Month: September 2020

Is this the worst era of politics ever?  Yes

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Occasionally, there are things that go on in the world and in the lives of people in my own little bubble, that I wonder if these are things that every generation goes through.  Take for example, as my general generation of people are all climbing out of their 30s and some into their 40s, we’re entering stages of our lives where peoples’ parents begin to ascend into ages where life expectancy is nearing their ends, and there’s occasionally the somber conversation that comes up where family members have passed away.  Undoubtedly, this is something that every generation goes through, as Father Time is unbeatable and everyone eventually goes.

But the inspiration of this post is unfortunately politics.  It doesn’t take people with the power of enhanced sight to see that it’s a powder keg of a topic and the most volatile thing to possibly discuss in the world these days, and there are people who are smart enough to keep their mouths shut and keep their opinions to themselves in public, and then there’s everyone else who just can’t manage to shut the fuck up about politics.

I didn’t imagine the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg would have bothered me much, since usually the passing of anyone in Washington is met with who cares indifference.  But RBG meant a whole lot to a lot of people, and even casual news followers like me had heard plenty about her stances, accomplishments and general grit and determination throughout her career and her life.  And seeing the reaction of many of my internet friends, both female and male, about their general disappointment at her passing, puts into perspective for people like me just how big of a loss this is to a country that desperately needs strong people like her in it.

As sad and as much of a loss it was with RBG’s passing, what predictably happened next was no less nauseating and disappointing, no matter how inevitable it was; in spite of the fact that in previous instances of a justice passing away in an election year, their replacement was held off until after the elections, but shocking nobody, the baked potato and his cronies are going to do everything in their power to fastrack another hand-picked stooge to fill RBG’s seat as fast as humanly possible.

This, has unfortunately overshadowed the news of RBG’s passing, as this administration has the power to take absolutely anything in the country, and turn it political, obviously ruining everything it touches.

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Quarantine Hair

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The last time I got my hair cut was January 10, 2020.  Obviously, I looked up old bank statements to find out precisely when the last transaction was made to my barber, but I knew it was way back a while because I remember the disgusting growth of my hair throughout the weeks into months after my child was born and ‘Murica descended into the endless pit of pandemic.

For obvious distancing reasons, this could not be rectified at all for a period of time, and I genuinely had concerns that my barber, who is a one-person independent operation, might actually be in jeopardy during the initial onset of coronavirus and the sheer nightmare it was wreaking on small businesses across the country.  I entertained the idea of experimenting with my own clippers and perhaps doing something on my own, especially seeing as how I rarely leave the house as it is and nobody would see any abominations that might’ve happened before it could grow back in, but with a kid in tow and life getting turned upside down, my hair was barely a concern.

As some might recall, Georgia was basically the first state to rashly drop most distancing guidelines and our idiot governor was very quick to allow for haircuts to be one of the services to be allowed back, regardless of the endless spike of infection cases throughout the country.  Despite the fact that I had a green light to go get my hair taken care of, there was a large part of me that simply refused to go along with it, because I frankly did not agree with the notion that barbers and salons were “essential;” they were more catering to the vanity of people who feel the need that their fucking hair is worth putting human lives in danger.

So, for months, my hair has been growing and becoming quite unruly throughout the process.  For a while, I was still able to keep somewhat of the spiky faux-hawk look that’s kind of become my general look, but eventually the length began to defy gravity, and it started to become the long wavy mess that it becomes when it gets too long. 

A part of me was tickled at the idea of trying to grow a man-bun since full disclosure, I actually don’t mind the way a lot of them can look.  But that would likely have required longer than a year to really accomplish, and frankly when I get flustered, anxious or stressed, hair getting in my face is one of the easiest triggers of aggravation there could be, which is why I went short every single time I even thought about letting it grow out.  Plus, my hair is really thin to begin with, so even with tied up, it’s a small yield of fluff that doesn’t seem worth it.

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When kids make grown-up money #2

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I have a hard time answering whenever anyone asks what I want for my birthday/Christmas.  For those people whom I do exchange gifts with, I imagine it’s extremely aggravating having to shop for me; shit I aggravate the piss out of myself whenever I want to do my own recreational for-me shopping, so I know this is fact.

So back in April, when my sister asked what I wanted for my birthday, I actually had an answer for her: I wanted a Tyrannosaurus Rex Dinozord that I’d seen existed.

I am nearly a 40-year old man, and I wanted a toy back from my grade school days.  Like when I got my DragonZord figure a few years back, and ultimately my MegaZord a few years after that.

Anyway, the issue with this is that the price of this particular toy remake is that the price has a tendency to fluctuate, as it seems to be available in only places that are not the United States as if America needed any more reasons why I’m beginning to think we suck on a daily basis.  During the holidays, I’d seen it dip down into the $50s, but at around April, $100 was the typical going rate.  I implored my sister to keep watch and she basically told me to keep watch and let her know if the price dipped to something more reasonable.

Long story short, it dipped down to $65, and my sister pulled the trigger on it.  However, this also coincided with the biggest spike of coronavirus across the fucking planet and the seller was in Japan and explained that JapanPost was no longer sending to the US for the time being, so that the shipping would be on hold indefinitely.  But as I am nearly a 40-year old man with no rush on when this toy should arrive, I told my sister to hold out and wait it out.

That was back in April.  Needless to say, after like July it seemed pretty obvious what was happening; the seller was making shit up to get my sister to refund and cancel the order, so that the guy could relist the toy back up to $110, where it seems to have spiked back up.  If it were up to me, I’d have held true and maybe gotten Amazon involved to see if they could strongarm the dick in Japan to pony up, but my sister is not me, and she instead just got the refund and gave me a $65 gift card.

Slightly dejected at not getting my tyrannosaurus Dinozord, I went on eBay to see if I could test my luck.  And lo and behold, I found some figurine collector in France who was selling the same toy, brand new, for $50~.  And to sweeten the pot, I had just gotten an email from eBay to congratulate me on being an OG member back from 1999, and they gave me a $25 coupon code, so now I was in a position where I couldn’t not buy this thing.

Anyway, my T-Rex dinozord arrived today, and I’m quite pleased.  It’s amazing the lengths and money I expend in order to acquire things that ultimately just end up sitting dormant on shelves or walls, but damn it, they make me happy.

But the best part about this new toy, was the evident ability to compare it to the old toy.

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New Father Brogging, #021

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As my paternity leave winds down, I naturally feel like the last six weeks have blown by, and that I wish I had more time.  Mentally, I’m not really that prepared to return to work yet, but it’s not like I really have much of a choice if I want to be able to provide for my family, other than to suck it up and get back to it.  But I definitely wish I had more time, without a doubt.

Overall, the last six weeks have been mostly anything but easy, as raising a child is definitely no small feat, and I should be fortunate that I even had the luxury of paternity time in the first place.  As necessary as it most certainly felt to me, the reality is this is something that my company did not have in place when I first started there, which wasn’t even a full five years ago.  I remember the big deal it was within the company, and even getting some national news traction about how when we went full paternity, and thinking nothing of it back then, because I wasn’t even married yet, but having capitalized on it now, I couldn’t be more grateful to work for a company that offers it, because I know that such is not the case everywhere else.

But throughout my paternity leave, my child has grown a bunch, begun eating solid foods, competently rolling over front to back to front, has graduated out of swaddles, and has been teething, chatting a lot more, and we’ve begun trying to get her to sit up on her own strength.  One of my prime hopes was that while I was off, we’d be able to get her into a casting call for some sort of baby company, and put her to work a little bit, and once she actually did get put on a shortlist of candidates, but then they hit us with the curveball that all babies would be required to be able to sit up on their own power.  Bummer

Aside from baby-ing, over the last six weeks, I managed to get my brog back up and running, although it’s an indeterminate time to whether when or if I’ll ever get the pre-2010 archives back up and running, because that’s way lower priority than the brog.  I also had some house issues, when some freakish storms exposed some leaks in my home, which turned out to be a time consuming and costly ordeal in its own right, which really messed me up, and I also found out that my own dad has been having some minor health issues on his own, leading to my sister and I to have some real talks about the inevitable future.

Needless to say, it’s been a time during paternity leave, and it’s hard to comprehend that these six weeks have evaporated so quickly.  Put being on full-time daddy duty 10-12 hours a day, with next to no help and practically no down time for myself, and it’s been very understandable when people try to expound the difficulties of parenthood.

To reward myself and/or indulge in some retail therapy, I decided to get myself a new belt, as well as track down my own belated birthday gift, in this sweet Power Rangers T-Rex DinoZord.  And the belt is mostly as a result of an Amazon gift card my sister got me for my birthday when her own attempt to get me the T-Rex stalled out due to a flaky seller in Japan, and much like Target gift cards, I’m left with a wtf do I purchase, until it came to my attention that Amazon actually had a few people selling legitimate belts.  So now I have a Ring of Honor tag replica, that guys like Kyle O’Reilly, Bobby Fish, the Young Bucks, Hardys, AJ Styles, Kevin Steen Owens, Cesaro, CM Punk and Seth Rollins have held in their histories.

And modeling the belt is my new life-long tag team partner.  As intensive as some parenting might have felt at times, I wouldn’t take anything away from the last six weeks, and I’m sad that it’s likely I’ll not get another massive chunk of time like this to spend with my child for the immediate future.

It’s hard to even describe the cringe of Randy Orton apparel

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Perusing through my news feeds, I came across this story that detailed how WWE wrestler Randy Orton has apparently released a clothing line, known as SLTHR; presumably as in “slither” because his in-ring persona is that of a snake-like aggressor who cannot be trusted and strikes quickly. 

After looking at his announcement image for five seconds, and the painfully low-effort design of Old English typeface, and the horrible utilization of the no-vowel spelling of words as if we’re trying to go back to Aramaic, and my face literally did the Steve Carell from The Office face meme.

Holy shit man, it’s hard to really put into words just how terrible the idea of Randy Orton clothing is.  It’s awful because in all the years Orton has been on screen in non-gear attire, it’s always douchey bro clothing, and it basically validates the blurred line between character and person that Orton’s personal clothing line is basically the same kind of crap.  It’s awkward because as much as Orton loves to pick fun at wrestlers with indy pasts or those who he feels has not made a respectful amount of money in their careers, a guy schilling out his own apparel seems a little desperate to be making more money himself.

And it’s just plain bad, the way it looks, how it’s branded, and how it’s “announced,” over social media.  If the one shirt is any indication of what any other products are going to look like (I can’t under good consciousness make any conceited effort to check out the rest), I wouldn’t be too optimistic.  I’ve never actually see anyone wear a WWE-licensed Orton shirt in public before, not even ironically, so I have a hard time believing anyone would be willing to actually spend real money and purchase much less wear Orton’s SLTHR crap either.

Another funny thing to me is that this is barely a week removed from where Vince McMahon himself put the company on blast, to tell all wrestlers to stop using their WWE gimmicks and likenesses to try and profit on shit like Cameo, Twitch or any other third-party creative outlets.  Orton is notoriously infamous for being coddled and protected by the WWE, and numerous wrestlers past and present have all insinuated all the rules he’s been allowed to bend and outright break, on account of his privilege, and this is turning into a glaringly prime example of just such.  Sure, “Randy Orton” is actually Randy Orton’s name, and there’s nothing against the rules of him using it to sell his own shit, but the optics of this combined with the eggshells all his other peers are walking on certainly doesn’t help the overall picture.

Overall, just everything about this is cringeworthy and turrible.  For a guy that is currently being billed as the greatest wrestler of all time, it reeks of desperation, and much like Orton himself, seems so very flat, boring and completely lacking in creativity.  But hey, if there are any wrestling fans out there that get put into the friend zone of anyone they’re unrequited crushing on, at least now they have an official shirt that can wear to really drive home the reality of the situation.

New Father Brogging, #020

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As many parents of babies go through, I change a tremendous amount of diapers.  It is nothing that has ever worried me the least bit about impending parenthood, and I don’t really see what the big deal is all about honestly.  I’m thinking it has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve been a pet owner for the better part of the last 20+ years, and cleaning the pee and poop of animals has conditioned me to where baby human excrement seems like nothing at all, especially since it’s mostly encapsulated inside of diapers.

Anyway, what I wanted to new dad brog about today was the fact that over the span of the last six months, I’ve gotten to give some pretty good sampling to several baby wipes varieties out on the market, and I think I’ve become somewhat qualified to be able to rate and impart my opinions on my zero readers, in case the day comes in which they are in the market for baby wipes and decide to use my ratings as a baseline to sway their opinions.

I judge based on performance criteria, and not necessarily cost; mythical wife had gone through months of cerebral couponing and deal-hunting to stock up on baby supplies prior to the arrival of our child, so the factor of cost was somewhat irrelevant by the time we got to starting to use all the supplies that we’d hoarded, plus it’s safe to say that at no point have we ever paid full price on any baby wipes.

So the things that I judge baby wipes are on:

  1. Thickness – too thin and you’re wearing excrement; too thick and you might as well be trying to wedge a beach towel into the sensitive areas of your baby
  2. Softness – the softer the better as babies’ skin is delicate and gentle, especially down there
  3. Moisture – too little and you might as well be using sandpaper, too much and you’re leaving too much moisture which could lead to irritation
  4. And most importantly, when your baby has exploded, and you’ve only got one hand free because the other hand is holding their legs up so they don’t dip their heels into feces, how well the packaging dispenses, because I’m convinced that they’re all perfectly engineered to sense urgency and make it impossible to pull out anything other than the entire fucking package when all you need is one at a time

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The entertaining absurdity of baseball rules

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When mythical wife showed me a picture of the score of this game, my jaw kind of dropped.  It turns out that 29 runs is some sort of National League record, that I don’t really have the motivation to look up the finer details of.  All I know it’s not better than the 30-3 thrashing that the Texas Rangers dropped on the Baltimore Orioles some time ago, and doesn’t quite erase the stink of the 20-2 drubbing the Yankees dropped on the Braves in Turner Field’s final season.

But anyway, of course I’m entertained generally pleased by any Braves win, but it’s not the 29 runs scored that amused me the most, or the seven home runs they clubbed en route to their scoring barrage.  No, a nerd like me finds amusement in other parts of the box score, like the fact that the starting pitcher for the Braves, Tommy Milone, didn’t get the win for a game in which his offense dropped 29 runs on the opposition.

In fact, as satisfied as I am any time I see a W for the Braves, it’s actually very much a bad and concerning thing that Tommy Milone allowed eight runs to the Marlins.  It’s not every day that the Braves are going to score 29 runs, much less ten runs, much less five.  But lost in the pandemonium of the Braves blowing up on the Marlins is the fact that their own starter was pretty abysmal in his own right, and he absolutely did not deserve to get the win in this game, and I think the Braves did the usual Barves thing during the trade deadline, and went after a jobber like Milone to fill in their pitching rotation, instead of going after a starting pitcher that could really fortify their chances to capitalize on the short season.

Instead, the win goes to Grant Dayton, a reliever that I’ve never heard of which isn’t difficult considering how far off the baseball radar I’ve dropped off, but anyway, he gets the win, solely based on the rules of Major League Baseball which states that the pitcher on the mound while the team has the lead and finishes out the 5th inning, is the guy eligible for the win.

Basically, this is the equivalent of going into arcade, walking up to the six-player X-Men arcade game, where five other players are at Magneto, he’s already blinking red and close to death, and jumping in as Dazzler because nobody ever played Dazzler, hitting him once with your mutant power blast, and taking credit for beating Magneto.

That’s basically what Grant Dayton did.  By no fault of his own, of course though.  Tommy Milone sunk $7 worth of quarters into X-Men and stunk up the joint getting past the Blob, Juggernaut, Wendigo and White Queen, and needed a bunch of people to come carry him through the rest of the game, with Dayton getting the credit for beating the game.

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