Dad Brog (#116): TW: Love You Forever

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m not a particularly tough guy.  I cry a lot more than any grown man should probably feel comfortable to admitting, and frankly there are times where I wish I could cry even more.  Sometimes, life feels a bit overwhelming and I think about how a tremendous cry session would feel refreshing and maybe help open the emotional gates and purge, allowing me to end up in a better place than which I started, and if/when it does not occur, I’m left feeling disappointed.

TL;DR, I’m a great big crybaby. 

It’s obvious where #2 gets it from.

That being said, there are triggers for me that I’ve managed to get used to, or have hardened up in the face of, where it’s harder for them to choke me up and get the waterworks to start up.  Songs, books, memories, photos, etc, being the sentimental sap that I often am, learning that I’m somewhat of a crybaby should be about as surprising as racial violence in Montgomery, Alabama.

However, there’s one thing that has recently found its way back into the picture that absolutely murders me, emotionally, and that is the book Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch.  My household has like 400 various books for our children, and some books end up on one of the various shelves around the house and don’t get read for a while, but eventually everything cycles in and out of rotation, and recently Love You Forever came back out of the shelves and into #1’s pile of books in her room.

Prior to the arrival of #1, mythical wife had gotten a copy of it, and reading it then was an impossible task, because I could barely get past the fifth page before I was a sobbing, emotional trainwreck.  After #1 was born, and I would spend hours reading to her, I couldn’t finish the book then either, and it was probably even worse, because I was truly learning what unconditional love was with my own offspring, and I probably broke down after the first instance of the song.

Just thinking about these memories alone has already gotten me teary, that’s how potent this book really is.

But it’s back out of the shelves now, and just a few days ago, I took another attempt at reading it, to my now-three-year old daughter, who is whip smart, has a vast vocabulary and is a gamut of emotions and opinions.  I made it past page five this time while managing to keep the hose from turning on, but by the time I got to the part where the mom was unable to finish the song from old age, I was done.  I started crying so hard, I couldn’t even read anymore.

#1’s got this shit-eating grin on her face, amused at seeing dada completely destroyed by a book, wondering why he’s not reading anymore, because he’s too choked up.

“Keep reading” she says, and I’m ugly cry laughing at how callous my daughter is. 

The last three pages are as difficult as the rules to Apocrypha to complete, and I break down again at the part where the child now grown, is singing the same song to his daughter, but I manage to finish the book.  She’s still laughing at me, and I’m laughing too while sobbing uncontrollably, because I love my kids forever.

But holy god, does this book really need to come with a trigger warning on the cover.  Parents shouldn’t be subject to this kind of emotional genocide from a children’s book.

When a punny headline gives you no choice

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

NO CHOICE: Truck carrying truckload full of cans of nacho cheese spills all over I-30 in Arkansas; news outlets all over quick to bust out headline of “worst queso scenario”

Normally, no matter how tempting it is, I tend to resist glorifying truck spills from places outside of Georgia.  If it didn’t happen on a Georgia road, it doesn’t warrant mention on the brog, although I know I’ve done it a few times with the truly exceptional wrecks.

But when I caught wind of this particular crash in Arkansas, where the reporters couldn’t wait as if they were sitting on this headline, waiting for some cheese-related malady to eventually emerge, and then they all collectively bust out WORST QUESO SCENARIO and you know they were all throwing high fives and doing celebratory fist pumps after hitting publish, I just couldn’t sit on my hands and let this go without mention on the brog.

Talk about amusing this one is, with nacho cheese spilling all over a highway.  Although the likelihood of there being any collateral damage from this, because typically a truck overturning probably doesn’t have a tremendous amount of people thinking they can zip past it like they’re Dominic Toretto after the point of wreckage, but I like to imagine that if there were cars who were unfortunate enough to get caught in the wreckage, there would be a bunch of cars spinning out of control like in Mario Kart when you hit an oil slick.

Complete with the sound effects of getting slick’d.  But hey, better to spin out to a stop than to slide perilously into a costly and dangerous wreck.

Either way, entertaining and amusing is, a truck full of nacho cheese spilling all over the highways.  Even better knowing that nobody was hurt, so I guess it really wasn’t the worst queso scenario after all, but heaven forbid missing an opportunity to bust out that tagline, even if it’s not entirely accurate.

This is what it’s like when everyone knows the Mario Kart boost trick but you

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

3-2-1 GO?!  Somalia suspends chairwoman of country’s athletics federation after an embarrassing display where an untrained and unprepared runner placed dead last in a 100m sprint, nearly 10 seconds slower than the winner

Lord only knows why Somalia sent out someone so unqualified, untrained or unprepared for such an event, but if I had to guess, a no-show would have probably been worse than what they did, and they’d probably lose their spot or face some form of penalization.  Details are murky, but I’ve heard nepotism could’ve been at play, with the runner being related to someone in the decision-making process, or just completely inept planning, seeing as how a trained runner or any prepared backups were even in the building when they did what they did.

What really sucks is that despite the fact that in all likelihood it was not her fault, the poor runner is the one who is going to eat the unforgiving wrath of the internet, and be the target of all sorts of ridicule, commentary, memes and other less-than flattering outcomes.  More likely than not, it wasn’t her idea to be put in this situation in the first place, but she’s unfortunately the one who will be immortalized on the internet for this scenario.

But here it comes, not going to lie, I laughed my ass off when I saw the video.  I started snickering even before watching the video just from the synopsis alone, and by the time I got to watching the video, I knew what was going to happen, but it didn’t stop me from belly-laughing at the sheer hilarity of someone being in a situation they had no business being in, regardless of if it were their choice or not.

Even prior to the race, when you see the poor Somali runner stepping up to the blocks, everything about her stands out from her dress, stature, physique, and you just know it’s not going to be pretty.  And then the race starts, and it’s exactly what you predict is going to happen if you didn’t know the backstory behind it, and literally the best way to describe it is that it’s as if everyone knew about the Mario Kart starting light boost trick except the one person.

I know it’s not that person’s fault for being in that position, that it was entirely the result of inept leadership and people in decision-making positions that aren’t remotely qualified for them.  But I can’t deny that I haven’t laughed so hard at a video in a very long time, and I really, really needed it, and that I really, really appreciated the expense they’re coming at in order for me to have it, all the same.

Now here’s a guy that doesn’t play by the hour

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

That doesn’t work for me, hermano: Detroit Tigers pitcher Eduardo Rodriguez uses no-trade clause to block trade to the Los Angeles Dodgers; cites family and not wanting to uproot and move them in the middle of a season

At first glance, I want to applaud E-Rod for doing what he did, because I always have a ton of respect for professional athletes who see the world beyond money and accolades, especially those with families who have to think of other people than themselves but usually don’t, because they’re chasing money and accolades.  Rodriguez is entirely within his right to cite family reasons for blocking a trade, and fans of either team don’t have to like it, but need to accept that he did it.

The thing is though, in this particular situation, the Detroit Tigers are third in their division, comfortably out of contention at this point of the year, and were obviously trying to sell any useful assets like Rodriguez to start planning to re-tool for the future.  The Dodgers however, are first in their division and based on recent history, are more or less a sure-fire lock to be playing in the playoffs for the chance to go to the World Series.

It’s not like E-Rod was being traded to a team on the cusp, and would need every bit of contribution from him to fight and claw their way in, the Dodgers wanted E-Rod to help them maintain their playoff position and improve upon their playoff performance from the year prior.  For the professional athlete who wants to achieve championship glory in their careers, Rodriguez kind of let a gold-colored ship sail, even if I do have respect for the consideration he took for his family.

The thing is, trades and moves happen in every single professional sport, and are very much an everyday part of life in the business.  For every E-Rod that uses his family as a reason to not accept a trade from a basement dweller to a contender, there are 20 other trades that happen on the day of any sport’s trade deadline of guys who pull the trigger and go, either because they don’t have a no-trade clause and have no choice, or they want the opportunity to go to a contender and possibly win a championship.

Those players’ families often times just stay where they are, while the player that moves either picks up an apartment, stays with a teammate or family or friends that might be in their new teams’ cities and agree to kind of live out of suitcases for the next 2-3 months until the season wraps up, and then figure out what to do with their lives which is usually easy, because professional athlete salaries make it really easy to move around.

So what I’m really getting at here is that although it sounds all altruistic and sacrificial that Eduardo Rodriguez cites family values as his basis for not accepting a trade to the Dodgers, I also think there’s a part of his unspoken rationale that involves simply, not wanting to deal with the pressure, expectations and very likely additional workload of contender’s baseball.  Because I feel like nine times out of ten, other players in similar circumstances takes the trade, because they want the opportunity to play for a championship.

Here we have an example of a man who doesn’t work by the hour, and only wants to work the workload for the money that he is making, and nothing more than that.  By no means is he poor, as he’s making $14M this season, and has $49M more he’s contractually obligated to.  But it also sounds like he doesn’t want the immense pressure of working in Los Angeles, where the fickle fanbase is expecting another championship, versus the low-key, non-contending Tigers, where he can take the hill every five days, put up the stellar numbers he’s putting up this year, and coast his way to the end of September where his season is over, and he can begin a relaxing off-season with said family.

Either way, good for E-Rod.  I didn’t know too much about his financials prior to starting this post, but now that I’ve gotten a look at his numbers, I can’t hate on a well-paid guy that just wants to chill his way through a career, and is completely comfortable and at home pitching for a non-contender like the Tigers, and doesn’t feel like dealing with the pressure and bullshit of playing for the Dodgers.  He also probably has a reservation at Disney World for October, and he doesn’t want to give it up, because the Food & Wine Festival really is the best thing there.

I feel like we’ve seen this before

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Déjà vu: South Korea denies Germany opportunity to advance to the knockout stage in the World Cup with 1-1 draw

Shoutout to the South Korean women’s World Cup squad for doing basically the exact same thing that the men’s squad did in 2018.  Despite lackluster, uninspiring performances in their first two groups matches and in spite of being paired up against powerhouse Germany in their final groups match, they kept their heads help up high and played out of their minds, and in the process, cockblocked Germany from advancing to the knockout stage.

I’m not going to pretend like I follow women’s futbol on the regular, but I am often curious to see how the US women do, because I do enjoy the train of US women futbol players shouldn’t get equal pay to their men counterparts, because frankly I think they should get more, seeing as how they’re usually way more successful on the global stage than the boys are.  And when you have a global stage, I’ve always got an ear open to see how Korea is doing, if they’re even present at all.

When I saw that the Korean women had dropped their first two matches, I had this dread that the squad was going to exit the tournament without having scored a single goal, which would be pretty embarrassing.  I didn’t really think that a repeat of the 2018 men’s tournament was a chance, since I didn’t think there was any way that a country as proud and futbol-centric as Germany would allow for it to happen.

But unlike the men’s match that took 94 minutes to drive a knife into the hearts of Germany, the women apparently only needed just four minutes, when 조소현 scored a goal, putting the instant pressure on the Germans to not only have to equalize, but score at least two, in order to have a chance at gaining enough points in order to move on.  To add insult to injury, concurrently, Morocco scored on Columbia to tip the point scale even further for Germany, and despite them equalizing with Korea, the 1-1 tie at the end wasn’t enough to secure passage into the knockout stage, and what we have is that once again, Koreans sent Germany packing from the World Cup. 

They might have performed poorly throughout the tournament, but at least they finished strong, much like their male counterparts five years prior, left the World Cup on a high note.

At Germany’s expense.  lol’d

O pilsung corea, motherfuckers

When the photoshop drives the post

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

A few days ago, the Mets began their slow raising of the white flag when they traded David Robertson away.  Their $gabillion dollar payroll team, hilariously wasn’t working, and the Mets realized that the only way to get onto the path of recovery is to start selling, even in spite of post a historic payroll, thus proving the old adage that you can’t buy success, especially when you’re the New York Mets.

Not long afterward, the Mets successfully unloaded one of their biggest ballasts, when they shipped Max Scherzer over to the Texas Rangers.  Sure, the Mets would have to eat a massive chunk of the remainder of the money they owe Scherzer, but they did get back Luisangel Acuña, which is very much in relation to the Atlanta Braves’ superstar outfielder, Ronald Acuña, Jr., his little brother.   Obviously, the Mets are hoping the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and that Acuña Jr-Jr might blossom into half the superstar that big brother Ronald is.

Make no mistake though, as much of a pride-swallowing, crow-eating gesture that trading Max Scherzer is for the Mets, it absolutely is a big win for the organization.  Probably the best thing to happen to the organization all season.  Sure, they’re eating $35M of the remaining $58M they owe him in order for the Rangers to take him, but the $23M savings they are getting in the aggregate is a pretty big deal in the long game.

That being said, when the 2024 season rolls around, thanks to the ridiculous deferred money deal Scherzer made with the Nationals, he will be getting paychecks from an unprecedented three different MLB organizations, all of which are going to be over $15M each.  The Nationals will be paying him one of their annual $15M installments which goes all the way to 2028, the Rangers will be paying him $15M, and from what I’ve read, the Mets will be paying a $28M chunk of their remaining obligation to Scherzer, which means he’s slated to be making $58 million fucking dollars in 2024.

I don’t really know how to explain it, but he’s like the reverse, anti-Bobby Bonilla with this kind of arrangement, where he’s not going to be getting paid until the end of time regardless of his playing status, he’s somehow swindled multiple organizations to be contractually obligated to giving him massive amounts of money for a very short period of years.

But as the subject says, this wasn’t really something that I was intending on writing about, even though this is the kind of bullshit of baseball that I love hearing about, but when chatting with some bros about sports and this topic, I made an analogy about how Max Scherzer is like the Thanos of getting baseball teams to pay him money, and by somehow managing to swindle three teams to pay him simultaneously, he’s basically like Thanos collecting Infinity Stones.

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A win is a win for Union City?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Source: Union City is #1… ranked worst place to live in Georgia.  Ouch

Normally whenever some rando websites called stuff like 24/7 Wall St. make lists about places the people writing them have obviously never been before in their lives, I’m usually full of objections and piss and vinegar and snark ready to rebut with.  Because like good old fashioned your mom jokes, as much as I criticize and dog on Georgia, it’s okay when I do it, but I sure as hell don’t always like it when those outside of here take a stab at some cheap shots.

But in the case of this rating system, that has Union City, Georgia as the #1 worst place to live in all of Georgia, I’m inclined to agree.   As a former resident of the south side of the Metro Atlanta area, I can say that I lived way too close to comfort to Union City than I’d care to admit.  Close enough to where I patroned the businesses, even if I didn’t really want to be there, just because it was close and convenient to where I lived. 

Needless to say, I’m not just agreeing with the shaming of Union City just because I buy what some website’s criteria is, I’m agreeing, because I have familiarity and a lot of personal experience of just how big of a shithole Union City really is.

Honestly, I didn’t really feel like I needed to have to read it to figure out what the main factor of the poor ranking was, because Union City and crime go hand in hand like peas and carrots.  The cited statistic that Union City’s crime rate is triple the state average, seems low in my opinion, seeing as how my old neighborhood’s NextDoor feed has at least two posts a day detailing people reporting gunshots, thefts or police incidents on a regular basis.

Just driving through town feels unsafe, no matter what time of the day it is, and it’s truly tangible how your own body can feel unsafe in an environment, just by being in the proximity of the town.

And I was always just passing through, or at the very worst, going to the one Kroger that was probably the closest to my actual house.  The roads are unkept, every parking lot is full of oil slicks, glass diamonds and copious amounts of litter, all evidence of poor maintenance and riff raff behavior.

I couldn’t imagine living in Union City, because if I was beginning to feel unsafe and uneasy on the regular where I used to live, I couldn’t imagine how much worse it probably was in actual Union City.  Having firearms and guard dogs wouldn’t bring me any more easiness, especially knowing that with the crime statistics in the city being what they are, the likelihood is that criminals would be living among me at any given time.

Either way, the point is, despite the fact that often times a lot of these rando sites that come up with lists about real estate and towns and cities across America are full of WASPy and NIMBY bullshit, but in the case of this particular list, I don’t think they could’ve hit the nail on the head any better.

I’m amazed Cam Newton lets Union City tout that they’re where he’s from, because he seems like a pretty regular cat.  But I guess it’s easy to live the good life when you’ve successfully gotten out of Union City.