Tag: wwe

In memoriam of the greatest: Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’ve written a lot of eulogy-like posts about wrestling personalities who have left us, but this one in particular really hurts.  I don’t think I’ve pulled any punches about those whom I’ve admit to not being the biggest fans of, like when Roddy Piper passed, or Dusty Rhodes or even Chyna, but I’ve always had things to say about all of them.  That being said, when I say that this one really hurts, it’s because it is amongst the saddest of wrestling deaths in that not only the fans, but the industry as a whole has lost a genuine trailblazer and a man who whether they realized it or not, laid down the groundwork for generations of wrestling personas to this very day.

When I first got into wrestling back in like 1988, I was privy to have started watching in a time when Prime Time Wrestling on the USA Network was one of the flagship programs for the then WWF.  I can remember some of the matches I saw back then, like Ultimate Warrior vs. Haku, Mr. Perfect vs. Tito Santana, and Shawn Michaels vs. the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase.  This was during a time when WWF programming was typically several squash matches featuring stars versus definition jobbers, with a few of the aforementioned matches sprinkled in towards the end of each hour.

However, one of the other things viewers saw back then that stuck with me, was the studio segments featuring none other than Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon.  They would take care of the business aspect of television, such as promoting pay-per-view shows, live events (always at the Capitol Center), as well as doing typical wrestling commentary.  What I always remembered about those segments was that for a while, in front of Heenan’s spot at the desk, he had a “Ravishing” Rick Rude action figure standing over a fallen Ultimate Warrior action figure.  Little did I realize it was at that very time, Rude was feuding with Warrior over the Intercontinental championship, and basically Warrior was systematically going through the “Heenan Family” stable of wrestlers to get back to a point where he could and would eventually challenge and re-gain the belt.  But being a kid, I was just enamored by seeing action figures I wish I had very badly, on television in plain sight.

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I’m already sold on Bianca Belair

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So I’m watching The Mae Young Classic on the WWE Network for $9.95 a month, and it’s pretty much everything I figured it would be; pretty obviously scripted, easily predictable in who’s going to win what matches, and although I haven’t caught up to the very most recent episode, it’s a pretty forgone conclusion to whom will probably be in the final four, as well as who’s probably going to win the whole shebang outright.

And although she was someone who lost in the second round of the tournament, I have to say that the biggest takeaway for me so far, has been Bianca Belair.  Watching the first round matches, it was painfully evident the people that were there for fodder, but it was also as apparent to quickly identify the women that actually had some talent.  Belair caught my immediately, mostly because she didn’t just have a six-pack, but more like a Pepsi Cube of chiseled abdominal muscles; whether she could wrestle or not was irrelevant, this girl was a physical specimen.

I’m far removed from wrestling fandom to know who a lot of these women are, and I can’t be one of the cool hip smarks who know what their names in a previous federation or country were, but I was pretty immediately impressed by Bianca Belair in her opening round victory, because sure she was a little green in wrestling talent, but the athleticism was off the chart, and she had a very natural ring presence when it came to acting to her persona.

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Thoughts on a weekend of wrestling

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yeah pretty much I spent the entire weekend on my ass watching television.  Not only did I watch all of The Defenders with great relish, I also enjoyed the fact that it was a weekend featuring both NXT Takeover: Brooklyn III as well as the 30th anniversary of SummerSlam, with a brief interruption by Game of Thrones.  Since I don’t really get the chance to watch WWE television since I no longer have cable, I have kind of fallen out current storylines for the most part, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be able to enjoy either show.

To cut to the chase, it should be of no surprise that I would say that Takeover was easily the superior show, since there’s very little denying that they’re a vastly superior wrestling product versus the overboard storytelling on the main roster.  The subtle invasion of the next wave of Ring of Honor expats blew away the smark-hip Brooklyn crowd which is always a hot market for live shows, and it sets up NXT for a few months of above-average talent to mix things up with.

As a whole, I would say SummerSlam was pretty mediocre for what the WWE constantly bills as their #2 major show of the year.  It’s also way too god damn long, since it started at 7 p.m. EST and went all the way to 11; adding in the hour I paused to watch Game of Thrones, I actually had to stop prior to the main event and pick it up later, because I didn’t want to be up until like 1-2 a.m. watching wrestling on a night where I’d have to go to work the following morning.

But in typical WWE fashion, they have potentially good matches like The New Day vs. the Usos on the undercard, and have garbage like Big Show vs. Big Cass with Enzo Amore in a suspended cage in more premiere spots on the card.  Matches like AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens with the completely ‘roided up and humorously over-sweaty Shane McMahon as referee were reliably good, and I was moderately pleased by the main event despite my skepticism of any match featuring more than two singles competitors.

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NXT’s current best talent

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Ever since I’ve started watching NXT with some regularity, I feel like I jumped aboard during a pretty stale period.  Guys like Shinsuke Nakamura, Finn Balor and Samoa Joe have all left at pretty much the same time, and in their place has been a main-event pool of guys that I’m not remotely interested in, such as Bobby Roode, Roderick Strong and Hideo Itami; aside from Roode’s arrogance, there’s literally no intrigue, personality or narrative that anybody brings to the table, creating stories that are hard to get vested in.

As much as I disliked the name “#DIY,” the talent of Johnny Gargano and Tomasso Ciampa shined through, but now they’ve been broken up and taken off television for the time being, and taking their place in the tag team division are a bunch of mammoth hosses like the Authors of Pain and Heavy Machinery, who will undoubtedly have a stinker of a program when they inevitably collide for the belts.

But if there’s been one thing worth tuning into recently, it’s NXT’s women’s champion, Asuka.  Week in and week out, she’s the brightest star in all of NXT, and it’s going to be a dark time for the brand’s women’s division once she gets the demotion to the main roster.  She’s undefeated, and WWE’s even gone as far as to declare that she’s surpassed Bill Goldberg’s old WCW record of 163 wins before first defeat, and given NXT’s women’s talent pool it doesn’t seem likely that it’s going to end that soon, especially with her most recent victory over Nikki Cross in a Last Woman Standing match.

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Money in the Blah 2017

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

By the grace of god, a close friend of mine gave me his WWE Network access, so I’ve actually kind of been able to play catch up with wrestling, since I haven’t really watched any televised shows in nearly two years.  I ditched cable television in this span, so although I still can’t watch any RAW or the supposed renaissance of Smackdown that I’ve heard so much good things about, but at least I can watch NXT and pay-per-views as they come out.

And speaking of which, I was able to catch the latest WWE ppv, Money in the Bank, which I like to often describe as the storyline bailout show, since the sheer mechanism behind a one-time, unpredictable title challenge is a blessing for both fan anticipation and Creative, and can easily bail out any bad storyline choices, or add drama to existing ones.

Unfortunately, as much as things change throughout the years, some things never change either, in the world of professional wrestling.  Such as the ideal that if a ppv isn’t Wrestlemania, Summerslam, Survivor Series or the Royal Rumble, it’s basically a glorified bonus episode of RAW or Smackdown.  Money in the Bank is definitely on that B-tier of annual shows, but at least it gets to have a consistent name, and not something random and thoughtless like Great Balls of Fire (really?).

Needless to say, I was excited at the prospect of having a relatively free evening where I could watch MITB, but after the show was over, I was left with this unimpressed taste in my mouth, like when you drink a Pepsi MAX which tastes good going down, but leaves a lingering, slightly acidic and bitter twinge in the back of your throat whenever you swallow afterward.  Except the difference between Pepsi MAX and MITB is that I actually find Pepsi MAX to have been enjoyable, and was mostly meh about the rest of MITB as a whole.

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A completely different meaning for wrestling fans

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the last few weeks, I’ve heard a radio spot for this employment app called Jobber.  Supposedly, it’s this comprehensive all-in-one employer app that can do everything from asset management, payroll, hiring, and all the other bullshit nuances that go into day-to-day business operations.  Honestly, it seems kind of cool, and like the perfect kind of tool for inexperienced business operators to get their feet wet in the world of commerce.

However, what I can’t get around is their name.  Jobber.

I would wager money that I’m not the only person in the world in their car or listening to Sirius radio elsewhere that heard this radio spot and immediately had their wrestling fan senses triggered by name Jobber and started thinking about constant losers like Heath Slater, the Brooklyn Brawler, Alex Wright, Tommy Dreamer and Crash Holly, among countless others.

To people like us, the phrase “jobber” will never be synonymous with a potentially useful employment application; jobber will first and foremost always be a phrase used to describe a professional loser, who shows up to work, gets their ass kicked, loses a wrestling match, but then gets paid at the end of the day, they go home, and the cycle repeats itself for however long as they are needed to do so.  Jobber isn’t just a noun, the act of jobbing is also a clearly defined verb, and it’s pretty efficient at being an adjective as well.

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Unexpected, but unsurprising

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I can’t for the life of my say that I’m at all surprised by this: Sean Waltman AKA X-Pac, busted with a whole lot of drugs with the intent to sell

My friend texted me this story, along with the commentary that this was the least surprising story in the world.  I can’t say that I disagree one bit.  X-Pac getting busted for pot and meth seems about as much of a shocker as finding out Lance Bass was gay on the cover of People magazine.  Perhaps it’s the fact that X-Pac has looked like the living embodiment of a sexual transmitted disease for the better part of his professional life makes it seem like such a no-brainer, or perhaps it’s the fact that he’s allegedly been connected to lots of drug use in his life previously that does it.

An unsubstantiated remark sure, but he did make a sex tape with Chyna (RIP); it happening without the aid of some drugs seems kind of unbelievable too.

Whatever though, there’s just something funny about seeing anything at all about X-Pac in the news.  He’s pretty much a living joke, and even the mere mention of the phrase “X-Pac” is enough to draw snickers out of anyone who’s ever watched pro-wrestling in the 90s.  The fact that he was dumb enough to be caught with a ton of drugs in the first place just adds to the amusement in the story, because of course X-Pac, the guy who made the better part of his career chopping an X over this genitals and saying “suck it” on cable television whom one of his signature moves was shoving his crotch in the face of a prone opponent, was caught with a ton of drugs.

There’s really not a whole lot of additional commentary I can add to this, as much as I’d have expected to churn out a thousand words about the topic.  X-Pac’s always been reputed as a scumbag, so to see him getting caught for actually being one isn’t at all surprising.  Again, it’s just more amusing that X-Pac is in the news again at all.  At least his other Kliq buddies have sort of been doing some less illegal things with their lives lately, like visiting a buddy who opened up his very own Shoney’s.  God damn, does Scott Steiner look like a fucking jacked Colonel Sanders in that photo.

I got nothing else.  X-Pac, lol.