That’s a whole lot of words to say “because we suck”

lol’d heartily: San Francisco Giants GM Farhan Zaidi tries to explain the difficulty of signing free agents because nobody likes the city

I remember when my baseball travels took me to San Francisco, I looked forward to the trip.  Years of watching stuff like Full House and Mrs. Doubtfire made the city seem like a pretty cool place, but at the same time, as a sports fan, I was a little skeptical, because as far as baseball was concerned, it became pretty common knowledge that San Francisco was the city that was 69F all year long, and their sports fans were among the most insufferably obnoxious ones in existence.

All the same, I looked forward to the trip as I did most all of my baseball trips, because regardless of the preconceived notions, it was still a place I’d never been to before, and I always relished the opportunity to see new places.

After my trip was over, I had decided that it was a good enough trip, but as a whole, I really wasn’t that impressed with San Francisco.  Everything everywhere was ridiculously expensive, the weather really was static, and it was just a difficult city to traverse in general.  As far as ballparks were concerned, I thought Oakland’s decrepit mausoleum of a ballpark was the better place to watch a game, and the sports culture was everything I had expected before going there.  Giants clearly cared more about the scene than they did the team, and even when they were getting stomped by the rival A’s, the fans still went ballistic for the Fist Pump Cam, and I’d never felt more embarrassed for other human beings in my entire life.

Despite the hype and perception and the self-importance from those in the Bay area, San Francisco was not a city I am that fond of, and I have little motive to want to visit again without good reason.

So I was quite tickled pink to read this article where the Giants’ GM Farhan Zaidi maybe said a little too much in an interview, because he basically said that free agents don’t want to sign with his team because the city kind of sucks.  He cited a couple of things that were not at all sports-related, and the author of the aforementioned story injected a little bit more of their own opinion into the article trying to smokescreen it as Zaidi’s.

But they mention stuff like homelessness and drug problems in the city, and although they don’t expressly say it, their use of sociological factors is basically trying to skirt around the fact that San Francisco is pretty well known to be one of the gayest cities in America, and I don’t say that with any hint of criticism or animosity, after all I’m in Atlanta, which is probably right behind them in population of the LGBTQ+.

Ballplayers probably don’t care about homelessness or drug use in the city, what they’re more likely to care about it the fact that it’s an expensive as fuck city to live in, and even the biggest of superstars are going to have a hard time trying to find a place to live, having to compete with all tech millionaires and billionaires that live in Silicon Valley.  Over the last few years, there have been numerous professional athletes who have turned away opportunities to play in New York and Canada over anticipated tax costs, and gone to places like Texas and Florida where tax laws aren’t as costly, they get that granular with their money.  San Francisco and the highest real estate costs in the country aren’t very likely to be that attractive to anyone, much less professional athletes.

Maybe the more country bumpkin athletes might have an objection with living in a blue state full of the gays, but it’s more likely that what will drive them away is a city with horrendous traffic and mountainous hills where they can’t drive their sports cars around in and have any fun, but it really was hilarious that the author of the post cited being the home to Nancy Pelosi as a potential reason why Aaron Judge wouldn’t sign there.

The thing is, no life-long Bay area resident would ever publicly decry their hometown to anyone other than other Bay area lifers.  Hometown criticism is like mom jokes, as in only we are allowed to make them, but coming from outside us, fuck you.  So it makes it that much more entertaining to me, that a notable representative of the city in the form of the hometown baseball club’s general manager goes on the record to point out all the faults why free agents wouldn’t want to sign there.  I’m sure he’s going to be a popular fellow until the next shiny distraction emerges.

Naturally, at the time I’m writing this, word drops that the Giants succeeded in signing shortstop Carlos Correa to a 13-year megadeal worth $350 million.  Most interestingly about the initial details is that I’ve noticed that there are no opt-out clauses, which means I really hope Correa likes the city, because he’s going to be there for quite some time.  Hopefully he knew what he was getting himself into, otherwise it’s going to suuuuuck.

Either way speaking of suuuuuuuck, suck it, San Francisco.  Y’all are an overrated city that nobody outside of it likes.  I relish in the fact that coronavirus exposed the town more than any other in America and their ridiculous real estate market took a notable hit, and it almost nearly gets some blood flow to hear that the Giants’ own GM think the city sucks too.

Sports have too much fucking money, vol. 1,369: feat. the New York Mets

I’m not going to pretend like I pay a tremendous amount of attention to baseball news these days, but I know enough of what’s going on to know that the Mets are dumping a tremendous amount of money to try and become a championship contender.  I knew they already had Max Scherzer, and that they were paying him an inordinate amount of money for a guy that effectively plays once every five days, so it was somewhat head-scratching when I heard that the Mets went out and “won” the Justin Verlander sweepstakes, signing him to a 2-year, $86-million dollar contract, I’m thinking damn, the Mets are really locking up $86 mil a year on just two pitchers?  I’m pretty sure the Oakland A’s entire payroll next year isn’t $86 mil.*

*at the time I’m writing this, 11 teams don’t have a payroll that cracks $86 mil including of course, the Oakland A’s

Of course, on paper this has all the pundits thinking the Mets are now the odds-on favorite to win it all, seeing as how they have two of the game’s best pitchers, even if they’re going to be paying them an entire team’s payroll on top of the other 38 guys on the roster they’ll have to pay, including the $54 million to two other players in Francisco Lindor and the freshly re-signed Brandon Nimmo, so if we’re keeping count already, the Mets are paying $140 mil to just four guys for 2023 alone.

[Repeat the title of this post with me here]

They won 101 games in 2022 without Justin Verlander, and if not for an epic, late-season collapse against the Braves, should have won the division, but that still didn’t stop them from choking in the first round against the Padres.  Regardless, the addition of a talent like Justin Verlander theoretically should make a good team like the Mets even better in 2023.

Who knows, maybe the 2023 Mets, in spite of the criticism of their historic $300M+ protected opening day payroll will win 102 games, win the division and avoid having to play in the wild card round and actually have a successful playoff run?

But who are we kidding, this is the New York Mets we’re talking about, they of the LOLMets meme of history.  They could have Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander, Clayton Kershaw, Nolan Ryan and Sandy Koufax as their starting five, and they’d still probably find a way to fuck things up and fail, as they always do.  They could spend $500 million dollars and have 4+ WAR players in every position in their lineup, but they’ll still find a way to shit the bed in the playoffs and get bounced by the Cardinals or Padres or Phillies.

And the biggest thing is that teaming Verlander and Scherzer up is no guarantee, because as many casual baseball fans probably might not be aware of, this has already happened before, as both of them were on the Detroit Tigers together between 2010 and 2014.  Five years of Verlander and Scherzer in the same rotation, and zero World Series rings to show for it.  They even had help from guys like David Price and a resurgent Anibal Sanchez in some of those years.  Sure, they made the playoffs four times, but the one time they made it to the World Series together in 2012, they got swept by the vastly less-talented Giants, getting victimized by guys like Pablo Sandoval and Marco Scutaro.

What I think is funny is how just about everyone the Tigers once had all achieved success outside of Detroit.  Max Scherzer got his ring with the Nationals in 2018, Justin Verlander won twice with the Astros in 2017 and this past year, and even David Price got a ring in Boston and Anibal Sanchez was also lights out for that 2018 Nationals playoff team.

So the point is, if a young and spry Scherzer and Verlander couldn’t get the job done ten years ago, Father Time is kind of betting against 40-year old versions of Scherzer and Verlander doing it, especially when they’ll be trying on a team as accursed as the New York Mets.

If me writing about it is a temptation of fate and I end up being completely wrong, hey I’ll be glad to revisit this if I notice and care in the future and admit being wrong, no shame in that.  But if I’m a betting man, I’m siding with Father Time, and going to take the bet against the Mets.  I know you have to spend money to make money, but, and I hate to sound all corporate Braves-ey, but allocating as much money that the Mets are to just two and four players just doesn’t sound what’s best for business.

Sports have too much fucking money vol. 1,232 feat. Jason Heyward

Impetus: the Chicago Cubs release Jason Heyward after seven years of his eight-year contract

Between 2008 and 2009, Jason Heyward was one of the most hyped prospects in baseball.  After the 2009 season, he was the de facto #1 prospect in baseball.  In the Spring Training of 2010, Heyward emerged onto the radar of the national spotlight when he clubbed a home run so far, it left the ballpark and shattered the windshield of a car in the parking lot.

He was so good, he forced the Atlanta Braves to put him on the Opening Day roster instead of taking part in the traditional practice of stashing him in the minors for two months in order to ensure that they can keep him for an additional year of indentured servitude known as team control, instead of getting to free agency.

That Opening Day, Jason Heyward took the first step to immortality by launching a three-run home run in his very first at-bat.

To this day, I still consider that day and that moment, one of the most magical sports memories I’ve ever had.

He performed so well through the first few years of his career, it became very apparent that he was going to become problematic in the sense that as he grew closer and closer to free agency, he was going to command a tremendous amount of money, and as any Braves fan can explain, the Braves absolutely do not like to spend money.

The inevitable became fulfilled when the Braves shipped him off to St. Louis for his contract year in exchange for a pitcher who still had team control available to him, and Heyward unsurprisingly put up a monster year for the Cardinals.  He went into free agency in as optimal position as a player really could be in.

And the Chicago Cubs came knocking, as they signed him to an 8-year, $184 million contract.  Jason Heyward had accomplished what just about every professional athlete strives to do; make it to the big leagues and perform well enough to where you can make it to free agency and cash in on a monster megadeal.

But then something interesting happened: Jason Heyward basically forgot how to play baseball.  From the moment he suited up for the Cubs, he was mostly an offensive liability, hitting .245 and OPSing .700 between 2016 and 2022.  Almost all of his value came from the fact that he was still a reliable glove in the outfield, winning two Gold Glove awards.  That, and the fact that as a person, Jason Heyward has always been a pretty outstanding human being, personable, polite, philanthropic, and just a great teammate, as many of his peers have attested.

Continue reading “Sports have too much fucking money vol. 1,232 feat. Jason Heyward”

Win or lose, the Phillies getting no-hit in the World Series makes me happy

After the Braves got bounced from the playoffs, I mostly stopped paying attention to baseball.  There was a minute where I tangenally cared about the Yankees because mythical wife is a fan, but they were swept out of the ALCS almost as fast as the Braves were bounced from the NLDS, so it was really easy to throw my hands up and say ehh who cares to the rest of the playoffs.

Regardless, I still made a prediction that the Phillies were the team to beat, as much as it disgusts me to admit it, but most people know baseball playoffs are all about the team that gets hot, and the Phillies appear to be that team.  And I’ve stated throughout the years that there’s always a modicum of satisfaction in being right, even if it means undesirable teams emerge victorious, so even if the Phillies were to win a World Series, at least I could say that I was right about it.

Three games in, it looked like I was on the path to sports acumen satisfaction, with the Phillies obliterating the Astros in game 3 to take a 2-1 series lead.  It made me disgust face knowing the Phillies would be champions, but at least I once again look like I know what I’m talking about with baseball, but pretty much all of the momentum comes to a screeching halt in game 4.

Now there’s still plenty of time in what effectively has become a best-of-three for the Phillies to right the ship and win the World Series.  But win or lose, the Phillies have entered the baseball hall of shame, as being just the second team in the history of the entire league to have ever been no-hit in the World Series.  Even if they lose, the Astros have cemented themselves as a historical standout in the annals of the game, as one of the two teams that have thrown a no-hitter in the World Series; so years from now when people talk about the Phillies winning in 2022, there will always be someone who will pipe in ehhhh wasn’t that the year they got no-hit in the World Series?

Yes, winning cures all ails, but getting no-hit is a pretty embarrassing dishonor to have on any team.  I’ve sat through, in-person, as the Braves were no-hit once, and let me tell you, it’s a humbling and disheartening ride, as the outs tick away, and you realize that the 9th inning is going to be like the 8-9-1 hitters having the last chance to break up the no-no.

And as much as I still think the Phillies just might win it all, for one cool night in Philadelphia, I can take sadistic satisfaction at knowing that 44,000 people in Citizens Bank Park who were raucously hoping for a 3-1 series lead, instead got collectively owned as their team was, as 29 motherfuckers stepped to the plate that night, and not a single one of them were able to notch a hit.

No matter what happens in the rest of the World Series, I’ll always remember this as a positive memory.

Now this is actually just like old times

A little while ago, after I wrote about the amazing finish to the regular season, where the Braves caught the Mets on the final weekend of the season and literally stole the NL East crown right from underneath them, I had this sneaking suspicion that I was tempting fate by doing such, and that once the playoffs began, the Braves would be ripe for a good old fashioned, first round NLDS* collapse, like they had done countless times in the past.  Baby luck was no longer in play, and by acknowledging in text that the Braves were anything other than a garbage organization not worth two pennies rubbed together, I was clearly pressing the boundaries of the universe that my feelings of high on the Braves were doomed to come crashing down once the playoffs actually began.

*can’t call it first round anymore thanks to the new wild card round

The fact that the Braves did in fact, get bounced from the NLDS doesn’t bother me; after all it’s something I’ve seen happen so many times that it’s more of an aberration when it doesn’t happen.  What actually does suck is that it came at the hands of the Phillies, which is a team that I’ve never liked at any point in history, so that part does give me some sour grapes.  If it had happened against the Cardinals, I would’ve been salty but unsurprised because it seemed like the Pujols and Yadi farewell tour would’ve been very appropriate to have had run over the Braves along the way, but when they failed to close out the Phillies in the first game of the wild card series, it was pretty much all downhill from there.

More than any other sport, baseball playoffs has and will always be a game for the team that gets hot at the right time.  Because games are played so closely together, momentum can really hang and maintain in baseball, and throughout the history of the playoffs since the inception of the wild card, so often times is the World Series winner the team that just catches fire and stays on fire for a month.  Aided by the magic baby luck brought on by #2’s birth, the Braves were that team that got hot, and stayed hot, and won it all last year, no matter how unworthy of the playoffs the 88-win team really was.

The Phillies appear to be that team that’s caught fire at the right time, and amazingly they did it in the midst of a game, where they looked all but defeated against the Cardinals, but the switch flipped, they came back on the Cardinals, put them out to pasture, rolled into Atlanta, and put the Braves out of their misery too.

As much as I dislike seeing the Phillies succeed, especially at the expense of the Braves, there’s a sadistic part of me that really wants to see the Padres advance on the Dodgers, so that we have an NLCS between the #5 and #6 seeds, with hopefully the Padres going to the World Series to play against the Seattle Mariners,** in a barn burner of a World Series nobody in the world wants to see.

**at the time I’m writing this, the Mariners have just blinked first in the 18th inning of their elimination game and are on the cusp of getting eliminated  🙁

But as for the Braves, it’s back to being the Barves all over again, getting bounced in the NLDS.  Yes, it’s something that does suck, but honestly?  The good thing about a fairly fresh World Series victory, or any championship for a favored team, is that it always creates a cushion of absorbing the disappointment of future defeats.  I can still say I got to see the Braves win a World Series in my lifetime as a Braves fan and as an Atlanta resident, and because it happened pretty recently, this year’s fuckup doesn’t really irk me at all.  Being a Braves fan, it’s mostly just kind of business as usual, losing in the NLDS.

All the same though, woof, what a shitty day to have been a sports fan.  This really was kind of like a bloody Saturday as far as my casual fandoms go.  The Braves get bounced from the playoffs by the Phillies, Virginia Tech takes the L against an equally unimpressive Miami squad.  Normally Alabama getting upset is always kind of amazing, but the fact that it happened against Tennessee is irksome enough, but then realizing that their quarterback is Hendon Hooker, who used to be Virginia Tech’s QB before he transferred out and has developed into this Alabama-beating Jesus motherfucker, leaves a little bit of bitter in my mouth.

Also, I learned that Dikembe Mutombo has a brain tumor and is undergoing treatment, which hopefully is successful.  Those who know me well enough, know of my fandom of Mutombo, so this isn’t just sad because he’s kind of a meme, it’s sad because I genuinely have always been a fan of the guy.

And the cherry on top?  #25 JMU, my very literal hometown school in Harrisonburg, nationally ranked in probably like the first time ever, immediately loses to Georgia Southern, and undoubtedly that ranking.  Heavy is the team that wears a ranking, and even the Dukes couldn’t salvage this turrible day to be a sports fan.

Also, the Mariners just lost and are bounced, so there goes the hopes for a Padres/Mariners World Series. 😭

Feels like old times

But this is one of those situations where I feel like the narrative of the Braves charging from behind to basically (almost) steal the division in the last week of the season, by also vanquishing the Mets in the process is something that’s happened before, but a little bit of fact-checking myself shows that even during the streak of 14-straight division titles, the only times the Braves have pulled the magic act of winning the division at the end of the regular season has only happened twice; and only once during my lifetime, barely, in 1982.

All the same, there’s something magical feeling about how the Braves’ season has been, because it feels like something that shouldn’t have happened at all.  The Braves were in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons at the start of the year, most notably with the Freddie Freeman drama which I still feel some salt over, but like in all things sport, winning tends to make people forget about bad things pretty quickly, and winning 100 games definitely eases the sting of losing a franchise guy because the ownership is too, Braves-ey, which is to say stick up the butt cheap as fuck.

Matt Olson, the replacement to Freeman, has basically shrugged off all the expectations and the act he had to follow and delivered everything he was hoped to contribute with a 30HR/100RBI season.  Impending free-agent Dansby Swanson has gone bonkers this year is playing very much like he knows he’s about to get paid this winter, more so, the better his statistics look at year’s end.  Austin Riley has rewarded the Braves’ faith in him by delivering another monster season, and much like some of the Braves of old, the kids have come to play, with rookies Michael Harris, Spencer Strider and Vaughn Grissom playing like they hated the minor leagues and absolutely refuse to get sent back down.

There was a point in the year where the Braves were literally 10.5 games out of first, and I’m thinking, welp, we’ll always have 2021, baby luck, etc, etc, and feeling kind of liberated that the Braves sucked, and that I didn’t have to give any care to them.  But then everything started clicking, the Braves won 14 games in a row at one point, and have been playing over .650 ball after the all-star break and suddenly every day now warrants casual glances at the standings to see where the Braves stood, as they closed the gap on the Mets, who honestly never seemed like they were ever losing in their own right.

It became apparent that this final weekend series was going to be the season for both teams, and if the Braves wanted any chance at all to win the division, they were going to have to take care of the Mets themselves.  Leading up to the weekend, it didn’t seem like either team was willing to blink, and most every day was like Braves win, Mets win, no change in the standings, except when the Braves flubbed some games against like the Mariners and Giants.

And even though the records were tight, with only six games remaining, it was pretty clear that the Braves had to win the series in order to have any chance at winning the division, because the Mets’ roster is good enough to where the paper their lineups were written on were more than competent at beating the rebuilding Nationals to end their season.  Frankly, like all Braves fans, I was hoping for 2/3 games, but mathematically that was still dicey and would require a little bit of help on the back end.

But a sweep?  No fucking way.  The Braves have become a good team again, but the Mets have been the torch bearer of the division all year long.  It’s actually kind of flabbergasting that the Mets would have shit the bed at such a critical point like this, because with Jacob deGrom and Max Scherzer pitching the series alone, those two should have been automatic wins in their own right.

Like, the Mets getting swept and basically losing the division in the final week of the season, almost makes me feel bad for the Mets and their fans, and I actually kind of feel bad for wanting to go into my metaphorical storage bin of past fandoms, opening it up, opening the folder for baseball, and pulling out a sheet of paper with LOL Mets on it, because usually the meme in the past was when the Mets sucked, and they did stupid shit, not when a dominating Mets squad did stupid shit and shot themselves in the foot.

But whatever.  Dramatic comeback aside, this is still the Braves we’re talking about.  This might have felt like something that might have happened in old times, but technically the season still is not over.  The Braves have to beat the Marlins once, or the Mets have to lose a game to the Nationals for the race to be officially over, and anyone who’s watched as much baseball as I have has seen it all before, and nothing is over until it is truly over.

And with the Braves in the playoffs, there’s no telling that something that has happened in old times, could very well happen again, with the Braves getting bounced in the first round of the playoffs, and it looks like the Braves will be paired up against the Cardinals, whom usually always has their number in the playoffs, especially with Albert Pujols having a magic final season in his own right.  Or, the Braves make it to the NLCS, where they’ll meet up with Freddie Freeman and the Dodgers, and we’ll have a storyline for the ages, to where Freeman gets the sweetest revenge on the organization who scorned him, and he sends the Braves packing en route to the World Series.

Regardless of what happens in the near future, seeing the Braves have a pretty magical run to (basically) steal the division right out from under the Mets, by sweeping the Mets is something that was pretty noteworthy.  After all, it’s made it into the brog, and I definitely cherish my time and could have been watching the final episodes of The Walking Dead instead of writing, but fucking baseball is time sensitive material, since there’s games every god damn day.

Nobody hates baseball more than baseball fans.

RIP the DeVanzo Shift, you bunch of one-dimensional pussies

Ain’t that a crock: MLB votes in favor of several rule changes that will be implemented starting in the 2023 baseball season, which includes effectively, the banning of the shift

In all fairness, some of the other rule changes are fine.  The pitch clock, limiting pick-off attempts and widening bases.  The gradually increasing ADD nature of humanity can’t sit through three hour games anymore and are demanding change, and adding three inches to bases won’t really be that noticeable except to players who might not get their ankles kicked in or stepped on as much.

But the banning of the shift?  Now that’s booty.  Such a cop out.  Result of a bunch of bitches being, bitches.  The supposed greatest baseball players on the planet all suck so much at baseball and are incapable of hitting the other way so they collectively complain so much that it forces MLB’s hand to outright ban the defensive strategy that has owned them for the last decade.  Total bullshit.

I dislike this immensely.  Instead of trying to raise and develop players to spray and hit to all parts of the field, MLB has basically doubled down its catering to power hitters and is instead modifying rules to benefit them instead of telling them to suck it up and evolve their skillset back to when they were kids and probably told to use all parts of the field.

This is why on a global level, Japan still ranks above the United States in pure baseball talent.  When it comes down to it, they might not have guys who will clobber 50 homers in a season, but pretty much everyone in NPB is capable of hitting the ball to opposite field, and their collective batting average is probably noticeably higher than MLB’s collective batting average.

I still remember back in the 2009 World Baseball Classic, there was a Japan vs. US game; Roy Oswalt started for the US, and he absolutely got slaughtered by Team Japan who hung like six runs on him, without a single home run.  The Japanese hitters were basically just consistently plopping singles the other way, and Team USA just had no answer for it, and ended up losing 9-4 in an embarrassing elimination.

This, is the power of being able to hit to all parts of the field, but this is also something that we’ll probably never see in MLB, because instead of challenging players to adapt to a staunch defensive strategy, they’re just prohibiting the strategy and making it easier for players to remain fat talentless sluggers.

But most of all, I’ll never be able to proclaim “the DeVanzo Shift” again whenever an oaf like Joey Gallo steps into the box and gleefully watch a third baseman position themselves on the right side of second base, before he stupidly clubs a grounder into the teeth of the shift and gets thrown out at first with minimal effort.  In fact, Joey Gallo is probably the odds-on favorite to win an MVP award next season with the shift being neutered, and guys like Brian McCann and Jay Bruce are probably back in the cages right now, getting ready to make a comeback, knowing they won’t have to face the shift starting next year.

When the day is over, I haven’t paid hardly any attention to the game since my children have been born, but I still keep my ear to scuttlebutt.  And it bugs me that rules are being changed in this manner, not just in defiance of change, but because of the sentiment that bad behavior is being rewarded instead of inspiring improvement and betterment of the players’ skillsets, and that’s just pathetic.