Tag: reminiscing

Dad Brog (#157): the shittiest morning possible

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Full disclosure, I don’t write this with any sort of anger or festering rage about the morning that I had, but more with astonishment that such a morning could have been had that I have no other option than to write about it, primarily to one day be able to recall this to embarrass the ever-living snot out of my child.

But long story short, one of my kids absolutely pooped all over themselves this morning while sleeping, and naturally it was me who discovered it, me who had to deal with it, and me who had to clean everything up.

For real though, I wasn’t mad about it at all, because something like this happening, the first question was, and should be, is everything okay?  The answer was quickly discovered to be yes, but it was rather a child who was too afraid of monsters in the dark to get out of bed to take care of their bowels, probably compounded on top of being in a state of deep sleep, and instead just soiled their bed and slept in it.

Regardless, given the fact that on any given morning, cleaning up a ton of poop isn’t typically a part of the routine, I had to pivot and quickly resign myself to the fact that the morning was going to be delayed, and that the recovery of my child was priority.  I took them into my walk-in shower to use the flexible showerhead to give them a nice warm cleansing, got them dressed and started with breakfast before I had to go back upstairs to really survey the damage and get to work.

White people, would be quick to declare the sheets and comforter a complete loss at this point, but me, not being white, and knowing that I can rescue these things on account of the fact that I’m not a pussy and afraid to get children’s poop on my hands, took the soiled sheets also into the walk-in shower and gave them some good scrubs, and pretty much salvaged them.  I still need to give them a through spin through the washing machine, but by the day’s end, they should be ready to be back on my kid’s bed as if there was no Armageddon in the first place.

I coached my child that they should never be afraid to call out for me on the monitor in the middle of the night if they have to go potty, and that under no circumstances will I ever be mad at them for waking me up in the middle of the night to take care of business.  Quite the contrary, I would be super stoked and happy, and I mimicked the groggy, but rejoiceful reaction I would give them should they ever take my up on the offer, and hopefully they will in the future to avoid such similar mornings.

But good lord almighty, what a nightmare scenario of a morning to encounter.  I still feel like I can smell it in my brain to this very moment.  Truly a literal, top-3 shittiest mornings of all-time in my parenting career; and honestly I’m hard pressed to even recall two other poop nightmare mornings to round out a top-3, which means this might really have been the shittiest morning of all time, by default.

I look forward to this post circling back eventually on my On This Day plug-in, so I can troll remind them of the bullshit they put me through when they were but literal babies when they’re older, so they can really appreciate the kind of dad that I’m trying to be.

Oh, Atlanta #897

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Urbanize Atlanta: legendary gentleman’s club/piece of iconic real estate aka The Cheetah to become lame student housing for Georgia Tech

A long time ago, when I moved back out to the ‘burbs, I had a moment of feeling that I would miss living and/or working within the city.  There was a piece of me that felt some sort of importance to have proximity to the city in order to have a feel for the pulse of it, and that residing outside of it would make me lose touch with all the news and happenings within Atlanta city proper.

Sure, it is accurate to say that I’ve lost touch with the general, boots-on-the-ground minutiae of the city, but it’s still entirely possible to keep up with the general main happenings in and around the city by virtue of, the internet.  There are plenty of sites and outlets that do a good job of keeping me abreast to stuff like restaurants and events, not that I have a tenth of the extroverted desires to go out in the world anymore for the most part.

But when the day is over, I just don’t really give a shit anymore about needing to know much about what’s going on in the city like I used to.  I don’t miss going into the city, and I feel no real need to have a finger on the pulse of it anymore.  The pandemic only accelerated this detachment from things, but it’s like every time I do go into the city, I’m always surprised to see new things, and alterations to the general city skyline, primarily within a 2-mile radius around Georgia Tech; encapsulating Midtown, and the at some point-christened West Midtown neighborhoods.

In the past, I used to work pretty much right next to The Cheetah, right in Tech Square.  There was a break room that I used to sit in to eat my lunch that had a window that looked right out onto Spring Street, and The Cheetah, and not much else, because at the time there was only a giant-ass dead lot that was used for pay parking.

I’ve never really been one for strip clubs, since there’s little more of a turn off knowing that the broads prancing around trying to separate you from your cash, resent your existence by being there, and a headcase like me needs to have some degree of emotional connection in order for my wires to heat up.  But all the same, I always respected the existence of The Cheetah, as it was kind of an icon of the city, often in the same breath as other notorious locations in the city like The Clermont Lounge, Murder Kroger, Center Stage, Little Five Points, etc.

Plus, I really enjoyed it when I found a random $20 bill on the sidewalk while I was passing by, and it helped contribute to my very first iPad acquisition way back in the day.

But in spite of my general ambivalence for strip clubs, it did give me a case of meh-face when I learned that The Cheetah was next on the city’s chopping block in order to make room for more lame student housing.  Like, there are so many other dilapidated and/or useless plots of land remotely close to Georgia Tech that could make for land for student housing as opposed to sacrificing The Cheetah.  And it’s not like over the span of the last decade there aren’t like 5-6 other new student housing buildings that have popped up to house all these Georgia Tech nerds.

I dunno, it just leaves me feeling sour, knowing that Atlanta seems to slowly be sacrificing all of the little quirks and idiosyncrasies that made Atlanta, Atlanta, the way they keep cannibalizing shit with character for boring ass shit like moar student housing, egregiously priced condominiums, or corporate headquarters.  It’s like they’re going to run out of insufferably elevated words and names to use for all these soulless towers at the rate they’re going, and the last time I was in the city, for a wrestling show at Center Stage, there were literally two new apartment towers that had sprouted up that weren’t there just months prior.

When the day is over, I’m not going to lose any sleep over the demise of The Cheetah.  But it’s stuff like this that makes it easier to reinforce the notion that I don’t miss being in the city or needing to be close to the city, at all.  Almost all of the restaurants I used to like to go to are all gone, and little landmarks that I could always give people ten-cent tours over are all being razed for boring shit.  It makes me sad knowing that the city that I do rep is voluntarily forfeiting their character and charm, over the need for a bunch of useless and aesthetically soulless real estate that contributes very little to the long-term life of Atlanta.

Happy Trails, Roy Hobbs

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

AP: Actor and activist, Robert Redford dies at the age of 89

Throughout the long history of the brog, I’ve been saddened by the passing of many notable figures and shared my words and thoughts for those whom have meant the most to my general existence.  I’ve stated numerous names, of individuals who really had massive imprints on my general state of life, those whom help mold, shape or have a permanent residence at the forefront of my brain.

Guys like Sonny Chiba, Dikembe Mutombo, Kevin Conroy emerge quickly, as people for whatever reason or contributions to the shit I’ve seen in my life, always maintained permanent resident status in my head, and even to this day, guys whom I’ll make references to or think about when it comes to the countless analogies and metaphors and comparisons that I make when thinking about things around the world.

Well, Robert Redford is up there on that echelon of individuals in the world that left an indelible mark in my life, and I’m feeling melancholy about hearing about his passing.  I can’t really say that I’m so much sad about it considering he was 89 years old and had clearly lived a full and prosperous life, but for those that will miss him the most, my heart goes out to.

However, I should be more specific, that my general fandom and appreciation for Robert Redford stems from a role he played in a film, based on a book that also left an indelible impression in my life, which is The Natural by Bernard Malamud.  After falling in love with the book, the movie was enjoyable, which really opened my eyes to who Robert Redford was, as he was portraying the intrepid Roy Hobbs, the former pitcher turned old rookie wunderkind, crushing home runs all over the place with this homemade baseball bat.

And although the film didn’t portray it like the book did, Roy Hobbs was a human vacuum cleaner of a legendary eater, prompting one of my oldest friend groups and I to use his name as inspiration for whenever we wanted to destroy buffets all across Northern Virginia and eat like Roy Hobbs was trying to fill the void left in his heart from the early baseball career he never had.

Furthermore, Roy Hobbs became something of a pseudonym for me through a variety of online endeavors, like the pen name I wrote through on Talking Chop and a variety of other Vox websites, and was usually my go-to when it came to utilizing an online handle on gaming platforms like Xbox Live or League of Legends.

Regardless, through Roy Hobbs I learned Robert Redford, and although Roy Hobbs was but just a single role played in a legendary career, whenever the thought of Roy Hobbs emerges in my brain, it’s Robert Redford that I see, and for that alone, made me a fan of Robert Redford.

It’s funny, because as learned of his existence was I made aware of just how much work he’s done in Hollywood, for Hollywood, and the film industry in general, but it wasn’t until really reading several obituaries and tributes to the man did I realize just how much more he did, as far as his support for independents beyond just Sundance, as well as his activism, trying to make the world a lesser pile of shit than it is on the regular.

Robert Redford was truly an extraordinary human being, and it’s like I discovered him in a reverse order sort of fashion; gravitating towards him on account of a singular role, but then learning more about him after the fact, as opposed to the other way around.

It’s a sad day in Hollywood, film and even literature to hear about the passing of Robert Redford, but at least as far as I’m concerned, he’ll always be relevant and worth mentioning, if for anything at all, being the guy who was Roy Hobbs.

Who didn’t see this coming with AI?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

A few years ago when I went to Adobe MAX, little did I realize that this would be the year in which the whole event would basically be this gargantuan circle jerk over the advancements of AI.  I mean, fuck me for thinking that I’d be able to go attend some panels and workshops and perhaps maybe learn a few things or tricks about the software I use on a regular basis, and not just listen to all these pitches about how AI is going to impact them all, feeling like one of the only clear-thinking attendees that saw that most everything was being developed with the intention to ultimately usurp all of our jobs in the near to distant future.

However, as big of moonshot ideas existed over the capabilities of AI, I knew what was more likely to occur first – a whole lot of fucking nonsense.  Like, a metric containership fleet load of fucking nonsense, especially once most AI tools, apps and functions were made available to the general public.  And it was going to be a matter of time before AI-generated content was going to permeate and eventually run rampant across the internet, mainly throughout social media, and then even more so than originally, absolutely nothing would be seen as genuine or authentic, and even more everything would be forced to be put in question on its authenticity.

I mean, we’ve crossed that bridge quite some time ago now, but it hasn’t been until more recently that it bubbled up in my mind to be worth throwing up some words onto the brog to spit my two cents out about the topic.

It’s like, most everyone probably has a story about a person(s) they’ve known in their lives that were the people who always latched onto a joke or a meme a little harder than everyone else, and well after the general heat of a joke has simmered down, they’re the ones still spamming it, referencing it, and inadvertently assisting the killing of it for others.

Yeah, if you’re reading this, you probably know what I mean.  And it’s okay to say if you’ve been that person before, lord knows that I’ve definitely been that person multiple times in my life.

What I’m getting at is that AI has made it easier for people to become those people, who overuse and help kill jokes and memes faster, and frankly it’s doing a disservice to the virality and general heat of a good joke or a meme, when looking back at something, and the sheer amount of bullshit surrounding them drowns out the original material from the onset.

For example, the Phillies Karen saga, when it first started, that shit was nuclear hot.  A perfect example of a story gone viral, with it absolutely exploding.  Video clips, internet witch hunting, just about every news outlet and op-ed in the world throwing their two cents into the well.  But then about 2-3 days later, the memes began, first through just bad photoshops, but then came the AI-generated images, where the first few were clever and fist bumps for those who jumped on the horse early, but then shit rolls downhill real fast when every would-be comic on the internet that knows how to write an AI prompt wants to try and get their jokes in for whatever attention-seeking reasons.

Ghibli-fied images.  Deep-fake videos.  AI-generated scenarios of Phillies Karen in various other movies, shows or stories demanding to be given possession of X.  Like, it’s funny for the first two seconds, but as the heat cools off, the constant stream of bad AI-generated content ultimately makes people like me wish that the original source of the meme never happened, so that I wouldn’t have to be subject to such bad abuse of AI tools to make up for the lack of creative talent that exists out there.

This is just one example of how AI is hurting the internet.  Who cares about how easy it makes students cheat in school, and how it’s acting like a miracle writer for people to lazy to do it themselves.  Who cares about how it’s able to take redundant, menial tasks and complete them in seconds, and who cares about the maybe 2-3 good things that AI has managed to accomplish.  It’s fucking with good memes and news and jokes, and this bullshit is the real lifeblood of the internet that perpetually bored scrollers and surfers need to get us through each day.

And because every motherfucker in the world has access to AI tools now, the amount of bad and lame bullshit content constantly overtakes anything real in a matter of time, and like I said, it gets to a point where you see so much turrible shit that you eventually wish the source of it never existed in the first place, regardless of how good it might be, in order to spare everyone from seeing lame shit.

As far as my opinion is concerned, the jury’s still out on if AI is still going to really be worth it in the long run.  I’m inclined to lean no, since I see it more than likely impacting my career adversely before I prosper from its existence, but one thing I do know about it now is that it’s polluting the internet with a lot of bullshit, which is pretty profound considering just how already full of nonsense it was before AI was made available to everyone.

If this man is 12, then I’m 35

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

AP: Taiwan wins the Little League World Series, riding the arm of their 5’8 wunder pitcher, who throws 82 mph

Being the consummate sports fan, news of the Little League World Series always pops up for me on whatever feeds peruse on the regular.  I was cognizant of the fact that Taiwan was in the tournament, and I had heard that they had an alleged 12-year old who was 5’8 and was hurling fireballs at 82 mph, which is the MLB equivalent of being able to throw around 107 mph, and my first thought when I heard about this kid was, a Danny Almonte.

Frankly, the Little League World Series is no stranger to parents who lie about their kids’ ages to get them in for whatever selfish reasons, but Danny Almonte was one of the most famous cases, since he was actually 14 years old, throwing 80 mph, leading his team from the Bronx deep into the tournament.  He was eventually found out, and unfortunately became the poster child for age cheating, despite the fact that it was his parents and his team that orchestrated the whole ruse.

Anyway, when I saw a picture of Taiwan’s flamethrower, my red flat went up immediately – there’s no way this kid is 12 years old.  The little man has the pizza face of that of a 15-16 year old, and at 5’8 is nearly a full head taller than most of his teammates and opposition.  And I feel like the Taiwanese were banking on the fact that people in the west can’t tell Asians apart much less be able to deduce age based on appearance, and snuck him into the tournament with the added cushion of racial sensitivity.

But yeah, there’s no way this man is 12 years old.  As the title of this post says, if he’s really 12 years old, then I’m 35 years old, it’s that egregious of a claim.  Obviously it was pretty easy for Taiwan to win the tournament, when they’re trotting out a grown-ass man to play against actual children, and it sucks for all these kids who get obliterated by a ringer, who might then start to give up on baseball and get all jaded from the experience.

All I’m saying is that if it emerges at a later date that this kid turned out to obviously not be 12 years old, don’t be surprised.  I’d like to make the joke about how you heard it here first, but one I don’t have any readers, and two I know that I’m far from the first person to be making this claim. 

#GGLLWS

Wouldn’t it be funny if

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

NPR: America Online to discontinue dial-up internet service which is still miraculously still available in the year 2025

Frankly, I’m astonished that AOL is even still in existence, much less their very specific dial-up internet service.  After Instant Messenger had the plug pulled from it back in like 2017, I wouldn’t have imagined that AOL had any product or asset at all remotely capable of keeping them afloat as a business, but here we are in the year 2025 where they’re not only still alive, but about to pull the plug on the very thing that put them on the map in the first place.

I mean, who among my general age range, didn’t ever have AOL?  It’s basically a rite of passage for elder xennials like myself, and probably most everyone could probably remember their very first @aol.com screen name slash email address.  And everyone was innately aware of the free trial CDs that were just about everywhere, and looking back at it, it worked in the sense that they saturated the playing field so heavily that for a while, internet access = America Online, much like soda became synonymous with Coca-Cola.

But before I can go down the rabbit hole of nostalgia and wax poetic all day about stories involving AOL, I’m just going to get back to the point of this whole post, and finally wrap up the title of this post because I don’t write as often as I want to lately and I can’t get myself sucked into my own vortexes of words instead of getting to the point of the things that I actually do want to write about.

But anyway, wouldn’t it be funny if, with the elimination of AOL dial-up service, it completely turns the tide of the political battlefield in America?  With the obvious implication that GOP supporters are mostly a bunch of antiquated olds who only have their internet access via AOL dial-up, and when the service is taken away from them, they lose their umbilical cord to the modern world, and either shrivel up and die sooner from boredom, or without the bullshit they currently imbibe on, on the regular, their minds actually clear up and break free from the brainwashing they’ve all been subject to over the span of the last few decades.

Like I kind of write this partially in jest, but at the same time, there’s a shred of hope of believing that this might actually come into play in the future.  The numbers (well maybe not necessarily) don’t lie, GOP voters are on average 726 years old, and short of having shitty brainwashed tech-savvier children setting up their internet, I have to make the assumption that there’s a tremendous overlap between Republican voters and AOL dial-up users. 

And since neglecting the elderly knows no political affiliation, there’s no guarantee that when AOL dial-up goes offline in September, there’s actually going to be people readily available to swap these geriatrics onto any form of higher-speed internet, and thus begins the prophetic disconnection with the modern world for these demographics, and it lowers their chances to be auto-right voters come the next election.

Yes, there are a ton of holes in this logic, but all I’m saying is that it would be real humorous to me that come 2028, the next election is seemingly way less dramatic and there’s a surreptitiously noticeable reduction in Republican voters, from a very specific demographic, and I for one will immediately point to this specific news story about how AOL killed their dial-up, and inadvertently changed the fate of the entire country in the process.

/goodbye.wav

Dad Brog (#152): I now have a kindergartener

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When people are in high school or college, when they think about kindergarteners, they probably think about kids that are babies, barely out of diapers, a stone’s throw from being out of the womb.  When people become parents, and realize that from the day a kid is born, there’s still around five years before kindergarten comes into play, and it feels like a lifetime before the kid is walking, then is out of diapers and if you’re like my kids, navigating through three years of preschool before entering elementary school.

My firstborn is now a kindergartener, and is going to freaking elementary school now.

I still remember with crystal clarity, the days and nights spent at the hospital with #1 when she was born and was kept at the NICU on account of being premature.  I remember the hospital being closed off to visitors shortly after #1’s birth because the first COVID-19 death had occurred within a day, and began ravaging its way across the entire planet.

I still remember the diapers, the apnea monitor, the first time meetings with grandparents.  I remember the first solid food, the first crawl, the first steps.  The introduction of #2 into the mix.  The revolving door of shitty nannies, feeling like life was nothing but one big shit show trying to raise two kids in a fucked up society.

I also remember all of the extraordinary things, like all the glimpses of intelligence and emotional growth.  Traveling and watching my kids experience the world and new things.  Going into preschool, and meeting new kids for the first time and learning from peers, and seeing the breakneck speed in which she began her educational journey.

And now, kindergarten.  Elementary school.  Five years later, in elementary school.  Five years more, and it’ll be middle school.  By then, she’ll probably be 11 going on 24, thinking she has all the answers to the world.  Three more years, and then comes high school where she’ll inevitably think she has life figured out, and I used to make jokes about how with each life’s milestone achieved, that she should go out and get a job next, but at this rate, such remark will become a reality sooner rather than later.

Similarly recently, I saw some memes about how now is the introduction of the 2020 COVID babies into the school system, and varying remarks about how teachers should be ready, but I can’t really imagine what it is there’s any need for concern over.  Responsible parents kept their kids safe through the worst of the pandemic, and by the time #1 entered preschool, coronavirus was way less a threat than it was initially.  She never had to wear a mask during the height of masking up, and she started preschool at the appropriate time and age, and I don’t think her interpersonal growth was really stunted at all by the pandemic.

Frankly, such a COVID-related designation to be watched and observed really should be the classes of 2032-2035, where those were the kids, already grown, who had to completely alter their school experience, starting school in-school, getting pulled, adjusting to remote learning, and then heading back.  But not my kids, either of them, as far as I’m concerned, they’re as normal as things were pre-COVID.

The point is that it’s absolutely bonkers to me that my oldest child has just started elementary school.  She is now going to school with mythical wife, as she’s a teacher there, and has conveniently placed her where she works, giving our child the ultimate in safety nets knowing that mom is in the building with her, every day.

Which is good, because #1 has expressed nerve of moving onto the next level, because she’s spent the last three years of preschool with widely the same kids every day, and now there’s not a single one of them going to be in the same class with her now.  I’ve reminded her that most of her classmates will also be going through the same thing, and it’s also exciting to be in a situation where there’s going to be so much new-ness across the board.

And it’s not just for #1 too, because of this one step for her life’s journey, is a change for pretty much everyone in my household.  I’m now having to get up even earlier in the mornings to make sure #1 is out of bed earlier and fed, because she now goes to school with mythical wife at the teacher’s schedule, and I’m basically having to make breakfast twice, since #2 is now going to preschool by herself, on a completely different schedule.

Inevitably, that’s what life is, constant change and adapting to it, but in spite of my occasional gripes of having to be the earliest riser and on point with my parenting, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my children, and I’m not mad or grumpy about having to alter my schedule.  It’s more exciting to witness the growth of my kids and seeing what comes next in their life’s journeys.