Today was supposed to be a good day

Reverend Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff defeated Kelly Loeffler and David Purdue in senate races, one tighter than the other but the results the same, but Georgia basically saved the country from Mitch McConnell’s continued reign of tyranny, and now both the House and the Senate are controlled by team blue.

But then in Washington D.C., a substantially sized army of baked potato fanatics converged on, and then stormed the Capitol, many carrying arms, and interrupting the count of electoral votes to formally confirm the victory of Joe Biden.  One woman was shot and subsequently killed, the police did mostly nothing, and hundreds of ‘Murican terrorists trolled the federal landmark, forcing evacuations and hiding of numerous senators and the vice president of the United States too.

The actions of all these maniacs were all pretty deplorable no matter what way it’s looked at, but it’s the visuals alone that told a hundred different stories of one frightening reality, that among the 74 million racists that voted for the baked potato, there is an alarming number of them that are so fanatically devoted to their fuhrer that they’re willing to act in such extreme, militant ways and with such disregard to law and democracy, that they would basically participate in a flagrant coup attempt to basically ruin the entire country.

I saw this one picture of people scaling the walls of the Capitol, and all I could think of was how it reminded me of like, the white walkers that were crawling all over the walls of the cave of the Three Eyed Raven in Game of Thrones, or more accurately, the Battle at Helms Deep from The Two Towers, where orcs were scaling the walls trying to get in.  Metaphorically, there’s not much difference between all three of these comparisons; it’s a bunch of degenerate trolls trying to get into somewhere they shouldn’t be in, to do nefarious things.

A lot of fancy words are being thrown around to try and describe the whole scenario, but make no mistake that it was domestic terrorism at its very worst.  I’m not politically savvy enough to really expound on the more granular details of the whole situation, but ultimately what is prompting me to write is that despite the fact that I think that America just fucking sucks right now, it’s like a mom joke, where I’m allowed to say mean things like that, but it’s because at the root of things I do care, and the fact that we all had to bear witness to our country being so despicably disrespected and dishonored by such terrible people, it just makes me, really upset and sad.

Like, the words “it’s just sad,” escaped my mouth at least 52 times as the afternoon transpired and the sun set and we went into the evening, with baked potato trolls all still trolling around Washington D.C.  Friends of mine and I often wondering how only one of them was shot, knowing the obvious answer that them being white basically makes them bulletproof, and also wondering why nobody seemed to have been arrested, with the answer remaining the same.

But it’s because it really was truly saddening, that such a thing could even happen, and basically all perpetrators get away with it, and then we don’t have to look any further than the sore loser president with two weeks left on the job basically orchestrating the mother of temper tantrums, thinking-he’s-being-cleverly egging on his mindless goon followers to simmer down, knowing full well they really aren’t.  Everyone knows he gets off on knowing he has such a devoted following, and all people like me can really hope for is that their general protection disappears once he’s out of office.

Regardless, there’s no going back in time no matter how much we wished there was, and on this day, a legitimate coup attempt happened in America, and it was very much encouraged by a sitting president of the United States, jilted at the defeat he suffered in the last election, and would rather attempt to burn down the country that put him in power, than amicably transferring it over to his successor.

Just a day prior, the democratic process shone bright as a star in Georgia, as a record number of voters poured out, understanding that they held the more or less fate of the entire country in their hands, and people voted for the most qualified candidates to lead them forward.  And then one day later, one pissy orange oompa Loompa manages to take all that political equity, and burn it right to the fucking ground.

It’s just sad.

Oh, Georgia #745

It’s election night in Georgia, and as fate would have it, the fate of the United States Senate rests on the results of what happens here, as the two Senate seats that will either solidify the Republicans’ control, or wrest power away from that gross old shithead that always looks like he’s shit his pants, Mitch McConnell, as the tie-breaker would permanently be held by vice president Kamala Harris.

But on a more base level, a level that is more relatable and understandable by all people, whether they’re American or not, tonight’s election is basically going to determine whether Americans would be eligible to getting $2,000 of coronavirus stimulus relief (Democratic win), or if the status quo of old white men denying all in order to deny black people and other minorities from getting any sort of financial relief (Republican).

Who really knows what’s going to happen.  When the polls closed, blue shot out to the lead from early precincts reporting, but with over 2,000 in the state, such points would be meaningless as all the racist hicks and rednecks who vote auto-red are tabulated in, and at the time I’m writing this, both Warnock and Ossoff’s leads have been slashed heavily, and we’re sitting on the tightrope margin that pundits originally predicted.  It’s anyone’s game at this point, and my only hope really is that more Georgians want a shot at $2,000 a head, to where blue remains in striking distance when all the precincts are called, and that the mail-in ballots that won the presidential election in November, can do the same thing over the next week or two as they’re counted last.

The thing is, red is still in the driver’s seat, as blue has to go 2/2 with victories for both Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff, while red only needs just one of Kelly Loeffler or David Purdue to win in order for the Senate to maintain their majority.  But I was pessimistically fatalistic about the presidential election and was pleasantly relieved, and like most Americans who would like the chance at $2,000 smackeroos, I’d much rather see blue prevail over two money-laundering mannequins.

Regardless, election night isn’t what prompted tonight’s brog drivel, but it is worth mentioning, because basically the fate of America really does fall into the prickly hands of Georgians. 

What did prompt me to start writing tonight was this particularly amusing article about how jobber former-president baked potato has decided that idiot Georgia bubba governor Yosemite Sam, cost him the election, and has vowed to campaign against him come 2022, when he would be up for re-election.

Continue reading “Oh, Georgia #745” →

New Father Brogging, #027

I was at a Target the other day, and while we’re checking out, I hear this little girl at the in-store Starbucks, ordering a caramel macchiato.  Now I think Starbucks’ caramel macchiatos are definitely tasty, but the thing is that this girl was like, ten years old.  And a Starbucks caramel macchiato probably has ten times the sugar and caffeine that a grown-ass adult ever needs in one sitting much less for a ten-year old twig of a girl.

Basically what I saw was a future Karen in the making, with a child already having developed a penchant for froufrou Starbucks coffee drinks, and for her own sake, it was good that the espresso machine was down, but I’m surprised that she or her completely disinterested looking dad didn’t demand to speak with a manager, and she walked away saying she was good instead.

One of my dreams now is to one day sit with my daughter in a coffee shop and have some coffee together.  However, seeing as how I would prefer for her to not start drinking coffee until she is like 17, that’s going to be a ways from now, but I’m willing to wait it out as long as I don’t risk stunting the growth of my daughter and/or make her a slave to caffeine as much as her dear old dad is.

The whitest thief in the world

I mean, there’s really not much to add to the headline.  A Tennessee man is arrested for stealing an alleged $65,000 worth of clothing from Hollister and American Eagle. 

Clearly, the mall in which he was victimizing must not have had an Abercrombie & Fitch, otherwise it’s safe to assume they would have been pilfered from too.

Sometimes, stories just kind of write themselves, and when I see a headline about how Hollister and American Eagle are the companies being burgled, my first thought was “white people clothiers” and how the perpetrator must undoubtedly be a white guy.  Seriously though, it probably wasn’t the best idea to be stealing from global brands like these, because regardless of race, these are companies that live and die by numbers, and $65,000 worth of merch is undoubtedly going to be noticed and it would only be a matter of time in which action would be taken.  Trent McWhiterton III clearly dipped into the well a little too many times and to no surprise, was eventually caught.

The funny thing to me was his general racket of stealing brand new goods, and then selling them to consignment shops.  Undoubtedly, Plato’s Closet was probably only to give him 25% of the value, at consignment rates, so in spite of the fact that he stole like $65k* worth of clothing, he probably made like $10k in sales.  Honestly, if this bro weren’t so lazy, he probably could’ve made vastly more money through eBay, and probably been way safer, since apparently it was Plato’s people who helped tip off the fuzz.

*let’s also not forget that $65k worth of Hollister and American Eagle is probably like $6,500 in materials and Cambodian slave labor to manufacture

What’s also entertaining to me is that I just happened to chance across this story, because like many Americans right now, I’m fixated to election news, and for whatever reason, this story happened to be the first thing listed in related articles.  I guess there is though, a modicum of relation considering just how white and criminal the election process kind of is, that a story about a white guy stealing from white people clothiers can be somewhat related.

Whatever though, white people getting busted for stealing from white companies, and where ultimately everyone comes out a loser, that’s all water off my back.  It’s something whimsical for me to write about while I await hopefully good news to come out of this shit show, because I’m tired of feeling like I’m held hostage by the country with everyone else, who just wants to know who’ll be our dear leader for the future.

Oh, Georgia #666

Nothing surprises me anymore: Georgia governor Yosemite Sam attempts to appease his god-king baked potato in charge, by signing an executive order that effectively prevents localities from having the ability to legally mandate mask wearing in public AKA cities aren’t allowed to legally make mask wearing mandatory

If it weren’t the president and all of his followers making all these choices, I’m pretty sure there would be hundreds of politicians and bureaucrats that could technically be guilty of plotting first-degree murder.  If the definition of first-degree murder is that it was premeditated and well-thought out, that seems pretty fair to say that all these old white shitheads in politics are all taking great planning and thinking through the systematic potential killing of thousands of American citizens.  If that’s not premeditation, then I don’t know what is.

Anyway, at this point, I really don’t have any more words to add to the endless slope that America continues to slide down.  This country fucking sucks now and if not for the fact that my entire life and career is here, as well as all of my friends and family, mythical wife and I have often “joked” about the notion of packing our shit and moving abroad to like Korea.  Not to mention the immigration process is painstakingly arduous on both sides of the world.  But it’s still a discussion worth having these days, and if money weren’t an object, it could become a fantasy worth making into a reality.

But the picture alone is worth the metaphorical thousand words, but not really a thousand, because I don’t know enough synonyms for “shitheads” and “bigots,” and frankly both of these clowns are so simplistically terrible that there aren’t even close to a thousand words to describe them.  One hates everyone on the planet that isn’t a fellow billionaire and doesn’t challenge his way of life, and the other will do absolutely anything to appease his god-king, even if it means sacrificing American lives, but it’s okay because the vast majority of the lives at risk will most likely be blacks and Hispanics and the poors, and they’re less than human beings to both.

I mean seriously, look at Bubba in the above picture.  He’s basically eyeing the baked potato’s toadstool, wondering if he should use the swirl or the pinch once they’re in private quarters, and the mask he’s wearing isn’t so much to protect himself from coronavirus as much as it is to contain the rabid salivating he’s probably doing at the thought of getting to pleasure his idol.

But that’s low-brow of me to make such a crude observation.  However, I’m also not plotting on killing thousands of Americans on a daily basis, so when the day is over, a little crude narrative making doesn’t seem so bad in comparison now does it?

I think the saddest part of everything is that everyone seems content to wait until November to see what chips will fall come the next presidential election.  But last time I checked, in America, it’s entirely possible to fire inadequate workers from the job, and it really makes me sad that the office of president seems to be immune from it, regardless of being impeached or not.  Regardless, everyone seems to have this wait until November attitude, but there’s a lot of shit for America to continue to fall into and hang on in until then, and I can’t help but wonder why we’re all waiting, as a nation, instead of acting.  I feel like the country has never been so close to a mass mutiny as it’s been now, but wondering just how much more bullshit will have to happen before anything ever occurs. Because November might be too late for this country, and before we know it, America will have a million casualties due to coronavirus, while the rest of the entire fucking planet won’t even come close to that, combined.

I’ve made a lot of analogies to books and movies and television over the last few weeks to describe the state of the nation, but another one came into mind last night: The Man in the High Castle, by Philip K. Dick.  Originally a book, turned into a television series, but basically, America is taken over by the Axis of Evil.  Now without expounding on that much, all I have to really ask is that would America actually be worse off under German/Japanese rule than it is now?

Not a sermon, just a thought.  But sad that we’ve gotten to the point where such a question even comes to fruition.

When politics actually hit home

Often times, no matter how much bitching and complaining we as ‘Muricans do about politics, when the day is over, not a lot really happens.  A penny tax doesn’t mean people are unable to feed themselves, and when the government talks about some convoluted bill or law that passes, most of the time very little noticeable things actually occur.  Maybe it’s naïve and insular for me to make such blanket statements, but at least in my little world, the things that happen as the result of stalling and bickering in Washington seldom really feel like they affect life on the home front.

In a prior post, I made a remark about how at no point in the history of my life, has it ever felt so physically tangible, the feeling of disappointment and letdown happening to the American people of the United States until more recently.  As stated, no matter how much I may disagree or not like something that’s now law, a lot of the time it doesn’t really impact the daily living of my life or my family.

Until now.

My wife is a teacher.  My child is immunocompromised.  I’ll just state those facts, and if you understand why this is a major problem today maybe you’ll continue reading.  If not, well go fuck off.

Continue reading “When politics actually hit home” →

Does anyone else feel the Washington Redskins are deflecting from bigger issues?

The skinny: amidst pressure from large corporate sponsors who have likely been pressured themselves by myriads of influences, the Washington Redskins have acquiesced to “thoroughly reviewing” the name of the franchise AKA changing the name may actually be happening after multiple decades

Pretty much my entire life after realizing that I was someone who enjoyed sports, the Washington Redskins have been under fire for their name.  In all fairness, “Redskins” is probably the most offensive of names out in professional sports that borrow from Native American culture, because it’s basically the equivalent of if there were a team named after Africans called “Blackskins.”

But for all intents and purposes, the Redskins were the closest thing in my life I’d ever have to a home team, and when I was really started to develop interests in sports, the Washington Redskins were a powerhouse and were on the cusp of winning the 1992 Super Bowl.  Fewer things make it easy to become a fan than immediate success, and seeing the Redskins topple the Buffalo Bills for a championship made it really easy to become a Redskins fan.

Continue reading “Does anyone else feel the Washington Redskins are deflecting from bigger issues?” →