Tag: wrestling

Believe that

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

OOOAHHHHHHH – Samoan for* “Roman Reigns suspended by WWE for violating their wellness policy”

*not true

This is an interesting story, because Roman Reigns is a main-eventer and come from a reputable wrestling family, most notably related to, The Rock.  Typically wrestlers under certain circumstances are inexplicably exempt from ever being in violation of the WWE Wellness Policy, and are often times alternatively given a private slap on the wrist, much to the dismay of other wrestling superstars who are not within said circumstances.

This is unofficially called the Randy Orton Line, on account of Randy Orton being caught multiple times throughout his career for steroid use or other undocumented violations of the same wellness policy, but not getting any substantial reprimand or punishment, popularly believed to be because he was a main-eventer, as well as coming from a reputable wrestling lineage, one that has always been in good relations with Vince McMahon and family.  Those underneath the Randy Orton Line in the roster hierarchy and lacking in legacy clout typically face the suspensions that range anywhere from 30-90 days, if not outright firing.

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Enzo and Cass are already boring

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Enzo: my name is enzo amore and I am a certified g and a bonafide stud and you can’t teach that.  this here is big cass and he’s seven feet tall and you can’t teach that.  badaboom, realest guys in the room, how you doin’?

Cassady: (improvised remarks about Dudley Boyz opponents) and there’s only one word to describe you (period) and i’m gonna spell it out for you: s-a-w-f-t

Here’s the thing; I just wrote all that out from memory.  I’m 90% sure that I’m 100% correct on the entire spiel, because I’ve heard the exact same fucking lines every single RAW since Wrestlemania.  And the fans eat this shit up, reciting the whole routine, word for word along with them, while popping like they’re cheering for Hulk Hogan in the 90s all the while.

Personally, I’m already bored of Enzo and Cass, and I’m at the point where I know that 4-5 clicks of the 30 seconds forward button is sufficient to skip the entire entrance routine, see that they’re wrestling the Dudley Boyz for the 74th time, and then start clicking some more to skip the match outright.

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Oh Georgia, #546

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

IT’S REAL GOD DAMMIT: Woman pulls gun on professional wrestler during a live event

I don’t even know where Ringgold is.  I had to look it up on Google Maps in order to see that it’s basically in Tennessee.  That’s kind of a relief, because I’m glad to know that psychopaths like this lady are at least a good two hours outside of Atlanta.

Anyway, this is definitely one of those stories that, regardless of the progression that the professional wrestling industry has made with becoming slightly more acceptable and not quite as the guilty pleasure that fans have had to hide their enjoyment of, brings it all crashing back to the days of ridicule and embarrassment.

Also bonus embarrassment for Georgia’s lax concealed carry laws, as an unhinged person is somehow allowed to wander into a glorified bingo hall, where a wrestling show that has a heel character that is known to antagonize fans – with a gun (and a knife).

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WWE revisionist fail

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Like many people, I get a kick out of lists.  Among them, I’ve typically enjoyed a lot of the lists produced in video format, by the WWE’s YouTube channel, and I appreciate the general transparency, and willingness to stop taking wrestling fans as idiots and pretend like alternate wrestling options don’t exist, by showcasing guys that aren’t with the company any more, or those who have left this world in passing.

Except for one man, whom yes, did truly horrific and terrible things, and the world is a better place without him in it.  But like I’ve said numerous times about the topic, such things can easily be said about the man himself, but as a wrestling performer, I will still say he is one of my all-time favorites, and someone whose body of work as a performer I can still admire and appreciate, separate from the human being he was when not performing as a wrestler.

This man is obviously Chris Benoit, who murdered his wife and son before taking his own life.  But make no mistake, the wrestler Chris Benoit was a tremendous competitor and had a laundry list of A+ matches throughout his career.  Twice a World champion, with numerous secondary and tag titles won in his career, Benoit was a technical wizard in the ring and could really go in any style at an excellent level, be it submission, technical, strong style, or just plain brawling entertainingly.

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Even Chyna deserves better

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Every year, around my birthday, I kind of hold my breath for a five-day span going two days before and two days after the actual day.  As I’ve pointed out countless times in my life, a lot of bad things tend to happen near, on or around my birthday, and I really wish that such weren’t so often the case.  I think somewhere along the line of tragic events and deaths that tend to happen in April, along with my generally self-deprecating nature leads to the sort of stigma I have when it comes to my birthday.

Unfortunately, 2016 is no exception to the rule, and two days after my birthday, the world was tragically informed that Prince had died, due to god knows what, as to no surprise, the details are still kind of murky and nothing seems to be confirmed yet.  I’m not going to pretend like I was the world’s greatest Prince fan by any stretch of the imagination (lord knows we have social media where people can do that), and I would be one of many who would struggle to name a song other than Purple Rain, but I do admire the guy for the musical savant that he was, and was always in awe whenever I heard stories or accounts of him picking up any instrument and going to town like a pro, because that kind of talent is truly incredible.

But I’m not writing this post for Prince, because as I said, as much as I admired his talents, he really wasn’t that big of a part of my fandoms nor did I have any sort of meaningful connection to his existence.  Not to mention the whole rest of the internet has Prince eulogies and tributes covered.

I’m writing this post for the other person who had the unfortunate fate to call April 21st their last day alive, the person who will always be overlooked if not outright forgotten on this date in history.  Much like Farrah Fawcett passing on the same day Michael Jackson passed, or any other notable instance where one notable person died on the same day as someone who was on a whole other level of notoriety.

Joanie Laurer, better known as Chyna to wrestling fans, passed on April 21st.  The news of her passing was quickly swept under the carpet due to the passing of Prince, that was announced nearly 4-6 hours after hers made it to mainstream outlets.  There’s no denying that Prince was certainly a bigger star than a professional wrestler, but this is where people like me come in, to reminisce and share some words about a lesser-known human being in a lesser-respected genre, who deserves to be remembered for their good as well as their bad, as having existed.

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The leg drop really is a dumb move

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the last few days, I’ve been watching a lot of Hulk Hogan leg drops, in honor of his recent victory over Gawker.  Now, I’m still excited and happy over his victory over that shitty network of sites, but eventually I got to a point where I’d begun moving on, and watching all these montages of Hulk Hogan leg drops got me thinking about ultimately, the leg drop is kind of a dumb move.

Basically, a wrestler leaps up in the air and drapes their popliteal over their opponent’s head.  It’s basically like clotheslining someone, with your leg, and probably with less momentum, since they’re already flat on mat, and gravity probably can’t provide the same force as person(s) running at each other.

Sure, Hulk Hogan made the move famous, but there’s no denying that when you take the Hulkster factor out of the equation, it’s still a pretty mundane and lackluster maneuver.

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Finally truly respectable

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

If there’s one good thing about Wrestlemanias, whether you watch them or not, it’s usually the most opportune time for the WWE to make some changes upon it’s passing.  Throughout the years, belt changes have often come on or immediately after Wrestlemanias, including numerous iterations of the World title, the Intercontinental championship. all the times John Cena wigger-ized both the United States and the World championships.  But at long last, the most visually problematic belt of the bunch, the maligned Divas Championship was finally put to rest, replaced with the new and respectable WWE Women’s Championship.

This is a step in the right direction.  But a bigger step in the right direction is the WWE’s decision to finally scrap the whole notion of “Divas” in the first place, and anoint the women wrestlers with the same distinction as the male wrestlers – Superstars.

It’s not so much that I’m some ultra feminist, as much as it’s simply the fact that I recognize that women’s wrestling has come leaps and bounds from the days of Torrie Wilson versus Stacy Keibler cat fights or Sable versus Jacqueline piss breaks.  Those were Divas.  From AJ Lee, Paige, to the more current crop of stars like Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch, and those on the way like Bayley and Asuka, calling any of them Divas isn’t as much of a disservice as much as it’s simply kind of insulting.  All of these women have proven that they can go, and it’s at last long overdue that they’re no longer denigrated by the title of Diva, and called the Superstars that they really are.

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