Today, I went to a Borders, because I have absolutely no books left to read, and there was no way I was going to hop on the plane back to Atlanta tomorrow morning without something to read.  Firstly, I guess this is one of those regional differences that differs noticeably between Atlanta and Fairfax, but there are a lot more people who occupy the courtesy chairs and are actually reading.  Instead of looking for places to lounge while  their significant others are scouring for books.  Asian kids, Indian students, and various other people of Middle Eastern descent are scattered throughout the store, with actual books, and not a bunch of fake Goth teenagers reading manga in the chairs and aisles.

Here’s my thing – I’m not working right now, and my funds are dwindling and honestly making me worry a little bit these days.  The count of white hairs on my head is distressing, and has become like this Ouroboros of anxiety that just creates more.  I haven’t really relaxed in quite some time.  But all those factors considered, I realize that I just can’t sit down in bookstores and read entire books.  I’m the fucking customer that book stores should love.  I don’t treat them like libraries and sit around and loiter and get my fill of reading without paying for it.

Yet it has nothing to do with reading in public, because when I’m at the airport, or Starbucks, or even any sit down joint during lunch, I have no problem pulling out a book and reading in front of other people.  I guess I have this idea that the concept of sitting around and reading at book stores is kind of what hopeless people do.  If you have the genuine interest in what you’re sampling, take it to the counter, and purchase it, and read what now belongs to you.  I don’t have a ton of money these days, but I still can’t fathom actually taking advantage of the unwritten honor system of book stores, and trying to fill my head and kill my time for absolutely dick, inside the confines of a book store.  I think it’s a cheap thing to do, and that’s something I don’t really want to come off as.

But to each their own, and if my life keeps heading in this dry spell, then even getting to the book store in the first place is going to be the least of my worries.