It’s election night in Georgia, and as fate would have it, the fate of the United States Senate rests on the results of what happens here, as the two Senate seats that will either solidify the Republicans’ control, or wrest power away from that gross old shithead that always looks like he’s shit his pants, Mitch McConnell, as the tie-breaker would permanently be held by vice president Kamala Harris.
But on a more base level, a level that is more relatable and understandable by all people, whether they’re American or not, tonight’s election is basically going to determine whether Americans would be eligible to getting $2,000 of coronavirus stimulus relief (Democratic win), or if the status quo of old white men denying all in order to deny black people and other minorities from getting any sort of financial relief (Republican).
Who really knows what’s going to happen. When the polls closed, blue shot out to the lead from early precincts reporting, but with over 2,000 in the state, such points would be meaningless as all the racist hicks and rednecks who vote auto-red are tabulated in, and at the time I’m writing this, both Warnock and Ossoff’s leads have been slashed heavily, and we’re sitting on the tightrope margin that pundits originally predicted. It’s anyone’s game at this point, and my only hope really is that more Georgians want a shot at $2,000 a head, to where blue remains in striking distance when all the precincts are called, and that the mail-in ballots that won the presidential election in November, can do the same thing over the next week or two as they’re counted last.
The thing is, red is still in the driver’s seat, as blue has to go 2/2 with victories for both Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff, while red only needs just one of Kelly Loeffler or David Purdue to win in order for the Senate to maintain their majority. But I was pessimistically fatalistic about the presidential election and was pleasantly relieved, and like most Americans who would like the chance at $2,000 smackeroos, I’d much rather see blue prevail over two money-laundering mannequins.
Regardless, election night isn’t what prompted tonight’s brog drivel, but it is worth mentioning, because basically the fate of America really does fall into the prickly hands of Georgians.
What did prompt me to start writing tonight was this particularly amusing article about how jobber former-president baked potato has decided that idiot Georgia bubba governor Yosemite Sam, cost him the election, and has vowed to campaign against him come 2022, when he would be up for re-election.
Fewer things are more entertaining to me when two assholes begin beefing with each other. It’s like the vast majority of the people I associate with don’t like the baked potato, and the vast majority of those people who are also Georgians also don’t like Yosemite Sam. I wish I could say that they turned on each other, but the reality is that baked potato went all Civilization Gandhi on Bubba, and Bubba is cowering like he has done countless times at this point, and is desperately looking for a hiding place and strawman.
But make no mistake, it really is a tale of two assholes having beef, and it makes me giddy with chaotic joy to see the baked potato, in spite of being relatively powerless, still scaring the fuck out of Bubba Kemp and making him cower like the sopping pussy everyone already knew he was.
Everything about this is golden if you’re against both of these shitheads, because the behavior of the baked potato is classic juvenile temper tantrum, and blaming others for their own ineptitude, while Bubba leaned so hard and kissed the ring in order to get elected in the first place, and is rendered speechless and hiding and hoping it would go away but is failing miserably.
I really can’t wait for 2022 to come around to see if the baked potato will hold true to his word, and wonder if his word will have any power when he’s no longer the president in the first place. And whether or not Georgians allegiances will be for an ex-politician, or for the incumbent Governor of the state.
But basically, the simple fact that Bubba will be under such scrutiny and in the crosshairs of a jilted idiot, it raises the chances that the Republican party will be a disorganized toilet bowl full of turds and the flush is broken, while Stacey Abrams will undoubtedly be taking a second shot at office, and with opposition that can’t get their shit together, have a legitimate chance at winning, and keeping the blue wave going.
Either way, I love every part of the narrative of baked potato being mad at Bubba, because in the end, the losers stand a better chance at losing for real, and Georgia’s fate could actually be headed in a positive direction, for a fuckin’ change.
