Never underestimate the Braves’ ability to Barves

Unsurprising: MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred already considering tweaking new playoff format, primarily reseeding the field prior to the divisional series rounds in response to all of the top teams getting bounced

It really comes as no shock that this is happening, considering the fact that the 100+ win Braves, Dodgers and Orioles all flamed out in spectacularly unspectacular fashion in the divisional round, and when the day is over, baseball is still a business and as satisfying as it may be to a sports purist that the #5 seed Rangers and #6 seed Diamondbacks play for the World Series, it is not really best for business that the teams with the best records in the game aren’t.

Frankly, I don’t think there needs to be any tweaking to the current format.  I do like that there are two more teams allowed in the field, because I don’t really know why it’s falling on its face so hard in baseball when just about every other sport that runs tournaments loves Cinderella stories of underdog teams overcoming the odds and climbing the mountain.

It’s aberrational that all three of the teams that won 100+ games all were bounced in the divisional series, but the fact of the matter is that all of them got dropped like Demon vs. Sting because their opponents all found the Pit Fighter power pill and got hot at the precise right moment, and rode that momentum all the way to paydirt.  And that’s just it when it comes to any sort of playoff format in any sport, prior records be damned, the most dangerous team in the field are the one(s) who get hot and ride the flames, regardless of whom their opponents might be.

In fact, I don’t want MLB to change the current format and do reseeding, because it’s never, ever going to change the fact that the Braves will always turn into the Barves once the NLDS starts, and in year like this one, it would just have put the Braves into a position for greater embarrassment, because they would have been dropped by the 84-win Diamondbacks instead of the 90-win Phillies, and short of being underdogs in future seasons, this is going to be the case until the end of time because I ain’t having any more kids and will be able to bless them with baby luck anymore.

If there should be any tweaks to the playoff format, it should be that the lower seeds are the ones whom should be given byes, seeing as how the only seemingly absolute trend in baseball is that teams that “enjoy” the “advantage” of being able to rest a few extra days, all get cold and soft and then get bounced by the lower seed teams who have had some time to warm up and get battle-tested.

Like, it seems absolutely asinine that the Braves, Dodgers and Orioles should have to play more games, but in a sport as sometimes bonkers as baseball, it probably would’ve guaranteed that we would’ve had an Eastbound & Down World Series against Atlanta and Baltimore.  They’d all be riding waves of momentum from the regular season, the Braves would’ve stomped the Diamondbacks, the Dodgers would have eaten the Marlins, the O’s would have trounced the Blue Jays, and then they would’ve gone into the division series where the #3 and #4 seeds would have had to have waited, and then the Braves would’ve for sure annihilated the Phillies instead, while the Dodgers would’ve made quick work of the Brewers and the O’s would’ve dropped the Rays.

Until MLB realizes that byes aren’t really as good in baseball as they are in other sports, the playoff systems they trot out, will all be problematic.  Except for the Braves, because no matter what kind of format they run, when the playoffs begin, absolutely nothing short of me having kids, seems capable of preventing them from becoming the Barves once they postseason begins.

An unprecedented level of ownage just went legendary

The bar has been set: Marcus Jordan, son of Michael Jordan, wants dad to be his best man when he gets married . . . to Scottie Pippen’s ex-wife

About a year ago it came out that Scottie Pippen’s ex-wife was in a relationship with Marcus Jordan, the son of the greatest NBA player of all time, Michael Jordan.  I just figured ol’ Larsa was doing so a cerebrally petty means of attacking her ex, ol’ Stiffin’ Pippen, because they seemed to have had a fairly tumultuous and ugly public divorce. 

After all, there’s rebounding with a younger man, and then there’s rebounding with a younger man who also happens to be the son of your greatest frienemy/rival/man who overshadowed you your whole career/life, and considering all the nastiness that showed during their divorce, it didn’t seem like such a stretch that a gal like Larsa would do such a thing for no other reason.

Now whether it was a one-night stand gone wrong, a touching tale of true love to grow out of the pile of dog shit, or an orchestrated plot to try and make Scottie Pippen have sleep problems for the next decade, the relationship has evolved, and now Marcus and Larsa are apparently engaged and are planning to get married; and Marcus wants his dad, to the best man at his wedding.

Back when I found out about Marcus and Larsa’s relationship, I called it an unprecedented level of ownage, which still stands, but with them getting married, and the desire to have MJ as the best man, which he will more than likely do, that unprecedented level of ownage is about to become legendary.  A new lofty level of owange that will have a hard time ever being matched, much less surpassed.  One where even Patrick Ewing of all people would sit back and go, “damn, Scottie about to get owned.

Not only did Larsa dump Scottie’s ass, she held onto his name because obviously she’s nothing without it, so that’s getting owned; she keeps the notoriety of being a Pippen without having to put up with Scottie’s bullshit and most likely the constant embarrassment of him being Stiffin’ Pippen whenever they went out to eat.  Then she hooks up with a younger man, and that younger man happens to be Marcus Jordan, the son of Michael Jordan, whom Scottie hasn’t been shy about turning full heel on over the last few years, and letting his true green-eyed monster rear its ugly head, so that’s getting owned to the unprecedented level.

But now they’re getting married, and if MJ has any semblance of knowledge of what it takes to be a good dad, he will undoubtedly be his best man, and when they undoubtedly and inevitably and have exorbitant wedding photos, it’s going to be Scottie’s ex-wife, with a younger man, AND Michael Jordan all looking at the camera and smiling, looking right back at Scottie.

It’s no secret how much MJ loves winning and owning others, and this undoubtedly counts as a severe and massive W for MJ, at the expense of Scottie.  And I’m not sure what would be sweeter, between all of this being basically payback for all of the bullshit Scottie had spouted in the media about MJ and their relationship, or the fact that throughout this whole journey, MJ really didn’t actually lift a finger the whole time, letting his son do all of the legwork, and being able to usurp the credit for the ownage solely by being Marcus’s dad.

Either way, at this point, I think it’s safe to say that Patrick Ewing can finally hand over the massively burdensome torch of being MJ’s biggest bitch over to Scottie Pippen, because I have no earthly idea on how this level of ownage can ever be surpassed.

I don’t like admitting this

But Philadelphia is a better baseball town than Atlanta is.  Better than your town too, wherever my zero readers might be, unless it’s also Philadelphia.

After the Braves were unceremoniously bounced from the go-zillionth NLDS, once again by the Phillies, I got to thinking.  No, I’m hardly mad just disappointed whenever this happens, but the Braves will always be the Barves barring me having any more kids, which ain’t ever going to happen again, but I always think about why it is that the Braves just can’t stop transforming into the Barves, pretty much every single October throughout history, before by brain shuts down on baseball entirely until the following season.

I actually saw this outcome coming, because the way the Braves limped to the end of the season was pretty telling that they were in trouble once the playoffs began.  Immediately after winning the division, the team entirely went on vacation and got clobbered by the Marlins, dropped 2/3 to the Phillies and then ended the season on an L to the Nationals.  Max Fried and Charlie Morton went on the injured list, and it’s easy to say that the Braves were resting starters, but if you looked at the box scores, the starters were all playing starters’ innings for the bulk of the games after clinching.

I actually was a little optimistic when news came out that the Braves would be playing scrimmages against their minor leaguers during the Wild Card round, because it was evident that the first round layoff the Braves had last year dulled them once the Phillies came around, and they were proactive in trying to prevent that from happening again.  And I was hoping that allowing fans to come watch, would’ve been like in Ted Lasso when AFC Richmond opened their practices to the fans, and they grew and increased, and it helped create a stronger bond between players and fans, which propelled them to later success.

But when the Braves got dropped by the Phillies in a glorified bullpen game in the first game of the NLDS, the sinking feeling in my gut returned, and I just knew that the Braves were going to lose in four games; and not just in four, I knew the sequence that the Braves would win game two, but then lose the two games once the series moved to Philadelphia, because it was the same script from the year prior.  Once you’ve watched sports as much as I have, there are just patterns and feelings that make it easy to predict certain outcomes, and especially when it comes to the Braves, and their postseason success.  But believe me, as much as I love being right about sports, this prediction coming true does not bring joy.

This year though, my brain took a different route, and stopped thinking about why the Braves suck in October, but more pondering on why the Phillies are so good once again, once the playoffs began.  In fact, for those paying a modicum of attention throughout the season might’ve noticed, the Phillies were an outstanding team for the better part of the entire season, it’s just that the Braves were having a near-historically good season in their own right; but make no mistake, if not for the massive division lead that the Braves built in April and in June, the narrative of the season would’ve been way more interesting in September.

But it goes back to a storyline earlier in the season, where the Phillies’ shortstop Trea Turner was having a complete bomb of a season, and considering the fact that he had signed with the team to an 11-year deal worth $300 million, it looked like we were on the cusp of witnessing the newest edition to the endless list of bad contract free agent busts.

However, in a strange turn of events, there was a particular game where Phillies fans for one night, stopped acting like typical Phillies fans, and they did something collectively surprising and impressive; they cheered the fuck out of Trea Turner in the midst of his slump, and gave him a series of standing ovations every time he stepped to the plate.

Continue reading “I don’t like admitting this”

The work trip, fin

I also want to point out that I used AI regenerative fill to AI the people in the background the fuck out of this selfie

So I’m on the red-eye flight back to Atlanta now, and I’m telling myself to write something, before I go into zombie mode and watch Castlevania or the Mandalorian on my iPad, because once I start, I’ll probably until we touch down.

So Adobe MAX is now in the past, and I can say that it was a pretty good trip, overall. Adobe really put on a flashy and fairly informative conference, and from what I could hear from those who have been to prior years, it was run smoother and had fixed a lot of issues. 

Traveling with some work colleagues was enjoyable and I feel like we’ve gotten a little bit of opportunity to get to know each other a little bit better.  The hotel was nice, and I was the tryhard who brought some gym gear and managed to get in two maintenance workouts while out there.

Best of all, it was all covered by work, so all of my food and the airport transport are expensed, and they naturally picked up the tab on the show admission and the hotel.

Despite being there for some work purposes, I still made a point of carving out some me-time, in the form of wandering around the city and eating some abominations of Mexican food that the internet has been teasing me of their existence for the last year.  Of course, they fell into the parameters of my daily food per diem amount, which only sweetened the pot that I could expense things that I would’ve gladly paid for out of pocket to begin with.

First, I tracked down the quesarito-burrito that I first saw on some rando-Instagram reel that was fed to me for some reason despite being all the fuck away in DTLA.  The best part was going in there and explaining that I wanted something that wasn’t on the menu and that it was something I saw on the internet; and I had to show them their own reel to jog their memory, but it was good enough for them to get me the burrito I had been covering for months.

And it was basically everything I hoped it would be, a California-style burrito, but wrapped in a quesarito instead of an ordinary tortilla.  I could’ve finished it, but in doing so, I could’ve really derailed a large part of my trip, plus I was getting the meat sweats something fierce from just how rich it was, or maybe it was the Reaper sauce that added to it or maybe both, so I tapped when I was like 75% finished.

Next, came the trash can nachos that I had heard about, and became enamored with.  Ordinarily, I’d have tried to go there for dinner, but upon learning that being in DTLA, they operated at downtown hours, so I kind of had to pivot and hit them up for lunch instead.

They were located in what google called the fashion district, but seemed like a giant shopping district for quinceñeras or something.  Regardless, it took a little bit of walking around but I found the place in this quirky small food court loaded with nothing but Mexican and Asian foods.  Again, I had to ask for the trash can nachos as they’re not on the menu, and once again I felt like some secret agent or something asking for some illicit.

Ten minutes later, it was brought out to me in what looked like a coffee can.  Just like I had seen on the internet, the can was pulled up, and pouring out onto the plate was a mountain of chips, guacamole, beans, jalapeños, sauces, more chips, more cheese, and carne asada.  Naturally, it was as good as it looked, and much like with the quesarito-burrito, I opted to throw in the towel instead of forcing myself to finish it.

Between the two internet-found foods, I’m hard pressed to decide on what was better.  The quesarito-burrito is a true novelty item, but the nachos had some insane presentation value.  Frankly, nachos really should only be made and served trashcan style, and if I had to really pick one of the two, I think I’m going with the nachos.

But I suppose I should say something about the conference seeing as how it was what brought me out to the left coast in the first place; again, it was a fun show in the sense of production value, and shine and presentation that went into it.

Continue reading “The work trip, fin”

An introduction to One Piece, via Netflix

Despite the fact that there was probably a small overlap towards the tail end of my weeby, anime watching days and when One Piece was introduced to the world, I never saw a single episode, read any manga, or actually learned a single thing about the entire franchise.

In itself that’s kind of a hard thing to do, given my general involvement in the anime, convention and nerdy communities, but over the years, no matter how big the property got, I never learned a single thing about it.

I knew solely based on artwork it had to do with pirates and the main character appeared to be some doofy looking guy with real gangly limbs.  But other than that, I had absolutely zero knowledge of the stories or any inkling of what the plot could be about.

Honestly, I never thought about watching it when the live action dropped on Netflix, because I figured my lack of familiarity of the anime would lessen my enjoyment perhaps.  That, and at any given point I have like 62 other shows and movies on a list that is my backlog that I should be tackling first.

But then it came to my attention that one of the key actors of the show was portrayed by the son of the late great Sonny Chiba.  The Son of Chiba.  Apparently he goes by the name Makenyu or something, but there’s no hiding the fact that it is Sonny Chiba’s boy in this show.  Honestly, I didn’t know he had a son, but considering his age and the fact that Chiba is about the manliest man of the east in history it shouldn’t be any surprise.  Regardless, it was enough to pique my curiosity and the circumstances lined up to where I figured I’d give the live One Piece a shot.

And I have to say, it was a rather pleasant debut season.  The story is pretty single, and they do a good job of rotating in various antagonists and delving into each character’s backgrounds at a pace that doesn’t feel dragged out.

The characters are all mostly delightful in the sense that it’s like at any given point their weaknesses are covered by another’s strengths and everyone gets some time to shine.  Luffy’s optimism and positivity is infectious, and it’s fun watching the growth of the Straw Hat Pirates coming together.

Son of Chiba is a badass as Roronoa Zoro, and I appreciate that in spite of how strong he’s portrayed there’s a tremendous amount of growth still with his character, and frankly such could be said about all of them.  Netflix did a decent job of ordering a sampler season that accomplished everything from a storyline, character development and wrapping it all up fairly nicely to not leave it hanging.

Needless to say, I’m a fan of the property, and I look forward to a future season(s).  If I had more time in my life, I’d considering turning to clock back to 2002 and delving into the anime and all of the films the series was able to spawn.  But for what it’s worth, for someone who had absolutely zero knowledge of One Piece, I think the Netflix series does a good job of being able to create interest and make new fans.

Welp, I guess all of ‘Murica is just one giant FOOD SWAMP

I remembered when I first heard of the phrase “food desert” it entertained me a great deal because whomever coined the phrase really tried to compare blighted, impoverished areas to like, the Mojave or Sahara deserts, gigantic wastelands of sand and heat.  And it immediately brought to my mind a desert in an early Final Fantasy title and of course I made a post about it back then, complete with the corresponding Final Fantasy screen grab.

But basically, food deserts were communities that were statistically past a certain distance threshold to the nearest grocery store or market where fresh produce and other perishable goods could be purchased, as well as just food in general.  And being so far from such then makes them the equivalent to floundering in the desert without edible resources.

In other words, it was basically used to describe rural areas or ghettos, where grocery stores don’t want to build in, because there’s not nearly as much money to be made there, regardless of the demographics of those areas that are conveniently zeroed in on as reasons for such invention of terminology.

Anyway, just today I learned that a new term was invented at some point: food swamp.

Kind of along the same base as a food desert, but except that in spite of the difficulty in being able to procure fresh produce and perishable goods, they have an abundance of options when it comes to fast food, prepackaged garbage food and other unhealthy options.

The irony is that food swamps can be used to describe, basically the same conditions that make a food desert a food desert: remote areas and/or ghettos that have the access issues when it comes to being able to get fresh, healthy foods, but in a lot of cases, they’re areas where there’s also an abundance of shitty fast food options.

So despite the fact that new terminology has been invented, the places that they describe seem to have a tremendous overlap.  Funny how things work out like that.

But more importantly, it allows me to once again use old school Final Fantasy screen caps, to best describe the words being used, and like the subject of the post says, given the criteria of what makes a food swamp a food swamp, I guess it really could be said that pretty much most of ‘Murica, is just one giant fucking food swamp after all.

AEWShop be out of their GOT damn mind

  • Get email from shopAEW.com for some reason, I’ve never purchased anything from them before
  • Limited edition The Acclaimed-themed AEW World Trios Champions replica blets
  • Only TEN will be made
  • $5,000*

*actually $4,999

Most people know the story about how way back when, someone in marketing figured out that pricing things with a cent value of 99¢ often times subliminally tricked consumers into thinking something was cheaper than it really was, because like $1.99 was leaps and bounds cheaper than $2.00 was, solely based on the fact that all they saw was a leading $1 instead of a $2.

Yeah, I think when we’re dealing with the difference between four thousand and five thousand dollars, that single digit in the ones column really isn’t going to be fooling anyone.

But here we are, where AEW is now selling a replica blet that is, for all intents and purposes, the most expensive replica blet on the market.  Higher than WWE’s Elite series of replica blets (~$2,000 USD), and higher than New Japan’s replica blets ($2,500-3,400 USD), and not even close, butting up against $5,000 in comparison to others.

Allegedly, the old NWA/WCW World Heavyweight Championship blet that was synonymous with Ric Flair back in the olden days, was originally estimated to be $8,000-10,000 depending on whom you asked, and when the NWA refused to give Ric Flair back a collateral of $10,000 at one point, he took the blet with him, and showed up to WWF television with a rival promotion’s blet.

The point of bringing that up is the fact that an actual original championship blet, albeit in 1991 dollars, was closer to the asking price of AEW’s tribute Trios blet, than any other blet replica available in marketspace.

I know that the Acclaimed are pretty over right now, but the fact of the matter is that in the grand spectrum of the wrestling industry, they still haven’t proven jack shit, to be worthy of getting a tribute blet, much less one with so much exclusivity, that they might not actually move all ten of them but who am I kidding, AEW tribe marks are so ryde or die that they’re probably already all ten accounted for by the time I’m done with this post.

Like, WWE has a shitload of tribute blets out there, but they’re all for guys that are legitimate legends of the industry.  AEW giving a tribute blet to the Acclaimed would be like the WWE realizing the team of Al Snow and Steve Blackman were over at one point, and making a tribute tag blet for Team HeadCheese.

The Acclaimed are a pretty okay team, and they’re a good example of how actual wrestling skills aren’t as important when you have charisma and great stage presence.  I’d say Anthony Bowens is a 7 in the ring, and Max Caster is a 6 at best, but the two of them together have a tremendous amount of charisma and performance chops, and they know how to engage a crowd.  But when push comes to shove, they’re not even the best tag team in the company by a long shot, and from a promotion that values tag team wrestling as AEW does, they’ve got a long way to catching up with the Young Bucks, FTR, and Lucha Bros among others.

And let’s not forget the fact that they’re carrying around Billy Gunn, whom it seemed like a pretty slapped together union at first, but to their credit and willingness to run with whatever is thrown their way, they’ve made it work.  Obviously, Billy Gunn is in incredible shape and can still go despite being 59 years old, but the guy is mostly a legend solely by association with stronger performers. 

But in storyline, he was shunned and assaulted by his own sons, and in two seconds afterward, he was completely revitalized and renewed by putting his fingers into scissors and joining hands with a rap group team; seems a bit convoluted and silly, but then again, this is AEW we’re talking about.

Back to the blets though, we’re living in a world where a replica blet that is held in part by Billy Gunn, is the most expensive replica in the entire industry.  And it’s not even real gold like the IWGP replicas sold in limited quantities by NJPW; as absurd as it would be to drop 2.5-3.5K on one of those, they’re at least made from real 24 carat gold, and might actually appreciate in value, aside from the fact that some of the greatest wrestlers in history have held it.

My god man, I’m worked up over something so silly and absurd and I really need to stop.  AEW be out of their got-mind with this one.