Day: September 4, 2026

I wish I could be a police officer for one working day, vol. 2

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I had this thought whilst driving into the office, but then I couldn’t help but wonder if I had written about it before.  It definitely sounded like a topic or a title that I would’ve used before, and lo and behold, it turns out that my instincts were correct, and nearly thirteen years to the day, I did in fact write about how I wished that I could be a cop, for just a single day.

Well, that clearly hasn’t changed, except the impetus for this iteration of wanting to be a cop for a day isn’t so much about HOV violators and turn lane-cutters, as much as it was spurned on by the fact that I drive past multiple schools on my commute to the office now and I’m amazed at how many people completely disregard school zone speed limits, as well as how often I see people whipping U-turns in clearly marked No U-turn intersections with impunity, and I would like to see such circumstances be rectified, even if I had to fantasize about doing it myself.

So there’s not really much else to elaborate on.  I pass multiple schools on my way to and from the office, and depending on the time in which I walk out the door, I might hit one of them, or I might hit both of them, but the only times in which I hit neither of them is when I’m late.

As a law-abiding citizen, and a parent, I slow my ass down to the 25 mph limit, sometimes 27 when I’m feeling anxious about the time, like a reckless daredevil, but it chaps my ass when in my rear view mirror, I see a car(s) in the adjacent lane closing the gap between us, sometimes overtaking me, and/or choads who tailgate me as if I’m choosing to adhere to the law to spite them, before they whip around me, in the middle of a school zone.

Whenever these scenarios occur, the first thing my mind is screaming is, where the fuck are the police, to pull over and ticket these cocksuckers and get some easy money out of it?  It’s evident that people speed and ignore the limit because they’ve been able to get away with it for so long, and I know America hates Flock cameras and any sort of unmanned surveillance, but the two schools in my county in which I pass, has neither school zone cameras or any sort of law enforcement actively monitoring the school zones, and it’s aggravating to me that so many people shit on the law and get away with it so frequently.

Next, right at the turn into my office, is a double lane left turn, with a clearly marked no U-turn sign at it.  I always take the inside turn lane, because unlike 75% of the people turning into my office park, I don’t need to make the immediate right that causes occasional road rage incidents, and I’d rather take the scenic route and get to the same destination 20 seconds later, without having to contest and go over some gnarly speed bumps in the process.

However, in spite of the no U-turn sign, pretty much every single morning, at least one car whips the U-ey anyway, and naturally there’s no recourse for it.  An officer would have multiple tickets from this intersection alone, because there’s a convenient parking lot at the corner of this intersection where it would be easy to sit in wait and just start issuing tickets, but again, none are ever around, and often times I almost rear-end some U-turning asshole, because they have to stamp their brakes extra hard in preparation for an illegal U, instead of just cruising into a left turn entry.

So once again, this is where I wish I could be a cop for a day, and seeing as how Zootopia didn’t released until three years after my first volume of this topic, I would 2,000% be just like Judy Hopps, and issue 200 tickets before noon if I were.  I would just take my little meter maid cart doing circuits in the loop I see in my head, where I’d go bust a school zone speeder, go ticket an illegal U-turner, back to the school zone, another ticket, then back to the no U-turn intersection, another ticket, and so on and so on.

I don’t want to deal with any serious business police work.  No detective work, no investigating violent crimes.  Just actual, meter maid work, being the scum-sucking cop accused of generating revenue for the county.  That’s what I want to do, and troll the roads with the law, while creating teachable moments all across the county.

A New Level of disappointment

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

First of all, I’m a big fan of Austin Creed and Kofi, formerly known as Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston and The New Day.  They are incredible workers, seem like amazingly positive personalities, and in the few lucky interactions I’ve had with Creed at past Dragon-cons, he’s always been chill.

When the WWE basically forced them to quit, I was definitely and immediately on the side of Creed and Kofi, because they were clearly being disrespected, insulted, and getting the rawest of deals.  And I use the accusation that they were forced to quit, because that’s precisely what a company is trying to do to an employee(s) when they demand that they take a paycut allegedly between 50-75%, lest they be released from their contracts and it makes me wonder why the fuck contracts exist if they can be treated like at-will employment, and it continues to feed my general resentment of the whole progression of TKO owning the WWE and how in spite of his horrific history, thinking Vince McMahon still had his superior attributes when it came to running a professional wrestling promotion.

Obviously, everyone knew that they were far from finished as far as their careers were concerned, and that it was not an if, but when, they were going to migrate over to AEW.  There was never any question, no hypothetical going to Japan for a shake, even though Austin Creed is a giant nerdy weeb-type who would probably love it out there, no pulling a Karrion Kross or Matt Cardona and going the route of indies, in case the E would ever want to scoop them back up on a moment’s notice.  They were going to end up in AEW, and the only question was, when?

Well when had arrived, and they were unveiled as Swerve Strickland’s (not-so) mystery partners at their All-In show in London, and as is often times the case for most former E talent who make a splashy arrival in AEW, they immediately were given gold, in the form of winning the AEW Trios Championship.

As is often times the case, I do think the formula is a little overused, trite and a little eye-roll-ey, but at the same time I know these guys are human beings and their livelihoods are partially tied to their on-screen successes, so I’m still happy that they’re given some shots of Nitro upon arrival.

But in spite of my general love for the performers, I can’t help but feel disappointment in the package that they are presented as in AEW, and I’m very curious to know which party had the lion’s share of responsibility for going in the direction they went, between Creed & Kofi and Tony Khan.

“The New Level,” just makes me kind of cringe and disappointment face meme just reading it.  It seems like really low-hanging fruit to swap out a word in their old name, but otherwise keep the general presentation and the brand exactly as their prior iteration.

See, this is why I want to know who was in the driver’s seat when it came to their AEW branding, because it will help me gauge how much I feel like I can criticize, because if this were all Creed and Kofi’s doing, I just feel not mad just disappointed, but if it were primarily at the behest of Tony Khan, it’s I knew it, that fucking money mark dork.

Regardless though, as much AEW wants to (constantly) proclaim that they’re an alternative to the WWE, they sure lean on WWE property when it comes to often times not really changing much about the presentations of former E talents that make the switch.  I get that there’s a small air of deception at trying to hook the less-educated fans that don’t really know the differences in promotions as much as they know of the existence of specific talents, but in this day and age, pro-wrestling fandom is so dedicated by those who follow it, that such a notion doesn’t seem necessary anymore.

I feel as if any time a worker has the opportunity to jump ship, they also have the opportunity to really repackage and restart themselves as performers, and regardless of if it’s AEW to WWE or WWE to AEW, it always seems like a disappointment when they basically end up being the same character, but just under a different name.

Hey, I can (often) be wrong too and sometimes it just works, but there are plenty of characters out there where some degree of change is necessary, it doesn’t happen, and then the same creative walls that handcuffed them in one promotion, just carries over to their new home.

But getting back to The New Level, the fact that such potential change was limited to a single fucking word seems kind of lazy in my opinion, and I feel like someone could have done better, creatively.  Like, if the name weren’t already taken by an eSports franchise, something like Unicorns of Love is just so campy and extra, that I feel like Creed and Kofi could really have some fun with a name like that or similar.  Plus, it keeps the merchandising vein of unicorn shit open to them, and lord knows just how much useless unicorn shit they moved under the E banner.

At the end of the day, it’s just a name, but AEW really relies hard on the grand entrances of incoming talent, because lord knows they have had a tendency to forget about old toys when shiny new ones become available, and although I don’t imagine a lot of former WWE guys mind occasionally getting forgotten in catering, while they enjoy a lesser workload and get paid, some of them never get back on television, save for the occasional too-many-men tag team match.

But as fans of Austin Creed and Kofi the human beings, I want better for them, because I want them to enjoy all the successes they are deserving of, and I look forward to their inevitable clashes against the Young Bucks and Creed’s inevitable showdown with Kenny Omega.