Tag: fail

We’re long past how the mighty have fallen

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Sauce: WWE Hall of Famer, Tammy Sytch “Sunny,” pleads no-contest to vehicular manslaughter under the influence, faces upwards of 25 years in prison

I haven’t really kept tabs on Sunny since her gradual disappearance from the world of professional wrestling, but when the story came out a while ago where she killed a guy in a drunken car crash, it opened the doors to wondering how her life had gotten to this point.  The last time I really saw her was when RAW had their 1,000th episode, and I remember thinking how she had held up pretty damn well, but it’s abundantly clear that the last 12 years of her life most definitely have not.

I knew she had some legal issues and had been in and out of jail a few times, but nothing seemed more than her own dumb choices of DUIs and being flippant about parole or unauthorized travel, so despite her poor judgment, at least she wasn’t like a hot mess of violence or more than a drunk for a criminal.  Frankly, her manslaughter charge, as tragic as it is that it resulted in loss of life, was just her doing what she had been doing, but to an extreme point, seeing as how she allegedly blew a ridiculous .280 BAC, which is almost as impressive as Johnny Damon’s also-Florida drunken escapades.

So we’re long past the point of stating how the mighty have fallen, because over the last twelve years, ‘ol Sunny has fallen quite a bunch of times, but not to as severe of a degree as this one.  Goes to show that being one of the original OG breakers of the internet back in the day really doesn’t have any monetary worth, although like many people in my generation, probably feels she would have thrived in today’s society with what they had at the table back in the day.

Honestly, the only reason this post came to fruition was the .280 BAC and how it reminded me of how amused I was with Johnny Damon’s DUI.  Frankly, I was never really a fan of Sunny, even if she was supposed to be eye candy, and as time has passed, aside from her personal demons, I’ve never really heard much good about her ever.  She was not well-liked in the locker room, mostly due to her ego on top of the typical chauvinistic culture back then, but much as come out with her extramarital affairs and basically how she cuckolded her husband Chris Candido numerous times, which doesn’t really jive with my ideals.

You can take the trailer park trash out of New Jersey, but can’t take the New Jersey out of the trailer park trash.  Especially when they relocate to the trailer parks of Florida instead.

But if I really have to have a last word on this, I suppose it’s for the best for all parties that Sunny gets the book thrown at her.  Not only will she be taken off the streets and be one less liability of a driver to not DWI and kill any other innocents, perhaps some nice quiet time in incarceration is what she actually needs to try and overcome her personal demons.

When a punny headline gives you no choice

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

NO CHOICE: Truck carrying truckload full of cans of nacho cheese spills all over I-30 in Arkansas; news outlets all over quick to bust out headline of “worst queso scenario”

Normally, no matter how tempting it is, I tend to resist glorifying truck spills from places outside of Georgia.  If it didn’t happen on a Georgia road, it doesn’t warrant mention on the brog, although I know I’ve done it a few times with the truly exceptional wrecks.

But when I caught wind of this particular crash in Arkansas, where the reporters couldn’t wait as if they were sitting on this headline, waiting for some cheese-related malady to eventually emerge, and then they all collectively bust out WORST QUESO SCENARIO and you know they were all throwing high fives and doing celebratory fist pumps after hitting publish, I just couldn’t sit on my hands and let this go without mention on the brog.

Talk about amusing this one is, with nacho cheese spilling all over a highway.  Although the likelihood of there being any collateral damage from this, because typically a truck overturning probably doesn’t have a tremendous amount of people thinking they can zip past it like they’re Dominic Toretto after the point of wreckage, but I like to imagine that if there were cars who were unfortunate enough to get caught in the wreckage, there would be a bunch of cars spinning out of control like in Mario Kart when you hit an oil slick.

Complete with the sound effects of getting slick’d.  But hey, better to spin out to a stop than to slide perilously into a costly and dangerous wreck.

Either way, entertaining and amusing is, a truck full of nacho cheese spilling all over the highways.  Even better knowing that nobody was hurt, so I guess it really wasn’t the worst queso scenario after all, but heaven forbid missing an opportunity to bust out that tagline, even if it’s not entirely accurate.

This is what it’s like when everyone knows the Mario Kart boost trick but you

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

3-2-1 GO?!  Somalia suspends chairwoman of country’s athletics federation after an embarrassing display where an untrained and unprepared runner placed dead last in a 100m sprint, nearly 10 seconds slower than the winner

Lord only knows why Somalia sent out someone so unqualified, untrained or unprepared for such an event, but if I had to guess, a no-show would have probably been worse than what they did, and they’d probably lose their spot or face some form of penalization.  Details are murky, but I’ve heard nepotism could’ve been at play, with the runner being related to someone in the decision-making process, or just completely inept planning, seeing as how a trained runner or any prepared backups were even in the building when they did what they did.

What really sucks is that despite the fact that in all likelihood it was not her fault, the poor runner is the one who is going to eat the unforgiving wrath of the internet, and be the target of all sorts of ridicule, commentary, memes and other less-than flattering outcomes.  More likely than not, it wasn’t her idea to be put in this situation in the first place, but she’s unfortunately the one who will be immortalized on the internet for this scenario.

But here it comes, not going to lie, I laughed my ass off when I saw the video.  I started snickering even before watching the video just from the synopsis alone, and by the time I got to watching the video, I knew what was going to happen, but it didn’t stop me from belly-laughing at the sheer hilarity of someone being in a situation they had no business being in, regardless of if it were their choice or not.

Even prior to the race, when you see the poor Somali runner stepping up to the blocks, everything about her stands out from her dress, stature, physique, and you just know it’s not going to be pretty.  And then the race starts, and it’s exactly what you predict is going to happen if you didn’t know the backstory behind it, and literally the best way to describe it is that it’s as if everyone knew about the Mario Kart starting light boost trick except the one person.

I know it’s not that person’s fault for being in that position, that it was entirely the result of inept leadership and people in decision-making positions that aren’t remotely qualified for them.  But I can’t deny that I haven’t laughed so hard at a video in a very long time, and I really, really needed it, and that I really, really appreciated the expense they’re coming at in order for me to have it, all the same.

I feel like we’ve seen this before

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Déjà vu: South Korea denies Germany opportunity to advance to the knockout stage in the World Cup with 1-1 draw

Shoutout to the South Korean women’s World Cup squad for doing basically the exact same thing that the men’s squad did in 2018.  Despite lackluster, uninspiring performances in their first two groups matches and in spite of being paired up against powerhouse Germany in their final groups match, they kept their heads help up high and played out of their minds, and in the process, cockblocked Germany from advancing to the knockout stage.

I’m not going to pretend like I follow women’s futbol on the regular, but I am often curious to see how the US women do, because I do enjoy the train of US women futbol players shouldn’t get equal pay to their men counterparts, because frankly I think they should get more, seeing as how they’re usually way more successful on the global stage than the boys are.  And when you have a global stage, I’ve always got an ear open to see how Korea is doing, if they’re even present at all.

When I saw that the Korean women had dropped their first two matches, I had this dread that the squad was going to exit the tournament without having scored a single goal, which would be pretty embarrassing.  I didn’t really think that a repeat of the 2018 men’s tournament was a chance, since I didn’t think there was any way that a country as proud and futbol-centric as Germany would allow for it to happen.

But unlike the men’s match that took 94 minutes to drive a knife into the hearts of Germany, the women apparently only needed just four minutes, when 조소현 scored a goal, putting the instant pressure on the Germans to not only have to equalize, but score at least two, in order to have a chance at gaining enough points in order to move on.  To add insult to injury, concurrently, Morocco scored on Columbia to tip the point scale even further for Germany, and despite them equalizing with Korea, the 1-1 tie at the end wasn’t enough to secure passage into the knockout stage, and what we have is that once again, Koreans sent Germany packing from the World Cup. 

They might have performed poorly throughout the tournament, but at least they finished strong, much like their male counterparts five years prior, left the World Cup on a high note.

At Germany’s expense.  lol’d

O pilsung corea, motherfuckers

A win is a win for Union City?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Source: Union City is #1… ranked worst place to live in Georgia.  Ouch

Normally whenever some rando websites called stuff like 24/7 Wall St. make lists about places the people writing them have obviously never been before in their lives, I’m usually full of objections and piss and vinegar and snark ready to rebut with.  Because like good old fashioned your mom jokes, as much as I criticize and dog on Georgia, it’s okay when I do it, but I sure as hell don’t always like it when those outside of here take a stab at some cheap shots.

But in the case of this rating system, that has Union City, Georgia as the #1 worst place to live in all of Georgia, I’m inclined to agree.   As a former resident of the south side of the Metro Atlanta area, I can say that I lived way too close to comfort to Union City than I’d care to admit.  Close enough to where I patroned the businesses, even if I didn’t really want to be there, just because it was close and convenient to where I lived. 

Needless to say, I’m not just agreeing with the shaming of Union City just because I buy what some website’s criteria is, I’m agreeing, because I have familiarity and a lot of personal experience of just how big of a shithole Union City really is.

Honestly, I didn’t really feel like I needed to have to read it to figure out what the main factor of the poor ranking was, because Union City and crime go hand in hand like peas and carrots.  The cited statistic that Union City’s crime rate is triple the state average, seems low in my opinion, seeing as how my old neighborhood’s NextDoor feed has at least two posts a day detailing people reporting gunshots, thefts or police incidents on a regular basis.

Just driving through town feels unsafe, no matter what time of the day it is, and it’s truly tangible how your own body can feel unsafe in an environment, just by being in the proximity of the town.

And I was always just passing through, or at the very worst, going to the one Kroger that was probably the closest to my actual house.  The roads are unkept, every parking lot is full of oil slicks, glass diamonds and copious amounts of litter, all evidence of poor maintenance and riff raff behavior.

I couldn’t imagine living in Union City, because if I was beginning to feel unsafe and uneasy on the regular where I used to live, I couldn’t imagine how much worse it probably was in actual Union City.  Having firearms and guard dogs wouldn’t bring me any more easiness, especially knowing that with the crime statistics in the city being what they are, the likelihood is that criminals would be living among me at any given time.

Either way, the point is, despite the fact that often times a lot of these rando sites that come up with lists about real estate and towns and cities across America are full of WASPy and NIMBY bullshit, but in the case of this particular list, I don’t think they could’ve hit the nail on the head any better.

I’m amazed Cam Newton lets Union City tout that they’re where he’s from, because he seems like a pretty regular cat.  But I guess it’s easy to live the good life when you’ve successfully gotten out of Union City.

The MLB All-Deferred Money Team 2023 presented by Bobby Bonilla

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In honor of Bobby Bonilla Day, I took it upon myself to compile a list of all the baseball players earning deferred money for the 2023 season, and if possible, put together a lineup that could hypothetically have competed in an actual baseball game.

In total, there were 22 players making deferred money from 12 different teams according to Spotrac’s records, totally roughly $75M which is equal to the Pittsburgh Pirates and higher than the Baltimore Orioles and Oakland Athletics.

Seven players are still active, with six of them making money from their former teams while getting paid by their current teams.

Of teams to NOT have any players with deferred salaries, the two surprises are the Los Angeles Dodgers and the New York Yankees, two teams typically with the biggest pockets in the game.  The Dodgers lucked into not having the embarrassment of having any deferred payments this year, as they have been known to employ the tactic in the past, but the Yankees, much like House Lannister clearly believe in paying their debts and not getting themselves into any deals that involve paying for guys once they’re gone.

The team that was most surprising to see with a deferred salary was the Oakland A’s, the de facto cheapest team in baseball, with $5M still committed to pitcher Trevor Rosenthal, whom hasn’t played a game since 2020.  This accounts for nearly 1/12 of their dead-last $60M payroll.

The teams with the highest deferred monies are the Washington Nationals and Baltimore Orioles with $23.5M and $15.7M tied up to guys retired or not on their teams anymore.  These numbers account for 25% and 24% of their respective payrolls.

And of course, we can’t have a discussion about deferred money deals without bringing up the guy that relatively made the whole thing famous, Bobby Bonilla.  By now, most people are aware of the hilarious $1.2M he is paid by the Mets every single July 1, seemingly until the end of time, or at least it feels like it, but not as many people are aware that he’s also getting an annual $500K stipend from the Orioles as well.  That being said, Bobby Bo might not be the highest deferred payment on the list, but he definitely is the only guy to show up twice.

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