I’ve been a bad brogger

I’ve been well aware throughout the last fifteen days that I hadn’t updated the brog in a while.  And as much as I felt the obligation to myself to keep up the practice of writing, I just didn’t feel like it.  But in all fairness, I haven’t really felt like doing a whole lot of much throughout the last few weeks.  To be perfectly honest, I didn’t much feel like doing much writing now, but enough has more or less been enough, and I figure it would be good to put some words down on the e-paper to hopefully clear my head a little bit.

As has been the general mood of self these last few months or so, things have not been going too particularly well in my life, as well as the lives of those around me.  I’ve hit a little bit of a rough patch, and am still kind of riding it right now.  Just the other day, I went to the bank and deposited a small cache of cash that I had stashed away, designated as “birthday money only to be spent on something superficial and gratifying and not bills” . . . because my bank account was precariously low, and without the deposit, I run the risk of not being able to pay my bills.  The disaster was temporarily averted, but it doesn’t really change the fact that I’m occasionally feeling the overwhelming feeling of drowning from time to time, compounded by emotions of the uncertainty of freelance working, and the phone not ringing with potential full-time work.

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Depression as result of unemployment, take #39

Earlier today, I returned home from the Braves’ afternoon game that I was able to attend because I’m not working, irritated that despite the stellar record the Braves have at home, they still managed to put up a stinker and lose to a poor Nationals team that made me wish I hadn’t come out to the park to witness.  Compounded with the fact that I was irritated with the spontaneous traffic jam that occurred on my way home, the sheer lack of a conveniently located Chic-Fil-A to satiate the irritating hunger that descended upon me that caused an irritating headache, mostly stemming from zero caffeine prior to.

I returned home from trivia after yet another disappointing 4th place finish, irritated that no matter how well we think we’re doing, we’re just not quite good enough.  As I was driving home, I thought to myself that I should probably get to bed as soon as possible, so I could wake up early for my morning jog.  But what after that?  I’m not working, so essentially, there’s absolutely little motive for me to sleep at a normal time, to wake up early.  On top of that, I’ve had about four Diet Cokes in the last eight hours, and now I’m a little caffeinated; but at least the headache is gone.

I need to get myself some real fucking work.

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Something substantial

Since I don’t really want to fall into a brogger’s rut of simply posting nothing but a picture and a quick blurb of words, on a daily basis, I sit down today to write.

A brogger’s rut isn’t the only thing that I’m risking falling into these days, because as much as I hate to admit it, I feel that I have fallen into a more proverbial life’s rut these last few weeks.  Ever since I returned from Chicago, I have struggled to get back into a sense of routine, comfort, and the resulting ease of mind that comes with doing the same shit on a regular basis.  I guess it wasn’t necessarily the fault of my trip to Chicago, but now that I think about it, kind of a result of events and happenings of this summer as a whole, perhaps.  Now I’m not going to say that my life is miserable and sucks by any stretch of the imagination, but at the same time I’m not going to ignore the facts, or at least hypothesis, that I might be a little depressed these days.

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