Month: February 2014

Tears don’t come easy for this cowboy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I was in the midst of one of my low points of my latest funk, I was sitting there in my room feeling crappy and alone and helpless and that my life was shit and going nowhere, and there was a part of me the felt like perhaps some tears were necessary.  I was by myself and there would be no shame in shedding tears in front of nobody, and frankly I thought that it might be therapeutic or something like that.  So I’m sitting there, and trying to manipulate my emotions to where I’d be sad enough for the faucets to start dripping.

They didn’t.  They never came.

A long time ago, when I was like 14 or 15, I was pretty involved with my church.  Obviously it all changed when I got my driver’s license, became disenchanted with the bullshit hypocrisy of the people I went to church with, and grew tired of how superficial and petty people were in a place where acceptance was quite literally preached.

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The day the joke died

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In the grand spectrum of the wrestling industry, Nelson Frazier, Jr. was nothing substantial.  Most people have no idea who Nelson Frazier, Jr. was, including myself, because we remembered him as names such as “(King) Mabel,” “Viscera,” or “Big Daddy V.”  Some might even classify him as a glorified jobber, since he never held a major world championship, or even a mid-tier championship, and frankly, did his fair share of jobs throughout the majority of his career.

In spite of his marginally accomplished career, the news of Viscera’s passing still prompts me to write something about it, because the existence of Viscera was always something of a positive note in my life, and to actually lose him now is somewhat of a sour note worth sharing a few words about.

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Negativity

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I hate my life right now, and I don’t know what to do about it.

I feel so utterly alone these days, and I don’t even know where to go where to find people I trust to discuss my problems. Family is out of the question because I cannot discuss anything with them without the underlying judgment for my life’s decisions. I don’t want to burden others with my mental weight, or I don’t frankly feel comfortable enough attempting to unload my problems with just any people.

Any attempts I make at trying to do something good, something fun, or anything that might bring me back to a happier place are constantly derailed. Be it the weather, conflicting schedules, things I perceive as inconsideration or selfishness of others, or just apathy on account of being depressed, I just am having a real difficult time in shaking this funk.

The worst part is that I’m fully aware that the trapped feeling I feel is imposed upon me by nobody but myself, and there’s the chance that I’m being too cautious about being too careful with those around me. I feel like I’m always in a state of walking on egg shells, and that everyone is tippy toeing around egg shells around me themselves.

I want to scream and yell out all my problems and hope that someone hears me and can be a stereotypical pillar of a personal support structure, but at the same time I don’t want to clarify issues and drop names, because I don’t necessarily think that solves anything either. So I remain quiet and stewing, which I know isn’t healthy either, but it seems like the safest bet until a better solution arises.

Underlying all these issues is the inherent fear that I’m turning into my dad; a miserable, solitary island of a man who may have felt all these things at some point in his life, but like me might constantly feel that bottling it up is better.

Life is not good right now. I am unhappy and I don’t know what do to about it.

What would the country be like without stores?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was reading this article about how CVS has decided to ditch selling tobacco products (which I support wholeheartedly), and how supposedly such a radical business philosophy change came about on the idea that Amazon is essentially after their market.  Not going to lie, that’s a terrible description, and admittedly, I stopped really reading it once the initial thought popped into my head upon seeing the line that was along the idea that Amazon was basically killing brick and mortar stores left and right.

Now I can’t say if Amazon is attempting to take over the world of consumer commerce with malicious global domination intentions, but for all intents and purposes I do like Amazon a lot, in terms of what they provide.  These days, there’s pretty much nothing out there that I can’t see, and think think “hm, I wonder what it costs on Amazon,” find it on Amazon, cheaper at that, and oho, it’s also Prime eligible.  It’s the epitome of convenience and cost-effective efficiency these days for things that you do not need to have in your hands in that very second.

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Inevitable

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It was my original intention to have traveled this past weekend, but due to Icepocalypse, that couldn’t happen.

Not to say that I didn’t salvage a busted weekend with a little productivity and helping out some other friends, but I really did have my heart set on gorging on pigs and flesh of lesser creatures on the food chain.

Naturally, the weather was gorgeous, sunny, and not at all intolerably cold the entire weekend, and looking out the window would make anyone believe it was inconceivable that it was a gray, dreary ice blanket outside just a few days ago.  Furthermore, in spite of all the condemnation of Hartsfield Airport due to the mass cancellations during Icepocalypse, and despite that my destination was showing oversold flights, it turns out that I would have made it out fairly easily had I just gone and tried, probably due to people having given up earlier, drove instead, or re-booked and the software didn’t account for it.

My response to such details can only be summed up in the above animated gif I had the time to create, alternatively.

The anatomically impossible boots

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I saw these boots on eBay, I thought “man, I should get these boots. They’d be great for all the times I’ve said I wanted to dress up as a wrestler at Dragon*Con or Halloween time.” So I purchased them; after all, they were only like $40 bucks, and would make a perfect accessory for a jokey costume or be the missing component for any belt-wearing wrestling outfit.

So when the boots arrived, I was super excited and pretty much put everything on hold after I got home from work until I tried them on. I put my right foot into the boot, and found it to be an adequate fit; slightly tight, but I figured after wearing them a little and a break-in period, that they’d be just fine. So then I attempted to lace the boot up, and that’s when the honeymoon ended.

Pictured to the right is my leg in the boot. The foot fits just adequately, as mentioned above. However, everything else, not so much. Not even close. The boot is laced as tightly as they can possibly be, and every lace and loop is tightened as much as they can.

If I had another right leg and didn’t have a foot on it, the stump would fit like a glove in the extra space that the leg of the boot provides.

“Not even close” doesn’t even come close to describing these boots.

“Not even seemingly humanly anatomically possible”, seems more accurate.

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Being a fan again

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The ending to this past week’s Smackdown was probably the best ending to a Smackdown there has ever been since the program came on the air in 1999.  Never in a million years would I have actually thought that [don’t-call-him-Antonio] Cesaro would get a clean win over Randy Orton, no matter how much I preferred Cesaro over Orton any day of the week.  I totally expected Orton to kick out of the Neutralizer and hit some hackneyed RKO out of nowhere for an infuriating victory.

But he didn’t kick out, and Cesaro got a clean win on national television.

I actually came out of my seat at that moment and pumped my fist at that.  I’m 31-years old and cheering over the result of a professional wrestling match.

As a fan, I think this was a win on the level of Benoit winning the world title almost ten years ago for me.  Seriously.

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