I could easily say that probably for half my life, I’ve always wanted to visit Astoria, Oregon, most prominently known as the prime filming location for one of my all-time favorite films ever, The Goonies. But seeing as how I live in the southeastern United States, and Astoria is about as far northwestern as they come save for the state of Washington, such has always been somewhat of a logistical challenge.
Adding to the difficulty is the fact that frankly among the people in my life, nobody else has been interested in making this trip. Mythical wife, nobody in my family, or any of my friends, really has had any desire to go to Oregon, much less Astoria, the small coastal town that’s 90 minutes away from Portland, the closest major airport to get there. I almost managed to talk several of my friends into it a long time ago when a brother of mine got married in Olympia, Washington, but most of us got so smashed at the reception that we were too hung over to make the daytrip the following day.
So I decided that for my birthday this year, I was going to stop hoping other people would try and wow me with things that I don’t even know would do the job, and to just do something for myself, instead of having another birthday where I end up feeling droll and melancholy when the day winds down. I decided to make the trip I’ve wanted to make basically my entire adult life, by myself. I wouldn’t have to inconvenience anyone to make a trip they’re not fully in on with me, and I wouldn’t have to feel bad about any traveling companions’ feelings or preferences that might alter my own.
Months ago, I began my planning, and started making bookings in Oregon; where I was staying, a rental car, and booking an actual flight instead of trying to play the standby game for a trip that I really had my heart set on. Originally, I had the idea of making the trip on my actual birthday weekend, but it just so happened that my birthday collided with Wrestlemania, and of all the things that could make me want to postpone, that was adequate enough.
It was kind of surreal when my actual birthday came and went, and I was suddenly closing in on the trip that was definitely a bucket list trip for me. It was finally happening, I was finally going to get to go to Astoria, and do the whole Goonies thing; see the Walsh home, which I had innately watched throughout the years go from being owned by a tyrant who hated Goonies fans, tarping up the whole place, to being flipped to a Goonies fan, who not only welcomed the fandom, has apparently made it a mission to restore the house to its 1985 camera-ready 80’s-tastic aesthetic.
Go to the Astoria County Jail which is now the Oregon Film Museum, see the ORV that was always parked out front, and make the journey down to Cannon Beach, to see Haystack Rock, where the opening and closing scenes of the film took place. And of course, while I’d be there, do some other, non-Goonies/film things like see the Astoria Column, the Astoria-Megler Bridge, and seek out new food and try local beers.
So I’m writing this while sitting in the terminal at PDX waiting for my redeye flight back to Atlanta, and I can say that by and large, the trip was a great success. I got to do and see all the things that I had wanted to see, and although the weather was a bit on the nippy side while I was here, I planned for it adequately enough and it did not have much bearing on my experience. I saw pretty much all of Astoria, which isn’t saying a tremendous amount as it is not a very large town by any stretch of the imagination, and there were times where I was like, well what now? because I had accomplished all of the few things I had wanted to accomplish, so I found solace in coffee, beer, relaxation in my hotel room with an entertaining book.
What I found interesting about my whole experience is that I grew and lived my life under the belief that Goonies fandom was pretty niche, and that I was definitely in the minority of people who become fans of anything when it came to how much I loved the film. Everyone in my life always treated me like I was the weirdo, who was fixated on such an old film, and how I always made references and comparisons to it throughout my life.
Obviously, the internet has shown me that I’m definitely not alone in being a massive fan of the property, but it really isn’t until visiting Astoria did I see just how big of a deal The Goonies is capable of being. I think it would be safe to assert that there is a notable chunk of Astoria’s commerce that is impacted solely by the fact that the town is the primary setting for The Goonies.
Seldom was there a business, from coffee shops, bars, breweries, antique and vintage stores, artisan merchants and restaurants that didn’t have some sort of Goonies paraphernalia displayed or for sale. Shirts, caps, stickers, magnets, pins, you name it, there was Goonies shit just about everywhere in Astoria. From the people I would speak with, it’s clear that Goonies fandom accounts for a notable amount of tourism, foot traffic and general commerce throughout the town, and I’m hard pressed to imagine the fate of Astoria if the Goonies never happened, or happened somewhere else.
Based on all the Oregon Lottery signs all over the town, I almost got this Severance Lumon vibe that the lottery kind of fills in the financial gaps where the Goonies and film industry falls short, and I can’t tell you how many of the restaurants and bar front types I went to also had Keno and/or slot machines at them. But I think it’s safe to say that a large chunk of the town is dependent on Goonies/film industry traffic, as well as the amount of foot tourism brought in by smaller cruise lines.
But in the grand spectrum of Goonies fandom, I always thought that I was a big, big fan of the film, but after spending a full day and change in Astoria, I realize that I’m pretty much not quite there, in comparison to others out there. Although I didn’t see any myself, a guy that works the coffee shop right near the Walsh house was telling me stories of some Scandinavian Goonies fans who showed up in full Goonies cosplay so they could stand visit the Walsh home. When I visited the Oregon Film Museum, notes on their visitor board were pocked with people and entire families from all over the globe who were all there primarily for the Goonies. All throughout the town, were people wearing Goonies apparel and merch, and here I was not doing so, thinking that it would be tantamount to wearing the concert shirt to the concert.
Perhaps it was all the criticism I received in my life, or maybe it’s just the fact that I’m a big grumpy hipster at heart, that makes me temper my fandom, to where I can’t show it like other Goonies pilgrims do. Or maybe I’m just not nearly as big of a fan as I always thought I was throughout my life. But I did just make a sojourn to Astoria because of the Goonies, so I guess I’m still above average in my fandom.
Either way, I wind this post down by declaring this bucket list trip of mine a great success. I set out to do something for myself for once, even if it meant traveling completely alone. TO visit somewhere I always wanted to, and to not have to concern myself with other people for an entire weekend. I deliberately kept this on the downlow, did not include any others, because I wanted a weekend where it would be just me things, where the successes and failures of the trip would fall on me and me alone.
Astoria is a fantastic place, I’ve always appreciated the Pacific Northwest for what it is, and I got to see everything I set out to see. I didn’t sleep well, but it was no fault of my accommodations, as awkward as communal restrooms and showers were, I was in the heart of Downtown Astoria, where I could walk to all the food and beer as I wanted to and did, and I enjoyed plenty of both. Cannon Beach and Haystack Rock were beautiful marvels of nature, and I treasure the fact that I’ve seen all the things I wanted to.
If anything, I wish I cut my trip shorter and took the afternoon flight out so I could get home sooner, but a trip like this is a learning experience for me too, and it’s always kind of a pain in the ass traveling PST to EST due to the time change. Inevitably when I solo travel again, perhaps it won’t be three time zones away, but I have a better understanding of the things that are important to me on a trip and what really isn’t anymore.
But in the end, I can confidently say that I’ve succeeded at crossing an actual bucket list thing off. It really is that big of a deal to me, because I really don’t have a tremendous amount of things that are so me-first like this was, so it really is that important to me, and I’m pleased to know it all worked out as well as it did.
