A microcosm of societal problems

My subdivision is an interesting representation of what I think is reflective of the United States these days.  There is seemingly a pretty divided line that separates those residents whom are either original owners of their properties, or are owners who have lived here for 25+ years, and then are all the people who are very much of the next generation of homeowners, like my household, and have lived in the neighborhood for anywhere from 8-9 or fewer years.

Unsurprising, there exists some very stark correlations to how they lean politically, easily represented by the political signs that are proudly propped up on the yards of many homeowners, and as we inch closer to the merciful November 5th election date, the intensity in which these wastes of resources are popping up, and it’s evident that it’s not so much how much they actually support these crooked politicians as much as they are wanting to subtly tell their neighbors that they oppose their choice in political affiliation.

But at the root of all these political pissing contest participants, are still human beings, human beings with feelings, human beings with care, human beings with intentions, and human beings who probably just want to exist in peace without too much bullshit in their lives.

One of my best friends and I, we couldn’t possibly exist on opposite sides of the spectrums when it comes to political beliefs.  They support a candidate, I don’t care too much about politics but I don’t really care for that person because of all the flagrantly racist and classist rhetoric that has been demonstrated.  But my friend and I, we don’t talk about politics, at all.  I don’t know if they even know that I disagree with their political choice, and frankly one of my biggest dreads is if one day they realize it and decide to sever our friendship because of it.

Regardless, I hold this person in the highest regard, we chat on a near daily basis and I’d take a bullet for them.  I like to think they feel similarly for me; because behind politics, we’re still human beings.

I took my kids trick or treating on Halloween, because that’s what we do as parents, and this was actually the first year that I took both girls out to trick or treat, and let them stay out past their bed times and be wandering around at night.  My neighborhood is pretty awesome when it comes to trick or treating, and this was one of the things I always envisioned being in the future when I had moved into it, and it was pleasant to go around and watch my kids have fun and take part in a timeless tradition.  And all through the neighborhood were all sorts of other families and groups consisting of my neighbors, young and old doing the same thing; it was fun knowing that we were in a community full of kids that my kids will someday play with, go to school with, and grow up with.

On our return route, there was a home with an orange guy sign in their yard.  Sitting out on their front stoop was the guy that lived there; older, white, male, sitting in lawn chair, carrying a bucket full of candy for kids, sitting between two lit jack-o-lanterns.  Very evident that he was participating in giving out candy for the kids.

A group, consisting of two, maybe three households and all their kids, I watched as the kids slowed down and looked up at the home with the orange guy sign in the yard; and then proceeded to keep on walking, and going to the following house, that had no sign in front.  None of the parents reacted, or encouraged the kids to go on and get free candy and ignore the sign up front.

Needless to say, when mythical wife and I approached the house, I encouraged my girls to go up the driveway, reminded them to say trick-or-treat and thank you, and hollered a thank you to the man myself, for being kind enough to be participating and giving candy to my kids.  He was kind to my children, and I was grateful for his positive interaction with my kids.

I might not agree with his politics, but at the root of it, he’s still a human being, and if he was being human enough to participate in a timeless tradition, then I would be human enough to send my children over to him and be gracious and polite and make him feel included.

I’m not saying I’m better than my neighbors or anyone else by my choice of actions or even writing about this scenario, but I do think that this was a microcosm of the divide in population that is plaguing America.  Too many are making politics personal, and I can’t say that I blame anyone for becoming jaded, lord knows I am too, but there are just times in which it’s really easy to set politics aside and just being fucking normal people to one another.

That being said, there was one house that I avoided while trick-or-treating, as did pretty much everyone else did as well.  The one that had a whole army of signs on their lawn, demonstrating a level of fanaticism that is outright scary obsessive, and raises questions to where they were on January 6, 2021.  But politics aside, they’re also a household that just one of those crabby neighbors who goes out of their way to be as unwelcoming as possible, and had no lights on, no pumpkins or any décor that wasn’t orange in the holiday sense.

People like those, are kind of a lost cause, and them even not wanting to be nice to the kids of the community, makes it easy to acquiesce their desire to be isolated.

I wish I could be CEO of my company for just a year

Not that I want to make yet another post talking about work, it’s just that this is something that’s been sitting on my mind a lot lately and falls into the category of if I don’t write it out now, it’ll never getting written out and I think this has legs enough to be worth a post.

But “culture” has been the overarching thing going on with the company I work for, and I do feel that we’re at a little bit of a rough patch as far as everyday operations are going.  Things aren’t the worst that I’ve ever had to deal with in my career, but they’re far away from being a place that doesn’t feel more than a means to an end type of job.

This year, my workplace has gotten a little caught up and fixated on their “scores,” which is how the company is perceived by its own employees, taken by a third-party company.  Apparently, the scores this year have been some of the worst ever, to the degree where many people above or not adjacent to my paygrade are seemingly constantly in the works to figure out ways to improve morale, employee satisfaction and potentially improve their scores the next time survey time rolls around.

Obviously, one of the first things that comes to mind is, where the fuck are all these people getting time to fixate on stuff like this, when there are business objectives and tasks that could be done alternatively?  But I digress, all this score analysis has resulted in a whole lot of aggravating outcomes, which feels like when a couple is having issues, and where one party is trying too hard to make things better that they actually are making things worse.  That’s pretty accurate to how it feels like at my workplace currently.

Recently, we had an event pop up called “Stress Break at the Park” which ordinarily would make me roll my eyes at the forced fraternization, but the park selected was actually near my home, and would’ve been a welcome interruption to daily Office Space to be able to have a much shorter trip home.  However, just the other day, an amendment went out, and suddenly Stress Break was no longer four hours long, but one, and it was no longer at the park near my house, but instead the atrium of the office.

The ironic laughter was copious among the jaded of my team.

Anyway, I could write a NaNoWriMo about some of the more inane bullshit that occurs at work, like most people probably could about their respective jobs, but I’ll try my best to cut to the chase and get back to the title of this post.

We had a meeting, where all hands on deck were tasked with spitballing ideas to improving business, profits, engagement and other metrics that big companies tend to want to see heading in an upward trajectory.  I remember making some suggestions that I thought were good and viable, but when the day is over, I’m so far removed from the plateau to where actual decisions could be made that when the meeting ended, everything seemed for naught.  However, I believe in a lot of the ideas that I have, and this is where I wished that I could just be the CEO of the company for just a year, so I could push through some of my ideas and put them really to the test to see if they would shake out for a company like ours.

Primarily, most of my ideas revolve around dropping prices across the board, and giving shit away.  There’s been so much evidence in the world of commerce that lowering costs to consumers typically equate to consumers spending more, and big bad Target just this past year recorded considerable sales growth on account of lowering prices to consumers.

When you look at some of the most successful apps out there, they thrive on microtransactions, because most everyone can afford to part with a few bucks here and there, as opposed to targeting the most financially privileged and expect nothing but home runs from every transaction.

One of my favorite stories in business is Sega, when they created Sonic the Hedgehog, instead of charging consumers for their answer to Super Mario, they basically gave the game away.  It helped usher in an entire generation into purchasing Sega Geneses, and lightning struck twice when they released Sonic 2, and had it be the pack-in for later consoles.

That’s the kind of general mentality I’d love for my company to do, is not be afraid to give shit away for free, to the right recipients.  Partner up with other Atlanta-based companies or organizations and get their name out there and collaborate.  Donate product to be used for their offices or places of business, in exchange for content and sponsorship.

Partner up with charitable organizations and donate products to build relationships, create positive PR and press, and get the company’s name out there to be associated with charity, good will and doing well for others.

Sure, there would be a big up-front cost to give away product and labor, but I just believe that there’s enough evidence out in the world of business that proves that those companies who have been unafraid to give shit away, have managed to prosper and flourish in the long game.

Frankly, in the sterile, copy what everyone else is doing world of business, I would just love to take the reigns of a company like the one I work for, and love to try and shake shit up and see if I could rock the boat and succeed and thrive using ideas of my own that I don’t have to push through and climb the ladder with.

One can dream.  I have little desire to actually be in the role of a CEO, I’m someone who needs to work, and being a figurehead and a fall guy doesn’t seem like much of a job to me, but one can still dream about wanting to make change.

Things White People Like: Not showering after working out

In all my years that I’ve been going to gyms, this is something that I can’t say that I’ve really paid attention to until more recently.  Maybe it’s because my current gym is very small and has a very small sample size to analyze, but it’s through this observational process do patterns begin to emerge, and lead to me being able to spout off bullshit brog posts like this one.

But as the title of this post reads, I have observed a disturbing trend that has occurred enough for me to widely brush stroke the statement that white people don’t shower after working out.

Once or twice, sure, maybe we’re short on time, maybe something has come up.  A meeting you’re cutting too close to, or the workout had been underestimated and time is no longer on our side.  But I’m witnessing the same people with regularity, who work out, and vanish into the locker room only to emerge just minutes later, with not nearly enough time to make believable that any sort of bathing had occurred.

Look, I’m not a complete psycho who’s following every white guy into the locker room after their workout, but I know from my own experience with expedient showers, that even when trying to be quick and timely as possible, I still need like 10-15 minutes in the locker room to shower, dress, groom before I’m ready to go back to the office.

These Ben Afflecks are in and out of the locker room in under 5-7 minutes in most cases, and the laws of physics are saying that these motherfuckers ain’t showering, full stop.

And it’s always white guys.  Much like myself, all the black men who also work out at my gym, they always shower after working out.  It doesn’t matter if they’re doing weights, or spending any amount of time on a cardio machine, if they exercise, they’re showering.  It’s only the white guys where it’s more of a surprise to see one actually taking time to bathe and clean themselves after a workout than not.

The thing is too, a lot of these guys I’m witnessing on a regular basis who don’t shower, it’s not like they’re doing some wimpy pussy workouts where they don’t build up a sweat or put themselves into situations where they should probably consider cleaning themselves up for the courtesy of the people they’ll spend the next half of the working day in close proximity to.  Lots of these guys are doing cardio and building up a considerable amount of sweat and perspiration, the chief ingredient when it comes to generating BO.

And then they finish their workouts, get back into their white guy uniforms and hop on the elevator to get straight back to the office.  This kind of lack of regard for the olfactory comfort of others is equal parts selfish, arrogant, disgusting and just plain dickish.

My brain can’t wrap itself around the idea of not showering after a workout.  The shower is practically the best part of the workout, the reward for taxing the body and now we can cleanse ourselves of all the sweat and strain of exercise.  I love the feeling of being clean, and especially in the workplace where feelings of positivity and physical pleasure are often being worked against, why would I deny myself something that I could realistically indulge in?

White people, man.  I just don’t understand these motherfuckers sometimes.  For as much as they think they own the entire planet, they sure conduct themselves in some truly mind-boggling, third-world manners.  I feel very fortunate that of all the white guys that I’ve seen not showering after sweaty workouts, that I don’t have to conduct any business with them; I just know that if I saw them in the actual office, I would just know that they probably reeked of varying degrees of BO, and I wouldn’t be able to hide the displeasure on my face, and nobody wins when unpleasant interactions occur.

Who would have guessed a business geared almost entirely to white guys would struggle?

Sauce: Topgolf to be spun off, out of Callaway’s portfolio, owned

I don’t really know why, but hearing about the general suffering and decline of Topgolf makes me happy.  I don’t really like or care for golf, and I’ve been to a Topgolf like twice; primarily because they were work team outings, and the pressure for the optics of being present outweighed my general ambivalence for golf, plus there was free food and drink, and it was on company time, so it beat being at work, working, but for the most part, I wasn’t impressed at all, and was just as happy to leave (early) as I was getting to imbibe on company-paid comestibles.

But really, I have no stake in Topgolf, and yet it still makes me feel smug satisfaction at hearing about their company’s struggles, bad enough to where Callaway the golf company, has expressed their intent to effectively boot them out of their portfolio, and leave them hanging as a standalone company, as opposed to being part of their family.  Frankly, I didn’t know Callaway was big enough of a company to have a portfolio beyond golf clubs and apparel, but seeing as how 60% of the United States is white, I guess it shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.

I guess it’s because at the very root of things, I see Topgolf as a wholly unnecessary thing that the world doesn’t need, as well as tremendous wastes of space.  I mean seriously, in the space of any Topgolf could be an entire subdivision of single-family homes.  A moderately aesthetically pleasing condominium along with some small businesses and restaurants.  Pretty much anything is more societally efficient than some gaudy monuments to the whitest activity in history than a giant ass field, with some 250 ft. poles and nets for people to whack golf balls around on.

Seeing a Topgolf anywhere tells me everything I need to know about a specific region, and typically wherever there’s a Topgolf, I generally know that the surrounding area is going to be a really kind of douchey, overly-white people vibe, and I probably wouldn’t enjoy myself at any surrounding restaurants or businesses within a few mile radius.

Needless to say, it brings me smug satisfaction to hear that they’re not doing as financially well as their investors hope they would be doing, because what a surprise, a business that primarily caters to a really niche, predominantly white community, would inevitably begin to decline once people realized how stupid it was to whack golf balls all day long, and there being little room for business evolution or diversity in services, other than overpriced food and booze.

I’m hoping for the day in which I’ll drive through the City of Atlanta again, and the Topgolf that’s in Upper West Midtown is closed down, and probably replaced with a CubeSmart.  I don’t like CubeSmarts either, but frankly in a tale of two evils, they can at least be serviceable and useful to people of all walks of life, and not be just some niche douchey white guy thing like Topgolfs are.

Things White People Like: the new Ford Broncos

The funny thing about Things White People Like is that it’s rarely like a gradual thing.  It’s always, you wake up one morning, and then suddenly white people all over the place are doing/having/partaking in the exact same thing.  Building black and white homes, falling head over heels in love with Major League Soccer, embracing Korean food, etc, etc.

It’s almost like there’s a gigantic group chat for nothing but white people, and they come to consensuses on what things they decide to declare “theirs” and the following day, every single one of them embarks on claiming it, before any other dirty non-white demographic can get their grubby hands on it.

But let’s talk about the new Ford Bronco; and this isn’t the first time I’ve written about the Ford Bronco and in this identical context, but it’s just because it seems like White People have hit another gear in Liking this Thing that it warrants another posting.

Also, I know the car has been out for a while, so it’s not really new anymore per say, but the thing is I call it such out of a lack of wanting to refer to it by its chassis or model year because that would require looking things up and I don’t care about white people enough to want to exert such effort.  But also because by calling it the new Ford Bronco also implies that the old Ford Bronco is a leper of a vehicle and all of them are undoubtedly OJ Simpson cars, and not the Jesus Jeep-replacement that seems to be exclusive to white people only.

And that’s exactly what the new Ford Bronco appears to have become for White People – a Jeep replacement, because Jeeps have become attainable and acceptable to people of all other races and colors, to the point where White People feel the need to flee the Jeep brand and go find something else to claim for themselves.

I went to go visit my brother not long ago, and we’re parking in a parking lot and in front of us is a Korean guy monkeying with the soft-top of his Jeep, clearly getting it lowered so that he can indulge in the beautiful beach town weather that we were at.  I said to my brother, that this guy was an example of why exactly the Ford Bronco has become a de facto White People car, because minorities are progressively getting more and more of their hands on Jeeps, and they can’t stand it.

Fewer things make it more obvious that new Ford Broncos are Jeep replacements than the fact that they’re basically designed to be Jeep clones, but with Ford badges and the little bucking bronco emblem on them.  From color selection, aesthetic trims, and just the overall silhouette of them, they’re basically the Temu version of a Jeep, since Fords in general short of a hand-built GT500 or Shelby Mustang are all cheap adult-sized Tonka toys made out of plastic, zip-ties and minority labor.

One of the kickers though, was this time I saw a new Ford Bronco with a rubber ducky in the windshield, which is a major thing that the Jeep communities does with their whips.  The funny thing is that I saw a photo of a similar vehicle on theFacebook on some Jeep community that I don’t know why I was shown a post from, but the general consensus of that post was that of internet rage, animosity and disdain for a new Ford Bronco owner for ape-ing a very Jeep-ism for their own shitty ride.

Seriously though, I haven’t yet once, seen a single new Ford Bronco, where the driver wasn’t a white person.  Mostly females too, but every single new Ford Bronco driver I’ve seen has been white.  I’ll probably do a double take if the day ever comes that I see a driver that isn’t Ben Affleck.  The funny thing is that there’s actually a home in my community that was completely repainted to be white with black trim and accents; guess what the lady who lives there drives?

Interestingly enough, Ford being Ford, their name does hold enough weight to where despite the fact that they’re a Jeep clone, Hummer appears to be trying to now clone them, with their new Hummer models that are supposedly launching in 2025.  Considering the fact that they look very similar to new Ford Broncos, I feel like these are going to be a strong candidate of White People cars to flood towards if a few minorities manage to get their hands on the keys.  And when it inevitably happens, I guess it’ll be time to add a new entry to the list of Things White People Like.

Eviction Notice: the excessively multi-generation household

For the most part, I enjoy the neighborhood that I live in.  The vast majority of the people who live here are friendly and/or mind their own business.  This one Karen in the neighborhood whom I had some heat with actually died a few years ago, and her surviving family is a big sausage party that seems to mind their own business.  We do have an HOA, but it is run by the community and not outsourced to some bullshit company, and our annual dues aren’t egregious and we do actually get a few parties throughout the year to kind of justify the money we dump into the HOA.

But let’s just be real here, there are always going to be households in everyone’s communities that ruffles a few feathers, and obviously I am no exception.  Some behaviors are less savory than others, and depending on whom one might ask, might be perceived as anything as total assholes to first-world problems.  Instead of trying to ignore the problem or the neighbors, we just fantasize about waving a magic wand and straight up just evicting from the existing in the neighborhood; nobody wants to see anyone hurt, you just want them out of your neighborhood, and hopefully replaced with someone else who doesn’t suck.

The difference is, most people keep these general grievances to themselves or within their own households, but for people like me, they become brogging content.

The first household that comes to mind as one that I’d like to magically evict from the community is what I like to refer to as, the excessively multi-generation household.  This is a home where the actual homeowners are probably right at or adjacent to full-blown senior citizen status and are most likely original owners of their home.  In fact, they themselves are rather nice and polite people, and I’ve never had a negative interaction with them before.

It’s just the circumstances in which their household exists that causes me some annoyance, and probably to others in the neighborhood if they were to stop and think about it.

So the OG owners here, they have like 3-4 grown adult children, whom have all appeared to have gotten married themselves and spawned numerous children.  One of these adult offspring still lives in the OG home with their spouse and children, presumably in the basement, seeing as how they have a finished basement with a separate entrance.  Which brings the resident count to somewhere between 5-7 people, including the OG elderly husband and wife.

The thing is, the other adult kids are always over at the OG parents’ house, along with all of their entire families, so it’s like at any given point the house is overflowing with like 10-15 people, depending on how many of their adult kids are over with their kids.  It doesn’t take a genius to surmise that the adult kids are over as often as they are, because grandma and grandpa are near, and usually willing to be free childcare, while their parents can coast with their lives knowing they have trustworthy hands available to parent in their laziness.

As a result, this is a home that always has a full driveway, and almost always has cars spilling out onto street parking, which is something I always find obnoxious no matter the circumstances, especially in a community like ours where just about every house has a driveway that can accommodate 6+ cars without breaking a sweat.  Plus, their home is situated on both a hill and a curve, which means that all other passing traffic has to exorcise extra caution when passing their home, because they won’t be able to see past whatever truck, minivan or SUV is parked on the street.

It’s not just about the parking malady they often create with their reliance and exploitation of the OG owners.  It’s the fact that all the adult kids and their own offspring take advantage and enjoy all of the benefits that actual homeowners are privy to, just because their parents still live in the home and maybe they once did too many moons ago.

When we have a block party, their household rolls up 15 people deep, when two are actual HOA due paying homeowners and the rest are their freeloading kids and their kids on top of it.  They come an eat a ton of food and their kids play on the bounce house and water slides that our community rents for children of the residents.  It just irks me in an unpleasant manner that no, I don’t want to just, not worry about, because it’s bullshit and it’s not fair to the rest of the community that actually lives here.

One year, we had a pool opening party, and this entire household rolled in 14 people deep.  Again, they’re helping themselves to the food that my dues went towards, but worst of all were all their fucking kids in the pool, splashing and taking up space, and I’m trying to enjoy wading around with my daughters, while these freeloaders are just all over the fucking place inadvertently splashing my kids with their rambunctiousness.

I’m not the only one to have noticed this exploitation of the rules at least as far as the pool is concerned, because when the pool opened up this year, as a gentle reminder when the rules of the pool were distributed for the season, there was an interesting new bullet stating that “only eight people allowed per household,” which I’m fairly certain applies to pretty much just them.  But it’s not like anyone can really enforce it, and I’d wager money that there’ve probably been multiple occasions in which these leeches took over the pool 12+ people deep.

The funny thing is, even though I’m not particularly keen on how much this household takes advantage of the general friendly disposition of the community, I’ve never had any negative interactions with them, personally.  Whenever I’ve spoken with any of the adults at any of our community functions, they’re all nice and cordial, if not aloof and a little negligent when it comes to parenting.  I’m sure they’re decent human beings as individuals.

But when the day is over, I’d rather just evict the entire household.  Just this past weekend, I had to wait an excessive amount of time while OG granddad struggled to back a trailer into the driveway, because there were already four other cars in it and a truck on the side walk, so just being able to pass was impossible until he was finished.

Had the home been occupied by one of the more normal households, with single families, no more than 2-3 vehicles and no freeloading adult offspring, the roads are clearer, safer and less congested with overpopulation bullshit.

So in conclusion, if I had a magic wand that could humanely remove them from my community, evicted!

The Ford F-250 Super Chief sounds kind of racist

I was driving to work, stuck behind a parade of slow moving commuters as is the usual, but I couldn’t help but notice the behemoth Ford truck that began tailgating me, as if they felt that I was personally responsible for the logjam of cars on the single-lane road we were all headed down.  The third car that I use as my daily commuter is quite small, and the truck plastered on my asshole as if I could shit gold like a Lannister was rather massive and I obviously was not particularly pleased being tailgated so aggressively.

However, I know the capabilities of the car I’m driving, and I’m not at the point of my life where every single interaction on the road needs to result into a street race like Tokyo Midnight Racer, so when the road expanded to a second lane, I stayed put and let the douchebag with the tiny peepee whip around me as soon as they could and take off; it wasn’t worth allowing my blood pressure to elevate just because some fuckhead was riding my ass.

Naturally, the truck did just that, and I noticed the words “Super Chief” on the vehicle, and my brow did a little scrunch – was this the actual name of a level of trim, or was the driver of this car perhaps of indigenous heritage and really wanted the world around him to know that they were of American Indian lineage?  The back window also had a subtle black-on-black decal of an American Indian that kind of looked like the old Washington Redskins logo on it, and I’m thinking to myself that there’s no way this combination of shit came straight out of the factory.

At the next red light, I googled “Ford F150 super chief” and lo and behold, this is actually a legitimate thing, except that it’s an F-250 and not the pleeb-ey little brudder F-150 as I thought it was.  But yeah, the Ford F-250 Super Chief is an actual Ford product, and I can’t help but ponder that it sounds kind of racist, in the sense that we live in a world where the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians were taken to the shed and beaten into submission within the span of the last decade, because of their names, and yet here’s Ford, one of the largest auto manufacturers on the planet, naming one of their signature trucks “Super Chief.”

Yes, the word “chief” is not exclusive to Native American culture, but it is prevalent enough in it, to where people like me immediately pull indigenous culture to the forefront when hearing the word, and I can’t help but feel like there’s some racist-sounding undertones with Ford naming a big ass truck “super chief.”

Not just any old chief, but fucking super chief, like it’s the Kryptonian Superman of Native Americans.  Like in Native culture, there are chiefs, but then there’s a level above all the other chiefs, that is the super chief.

Digging a little further, I can’t seem to find any pictures of an F-250 Super Chief with any window stickers of the Washington Redskins chief on it.  So that part of the douchey small peepee truck driver that was riding my ass, had to have been custom to that driver.  I didn’t get a look at the driver themselves, but I sure hope that with brandishing a decal like that, that the driver was actually of Native American culture, and not like one of those white cocksuckers who claim 3/47th Cherokee or some bullshit so that they can try and get a slice of indigenous benefits.  Otherwise, then the Super Chief is being kind of racist, if it’s some white guy driving around in it with that big ass Native sticker on his window.

But either way, now that I know that this is an actual thing, my personal conclusion is that it does seem a little bit racist.  ‘Murica doesn’t seem at all that concerned about that kind of stuff anymore these days, so I guess that it shouldn’t be a surprise.