Tag: wrestling

Thoughts on my first MLW show

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As the consummate pro wrestling hipster that tends to favor indy and smaller promotions when it comes to watching wrestling live, when MLW announced they were making a stop in Atlanta, and at Center Stage theater no less, my absolute favorite venue to watch wrestling at, I was excited when I got some of my boys together to go watch.

Despite knowing of their existence, some of the notable names to have emerged from them, and their general hierarchy in the power rankings of professional wrestling promotions, I’d never actually been to an MLW show before.  In the past, I just wasn’t that interested, and perhaps I didn’t respect them enough, but as my general appreciation for indy and smaller promotions has grown, I was looking forward to giving them a shot.

After all, they still managed to command Center Stage, a venue historic in the annals of wrestling promotion, having hosted everyone at some point, from the NWA, WCW, ECW to smaller rackets like NXT, TNA and GCW, so it should be a considered a rub in the positive direction if MLW could promote at Center Stage.

And leading up to the event, the card was coming together to be somewhat respectable, with noteworthy names and matches assembling, featuring guys like Matt Riddle, Kenta, TJP, Satoshi Kojima and PWI’s #10 wrestler* Mistico among others; but I obviously preface with that “on paper” disclaimer, because when it comes to smaller promotions, historically a lot of workers tend to work down to the level of their show, and I’ve been disappointed more often than not when it comes to actual performing.

*I say this dripping with sarcasm, because as decent of a worker he is, Mistico is definitely no top-10 wrestler, and I feel that he’s the equivalent of a DEI inclusion onto the list, solely to represent both lucha libre and a smaller promotion like MLW

What we were unaware of, was the fact that this was a double-taping, with MLW taping some online show called Pit Fighters, where supposedly every match was some gimmick, revolving around “X region of the world” and “deathmatch” and we were exposed to this really hackneyed card of matches where it would be a Tae Kwon Do match, a boxing vs. BJJ match where Donovan Dijak interfered and rescued the segment, and in one Taipei Death Match, which was surprisingly brutal, to where I was hollering that this was a snuff film, it actually featured a worker that was actually Korean in Ikuro Kwon, whom I had to look up as actually being born in Korea, so that’s actually kind of cool.

But all in all, Pit Fighters was a real chore to sit through, and I kind of felt bad for the friends of mine whom I roped into coming with me, having to sit through the bullshit, but fortunately things picked up a little bit, when we got to the actual live-airing of the MLW FIghtland show that we had originally expected the whole thing to be.

However, much like I had pointed out, despite some of the matches on the card sounding pretty decent, it overall was kind of meh.  Kenta and TJP had an okay match, but nowhere near as good as they’ve gone up against each other in NJPW, Dijak and Timothy Thatcher also was better when they faced off in NXT, and I don’t even really remember many of the other matches at this point, it was such a forgettable card.

The one thing that really made me want to write about this though, was throughout the whole night of taping,** there was one group that kept showing up through the night, which consisted of Bobby Fish, CW Anderson, Brock Anderson and this kid I’d never heard of before in BRG – Brett Ryan Gosselin.

**it should also be pointed out that the taping I think was done out of order, so the Pit Fighters that taped before Fightland, was actually intended to air after Fightland, so there was some wonky narratives going on

And they would proceed to declare themselves “The Rogue Horsemen,” and I’m not so certain that I wasn’t the only person in the theater to audibly groan at such a grasp at relevancy, and one my friends and I kept saying and agreeing that it was the saddest looking stable we’d ever seen in our lives.

So this kid, BRG, I can respect the showmanship and the B+ charisma he has on the mic, but he’s basically a Temu version of MJF, which is funny because so many people have called MJF a Wish version of The Miz, but regardless, BRG’s schtick just seems so regurgitated and he relies too much on cheap heat and calling the audience idiots, so I guess he’s exactly where he belongs in a 4th-5th tier promotion like MLW.

In all fairness, I like Bobby Fish, but the man is not getting any younger, and the numerous injuries he piled up in his later years in NXT as well as AEW have definitely taken their toll on him, but the man really is a tag team guy, that even in a small pond like MLW probably won’t be able to handle the toll of singles.

CW Anderson, I was actually surprised to hear and see him come out, because the last time I had seen him was in like 2019 at a really raw indy show in rural Virginia, where he wrestled The Hurricane in a high school gym.  But the man literally debuted in ECW in 1999, and he looked 40 then, which means he’s actually held up pretty well to only look 60 now.

But he’s teamed up with Brock Anderson, the son of Arn Anderson, in the obvious designated tag team of the stable.  The thing is with Brock is that despite being Arn’s son, he apparently got none of his dad’s talent, and Brock looks like a guy that’s in wrestling because plan A didn’t work, but neither did plans B through F, and he’s in the business pretty much out of no better options and that his dad’s name gives him the foot into any door.  He’s out of shape and poorly trained, and it was no more evident in his talent level than when The Andersons had a tag match, it was ancient CW who started the match instead of the younger Brock.

Honestly, the most memorable things that happened in the night for me, were an appearance by Ernest “the Cat” Miller who hilarious did absolutely nothing at all when he served as a special guest scorekeeper in whatever convoluted wrestling/jiu-jitsu match that Matt Riddle was in.  Also, JBL showed up during the Andersons’ match against the Bomaye Fight Club, dropped their big guy with a short-arm Clothesline From Hell, and whispered something to Brock Anderson, which I’m hoping is not a precursor for him eventually jumping ship to the WWE, especially since Arn is back in their good graces, but it was cool to see JBL continuing his random appearing in various other promotions as of late.

Overall, being two consecutive shows in one night, the whole experience dragged on quite a bit, due to the general mediocrity of the talent.  The show started late, at like 7:20, and didn’t end up ending for about four hours, and by the end of the show, my friends and I were pretty exhausted and ready to get the fuck out of the city.

Bottom line is that if MLW comes through Atlanta again, I’ll either go by myself, or take a pass.  I’m glad I went just to experience it and learn more about what an MLW show is like, but like I said, I don’t think it’s something I need to do again any time soon.

I can’t wait for Xavier Woods’ heel turn

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Lots of long-time wrestling fans are smarter than people like to give them credit for.  The wrestling industry is at its best when they treat the fans with a modicum of respect for their intelligence and don’t go out of their way to dumb things down that questions it instead.

At this point, I can confidently believe that Xavier Woods’ heel turn isn’t so much just being hinted or teased, it’s definitely something that’s going to happen with the only question really being is just, when?

As much as I was a fan of the group, let’s not deny the fact that The New Day has been dead for the better part of the last few years.  One member of the squad has always been injured at various points throughout this span, and as much yeoman’s work the other two have done in their absence, the fact of the matter is that The New Day has always been a three-man group, and whenever it’s unable to be such, it means that The New Day isn’t really there.

With the unfortunate neck injury that has basically retired Big E at this point was really the nail in the coffin for the group, and it’s like Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston have just been chugging along under The New Day banner, mostly out of a general lack of ideas of what to do with them in the meantime.  They’re both trustworthy hands, their brand is still popular and easy to stay over, but the reality remains that them and the group have just been a dead idea walking.

And then they just plucked Odyssey Jones out of NXT and went boom, you’re The New Day member #3, and I’m just like, nah dog, I’m fuckin out.  No disrespect to Odyssey, but it’s kind of low-hanging fruit and insulting that they just take a big black wrestler and throw him into The New Day with the express purpose of replacing Big E’s spot.

However, the best thing to emerge from this is that it appears that The New Day are back in the general plans of Creative™, and the wheels are in motion for the ultimate dissolution of the group together, culminating with what appears to be a heel turn for Xavier Woods, who has been the one member of the group to have been overlooked and not given a genuine chance at singles success for over a decade now.

They’ve teased Woods’ seeming lack of satisfaction of the inclusion of Odyssey Jones, there’s been remarks on live television about how Woods is the only member of the original squad to never have won a singles championship, and Woods himself has been doing an excellent job of facial expressions, body language and subtle, non-verbal performing that’s adding to the fuel that something is about to catch fire.

The only problem is that when the match is lit, and heel-Woods is initiated, I have this sneaking suspicion that the result isn’t necessarily going to be what the WWE is going to hope is going to happen, and the fans are going to pop like motherfuckers when it happens.

Kind of like when Becky finally snapped and decked Charlotte Flair during the pre-The Man days, the crowd went bonkers in support of Becky’s heel turn, because Becky Lynch was a performer that the fans had gotten to know, earned their respect, and drew empathy from the notion that they’d been held down and been a bridesmaid far too many times.

I feel like Xavier Woods is in a similar boat, and regardless of how he’s portrayed on television, he’s been building his personal brand for the better part of the last 10+ years on the internet, utilizing Up Up Down Down for people to get glimpses of Austin Creed, and there’s probably a notable amount of overlap between fans of Austin Creed and fans of Xavier Woods, and I predict that when Xavier Woods finally, goes heel and beats the fuck out of Odyssey Jones with a chair, and then plasters Kofi Kingston with a shot to effectively close the book on The New Day, people are going to pop, because the spotlight will suddenly be on Austin Creed, a guy that’s never really had the opportunity to have it, and they will all be excited to see how he handles being given the ball.

Just the thought of singles feuds for Xavier Woods, with inevitably Kofi, Sami Zayn and Jey Uso definitely seem like the types of programs that would get me to actually put effort into keep up to date with the product, but the question really is when they’re going to happen.  All the same, I can’t wait for it when it does, and let’s hope Creative pulls the trigger at the appropriate time, and doesn’t wait too long like they used to do so often throughout the early 2000’s.

I am not a fan of MJF’s short reign as American Champion

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

This post could’ve just as easily been called WTF is AEW doing #413, but we’ve gone too far now, and the wheels of writing are already in motion.  But after maybe what, four or five weeks after MJF defeated Will Ospreay for the re-christened American Championship in an absolute banger of a match on Dynamite #250, he gives it right back to Ospreay at All In.

It’s funny because the WWE gets a tremendous amount of flack when they do 50/50 booking, when feuding competitors trade wins back and forth, because “it devalues” both of them having to take losses, but this is a prime example of a zero-sum gain of 50/50 booking between two guys that are expected to be torch bearers for AEW, in MJF and Will Ospreay.

Ospreay takes a loss at Dynamite #250, loses his blet to MJF, and MJF does some really, really outstanding work in the span of him turning it into the American Championship, cashing in on all sorts of cheap heat by taking the title to Mexico and Europe and going ballistic on foreign countries, drawing nuclear amounts of heat in the process.

But instead of continuing to run with this ball that had a tremendous amount of mileage still left in the tank, AEW books MJF to drop the title right back to Will Ospreay, so that MJF can go feud with Daniel Garcia, whom I like, but at the same time, now there’s nobody next in line for Will Ospreay, although I think it’s evidently clear that it’s going to be Ricochet, because Tony Khan doesn’t waste any time at caving to what he and the fans want, which is an inevitable Ospreay vs. Ricochet match.

And just like that, a mega-program between two of the company’s most mega stars is over as quick as it started, all because a notable program needed to be lit and burned for All In just because it was in London and Will Ospreay of course needs to go over in his home country.

Frankly, this is all just extremely short-sighted booking that just occurred, because MJF is probably the most protected man on the entire roster, and he had to take an L, primarily because Tony Khan waited until the last minute to start his science project, panicked and forced two of his top workers to put together a hackneyed program that resulted in both of them taking losses and swapping a belt in rapid succession.  These two guys should be built up for at least six months for a program at Revolution, or Double or Nothing, or whatever one of AEW’s show is supposed to be their grand daddy of them all.

Honestly, I have no doubt in my mind that MJF being the obnoxious asshole American could have gone several more months of him showing up in other countries to wrestle their hot stars, or show up on AEW programming and defeat non-American after non-American for the title.  Frankly, he could have carried this program on as long as he felt like carrying it, because there’s really nobody better than MJF at taking the low-hanging fruit and running with it.

I like Daniel Garcia, but there’s no chance that he could compare with Will Ospreay in carrying his end of a feud.  Ordinarily, I’d say that MJF dropping a mid-card title is really a sign of an impending promotion, but Tony Khan doesn’t seem to follow any logical rules as much as he’s always trying to swerve the audience for really no other reason than because he’s deliberately trying to swerve them for the sake of doing such.

It’s just a shame that it’s going to come at the expense of a rare MJF loss.

Dominik Mysterio has an important choice to make

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Be more like his dad Eddie Guererro Rey Mysterio, or be more like Sammy Guevara?

So I’m scrolling through theFacebook, and I come across a random photograph taken by a fan, from Summer Slam, and it’s of the part where Dominik Mysterio and Liv Morgan are embracing after Liv’s successful title defense against Rhea Ripley, whom Dom-Dom had just schemed against and screwed.  Enthralling television.

But in the photo, you can clearly see some tongue action going on between the two, and I’m thinking to myself first, that’s kind of gross because seeing anyone really tongue making out isn’t ever really attractive if I’m being honest, but then I’m thinking, hey Dominik Mysterio is actually married in real life and I bet his wife probably isn’t appreciating the liberties he’s taking in the name of putting on a show.

Most fans probably noticed that over the last two years of the Dominik and “Mami” Rhea Ripley relationship, there’s never been any real kissing or anything too affectionate shown on screen.  With kayfabe being a dead thing these days, most fans also knew that both of them were in relationships outside of the ring, Dominik married, and Rhea Ripley engaged (now married) to Buddy Matthews.

I get the impression that this was the case out of a mutual respect between all parties related, and what they did show on screen was all for show, and because Dom and Rhea are pretty talented performers, they still managed to sell it convincingly and seem pretty natural on screen.

But after seeing Dom and Liv going ham as soon as the ruse was revealed, now it seems more like the previous agreement was probably more Rhea’s idea than Dom’s, and although I imagine he’ll deny and proclaim that it’s to sell the storyline, I feel like Dom went a little heavy-handed with his actions, the way he was trying to inhale Liv Morgan into him like he were Shang Tsung sucking up her soul.

Of course it takes two to tango, and as aesthetically pleasing I find Liv Morgan, and tempting as the opportunity would seem, I get the impression she doesn’t give a fuck about Dom’s wife so much as she wants to make a moment, and was all for making out with Dom on Peacock® as hard as she could to move the needle.

It didn’t end there either, as the following Monday on RAW, the two of them were on screen together, as Finn Balor revealed the grand excommunication of both Damien Priest and Rhea Ripley from the Judgment Day, and they were just all over each other, sharing all these little pecks and smooches on camera.  Again, none of this occurred when it was Dom x Rhea, but now that it’s Dom x Liv, all bets appear to be off.

So back to the original question, I feel like Dominik Mysterio is at a personal crossroads right now, and I’m not entirely not being serious about it, because the only outcome of it really does affect personal lives in the end.

Does Dominik subscribe to the newsletter of his dad, Eddie Guerrero Rey Mysterio, and maintain a healthy work-life balance where he has a loyal wife and children at home, doesn’t stray, and resist temptation?  I know I’ve made the Eddie joke twice now, but even Eddie is a good example in this case, because he too was a faithful husband and took care of his family until the very end.

Or does Dominik subscribe to the Sammy Guevara newsletter, where his professional life begins to permeate into his personal life?  Where the ultra-talented Sammy Guevara had an emotionally charged televised proposal and engagement to his now-ex Pam, but then would rapidly embark on a relationship with a fellow wrestler, Tay Conti, and basically humiliate all parties involved publicly when he ended up dumping Pam and basically immediately marrying and knocking up Conti, and even where the fickle AEW even thought he was a shithead.

Because as it stands now, it looks like Dom hasn’t made such a distinction yet, and if he thinks kayfabe is going to be some sort of hall pass for him to suck face with Liv Morgan on television and expect to be able to go home to his actual wife and all is going to be hunky-dory, I’d wager that she’s not going to be as pleased by his choices to imbibe in the physicality with Liv when he’s gone the last few years without any televised action with Rhea.

Sensibility and the want to know everyone is in a good place dictates that Dom-Dom go the route of his dad(s), and curb it back a smidge.  But Dom is also young, Liv Morgan is also hot and seems to have no qualms with using whatever hand she’s dealt to optimally raise her stock, and I think most red-blooded males can understand the conundrum going on in his head, but only time will tell to see how the rest of this journey transpires.

Hello, L . . . GBTQ+

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I was 16 years old and the WWF was in the midst of their Attitude Era, business was booming, wrestling couldn’t possibly be anymore mainstream than it was, and week after week was compelling television to the demographic that clearly targeted people like me, and of similar age mindsets.

When vignettes of Val Venis began, of him announcing is impending arrival in the WWE while simultaneously pantomiming all sorts of sexual activity, it really was a holy shit moment, as in the reality that professional wrestling was going to have a porn star character, was actually going to happen.

I remember debut on RAW is WAR, against Too-Cold Scorpio, and thinking this match was going surprisingly long for a guy’s debut, and after a vicious spinning heel kick from Scorpio, I actually remember wondering if Val Venis would be among the few superstars to actually take an L in their debut, the last one I could remember being Bastion Booger way back in like 1992.

Perhaps The Big Valbowski was being too generous as the noob in the locker room.  Or maybe Too-Cold was going into business for himself a little bit seeing as how he was eventually supposed to take the L; maybe the man that Mick Foley put in writing as having the largest penis he’d ever seen in his life was a little salty that some Canadian guy was getting to portray the porn star gimmick that he felt could’ve been his.

But Val Venis did win the match, and I remember thinking how unimpressive he actually was in the ring, based on that singular match.

Eventually, he would get opportunities to redeem himself, and seeing as how the WWF roster was stacked to the gills with guys like The Rock, Mick Foley, Kurt Angle and Edge, even the mid-card was loaded with guys like the New Age Outlaws, Hardcore Holly, D’lo, X-Pac, Ken Shamrock among many others.

Not only was The Big Valbowski a fun character, gushing with charisma and cleverly-written promos, the guy actually could work too.  Needless to say, I was a fan of Val Venis.

However, it should come as no great surprise that a guy whose character was a literal porn star, there would be a ceiling for him, dictated by the rules and regulations of public decency and mostly the FCC.  In order for Val to elevate to the main event and the top of the card, the character would have to grow and evolve, and there’s really not much growth or evolution a porn star would be able to do on national television.

Eventually, due to mounting pressure from outside forces, most notably the formed Parent-Television Council, the Val Venis persona eventually made its way to the block and was soon choppy-choppy’d from the program.

As talented of a worker as he was, workrate is only half of professional wrestling, and character is the other half.  Losing a persona like Val Venis was the kiss of death, and after flops like RTC member Val Venis and then Chief Morley, he would flounder some more in TNA before his professional career came to mostly an end.

Much like lots of former wrestlers of yesteryear, Sean Morley [his real name] could’ve faded into the sunset, or among the many things a guy could do in order to stay relevant to the modern wrestling community, utilize social media to announce their existence, but also to spout horrifically right-wing propaganda and become one of the countless right-wing nuts that pollute the population.  And if you went with the latter, at what you think Val Venis has been doing in retirement, you’re absolutely right.

Which finally brings us to the point of this post’s existence; apparently The Big Valbowski’s right-wing rhetoric and how much he blathers it has ruffled a few feathers, most notably the guy who has been running his website, ValVenis.com.  I didn’t dive too far to find out the context of just how bad the rift went, or specifically what caused it, but the result of such a fallout was that the guy who had the keys to the car, has decided to turn ValVenis.com into a site that now exists in support and allyship of the LGBTQ+ community; and if there’s one major demographic that exists in the crosshairs of the hard right, it’s the LGBTQ+ community.

Unsurprisingly, The Big Valbowski is none too pleased with this development, and has supposedly pursued legal action and is suing the webmaster to try to get the reigns to his website back.  I don’t care enough to have an opinion on whom is going to possibly come out of the legal battle with any advantage, but my knee-jerk thought is that webmaster probably has the upper hand, seeing as how they’re probably the one who registered, paid and are actually the ones still maintaining the virtual property.

Seeing as how the WWE hasn’t cared enough about the Val Venis character to bother renewing and retaining the IP, I imagine if Sean Morley secures the copyright for himself, he might have a leg to stand on, but in the meantime, I love that the Webmaster has turned “VAL VENIS” into a really reaching anagram of LGBTQ+ support in a long-shot way to justify using the domain for its current purpose:

VAL : Valued Allies of LGBTQ+
VENIS: Vital Educational & NonJudgemental Informational Services

Sean Morley didn’t really have that long of a career, but he kind of existed in the era when professional wrestlers were free-spending jocks who blew thousands of dollars on drinking, drugs and ring rats, and aren’t the athletic nerds of today who have gamified investing and earning, so I have no idea what his current financial status is.  But if I had to guess, it’s more towards the former, and I don’t imagine he has the means to get into a legal battle against a website, fighting over the web domain of a former wrestling porn star in an actual court of law.

The bottom line is as it stands now, Val Venis is in 100% owned status, and is a precautionary tale of the importance of being good to your webmasters, especially if you yourself don’t have any keys to the house.

I don’t think AEW knows what Unified means

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As I was doom scrolling before going to sleep, I came across a video clip of Dustin Rhodes and what appeared to be two members of the Von Erich family, winning the Ring of Honor Six-Man Tag championships at some Ring of Honor show.  I wouldn’t know which one, because ever since Tony Khan bought the entire promotion, it hasn’t held my interest beyond the one Final Battle show I went to a few years ago, and fuck if I’m going to pay actual money to see a TK production.

The thing is, up until seeing this title change, I had no idea that the ROH Six-Man championship was still in existence.  I was under the impression that in an attempt to reduce the sheer volume of blets in AEW/ROH, that when the Bang Bang Gang* defeated The Acclaimed and “unified” the ROH Six-Man blets with the AEW Trios blets, six blets would be reduced to three.

*The amount of turrible that this name is, is unprecedented, and even in a carny, smarky bubble that AEW and their fans exist in, this stands out as that bad

Naturally, instead they ended up with nine total blets to cart around, as Jay White, Colten and Austin Gunn would lug around each an ROH Six-Man blet, the gaudy pink-strapped Acclaimed-version Trios blet, as well as the OG black, blue and gold AEW Trios blet.  There exists enough physical blets in AEW and ROH combined for every single talent that appears on screen to have one.

Anyway though, the whole point of a unified championship is the consolidate the number of titles, to increase the prestige of a singular championship, and despite the fact that there were at one point nine blets to signify the Unified Trios championship, the reality is that the Acclaimed-pink blets and the ROH Six-Man blets should have been taken off television.

Recently, whether it was legitimate or kayfabe, Jay White was injured, and taken off television; I’m hoping it was the latter, and that an injury angle is what was needed in order to break Jay White away from the Gunns and Juice Robinson, so that a guy that hasn’t been even a full year removed from being the IWGP World Champion can actually reset his trajectory in AEW, instead of being like Kazuchika Okada and being used at a fraction of his true capabilities and instead stashed with C-tier talents and meaningless television segments.

As a result of White being out, the Bang Bang Gang was stripped of the Unified Trios championship, and forced to fight The Patriarchy for the right to win them back.  And with their top worker out, Christian and his cronies would pick up the win, the titles, and hopefully he will elevate the Trios blets as well as he had elevated the TNT championship.

The thing is, what everyone failed to mention, and/or I was never made aware of because I don’t pay that much attention to AEW/ROH, is that the ROH Six-Man championship was un-unified just like that, and it wasn’t until I saw Dustin Rhodes and the Von Erichs winning them did I even learn that they were even active championships again.

Look, I’m fine with championships being resurrected when the need arises, but the thing with this convoluted journey of Six-Man/Trios championships is that it all happened within the span of a calendar year and basically ended up in the same place in which it started:

  • August 2023: The Acclaimed win the AEW Trios Championship
  • January 2024: Jay White and the Gunns win the ROH Six-Man Championship
  • April 2024: Bang Bang Gang defeats The Acclaimed, becomes the Unified Trios Champions
  • July 2024: On account of Jay White’s injury, Bang Bang Gang are stripped of the Unified Trios Championship; unmentioned, the unification is severed, and both sets of championships are rendered vacant
  • July 20, 2024: Christian and the Patriarchy win the AEW Trios Championship
  • July 27, 2024: Dustin Rhodes and the Von Erichs win the ROH Six-Man Championship

AEW/ROH doesn’t need 35 championship blets floating around, and yet they had the opportunity to pare down for the sake of the others, but instead they added more, and when they had a second chance to consolidate again, they only reduced out the custom-variants of the Acclaimed, and ended up with two different six-man titles in the end.

What all this amounts to is the sheer frivolity and unimportance of six-man tag team wrestling, if their championships are going to be monkeyed around with and passed around like a blunt at a rap concert. 

It’s funny, because the WWE often got flack for their dismissive attitude towards tag team wrestling, to the point where when AEW came into existence, they made it a high priority point to emphasize tag team wrestling, because of the Young Bucks and FTR.  But whereas the WWE shit on tag team wrestling, AEW apparently has decided to basically create a six-man tag division, so that they could have something to shit on as well.

I like to imagine phone calls between Kazuchika Okada and Shinsuke Nakamura

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

A few days ago, the wrestling internet made a classic big deal over the breaking revelation that the WWE’s Shinsuke Nakamura picked up NJPW-but working programs for-AEW Minoru Suzuki from the airport and hung out together.  OMG the scandal, one of them is definitely jumping ship, etc, etc.  Internet wrestling fans are special like that.

A few months ago, there was some buzz surrounding the free agency of Kazuchika Okada, as he was wrapping up his obligations in Japan, that seeing as how he didn’t re-sign with NJPW, it was a foregone conclusion that he was definitely coming to America, but the question really was, the WWE or AEW?  I mean, if I were a betting man, I’d have put a sizeable amount on AEW, but the thought of him going to the WWE was plausible enough to where many began to analyze the sudden push of Nakamura into a program against Cody Rhodes, as evidence of the willingness of the WWE to give Japanese guys high profile opportunities.

Regardless, Okada went to AEW, and Nakamura’s push came to about as sudden of a stop as it had started, but after watching the main event to AEW’s super television show aptly titled Blood and Guts, where Okada, who was previously regarded to be basically NJPW’s John Cena over the last 15 years, was relegated to this glorified hardcore brawl, where the man was undoubtedly out of his element, and performed as such too.

The same Okada, who basically had some of the greatest wrestling matches not just in modern history, but arguably of all-time, was hanging around inside double steel cages, trying to avoid being on camera as much as possible.  All around him were thumbtacks, steel chairs, ladders, and one of his most notable moments in the match was when Swerve Strickland put a staple in his middle finger, when he was merely just trying to flip the bird because he’s an evil heel and that’s what bad guys do.

Eventually, he would be “taken out” during a commercial break that didn’t even get JR’s Restaurant Quality Picture-in-Picture™ and was hiding for the remaining minutes of the shitshow, and it goes without saying that there’s no single part of me that doesn’t feel that AEW is wasting and squandering the talents of a guy like Kazuchika Okada (and Mercedes Mone but that’s a different story).

I like to imagine a scenario where after a debacle like this one, one random evening, Okada calls up Nakamura, assuming that they’re friends because they’re both Japanese, both professional wrestlers, and have a positive relationship built when they were both in NJPW.

Okada asks Shinsuke if he saw his match at Blood and Guts, and of course Nakamura didn’t, because he’s on the road and didn’t have a chance to see it.  Okada goes into mansplain mode about how intense it was, how into the marky AEW crowd was, and all the cool shit they got to do in the ring.  Meanwhile, Nakamura responds with an unimpressed mmhmm, while he describes how he had to lose to Logan Paul at a house show in Sheboygan, Wisconsin in the second match of the night, but at least he didn’t have to land on any thumbtacks or have his finger staple gunned.

They proceed to talk about their respective lives in their respective promotions, where they both wax poetic about how they were the literal kings of NJPW, and how they’re basically organizational filler in America.  But Okada gets defensive and talks about how he’s a champion, Nakamura rebuts that AEW/ROH has like 53 active championship belts.  Okada talks about how he’s featured on television as opposed to Nakamura, but Shinsuke says he’d rather not be on television than be portrayed like a clown when he was a god in Japan just four months ago.

And then Nakamura then goes on the offensive to talk about how even though he’s an afterthought right now, he still works a soft schedule, gets to travel internationally on the WWE’s dime, and gets to experience a lot of the world, all while not having to be put in uncomfortable clusterfucks and wrestle on thumbtacks and staples.

Okada responds with the likely reality that he makes way more money than Nakamura does, but then the older and wiser Shinsuke responds that they’ve both already made big fortunes in wrestling already, at what point does all these extra dollars even matter?

And with the Okada rage hangs up the phone, while Shinsuke Nakamura scoffs and laughs at the dead air suddenly at his ear.

This is the kind of bullshit that goes on through my head these days when I’m not in dad-mode, and this is probably why I can’t even begin to start making my life’s fortune on some stupendous side hustle that would undoubtedly take off to the moon if I could just get off my ass and stop brogging about professional wrestling fan fiction.