Tag: art

Advent Beer #14: Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee by Schlossbrauerei Herrngiersdorf

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yup, copy/pasted that, because no way I’m retyping that much Deutsch.

As someone who definitely judges books by their covers, I have to say that this is probably the worst can design I’ve seen over the last two weeks.  I literally got up from writing to go look at the collection of cans that I’ve held onto in the event that I want to take one last parting picture, and yup confirmed, this is the worst, and most boring can design that I’ve come across during this journey.

Two logos, three different accent colors, a fuckton of boring text on white, it literally looks like the design of this can was created in Microsoft Word.

Here’s the thing though; this could be an overblown introduction judging the aesthetics of the can, and then turning it around to where I was blown away by the contents of said can, or the eye test can justify the importance of visuals, and the bier actually is as lame as the design of the can hints that it might be.

In the case of Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvée, which is a mouthful of a name that makes me think this beer thinks it’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no man’s name to overwrite her own hence the hyphenated name, the design of the can is more indicative of the quality of the beer than a situation where I shouldn’t be judging books by their covers.

The initial taste is actually pretty decent; it’s light, a touch of hops that makes me wish ‘Murican brewers would stop going so overboard with the hops, so they can continuously make the hoppiest IPA in the country, and it’s got a fairly light and refreshing initial flavor.

But man, I don’t know how to describe the finish, there’s a long lingering aftertaste after the end of every sip that I’m finding rather unpleasant.  I don’t know if it would be considered malty, or what, but it’s that sewer-water flavor at the end that hangs on way too long, to where I found myself taking long pulls and larger gulps, just so I can finish this sooner rather than savor it to enjoy it.

Needless to say, the early flavor is the only thing that keeps this from being the bottom of the barrel for me, but that’s not really saying that much.  It’s definitely one of the lesser quality beers in the collection, but given the fact that this was a beer for a Monday, it seems appropriate that it’s kind of drab.

Current Rankings:

  1. First Coral (#2)
  2. Kirta (#5)
  3. Turbo Prop (#6)
  4. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  5. Perlenzauber (#9)
  6. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  7. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  8. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  9. Grandl (#11)
  10. Hell (#1)
  11. Tannen Hell (#8)
  12. Tradition (#10)
  13. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  14. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #9: Perlenzauber by Privatbrauerei

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I first pulled the can out of the fridge, I immediately noticed the design of what appeared to be a woman looking in through a porthole, presumably underwater. My first thought was mermaid, but the rest of the can subtly looks like a barrel, and now it’s kind of fucked up, because a woman is trapped inside of a barrel that just so also happens to have a porthole.

Either way, it’s an eye-catching design, and as someone who judges books by their covers, it’s admittedly one that would make stop and examine if I were to come across this kind of can or bottle in a store.

As for the beer itself, I had a moment of pause when I saw that it was classified as “German Pale Ale,” because like I’ve said numerous times, I don’t know that much about the world of beer outside of drinking what I like to drink, so I see German pale ale and am really hoping that it’s nothing like an India pale ale, because if there’s one thing for sure is that I’m not really a fan of IPAs at all because they’re basically piss, so I’m hoping that a GPA is nothing like them.

Fortunately, after pouring it into a glass and taking the first sip, it’s definitely nowhere near the flavor or profile of an IPA. Honestly, I would’ve imagined that this was a lager if I didn’t look it up on BeerAdvocate for the proper name and source, and reading some of the cursory comments, I’m clearly not the only one.

Not sure if this is common for other German pale ales, but I certainly like them way better than IPAs.

Overall, nine days in, woman in barrel bier fares well. It definitely lives on the upper half of my now-rankings, and it’s got a pretty non-descript but light taste and body that was easy to drink, and I could easily envision myself drinking a couple of these if I were in an evening of drinking.

I guess it also doesn’t hurt that I had a particularly shitty work day, having been in meetings for six of the eight hours in my work day, some of them a little more invasive than others. But really that’s where drinking really steps up into the routines of life.

Current Rankings:
1. First Coral (#2)
2. Kirta (#5)
3. Turbo Prop (#6)
4. Perlenzauber (#9)
5. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
6. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
7. Hell (#1)
8. Tannen Hell (#8)
9. Käuzle (#3)

Man, What A Stupid Commercial #017

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Plot: family jonesing for some small business ice cream is sad to discover shop is still closed, inspires small business to pivot business model to a delivery system.  Small business owners allegedly uses solely Adobe products to rebrand and expedite their customer-facing identity

Yes, I have dusted off this old series from the days prior to the brog going down for several years, as there will never be an end to commercials that are capable of triggering my ire and unleashing the snark.  It’s not that I ever abandoned this series as much as a combination of brog downtime, the improved avoidance of commercials by virtue of streaming television, plus the baby I now am responsible over which further takes me away from television watching, that has collectively reduced my exposure to commercials outright, but it’s always been a thing I’ve enjoyed blabbing about, because most everyone can agree that commercials suck, and I can typically keep these posts shorter and sweeter than a lot of the other drivel I tend to go on about.

The funny thing is that in spite of all the reasons why I don’t get exposed to many commercials, on Thanksgiving, my father-in-law turned on the actual television to watch some football, and at the time the only game on was Redskins Washington Football Team vs. Cowboys, and it took all of five minutes for the game to go into a commercial break and expose me to a commercial that immediately caught my attention as something needing to be blistered on the brog.

Make no mistake, I am all about supporting small business and ice cream, and the general narrative of the commercial itself is sweet and pleasant.  It’s just the fact that it’s a commercial for Adobe that I find both objectionable and unbelievable that inspires me to write about how much bullshit it turns the entire commercial subsequently.

There’s no fucking way a business can rebrand and change all of their UX/UI through Acrobat and Sign.  Why they advertise it as such is completely beyond me, and in order for this much action to occur, undoubtedly the entire Creative Suite would be necessary to utilize.

But most importantly, what the commercial fails to convey is the sheer unreliability and instability of Adobe products these days, and sure they can eke out a 60 second spot to look all happy and cheerful, but off-camera there’s probably numerous hours lost to Adobe software crashing over and over again in the process of altering the brand of Mila’s ice cream shop, and scenes where Mila herself is ready to throw her computer(s) onto the ground when the constant software crashing has her questioning why she’s even trying to pivot her business in the first place.  Feeling resentment at the little girl who taped a picture to her door and making her feel sad in the first place.  Cursing the monopoly Adobe has on the entire graphic design industry, justifying their position to release subpar software at egregious prices.

Furthermore, without question, after the camera stops rolling, the drone stops responding and crashes back down to earth, and when Mila’s truck turns around to investigate, it too stops responding, and crashes into someone’s house, because that’s what Adobe products do: stop responding and then crashes.

This commercial is false advertising.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Office Space-ing

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s only been a year and chance since I moved into my house, but I haven’t really done anything with my office.  Sure, I made and installed my wall of belts, and hung a few frames on the walls, in addition to positioning the futon and setting up a space for my computer.  But I still had a lot of boxes sitting in the closet along with general ideas for lots of little trinkets and nerdy figurines that I had imagined displaying in whatever room I’d designate as my office, that I simply never bothered really getting to.

Another thing I decided to do while mythical gf was out of the country was to finally do something with my office space, and get it to a point beyond where it was just a whole bunch of boxes stacked in a corner with just a computer and a wall of wrestling belts.  A few posts ago, I touched on the hanging wall shelves that I had put together, which are in place and I’m generally happy with, even though I underestimated a little bit just how many Rito figures that I had and how much space they’d take up.

So among the things not making the cut of the above picture are two shelves that I purchased and installed; neither are particularly impressive things, but more like essentials in order to get a degree of organization for all my various personal effects.  The obstacle I faced with my primary shelf was that I had some general dimensions that I did not want to exceed in any capacity so that I could retain as much open floor space as possible but still be able to have a place to hold some shit.

At first, I had resigned myself that storage cubes would be the most logical shelving solution for what I had in mind, but after a lot of digging on various sites, it was Amazon of all places where I found this shelf that fit into my dimensional parameters, and definitely looked like it had way more character than the cubes that just about everyone in my generation has from Ikea, Target or Walmart.  Not to mention I loved the faux-incomplete half edges on opposite ends that definitely gives it some personality as well flexibility in case something is a little wider than the surface area.

I only needed one row and the top to display stuff like nice figures and photo frames, and I didn’t have a lot of printed materials that exceeded the smaller shelf spaces, that didn’t quite fit into my library shelf elsewhere, so that left the entire bottom row available for general storage.  I got these storage bins to store shit like camera equipment, electronic peripherals and art supplies, but also looking a little bit nicer than the army of cardboard printer paper boxes they’d all been sitting in previously.

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Who knew anarchists were so detail-oriented?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Impetus: vandals break into church, spray paint satanic symbols all over the walls

First off, I don’t condone breaking and entering, or vandalism.  I don’t even condone the smoking of marijuana, but that’s more an eye of the beholder kind of opinion.  And I most certainly feel empathy for this church that hasn’t even officially opened and had its first service, before some shitheads broke in and spray painted shit all over the walls.

However, I have to say I have a hard time getting over the vandals’ execution of the anarchy symbol (pictured) they left in the church; namely the fact that they clearly utilized some painters/masking tape in the process of making it, as indicative by the extremely clean and straight lines of the anarchy-A.

Look, I give them a little bit of ironic credit of thinking outside the box, and instead of just spray painting the standard circle-A line art of a traditional anarchy-A, they decided to try and be all artistic and reverse that shit out, and knock out an anarchy-A out of circular blob of clearly-satanic red.

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I’m critical because I CARE

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Meet Cupid Twitch.  Cupid Twitch is a skin concept for League of Legends character Twitch, the Plague Rat.  The impetus behind this design is that Twitch is the last bow-and-arrow wielding character on the roster, and with Valentine’s Day approaching, adding him to the Heartseeker family of skins.  The idea works two-fold, as it provides an opportunity to present a character known for filth and pungent odor in an ironic manner to be suddenly a romance-spreading Cupid, firing his arrows upon champions on Summoner’s Rift, as well as holding true to Heartseeker trends of utilizing bows and arrows.

The basis for the idea was taking a hairless rat, which are already all pink and cherub-like colored, and giving it Twitch’s weapon, modified to at least have a Heartseeker theme.  Add wings, and superfluous hearts, and voila, it’s Cupid Twitch, ready to spread love in surprise double and triple kills.

However, Cupid Twitch does not actually exist.

Continue reading “I’m critical because I CARE” →

Logos, selective hearing and non-constructive criticism

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

In my humble opinion, a logo should mean something.  That being said, I do in fact believe that the business world is full of hundreds upon hundreds of “meaningless” logos and identities.  If it’s a company’s goal to create a logo that stands out, that’s understandable and justifiable, but when the day is over, there’s still a chance that it’s essentially meaningless; if what’s created doesn’t symbolize anything, then it’s imperfect in my opinion.

Whenever I think about logos out there, that I think are “great logos,” off the top of my head, the featured above ones stand out.  I don’t like the Mets as a team, but damn if I don’t think their logo is a fantastic blend of meaning, symbolism and an aesthetically pleasing color combination.  The skyline features symbols of the five New York boroughs, a bridge overlapping them to symbolize connection between them all, the Mets word mark in classic script, all encapsulated within a fairly subtle baseball silhouette.

FedEx seems like a fairly inconspicuous word mark logo, but when the arrow within the E and X in Ex were explained to me, it was one of those can’t not see it anymore moments, which is subtle genius, because the arrow represents the forward progress of shipping logistics.

Continue reading “Logos, selective hearing and non-constructive criticism” →