Tag: ohgeorgia

I wish I could be a police officer for one working day, vol. 3

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Considering it was about thirteen years between my first and second posting about wanting to be a cop for a day so I could ticket the shit out of everyone doing illegal things that chap my ass but the police don’t actually do anything about because they’re deemed not high enough priority and that they’re using the excuse of being perpetually understaffed, I didn’t think I’d be up to a volume 3 just yet, but here we are, barely a month later.

Bicycles.  I have a fairly contentious opinion about them, mainly that the vast majority of those who ride them are hipsters, tryhards, trolls, or all of the above, for a myriad of reasons, be it guilting motorists of harming the environment, take it too seriously and making others hate them, or clogging up the Silver Comet Trail by thinking the whole stretch exists solely for them and not the hundreds of people that actually want to run or walk on it alternatively.  Sometimes it’s multiple reasons, or all of the above.

But at the same time, I do recognize bicycling as a very good form of exercise, I acknowledge the environmental benefits to it.  I’m not above doing it myself, and whenever I go visit my brother and he takes me in bicycle rides, admittedly it’s extremely satisfying going into a jam-packed parking lot on the beach for cars who also have to pay to park, whereas bicycle parking is free and abundantly available.

And frankly, there are people out there who rely solely on bicycles as their primary mode of transportation, and if it’s the difference between being a lazy drain on society versus getting out into the world and being a contributing member, pedal away, friends.

However, I suppose I take for granted that all people know the general rule of bicycles in the open world, mainly the one that says stay the fuck off sidewalks.  Because as the weather here in Georgia has gone from fake fall to something mildly not quite summer but definitely not fall anymore, people have been outside more often lately, which kind of cramps my style since I walk and/or run outside regularly regardless of the temperature outside, and over the last weeks, while I’m out and about getting my general wellness in, I’ve had assholes flying past me on bicycles on the sidewalk, often coming too close for comfort of hitting me.

It’s happened frequently to the point where I’ve no choice but to use it as subject matter for a brog post, which is to say that it’s happened way too fucking often lately and I wish I were a cop for a day, so that I could grab a lot of these cocksuckers and yank them off their moving bicycles, pin them to the ground and give them tickets for illegally riding their bicycles on footpaths.

They’re called sidewalks for a reason, not sidebikes or sidebicycles.  Yes, you’d be pissing off motorists and/or putting yourselves at risk of danger by riding in the street, but bicycles are for lack of a better term, still classified as vehicles, and belong in the streets, and not the sidewalks.  It’s selfish to prioritize your own safety from automobiles by doing something illegal like getting on the sidewalks and instead jeopardizing the safety of walkers and runners.

Also, because society is getting lazier and softer with each passing day, I can comfortably say that 90% of personal incidents of bicyclists whizzing past me on sidewalks, are e-bikes, and not just regular, pedal-powered bicycles, and they’re going relatively fast as shit, definitely with enough velocity to do some harm to a human body.

So my general walking/running route is primarily residential, but there are two specific stretches that runs along thoroughfares that do have posted speed limits of 35mph, but usually drive anywhere from 45-55mph with regularity.  One of these stretches has a curve that often causes some obnoxious blind spots, so I kind of get why any bicyclist wants to avoid the risk in those areas, but again, avoid their risk, at the expense of others, and there’s no scenario where one party isn’t at risk by the driving talent of another.

However, the law is the law, and the law in most places, including Georgia, dictates that bicycles shouldn’t be on the fucking sidewalks.  And I’m getting tired of nearly getting clipped on sidewalks by people riding bicycles way too fast where they’re legally not allowed to be on, and if I were a cop for a day, I’d ticket every single one of these shitheads for the absolute maximum penalty possible.

Oh, Atlanta #614

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

ANF: Atlanta-based Sumo Championship League (SCL) to begin debuting in October

So let’s see: Atlanta has an MLB team, NBA team, NFL team, and even an MLS team.  Scattered throughout the rest of Georgia are all four levels of minor league baseball affiliates of the Braves.  USA Soccer has chosen Fayetteville, Georgia as their headquarters.  There’s an affiliated minor league hockey team in Duluth, which is as close as Georgia is going to get to the NHL after two previously failed NHL squads that have left for Canada.  The University of Georgia and Georgia Tech athletics are both reputable athletic programs in most major sports, and even Georgia State, Kennesaw State and Georgia Southern are D-I programs.

Needless to say, there’s no shortage of athletic competition to imbibe in at any point of the year for anyone who wants to watch competitive sport.  So perhaps it might not be a bad idea to start considering using dollars in the state of Georgia for maybe anything that isn’t related to athletics, no?

What’s that you say?  What about sumo wrestling?  Georgia doesn’t have sumo wrestling?  I mean, why wouldn’t Georgia, United States have an association of a sport native to the country of Japan in it?  But what’s that?  It’s going to have sumo wrestling debuting in Georgia?  In October?  What say whaaatt??

And here we are.  Some new Sumo Championship League is about to embark, and it was founded by a dude who used to be a bigwig at WCW Turner Broadcasting, so it has some sturdy Atlanta ties, and leads to believe that the SCL could be considered Atlanta-based.

Because there appears to be a belief that there is a thirst for some real life sumo wrestling in North America.

Don’t get me wrong, I respect the sport, and the athletes that make up of it.  I don’t see a bunch of fat guys crashing into each other (like in futbol americano), I see athletes who just happen to have large mass, who play a human game of chess of trying to knock down their opponents or maneuver them out of a ring.  It takes intelligence, adaptability and actual skill in order to achieve victory, and I have seen some live sumo wrestling in my life.

It’s just that it just seems like a complete, nobody-asked-for-this kind of endeavor, where the league is supposedly valued at $25M, which means it has received about as much of that in funding, and it begs me to ask the question on how many other things in this world could $25M have better gone towards other than starting up a sumo league?

I digress though.  If the SCL starts running shows in Atlanta, preferably up where I could take my dad to some live events, it seems like something that would be interesting to check out, if the price is right.  Now if they start charging $65+ up for a completely unproven commodity from the onset, they’ve got to be diluting themselves, but if they play a smart game and offer up cheap, affordable entertainment until some worth is established, maybe I’ll go check out some actual sumo wrestling.  I’m always looking for interesting things to take my dad to go see, and perhaps we can both derive some entertainment out of welcoming some live sumo wrestling to the Metro, after all.

I suppose when you’re about to be euthanized, no-caffeine may let you live three more seconds

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

ANF: Georgia death-row inmate selects last meal, set for execution on September 16th
Let’s just cut to the chase:

For his last meal, prison officials said Humphreys requested barbecue beef brisket, pork ribs, a bacon double cheeseburger with fries, buffalo wings, a meat lovers pan pizza and two caffeine-free sodas. For dessert, he chose butter pecan ice cream and peach ice cream.

Honestly, take the whole murdering of two real estate agents out of the equation and journey to death row, and this sounds like an absolute banger of a big back meal, that would be like a final boss-caliber cheat day of eating.

The funny thing to me about final meal requests is that these inmates always ask for enough food for entire families, more than likely knowing that they have no chance at finishing everything, and the crazier thing is that the institutions of incarceration always seem to honor them.

As far as final meals go, this one does seem kind of tame.  Man is basically asking for the entire menu at like Buffalo Wild Wings, with all the barbecue items he’s requesting, as well as cheeseburgers and pizza.  About a decade ago, also here in Georgia, there was a woman on death row who requested a ton of things that seemed to have a common thread, of buttermilk and eggs, and it seemed to me that she was planning on making herself into a human atomic bomb of toxic gas, fully anticipating that once she died, and believing that the body’s functions cease and evacuate, to make the absolutely most trainwreck of a mess as possible on the way out.

This guy isn’t really going that route, even if it is the only real chance that any accused has to get the last word in with their jailers, man just wants a solid Roy Hobbs Day on the way out.

But why this is a post on the brog is that the devil is in the details, and it’s some of the details that pique my interest and inspire me to put down some words.

First, is the fact that he specifically asked for a meat lovers pan pizza, and not a whole-ass Pizza Hut Big New Yorker with every single meat option slathered on it.  I get that there is a culinary difference between the two, what with the pan pizza having those crispy edges that might be a personal preference, but if I’m on my way out, feel any sort of malice or resentment to my jailers or the state of Georgia, and know that the taxpayers are on the hook for feeding my ass one last time, I might pick the more expensive option, knowing that I probably won’t finish it anyway, taking any sort of pyrrhic victories as I can.

Instead, this dude is being quite modest with his request of a diminutive pan pizza, almost as if it were meant to be a dainty side dish to accompany his barbecue train he’s going to run.

Next we have the two caffeine-free sodas that he’s requested; I’m going to assume they’re along the lines of a cola or of the dark colored variety, and not like a Crush or Mountain Dew.  It’s funny in the sense that he specifically asked for two, and not an entire six or 12-pack, because short of going to a gas station or a Dollar Tree, I don’t even know where you can even get individual cans of soda.  More than likely, whomever is in charge of fulfilling this meal request will be stuck with leftover sodas in their possession, knowing that the missing cans were meant for a dead guy.

But the coup de grace is the fact that for whatever reason, it was specified that he wanted caffeine-free sodas.  Man is about to be put to eternal sleep, and he’s sweating having sodas that have caffeine in it before he’s put to death.  And just two – clearly trying to watch his weight and sodium intake, in spite of the 8,000mg of sodium he’ll already be taking in with his requested final meal.

When I was a kid, I was so hooked on soda, and in spite of my mom’s general aversion to supporting such a habit, occasionally I could talk her into picking up a case of sodas, provided it were caffeine-free Diet Coke.  It’s like being the absolute least offensive of the cola family made it somewhat palatable for my mom to purchase.  Plus, the gold cans are kind of baller, and it’s almost a shame that the color gold is treated as like fourth tier in the Coca-Cola hierarchy.

I suppose he’s being cognizant of the risk of elevated heart rate that caffeine has on the human body, and seeing as how he’s going to be put down via lethal injection, I suppose keeping his heart rate as low as possible when getting the needle, he might be able to prolong his life by like maybe, three more seconds. 

And if he has any inkling of wanting to remain among the living, I suppose every second counts.

The WWE fan meet and greet experience brought to you by Cricket Wireless

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Despite being a shitty wrestling fan these days, one of the things that I still like to try to do is meeting wrestling talent, and when possible getting signed 8x10s because one day I’ll have a personal space again where I can frame and hang them, and just in general, getting autographed photos is one of those things that if I don’t get them if the opportunity is there, I’ll inevitably end up regret not doing so later on down the line.

That being said, The Algorithm fed me intel about a free meet and greet that was happening in the Metro Atlanta area, where Alexa Bliss and Penta were going to be appearing at a Cricket Wireless location out in Norcross.  I don’t hide the fact that I am a fan of Alexa Bliss, and I’ve grown to appreciate Penta more and more throughout the years, so I thought to myself that this was one that I was interested in, but probably not likely to do, because of being a dad, as well as the fact that I’d heard that these meet and greet experiences, especially the free ones, typically require fans to arrive in ungodly early amounts of time, in order to ensure not getting cut off.

But then as the weekend approached, grandma took the girls and suddenly I really had nothing stopping me from attempting to brave the experience and see if I could get autographs from a prime Alexa Bliss and Penta.  The idea of waking up in the middle of the night and then have to go wait 5-6 hours didn’t seem at all that appealing at first, but the fact of the matter was that it’s not that I wouldn’t really be able to do what I’d probably have end up doing in the first place, which was dicking around on my phone, being lazy, doing Duolingo, etc.  I would however be forfeiting an extremely rare opportunity to turn the alarms off on my phone and sleep in, but again, going back to the thought of potential regret, I would’ve been disappointed to pass up on Alexa Bliss, and Penta to a degree, in circumstances where I could’ve been available.

So I made the decision to go for it, got an 8x10s of each to try and get signed, and I got my ass up at 3:45 am, with the intention of getting to Norcross as early as possible and hope that I would be far up enough in the line to where I wouldn’t be cut off, and had a chance to get autographs.

I got to the shopping plaza right around 4:30, and I came prepared based on the intel of netizens who have detailed their experiences; lawn chair, a snack, and a water bottle, despite the fact that I really didn’t want to figure out what to do if nature struck over the six hours I had to kill.  From what it looked like, I was unfortunately not early enough to be the front of the line, but it only looked like there were like 40 or so people in advance of me, so I knew I would probably be good enough to stay and wait; my biggest fear was making the trek out there, only to discover the line was already wrapped around the building, and then be immediately defeated, but at least I’d be able to go back to sleep, but I was pleased knowing that I was possibly okay.

Honestly, the waiting wasn’t really that bad.  I did my Duolingo, did my Wordle and Connections and a crossword puzzle on my phone, and caught up on the previous night’s Week 1 College Football scores, feeling disappointment in Virginia Tech for allowing VMI to actually get on the board with a field goal in spite of hanging 70 points on them, and fascination at the masterclass of gaslighting done by the NCAA and Michigan to justify allowing Michigan to get a second, and ultimately successful chance to avoid the upset despite the fact that the clock struck zero but that’s possibly a post for another time.

I made a single-serving friend with the person next to me, whom I figured out the bathroom problem, by offering to get them a Red Bull while I jetted off to the nearby QT to take care of business since we still had like 4 hours to go, and we chatted wrestling and it helped chew up a lot of time.

However, it’s when the sun started to rise and the schedule event time neared did things start to progressively go from dubious, to hairy, to dishearteningly deflating, and frankly this post probably doesn’t happen if everything were as perfectly successful as I’d hope they would be.

When it was the darkness of the 4-5-6 am hour of the morning, the temperature wasn’t bad at all, but once that sun started coming up, the heat started to rise, and the impatience of the constantly growing line started to emerge.  All the while, Cricket employees would at first just be checking in, but the manager of the place would get on the megaphone to go over some of the expected rules of the event.

At first, they pissed off a lot of people by saying that there would only be one autograph per party, so all the people who wanted to get both Alexa and Penta to sign something now had to pick; it was an easy choice for me, and I was at least satisfied knowing that I could still get Alexa’s autograph, since I didn’t know I would really have a shot at it, coming into the event.

Then, they stated that photographs would be limited to a single group picture, meaning no individual pics with Alexa and individuals with Penta.  Presumably also, entire groups had to go in at once, and no family pic, and then pervy dad alone with Alexa pic in the same group.

With each successive announcement, there would be some grumbles, none more than from this one party of like 9 in front of me that brought like the whole fuckin’ family, including the kids and presumably a grandma with a cane, and I often ask myself why I’m such a fan of something that also has such downtrodden rednecks as superfans of it as well but that would be overly judgmental of me.  I had an idea of bringing the girls to meet Alexa with me, with their tag blets, since Alexa is a multi-time holder of those specific blets, but I definitely wouldn’t have wanted them to wait 6-7 hours like I ended up doing, and I’m surprised but not surprised at the families who actually did have their kids do such.

10:30 rolls around, and nobody’s seen any limo or luxury SUVs to indicate that the stars of the appearance were there and ready to go, and as if he knew what everyone was thinking, manager announces to everyone that the talent is “en route,” eliciting more bitching and moaning, specifically from the party of 9 rednecks in front of me.  I’d learned from stories of other Cricket appearances, that talent tardiness does tend to occur fairly regularly, and as disappointing as that is, it’s a free event, that alone right there gives all associated pretty much all the leeway in the world to do whatever the fuck they want to.

Probably around 11 is when two black SUVs arrive, and it’s obvious that the talent has arrived.  But the meet and greet doesn’t happen immediately, and the sun is up and blazing, and people are getting ornery at why things aren’t starting and the line not moving.  Nosier people than me who meandered up to the front to peep inside the store were reporting that Alexa and Penta were doing photos and autographs with the employees first, inciting even more angst from those in line.

And then the shit really hits the fan, when manager announces to the crowd, that neither Alexa or Penta will be doing any autographs, and that it’s just meet and photos only.  Maybe the first 10-15 parties got autographs, and those who were coming out of the store were clearly getting way more than a single article per, and combined with the employees who got to bogart talent time in advance of all the people, now everyone started getting pissed.

Party of 9 were basically screaming NO! NO! and loudly proclaiming their protest at the news of no autographs.  It’s clear they brought the whole family, thinking they would walk away with a Kay-Bee Toys worth of signed crap, and progressively complained more and more throughout the morning about the escalation of policy.

I felt the gut punch of disappointment at the revelation that I wasn’t going to get either of my photos signed, much less from Alexa, and it was agreed that the general mood of the whole event deflated tremendously from everyone in line, many of whom had been waiting as long, if not more than I had at this point, who were going to be going home empty handed.

But again, this was a free event, and nobody asked anyone to wait 6-7 hours for this, and they owed nobody anything, since they were not getting paid.  The manager, exasperated by the sudden rage, hilariously got on his mic to remind everyone that this event was being done by their generosity.

Obviously, seeing as how I’d already burned seven hours, I wasn’t going to leave without at least meeting Alexa and Penta, so I stuck around and got my ten seconds to shake their hands, and get a few rapid-fire shots on my phone as evidence that I did get to meet them.

Also to ask Alexa who her favorite Disney princess was because my daughters wanted to know (they didn’t, but it was a good conversation starter that made her stop and think) – she said Elsa.  

Needless to say, I’m not mad, just disappointed, in the whole experience.  I’m glad I got to meet two talents I like, but like many, I’m extremely disappointed in not being able to have a keepsake in the form of an autograph from it.  I’d rather have had the auto and no photo, than the other way around, but as many have documented these events being, it truly was a cattle call to churn people in and out of line as quick as humanly possible.

Again, as it was a free event, there’s a very low ceiling to how actually mad people are really allowed to be at it, and its rapid-fire changing of policy during it, and as is often the case, I’d frankly rather pay money for a guaranteed meet and autograph, and had Alexa Bliss done a paid appearance in advance of Saturday Sunday Night’s Main Event, I probably would have done it.

I take the whole experience as a valuable educational lesson learned, in the end.  Hearing how they were and experiencing it for myself weren’t far apart, and although it didn’t cost me much in terms of money, it had a massive time cost, to which that time is so precious to me, that I’m not willing to go through with this kind of thing again in the future.

Running it back to #TRYHARDSZN

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

WSB: Henry County teenager accepted into 264 colleges, amassing allegedly over $17M in scholarship dollars

I’ll be the first to admit that I kind of shot myself in the foot when I decided to chronicle what I would coin as #TRYHARDSZN, where high school students from across the world but somehow mostly from Georgia and not just because I live here and they’re the news that’s spoon-fed to me the most, embark on this ridiculous rat race of applying to as many colleges as possible, and then silently competing against one another with how many acceptances, scholarship dollars, Ivies, or whatever cherry-picked convenient criteria they all want to flex in order to, well flex.

Because sure, going to college is a goal, but it’s become pretty apparent that it’s not the goal, when it comes all the kids that embark on this journey, and for jaded skeptics like me, it doesn’t so much impress or inspire me, so much as it rolls my eyes, raises questions, and wonder if anyone else sees just how misguided and missing the point the pursuit of college is, beyond trying to outdo one another at how much insufferable humblebragging they’ve earned the right to do.

The main question that usually comes top of mind to me is, what about the application fees? to which seems pretty obvious that all these #TRYHARDS are more than likely not paying any, because if any of them had to pay the $75-100 per I had to pay in 1999, which would probably be twice that today with inflation and white man greed, then they wouldn’t be applying to 270 schools.

But then I came across this story, about a #TRYHARD that wasn’t just the average run of the mill overachiever that applied to 75, got into 50, and amassed a respectable $3M and settled on an HBCU willing to give a completely free and clear ride.  No, this is a #TRYHARD that saw the bar, wanted to beat the bar, and embarked on a mission to do it, and then succeeded.

The article makes it pretty clear that the pursuit of college wasn’t so much the objective as much as it was to surpass the previous national record of college acceptances of 231, naturally set by a fellow Georgian, based on all the quips and observations made about this legendary-tier #TRYHARD, who applied to 270, and got accepted into 264 of them, amassing allegedly over $17M in scholarships.

Now I don’t know where $17M ranks in cumulative scholarship dollars, but 264 acceptances is quoted as being a national record, breaking the previous mark of 231 acceptances set by a girl from Georgia in 2024.  And it was a mark that this #TRYHARD was aware of:

(Their) initial goal was to reach 100 college acceptances. However, after reading about [previous #TRYHARD], a 2024 graduate of Liberty County High School who was believed to hold a national record of 231 college acceptances, [current #TRYHARD] decided to break the record.

So this kid decided to apply to nearly 200 more schools, all with the objective of breaking a meaningless record, probably unaware of the fact that the time in which they were accepted at a school and not making a decision so they can parade around humblebragging about their acceptances, kids that are waitlisted have to sit there with their dicks in their hands, waiting, while some insufferable asshole boasts about how many other schools they were accepted into alternatively.

Frankly, I’m curious about the six schools that this #TRYHARD didn’t get into.  My knee-jerk reaction is that they must have been Ivy League schools, because they’re still for lack of a better term, considered the cream of the crop as far as collegiate learning is concerned, but the fact that they are left unmentioned leaves a lot of room to assume that they could be any other school from MIT, William and Mary to University of Idaho or University of American-Samoa.

And considering their “overwhelming” academic credentials of 3.8 GPA and a 1200 SAT, I’m inclined to believe it’s more likely the latter.  Don’t get me wrong, I had a 3.8 GPA and a 1310 SAT, but I didn’t run track or do any internships, and everyone knows Asian folks get the hard-mode handicap that probably turned my credentials into like 2.9 GPA and 990 SAT and that I got into Virginia Tech because it was still pre-Michael Vick putting the school into the national spotlight.

What’s interesting but unsurprising is the fact that in the end, despite the fact that their herculean scores would have qualified them for basically a free ride at Georgia, or any other public college or university, #TRYHARD has decided to attend Knox College and actually pay money:

a private liberal arts college in Galesburg, Illinois. He has received a scholarship package worth about $260,000, meaning he owes about $5000 per term.

This typically deviates from the usual #TRYHARD journeys of people really phishing for where they could get the most free education as possible, but perhaps this one is just really eager to get the fuck out of the state.  In some regard, I can relate.

But Galesburg??  I do know of Galesburg, because it’s the home of one of the best social game restaurants I’ve seen in the past decade, as well as where Chelsea and Yamir from 90 Day Fiancé live(d?), but the reality is that it doesn’t change the fact that it seems like a shitty suburb close enough to Chicago for residents to try and claim being from there, but far enough where Metro Chicago snobs want nothing to do with Galesburg.

Whatever though.  This kind of #TRYHARDing was #TRYHARD enough to get me to actually feel the compulsion to address it, in spite of my general exhaustion of writing about them from last #SZN.  And unless anyone comes out of the woodwork this late in the #SZN, hopefully I won’t have to touch on this hashtag ever again for the rest of the year.

I guess too much salt can be a health violation

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

There is a remote possibility that at some point in the life of the brog, that I may have posted about this place in the past.  Either here, or on one of my social profiles when I was probably trying to be funny.

Either way, the thing is, I know exactly where this place is, seeing as how I used to be a resident of the south side of Metro Atlanta.  I used to live within reasonable driving distance to this place, and I in fact used to shop at the grocery store that was in the same plaza occasionally.

That being said, aside from the fact that the place is clearly named after the legendary WWE superstar/manager, it’s my familiarity with the place that adds to my general amusement of the fact that Mr. Fuji Japanese Steak House somehow managed to get a staggering 18 U rating on their State of Georgia Food and Safety Inspection score.

I mean, it seems pretty apparent that the food rating grading scale isn’t that far off from general public school grading scales.  100 the obvious goal, 90-99 is generally positively looked upon,* 80-89 being that solid B that lets patrons know that they’re still mostly safe, 70-79** being that dreaded C grade that might make a patron reconsider their choices, and anything below that would probably have someone who walked in the door turn around and leave immediately.  Frankly, that latter rating probably means the business has to shut down and address all transgressions until they’re legally allowed to operate again, but I don’t care enough to verify.

*unless your parents are Asian in which you’ve disappointed them for not just being perfect, but that you were probably 1-2 careless errors away from it

**writing this all out makes me realize that restaurant grading scales really is more Asian than American, because once you hit that C or below, it might as well be first-degree murder

So with all that in consideration, massive props to Mr. Fuji for violating so much shit that they got an almost unbelievable 18 score.  I remember back when I was in the 3rd grade and really struggling to get my multiplication tables, we had these daily drill worksheets that had like 100 math problems, and we all had 3 minutes to do as many of them as we could.  And the class had this board with every student’s name on it, and upon successful completion (80% or higher), students would get a sticker and advance to the next level.

I’m not sure how much this would be deemed acceptable in today’s standards, but like I said I struggled tremendously, and I got hung up on the third worksheet for the longest time.  One can imagine the number it was doing to my self-esteem to see the class chart when I was the last student stuck on level 3, while the rest of my class was pulling more and more ahead with each successive day. 

Eventually, multiplication just clicked for me and I would eventually go on a heater where I smashed #3, caught up to the rest of my class, and actually surpassed some of my peers before the entire introduction to multiplication drills came to a conclusion.

However, unnecessary as it was for me to write out that last paragraph beyond trying to ensure that any of my zero readers doesn’t think I’m still a mathematical luddite, backing back up to the point of why I brought up that nostalgia in the first place, there was once a day where while I was still struggling on #3 for probably the 11th time, I had bombed so badly that the teacher X’ed out the first ten or so wrong answers, and then just scrawled a giant red X throughout the rest of my worksheet, even though I did have 9×9=81 correct, because for whatever reason that one always stuck with me.

My teacher was that disgusted with my performance, that they basically threw in the towel on my worksheet that day, in exasperation.

I feel like whatever inspector came into Mr. Fuji to do their safety check, probably had to have hit a point throughout their visit, and just scrawled a giant red X on their checklist, before remembering that they were doing a state-mandated task, and then being thorough with their inspection, and writing down all the infractions as ticky-tack as “employee’s personal effects too close to food service area” to “entire planet of mutant cockroaches discovered in food storage areas.”

But 18 is a pretty legendary score of futility.  I remember teachers in the past would tell all the delinquent students who had a tendency to not do their work or turn things in outright, that a 60 F was still better than a zero in the grade book; sure 18 is going to be better than a zero for state safety inspections, but in this case, not by a whole fucking lot.  It’s like doing the SATs, writing down your name and banking those 100 points, but then turning in a blank scantron at the end.

Either way, pour one out for Mr. Fuji, as well as Peachtree City.  As a former resident there, I can tell you that there’s almost no diversity when it comes to eateries down there, and Mr. Fuji was probably one of the only places down there to get anything remotely tasting close to a flavor of the wondrous Orient, short of making it one’s self or befriending any of the Japanese residents that worked in the area.

The whitest problem since desegregation

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

WSB: City of Alpharetta proposing ordinance to provide residents relief from pickleball noise

Imagine the shit-eating grin on my face when I read just the headline of this article, and immediately trying to think of the words to best ironically describe the inhumanity of pickleball noise, ruining the lives of residents in Alpharetta, a lily-white suburb 30-80 minutes away from actual City of Atlanta, depending on the traffic.

I mean, there’s really not much to add, the headline does a pretty succinct job of painting the picture of the problem that is about as peak white people problems since Bad Bunny performing at the halftime show at the Super Bowl.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve posted specifically about Alpharetta; a few years back, there was a situation where residents got really salty about a change in policy that meant that they weren’t allowed to fly Confederate flags during a Veteran’s Day Parade, so the city opted to just cancel the parade outright.

Even in the year, two thousand and twenty-six, shit like this actually is, written and reported on.

Still though, it’s entertaining to me that pickleball is about as white people sport as lacrosse and calling cops on colored folks, but it’s gotten so overly popular to the point where the goofy-ass sounds of pickleballs getting whacked have turned heel on the people that brought them into existence, and instead of trying to fix the game, white people are doing what white people do best – try and transmogrify the laws to where they can deal with the issue while avoiding any conflict at all.