Tag: hulkamania

Truly fin..?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Is it really over?  Gawker to shut down indefinitely as ultimately result of messing with Hulkamania.

As if there were any doubt from the very start.  Sure, it took a few years, but the end result is the same as with anyone else who has ever tried to fuck with Hulk Hogan: defeat.

There’s really nothing else for me to say about the matter.  Gawker, thinking they were invincible behind first amendment rights, simply barked up the wrong tree and had an endless wave of Hulkamania run rampant all over them, and now they’re bankrupt, watched all their assets with actual potential get bought up by Univision of all companies, and then forced to shut down their flagship that no entity in their right mind wants to associate their names with.

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The story just somehow keeps getting better

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

REVA (Reír en voz alta (laugh out loud)): Gawker sold to Univision for $135 million dollars as a result of getting destroyed by Hulk Hogan

lol, Univision.  The entity best known for its Spanish-language television and ridiculously hot Hispanic weather girls on their news broadcasts.  They’re the ones buying Gawker, a husk of an internet rag once known for shitty, mostly plagiarized content with no regard for people. 

It’s like a match made in a South American hell, full of piss, tequila, corn tortillas and coatis.  This is mixing Wilfred with a Danny Trejo film.

And all because Gawker just had to fuck with Hulk Hogan.  Wrestling might be known to be “fake,” but there’s nothing fake about the power of retribution and good triumphing over evil that Hulkamania embodies.  The Iron Sheik, Andre the Giant, Randy Savage, Earthquake, Sgt. Slaughter, Ric Flair and even Vince McMahon.  There is nothing in the world that overpower Hulkamania; much less a sleazy internet shit-rag like Gawker.

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This might actually be the end

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

fin: Gawker files for bankruptcy, after jobbing to Hulk Hogan

It’s funny, since this whole debacle began, and the ensuing result of Hulk Hogan doing what Hulk Hogan does best, triumphing over evil, I stated that I don’t think I could ever be disappointed about any news in relation to this subject.  But I have to say that I was wrong about that, because I can’t help but feel a modicum of disappointment to hear that the storyline, is actually coming to its conclusion, with Gawker basically throwing in the towel and raising with white flag.

Honestly, I’d have preferred to read about at least four more courtroom battles between the Peter Thiel-powered Hulk Hogan and Gawker lawyers, and read about repeated the jobbing that would inevitably have ensued.  It’s not really a surprise, given the fact that money owed to Hulk Hogan was well beyond what was in Gawker’s coffers, but stories like this always have a tendency to drag out longer than they should; maybe they did, and I was just too giddy with enjoyment at seeing a slimy news rag get their comeuppance that it all just felt like a ride ending too soon?

Either way, I’m not surprised to see that this is happening, and the notion that Gawker thinks they will be absolved of paying Hulk Hogan the $140 million dollars they owe him.  Sure, a lot of it will be wiped out I imagine, but I also imagine that when Gawker inevitably sells, the Hulkster is going to get something for his troubles still; I know bankruptcy is often seen as something of a shrewd strategic maneuver to the 1%, but I’d like to know that Hulkamania will be getting something from his victory over Gawker.

Anyway, as fun as the ride was, I’m sad to see that it’s actually coming to a close.  The aftermath of the trial was pretty entertaining, with the reveal of Peter Thiel’s involvement and agenda, but the end result really isn’t that surprising to me.  Gawker goes belly-up, Hogan doesn’t get all the money he’s owed, and someone will inevitably buy Gawker’s remains, because there’s still some value in their name and notoriety itself.

Hopefully, the rest of the world will remember now that even at his old age, nobody should fuck with Hulkamania.

The saga that keeps getting better

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The enemy of my enemy is my friend: it is revealed that Peter Thiel, co-founder of PayPal and a really, really, really rich billionaire, has been secretly picking up the tab for the legal expenses of Hulk Hogan, in his ongoing battles against Gawker.

I know the Hulkster isn’t as Oprah-rich as he once was, due to a gold-digging ex-wife and a fuck-up of a son, but I would have figured he probably still had the connections and/or means to handle his own legal bills.  But never would I have expected this saga to have this kind of twist in the casting, with a tech billionaire in Silicon Valley funding Hulkamania in the battle of good versus insufferable.

Seriously, “Hulk Hogan” and “PayPal Billionaire” seem like two variables that had as much chance of associating together as a sea cucumber pairing up with an Intel processor.  But it is funny to see just how effective that having a common enemy can unite even the most unlikely of individuals.

Basically, among Gawker’s list of people they pissed off, Peter Thiel was among them.  A gay man, Gawker drew his ire when in 2007, they basically attempt to out him as a homosexual, when he was still in the closet.  Not that there’s anything wrong with him being gay, but I could understand how much it could suck to not being on your own terms, instead being basically extorted by a bunch of smarmy arrogant internet assholes.

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Gawker is Macho Man’s replacement

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

LOL: Hulk Hogan suing Gawker; again

“The Macho Man” Randy Savage (RIP) was a lot of things throughout his life; professional baseball player, professional wrestler, professional rapper, among other accolades.  However, one of the less glamorous titles in his life, was Hulk Hogan’s bitch.

I don’t say this with any disrespect either, because I loved the Macho Man.  But there’s really no other way to describe the fact that no matter where Macho Man went, he was always, always the second fiddle to Hulk Hogan.  Throughout his wrestling career, not only did Macho Man almost never defeat Hogan,* Macho Man won six world championships between the WWF and WCW; only to lose three of them to Hulk Hogan.  With the last two in WCW, not even getting to hold the belt for more than 24 hours each time, before dropping it to Hogan the night after winning them.

*honestly, I can’t recall a single instance where Macho pinned Hogan, cleanly

Even as a rapper, the one track that most people typically remember is the titular track Be A Man, where the chorus of the entire song is “Be a man, Hogan,” where Macho Man is repeatedly calling out Hulk Hogan in rhyme, but the point is clear that even long after their wrestling careers, Hogan was still implanted firmly in Macho’s butthole.

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The leg drop really is a dumb move

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the last few days, I’ve been watching a lot of Hulk Hogan leg drops, in honor of his recent victory over Gawker.  Now, I’m still excited and happy over his victory over that shitty network of sites, but eventually I got to a point where I’d begun moving on, and watching all these montages of Hulk Hogan leg drops got me thinking about ultimately, the leg drop is kind of a dumb move.

Basically, a wrestler leaps up in the air and drapes their popliteal over their opponent’s head.  It’s basically like clotheslining someone, with your leg, and probably with less momentum, since they’re already flat on mat, and gravity probably can’t provide the same force as person(s) running at each other.

Sure, Hulk Hogan made the move famous, but there’s no denying that when you take the Hulkster factor out of the equation, it’s still a pretty mundane and lackluster maneuver.

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When “owned” just doesn’t cut it

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

To add insult to injury: Jurors who recently awarded a $115 million dollar verdict in favor of Hulk Hogan have declared an additional $25 million dollars owed to the Hulkster in punitive damages, bringing the total of money owed to Hogan for posting his sex tape to a whopping $140 million dollars.

I ran out of words to express how delighted I was to have seen Hulk Hogan take down Gawker in court three days ago. Yet it’s becoming the gift that keeps on giving, as Gawker is deservedly kicked while already down, for another $25 million dollars thanks to their reckless “journalism” and arrogant believe they were invincible behind First Amendment rights.

“Owned” simply isn’t a sufficient term to describe just how dominating of a comeuppance beatdown Gawker was just given by Hulkamania. I want to force phrases like “Hulk hOwgan’d” or some shit, but know there’s no chance in hell it would stick. Unless another marquee lawsuit springs up featuring a fairly prominent figure versus a smarmy hack journalism outlet where the plaintiff succeeds, and people start using Hulk Hogan-ing as a verb to describe defeating crooked journalists, that is.

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