I have to admit, that after this commercial aired, I was kind of surprised. It was without question, the poorest quality animation that I’d ever seen aired on national television, and I couldn’t really believe that someone out there paid the money to both produce such a putrid animation, as well as actually pay whatever money it took to get it to air nationally.
No seriously, this looks like one of those flash animation generators where random people can write a basic dialogue script, and then it generates a crappy flash video where all the voices are Steve voice, and people think are funny. Except worse. I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen better animation on public access television.
I title this with a number as if I’ll remember to keep it going as time passes. Commercials are relatively a nuisance to begin with, and when I have the misfortune of watching television that isn’t DVR’d, I’m at the mercy of having to sit through them. But every now and then I’ll see a commercial that is just bad, and stands out as bad amongst all the other bad advertising that exists. Commercials that make my contort my face and wonder “what the fuck was that?” Commercials that I’ll deem as stupid for a variety of different reasons, or multiple/all of the above.
But since lately with the inception of a Facebook account, I’m having a tedious time coming up with things to brog about; at least with commercials, there’s an endless well in which stupid content might trigger the urge to slap some words down onto the interwebs. And here we stand.
Does any company truly fail at marketing more than Pepsi? Serious question. The company spends an egregious amount of money to market, but in the end, so little of their marketing actually is good marketing. At first it was the overblown, overly-winded explanation of how the current Pepsi logo came to with inspiration from The Golden Ratio, Michaelangelo’s David, the Mona Lisa, and all sorts of other trite, convoluted explanations that are more laughable than memorable.
But commercials like this have me wonder what the fuck Pepsi is thinking sometimes.
All throughout the summer, I’ve seen shirts that look pretty much just like this. Give or take the color; base it on a school, sports team, or just douchebag neon colors, all summer long, it’s been Nike shirts that have absolutely nothing on them but a couple of words in Futura Bold variant, AKA The Watchmen font, and a swoosh.
BRAVES BASEBALL. swoosh PHILLIES BASEBALL. swoosh NATIONALS BASEBALL. swoosh BLACKSBURG. swoosh KANSAS CITY KNOWS. swoosh PACKERS JUST DO IT. swoosh FAST IS FASTER. swoosh
Gordon Liu receives Maxim magazine, and has done so for the better part of the last decade. For much of that time, Gordon Liu hasn’t actually paid for Maxim, but still continues to receive the magazine regardless.
Having been such a long-time subscriber to Maxim, Gordon Liu has seen the gradual, but consistent degradation of the quality of the magazine. Gordon Liu is happy that he hasn’t been paying for Maxim, because frankly, this magazine hasn’t been worth actual currency for at least the last five years.
Ever since Brock Lesnar came back to the WWE, there’s really only one thing I couldn’t ever get around. Not the fact that he still can’t cut a promo to save his life, not that he’s obviously using the WWE again for his personal agenda, and not the fact that he doesn’t actually perform in anything other than pay-per-views, but the fact that he has been a walking advertisement for Jimmy John’s Gourmet Sandwiches.
I’m guessing that Lesnar has had some sort of pre-existing sponsorship contract with the company that had been grandfathered in and strategically maneuvered into his current WWE deal, because no individual has really pimped a product out like this since X-Pac pimped some energy drink but he had pull with the company then, but the point remains is that it’s unusual for any wrestlers to have sponsorship. The company as a whole, is a different story, but typically you just don’t see individuals having such types of deals, let alone wearing fucking company logos on their apparel, three times larger than their own personal branding.
Typically, when it comes to the topic of politics, I tend to keep my opinions to myself. For the most part, I’m pretty ambivalent about politics, but I have recently been accused of “looking like a liberal,” whatever that means. But truthfully, I don’t really care that much; if that makes me an irresponsible American, then I’m an irresponsible American.
But anyway, I saw this sticker on a pickup truck (naturally), and it really got me thinking: why would a sticker bother to show the President Obama logo at all in a piece of attempted smear paraphernalia? It doesn’t mention at all, what would be taking Obama’s place on January 20, 2013. It is going to be Mitt Romney? Ross Perot? Predators? Cthulhu?
Ever since I discovered the existence of Who Is That Hot Ad Girl, I’ve been able to fairly reliably track down most all of the random attractive women I see on television, who are schilling whatever they’re paid to schill in order to make ends meet on their ends. It’s easily one of my favorite sites, and it’s helped give me some idea of what I’ll be writing about today.
90% of the TV ads I see are typically while I’m running on the hamster wheel at the gym, or when I’m watching baseball. Pretty much everything else I watch is usually DVR’d, and I’m skipping through the commercials with relative ease. But in the cases of the gym and live baseball, I do not have that luxury, so I’m occasionally exposed to seeing commercials. But in some cases, like the particular ads I’ll point out, I couldn’t really care less of what is being advertised, because I’m too busy noticing the attractive women they have speaking on behalf of the services being advertised.
Despite the fact that I find all three of these women appealing, I can’t really say the reasons are that similar in each case. I guess what this boils down to do is that it’s a glimpse of what I find appealing to my aesthetics or how my mind kind of processes what I see in girls.
