2 Under 2: My child has a more refined palette than Paul Walker (#044)

As my child has gradually been climbing up the ladder of solid foods, one of the things that I have held back up to this point has been the crusts of bread.  One of the things that I’ve given her periodically has been toast with cheese melted on it; but minus the crust, as toasted bread crusts are hard, crusty and would be something of a choking hazard if not just a coughing trigger, things that I wanted to avoid while she was still very little.

Recently, I’ve begun feeding her the crust of bread, seeing as how she has several teeth and has become quite the voracious eater, much like her dad, and the risk of choking and weak esophagus have diminished some over the months.  To no surprise, she was able to take her own bites of the crust of bread and eaten it with little complaint.

It was in this moment that I realized that my daughter has a much more sophisticated palette than Paul Walker’s character Brian O’Connor from the greatest movie series of all time, the original The Fast and the Furious (the one with the the’s in the title).  And since characters are often loosely based on the people portraying them, I’m going to guess that tuna on white no crust is probably something that Paul Walker himself fancied, we won’t know definitively rest in peace.

But the fact that my daughter is more than capable and willing to eat the crusts of her bread means that at 14 months old, she has already surpassed the culinary palette of a 28-year old Paul Walker, when his character was shown stepping into the Toretto’s family convenience store to try and get into Mia’s pants by repeatedly ordering tuna sandwiches with no crust.

This might be more brog-worthy than her first steps or the fact that she’s demonstrating her increasing intelligence on a daily basis, but to out-eat Paul Walker, is something a dad should be proud of.

Oh, Atlanta #781

An acquaintance of mine posted this link to a story about how Atlanta wanted to designate an area for legalized street racing, and all I could do is wince and knee-jerk react about how stupid this idea sounded, without even reading the article or understanding the context behind this thought.  But then I read the article, and its own impetus article, and yep, everything is about as stupid, reckless and a terrible idea as it seems.

For starters, we have this little nugget of information:

On May 14 Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms said the city is looking at a new solution that came as a recommendation from her 18-year-old son.

I have mixed opinions about Atlanta mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms.  Personally I think she is what a lot of people thought she was, a hand-picked stooge by departing mayor Kasim Reed, who ultimately is in office to pad her pockets as much as she can before departing, and granting favors to all within her circle for them to pad their pockets as much as they can, much like Reed did.  But at the same time, I appreciate her staunch opposition to the current federal administration, and how she often times make a point to hold press conferences to state her intention of doing the opposite of what the Baked Potato in Charge is trying to do, as well as his local butt-buddy, Bubba Kemp, like strongly advising Atlanta residents to stay home and exercise proper social distancing, despite the reopening of the state.

But the fact that Bottoms is even considering this idea on the recommendation from her 18-year old son, this says to me that he himself is probably into street racing, probably partakes in it himself, and Keisha would only try to make it legal, because she doesn’t want her shithead son getting arrested and/or wrecking and hurting innocent people and becoming an embarrassing shit-stain on her career.

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$100k worth of noodles, 250 billion grams of sodium

Pretty sure the container was more valuable than the cargo: truck containing allegedly $100,000 worth of ramen noodles stolen from rural Georgia gas station overnight parking

I know the article states that it was a semi-truck, but I have a hard time believing that something the size of a semi could actually contain $100k worth of ramen noodles.  Especially if they were actually like the cheap shit Maru-chan noodles that are like 10¢ a package, but the article doesn’t actually specify the brand of noodles taken.

Instead, I imagine that the only thing remotely capable of hauling $100k worth of ramen noodles would have to be one of those land train trucks that’s basically a semi hauling 3-4 cargo containers in succession, like the one in Fast & Furious 4 that Vin Diesel stole one of the tankers of gas from.  Maybe, only maybe, would a truck hauling four containers worth of ramen noodles actually amount to close to $100k.

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Furiously excited for more Fast logos

Among some of my guiltiest of guilty pleasures is my general love for The Fast and the Furious film franchise. I mean, when I was a wannabe car tuner who thought everything JDM was god-like, and wanted to do a laundry list of things to the cars that I’ve driven, I watched the first film with that “it’s going to suck, but I’m going to watch it, so I can criticize everything wrong with it,” oblivious to the irony that I was forking over my money to feed the machine regardless.

Eventually, the arrogance and false sense of superiority dissipated AKA I began to grow up, and it turned out that I actually enjoyed these terrible films. Yes, I enjoy them, but there’s little denying the fact that they’re really campy, over-the-top films. My mom would watch it and call it an “엉터리 movie,” which translated literally means “nonsense.” Whatever though, I still enjoy them, and I can admit that I have seen every single one.

Needless to say, I was amused by the announcement by Vin Diesel who used social media to drop the news that not only is the FF franchise continuing for an eighth installment, but there are plans to have a ninth, and a tenth installment of the story, so that the franchise can literally boast ten films in twenty years. Also amusing are their tentative April release dates, so I can probably pull out the birthday card and force mythical girlfriend to go see them with me. hue hue.

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Why I like the Fast and Furious franchise

I don’t even know where to begin talking about Furious7.  Except that I enjoyed it, and I had more than one case of the feels admittedly, watching it; whether it was from the farewell piecemealed together for Paul Walker and his character, or the repeated monologues spouted by Vin Diesel about the importance of family.

Sure, it was a completely absurd movie, as every single one in the franchise was, and there was no length too far for the action sequences to go just a little bit more over the top than the one before it.  Who cares about the logic of how like a Somalian mercenary terrorist with a troupe of very American-sounding mercs manages to get a helicopter armed to the teeth with an accompanying Predator drone into Los Angeles airspace without alerting everyone in the city until it starts firing upon Toretto & Co.  Who cares about Kurt Russell basically being Nick Fury with SHIELD behind him?  Where does Dominic Toretto seem to house his endless supply of classic muscle cars that he just ends up destroying one after another?

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BEST WORST HOLIDAY

Ahh, it’s that time of the year when I can wake up on a Monday morning, and not feel the anxious feeling of knowing that I have a finite amount of time to brush my teeth, get dressed, let the dog out, and get out on the road, before a very tiny window of time that separates a 45-minute commute from a 60+ minute commute.

For it is Confederate Memorial Day observed in the great state of Georgia, and I do not have to work today.

This is kind of like the feeling of watching your favorite sports team’s arch-rivals losing to a third party.  After your favorite sports team has already lost for the day.

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Either I’m growing up, or WHY HONDA, WHY??

Impetus: Honda announces the next Civic Type-R(RRRRRRRRRRRR) will be released globally, meaning the United States will finally get the Civic Type-R for the first time.

Too bad it looks like Kermit the Frog was abducted by Storm Troopers, and enough scientific engineering were done to successfully mate a puppet with the general look of a suit of armor, resulting in this lime green turd.

Seriously, when I saw this picture of the new Civic Type-R, the first one that would be available in the United States, this is the first thing that popped into my head:

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