This is our country

Embarrassing, isn’t it? Normally, I’ll feign ambivalence to the unfortunate news of the world, but given the fact that this story is literally, quite unavoidable, enough thoughts have swirled around in my head to where I felt like writing something.

I’ll keep it short (as I can), because it’s not like there’s going to be any shortage of opinions on this matter, and mine certainly isn’t going to make or break anyone’s line of thinking.

I’m not qualified to say on whether or not I feel that it’s good or bad that the officer in question has apparently gotten off the hook without any sort of punishment, because I simply have not paid any attention. However, I do think that it’s completely unfortunate that the response of such a decision from the predominantly black community of Ferguson, Missouri has been that of a massive eruption of violence, vandalism, looting and general destruction.

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Perhaps societal rules should take a step backward

Impetus: teen vandals jump all over business owner’s car and effectively cause expensive damages, run away, are not caught, and of course are completely unaccountable for their actions

I come across stories like this one, and really the only thing that springs to mind are justice fantasies that typically involve perpetrators getting shot.  I’m not saying I want people killed for petty vandalism, but I’m not going to shed a tear if some teenage punks get shot in the legs, and incur some pain and suffering, for the obvious suffering they feel the need to incur onto others with their own stupid decisions to vandalize.  Seriously, I can’t say I would be the least bit scared at all if a vigilante with a rifle were on top of the roof of the business and shot the leg of the alpha vandal, incapacitated him until the police arrived, but instead trumpeting the ironic victory of a worthless little shit getting his just desserts instantaneously.

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These things exist??

Impetus: A United flight going from Newark to Denver has to make an emergency stop in Chicago, to remove two unruly passengers from the aircraft.  The two passengers, seated one behind the other, had an altercation that stemmed from the rear passenger applying “Knee Defender” clamps, which prevent the seat ahead from being able to recline, and the front passenger taking objection to being incapable of reclining.  It culminated with front passenger throwing a cup of water in the face of rear passenger, before the flight was forced to land in Chicago to remove both from the aircraft.

Never mind the story about the altercation, the takeaway from this entire story for me is that something like Knee Defenders actually exist.  And I fucking love it.

Obviously, this is because I fly more than your average non-business traveler, and I’ve had more than my fair share of getting the one person on the entire flight who decides that they have to recline their seat.  Seriously, there will be times where I get an entire row to myself, so I decide to spread out a little bit, and the person in front of me has the exact same idea, but has to make sure that they’re in the seat in front of me.  As soon as the ding indicating that we’ve reached cruising altitude is heard, the seat plops back crudely, and if my leg is crossed, or the tray is down, it’s an unpleasant sensation of having something appear to fall into your lap.

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Oh, Georgia #96

Long story short: Woman can’t parallel park near courthouse, asks complete stranger to parallel park for her.  Is surprised when complete stranger drives off in her car.  Woman’s sister was still in car when thief takes off.  Startles thief, who not only walks away scot-free, but also steals both the woman and her sister’s purses.  Bonus: woman’s car gets ticketed after being abandoned by thief.

You know what’s the most ironic thing about this whole thing?  The carjacker is probably the one party in this whole scenario that comes out looking the cleanest.  I mean sure, he’s still criminal scum and shouldn’t be on the streets, but he was pretty much gifted a free car.  Was he supposed to not slam down the alley-oop when lobbed one?

If you leave the door to your house open and tell the guy in a ski mask out front to not rob you, what do you think is going to happen?

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #014

Synopsis: A smooth, Barry White-talking dinosaur in a leather jacket stands outside of a tour bus, appearing to be something like a roadie for a band called Wild Cherry or similar. An excited female Pop Tart shows up, exclaiming her excitement at seeing the band’s tour bus. Roadiesaur asks if she’d like to meet the band, and upon affirmation, invites her into the bus. Pop Tart scampers into the bus that leads her precariously through the top of the roof. Roadiesaur then pushes a switch, which causes Pop Tart to sink back into the bus, whose walls then collapse revealing that it’s not really a bus, but a toaster – of doom! Upon successful execution of his diabolical plan, Roadiesaur cockily boasts the money line: “Groupies are easy.

Okay, so it’s not so much that this commercial is necessarily stupid, but there is one thing that I’d like to point out: isn’t the plot of this whole scenario basically murder? Not just any murder, but first degree murder?

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Are Ravens fans really this dumb?

As we all know by now, the answer to questions like these is always yes, but for the sake of having something to write about…

Long story short: Upon returning to Ravens training camp after being in court for domestic violence charges, Ray Rice was given a hero’s welcome and multiple standing ovations by fans in attendance.

The WSJ link really does sum it up succinctly, but I can recant the story with profanity.  Fans have the right to react in however manner they please, but to give a hero’s welcome a guy who was in court for beating the shit out of his wife?  That’s disgusting.

Ravens fans are dumb.  Cheering for a guy that has pretty much been caught on camera striking is wife, knocking her out cold, and dragging her unconscious out of a casino elevator.

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This stuff writes itself

Long story short: WWE wrestler Daniel Bryan comes home, discovers two men fleeing after breaking into his residence, gives chase, catches one, takes him down and puts him in a chokehold until authorities arrive.

I know people think wrestling is all fake and all, but it’s stories like this that I always get a ton of enjoyment out of, because in spite of the scripted storylines and predetermined match outcomes, the physicality of wrestling is still very real.

It’s apparent that the burglars had to know they were breaking into Daniel Bryan’s home, because it’s implied that they might have been the ones to have done it ten days prior. Clearly, they had no fear of robbing a person who emulates violence for a living, or the repercussions that could have occurred if they ran into said person, since they tried.

What’s funny to me is that Daniel Bryan’s first instinct to do upon catching the crook, was a wrestling maneuver. Sure, he does it for a living, but in the land of reality, a physical strike of some sort would be my first instinct. When I chased off the two thugs that broke into my house while I was home, I ran at them with a metal baseball bat, and thoughts of putting them into a LaBell Lock with it were the last thing in my mind.

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