As some might recall, I skipped Dragon*Con in 2016, citing that I felt like I needed a break from the event as a whole, cold turkey full stop. Mythical gf and I deliberately scheduled an out-of-country cruise vacation on that very same period of time so that we could eliminate all doubts and remove all temptations to participate in anything, and I have zero regrets for doing what we did then.
However, I would be lying to myself if I didn’t feel a little bit melancholy about the notion of deviating from what was something of a yearly tradition, where large chunks of my friends gather, and it’s a pretty comprehensive experience of catching up with people, taking a ton of pictures and imbibing in a whole lot of alcohol. As much as I relished in the opportunity to take a break, I kind of knew that I would be back the following year; I accomplished my goal of wanting to feel like I missed out, which renewed my sense of wanting to go back.
Life works in interesting ways sometimes, and we don’t always get to have a say in what happens when. And as much as I was actually back to looking forward to Dragon*Con again this year, some things I’m not going to get into happened at a fairly conflicting time, and really derailed the experience as a whole. Needless to say, not only was Dragon*Con something that got pushed into the backseat, I’ll admit that it was something that was practically impossible for me to enjoy throughout the weekend.
I’ll often say that writing is an efficient form of therapy for me, and sometimes it takes seeing thoughts formed into words and slapped onto a word processor for me to gain some clarity, but such is very true as far as my overall feelings of the con itself. I’m trying my best to remain as objective as possible without letting my personal life overlap with anything else, but the reality is that everything is relative, and life doesn’t take a backseat just because something is planned, and life doesn’t stop when it comes to day-to-day living them out.
I’ve hesitated writing anything about Dragon*Con for longer than I normally would, but I’ve been trying to get all my thoughts in order and trying my best to make clear separations between how much life happenings and convention experience overlap. For the matter, this could be a year where the whole convention could very well just have an asterisk next to it, as if to indicate that it’s an anomaly that almost shouldn’t count in the cumulative good times of all conventions past, because of outside variables.
But the bottom line is that as far as 2017 is concerned, there is no getting around the fact that I walked away from the con with an overall feeling of simply not being impressed. Obviously, a tremendous amount of it likely stems from simply not being in the right state of mind or not being remotely mentally prepared for an activity avalanche such as D*C, but at the same time, there are also a lot of frustrations, concerns and gripes of years past, that clearly a year away hasn’t resolved, especially with the continuously record-breaking growth the con boasts about year after progressive year.
Estimated to have drawn a record-breaking 80,000 attendees now, D*C is bigger than it was a year prior and the years before that, and it definitely felt every bit of it. I’ll admit that my droll mindset wasn’t the best equipped to deal with large crowds and roll with the punches, but there’s no denying that there were plenty of times in which it certainly felt like the world was overpopulated, and the excesses of population were all gathered at D*C. Never mind the elevators and entry points where everyone already knows would be a logjam of humanity, but it’s just, everywhere this year where it would just be impossible to move anywhere.
I’ve never felt anxiety in crowds before, but I was definitely beginning to feel anxious, crammed into everywhere I tried to stand.
Although nothing has really changed about D*C being where people want bust out the biggest, baddest and most impressive costumes and props, this year it really, really began to grate on me, just how much space all these people were taking up, probably in light of the 80,000 attendees that were crammed into the already-crowded hallways, atriums and lobbies.
Like, I know I already sound like a cranky old man when I say shit like this, but I found it extra fucking infuriating this year every single time I got snagged in human traffic because of someone in costume with a prop bigger than them, in an encumbering outfit that made them wider and more space-consuming than a person, or the 50 people that insist on showing up year after year with remote control R2D2s or Daleks or whatever other glorified toy that just ate up space and made movement very difficult for actual people.
I nearly went postal at one point, when I was walking from the Hyatt to the Marriott, and to no surprise, there was a snag in the hamster tunnel between the two hotels. This is never really a surprise, because it’s usually a person in a wheelchair, someone on crutches, or someone with a physical handicap, which nobody can really get upset with. However, because this particular tunnel winds and turns, it’s entirely possible to see what exactly is the cause of the holdup, and in this particular case, it was some fucking asshole in a Where the Wild Things Are suit or an Elcor from Mass Effect that was incapable of moving at normal walking speeds, quite literally clogging up the tunnel with their girth and immobility.
It was truly a genuine point where I regretted the choices in my life. After clearing the tunnel, I went straight to my hotel room where I pounded no less than two Schofferhofers to try and cool off, and my mood to actually socialize and be amongst people was completely shot dead, buried, dug out of the grave by Kane, tombstoned and re-buried.
And not to single any one particular guy out, but the dude who shows up every year in the Resident Evil executioner costume but has to be on stilts and whose balance is completely dependent on constant movement, in spite of being in a slam-packed place where movement is a luxury few can actually indulge in; is the gold standard of costumes that I think are extremely inconsiderate and obnoxiously big. I don’t know this person, and they could very well be a good guy underneath the costume. But come on, Resident Evil 5 is almost 10 years old now, and he’s basically my personal standard in describing all con-goers who insist on wearing stilts or costumes that manage to inconvenience every person in their surrounding vicinity.
And let’s not get started on the thousands of people with cameras and/or cameras on their phones who want to take pictures of everything in site, but unlike me are completely spatially blind and unaware of their surroundings before taking a shot. Sure, it sounds like me calling the kettle black, but I actually make a habit of asking if people would be willing to stand aside, or direct them to an area where they’re not in the middle of walkways or one of us is forced to bump into others.
To no surprise, like I seem to do at every convention, I was getting salty over photography in general, questioned why I do this, and decided to really scale back on taking many pictures. The good news is that because I didn’t do so much photography, I didn’t get big-leagued by any snotty costumers, but on the flipside, my overall output of photos isn’t that large.
I also didn’t really have much objective throughout the weekend. And that led to me being by myself a lot of time, and this was not the D*C where I should have been spending a lot of time by myself. But I did anyway, and it didn’t particularly lead to a whole lot of constructive time outside of my own head. But going back to the original point, with no objectives, it led to a whole lot of aimless existence, and dissatisfaction when I realized just how out-of-touch I am with all my recognized friends and acquaintances whom when I did see them, didn’t really have a whole lot to say, or they had their own actual objectives and things to do.
I think someone like me needs to have at least one or two goals or objectives throughout a D*C weekend in order to feel like I wasn’t just wasting all my time and money there. Actually, I did have two goals during the weekend (meeting Stan Lee and Xavier Woods), which I accomplished, so I guess I should say I should have one or two continuous goals throughout the weekend, or actually plan to have some semblance of an agenda. Or maybe I should become really good at photography, so I can pack my weekend full of shoots and actually have some tangible evidence of time well spent.
Regardless, I found myself feeling like I was being too much of a curmudgeon throughout the weekend, and I actually minimized my own presence at those times. Not that expect anyone but a few friends noticed, but despite having a full reservation throughout the whole weekend, I opted to not come in Thursday night, and I actually went home on Saturday night. I felt really over the convention numerous times throughout the weekend, and it’s not fair to others who might actually be having a good time, for me to try and bring them down with my bad attitude.
I certainly hope and am happy for anyone who did have good weekends at D*C, but holy shit was this not a good weekend for me. This is where I’d say, “maybe next year!” but frankly, I’m not certain if that’s going to be a reality just yet. I might be getting too old, or my priorities in life just might be in different places, but god damn I can only hope that the timing of everything will be better. I like to think that if D*C were two weeks earlier or two weeks later, it would have been a completely different narrative.
The bottom line is that I did not enjoy Dragon*Con much, at all, this year, and I already don’t feel like I want to go next year, again. I’m 99% sure that most of these feelings are on account of my own baggage and mental unpreparedness, but there’s also the part of me that does believe that every year doesn’t have to be D*C, and that there are many other fun, rewarding and likely less costly activities that can be done on a Labor Day weekend.
