Empathy

I should be in a pretty good mood right now.  I’m not saying that I’m in a foul mood by any stretch of the imagination, it’s just the fact that instead of being happy and in a pleasant mood, I feel kind of in the middle somewhere lately.  In fact, earlier this week, I had some pretty great news that broke, that I will eventually start sharing with my six readers and maybe over social media if I feel like it.  Unfortunately, earlier this week there was also some terribly bad news, that anyone willing to scroll back a few posts would realize, and it certainly has held a lot of weight to why I feel like how I do lately.  If anything at all, it’s the conflicting ends of the spectrums on the two events that have me somewhere in the middle, albeit leaning towards the wrong direction, that is preventing me from feeling absolutely depressed and somber.

The thing is, even without the tragic news from earlier this week, I think I’d still be emotionally weighed down, because aside from the super bad news from earlier this week, there are still things going on with various other people close to me and out there, that I’m aware of, and are aware that they’re bringing them down.  This makes me feel less happy, because I know there are people I care about feeling down.

Such is the nature of those with empathy, but I’m beginning to think that I might just be overly empathetic, if such is even possible.

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The lunch break conundrum

I have been put into a sour mood.  Twenty minutes into the official start of business, my manager calls me into his office.  I got chewed out, because I had left at 4:55 p.m.; a spineless, high-maintenance teammate needed* wanted to get in contact with me, and when he couldn’t get ahold of me on my office line, instead of calling my work cell phone, which he has done so in the past, he instead called my manager to inform him that I had apparently left unreasonably early.

*“need” would imply it was something important and essential, but rest assured this particular matter was not

I used the phrase “official start of business” in the preceding paragraph to emphasize the fact that despite more or less starting my workday getting chewed out, I had actually been in the office closer to forty minutes.  This is often times the case, that I arrive to the office earlier than 8:00 a.m., because I’m generally of the work ethic that “early is on time and on time is late,” and for whatever reasons, the county schools down here aren’t on any sort of schedule, so I like to leave early to compensate for the various times in which I might get stuck behind a school bus, so that I am not actually late.

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This actually happened

I’ll try to not get too much into it, but the worst part about my job is the degree of accessibility to me, those involved in each project I’m on has.  I love the fact that I have the ability to work remotely, since this has sparsely been the case previously in my long career as a graphic designer, but at the same time it goes both ways, and being able to remote also means that there’s also expectations that I should be able to work, on a moment’s notice.  Weekends, after-hours, and as was the case through Christmas, on holidays.

Yeah, I’m a little bit salty about that last one too.

However, there’s asking for legitimate revisions, like replacing a name, a typo, an incorrect statement or sentence, and then there’s asking for ticky-tack nitpicks, based on the subjective nature of other human beings with no artistic eye or formal training or understanding of design-related concepts, but because their title and pay-grade is higher than mine, somehow holds more weight.  Unfortunately, the latter is the vast majority of requests to me, and the above graphic is an actual request made.

Try and not get turned on the next time you get home, and pull out your keys to unlock the door.

Yes, we are going to talk about poop

In the very first Final Fantasy, Warmech was an enemy that could be randomly encountered on the long sky bridge preceding the fourth elemental fiend, Tiamat. Warmech was the strongest non-boss in the game, as it had a nuclear blast attack that attacked your entire party for a tremendous amount of damage, as well as health regeneration, lots of armor and strong physical damage output.

Subsequently, it rewarded you as if it were one of the elemental fiends if you defeat it, but the existence of Warmech was one-part easter egg, being a high-tech opponent in a world of fantasy, one-part completionist challenge, being such a difficult adversary, and one-part nasty surprise, because encountering one can only happen at a very inopportune time, right before another major boss fight.

It was deduced that the chances of encountering a Warmech on the sky bridge was approximately 3/64; which equates to roughly 5% of the time, but if you’re unlucky like me, you somehow manage to run into Warmech almost every time.

Anyway, there’s a sky bridge in my place of employment.

And there’s a Warmech that patrols it.

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Truck drivers make how much?

Apparently, America has a shortage of truck drivers.  To such a degree that at least for private fleets, the average trucker salaryis $73,000.  I’m not going to specify what exactly I make a year, but it’s not $73,000, and I have to imagine driving long distances is vastly less prone to dealing with office bullshit than my job is.

The amazing thing is the allegation that the reasoning for such a shortage is simply the fact that there aren’t enough people qualified to be truck drivers actually applying for these jobs.  I’m not going to assume it’s as simple as driving a Honda Civic for 12 hours straight, because I know that at least there’s the double clutch to consider and the sheer knowledge of physics that comes into play when traversing varying elevations.  But it still boils down to the fact that when all the training and preparation is done, it’s basically sitting in a gigantic car, driving things from point A to point B.

Just how much qualifications are required to be truck drivers?  They certainly can’t be that much, if the people driving all these trucks are the same people I see getting lost on the country backroads in the areas surrounding my home, or the litany of dumbasses who are crashing their cargo of food stuffs all over Metro Atlanta highways.

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The obligatory pre-Dragon*Con post, circa 2015

I feel the need to post something like this, because ultimately, I do like to try and attempt to network and ultimately drive people to visit my site, and I guess it would probably be best if I had something at least mentioning Dragon*Con as the first thing seen, instead of something overly ranty, sports-related, or Atlanta-criticizing, making anyone I implore to visit my site see something that makes them stop and think “did I get the site right?”  I’m sure seeing like, Dikembe Mutombo might wonder if they’ve been duped into giving some sports blog an unwarranted hit or something.

No, if there’s ever anything that gets people to visit my site during/after Dragon*Con is simply the fact that I take pictures, and am somewhat of a reliable repository of photos that people might be able to see mediocre photography.

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It’s not you, it’s me

I’m going through an odd period, up in the noggin, if it hasn’t been obvious to my six regular readers.  I’m seldom excited by anything, I think I’m susceptible to some odd mood swings, and I’m often times feeling anxious or troubled by things that I’m not even sure I can really explain much less comprehend myself.  I stop wanting to communicate with people that I don’t have to communicate with, and I just want to kind of be by myself and hope the metaphorical cloudy weather passes without there being any harsh rains.

I spend a lot of time trying to figure things out myself, and it seems like each day brings another possible personal revelation to why it is I’m feeling the way I’m feeling.  However, as is the case with human beings, the mind is constantly moving, and some thoughts and ideas stick better than others, and some fade away or become forgotten.

Today’s thought process is surrounded with the desire to simply attempt to isolate and identify the things that are eating at me.  Granted, identifying them and trying to rationalize them isn’t going to instantly make me feel like I’ve found some miraculous cure or anything, but if for anything at all, at least it’s giving me something to write about, when the rest of the world is seemingly so stagnant and boring, or at least the rest of the world I feel comfortable seeking out, behind the prying eyes of a potential Big Brother.

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