TL;DR – smarmy New Yorker declares people who order their food online in advance are ruining lunch for everyone else

I know the topic of Chick fil-A is a contentious one for a lot of people.  Yes, they are/were run by some weird religious shitheads who are/were homophobic and probably also racist, and have been caught numerous times having donated money to some other hate-mongering shitheads and legitimately organized hate groups.

But their food is still delicious, there are two Chick fil-A’s within extremely convenient distance from my house, and I’ve got two kids that suck up all of my time and energy to where I have literally no time at all for myself, much less time to eat, and when I’m at a crossroads of Chick fil-A or starve to death, the chicken of bigots still wins out.  Sorry not sorry, is what the kids say these days, I hear.

Furthermore, Chick fil-A’s app is pretty much the greatest app on the face of the internet.  It’s smooth, has a clean and tidy interface, it’s smooth, executes clearly and without any bugginess or lagging, and it’s fucking smooth.  In less than 20 seconds, I can place an order and have it sent to one of the nearby CFA’s, and all I have to do is drive up and pick it up, and I barely have to interact with any of the eerily cheery teenagers and don’t have to do any exchanging of currency in person.

Not going to lie either, it gives me a semi whenever I show up to the restaurant, and pick the correct drive-thru lane, where I can check in and bypass multiple pleebs in the other lane, stumped by some luddite who doesn’t know what they want, needs a minute, and is paying in cash in person (and usually isn’t wearing a mask and is probably white but that’s besides the point here).

The point is, ordering food in advance and rolling in and picking it up is the true way of the future, and those who haven’t adopted it, or are not willing to adopt it, are fucking living in the past, and deserve to get owned for not getting with the times.

This smarmy Slate author and all the other pleebs he was in line with, deserved the loss of their lunch hours, for not having the wherewithal to be decisive and be prepared, because the pandemic only accelerated the timelines in which online ordering in advance was to become the more efficient and practical way to order food.

Chick fil-A has an outstanding app, but I’m definitely no stranger to using third-party apps or the restaurants’ sites themselves to put in my orders in advance.  Like Uber Eats or BeyondMenu, most of these sites will have no additional fees attached for pick ups, because you still have to get out of the house, drive somewhere and make a physical pickup, but most of the time, it’s still more efficient than waiting for someone to deliver, and usually cheaper too.

But the point is, those who are decisive and know what they want, deserve to be rewarded with the ability to get in and get out faster than those who want to rely on spontaneity or are indecisive on what they want to eat.  And if pleebs don’t want to get stuck in lines behind invisible customers, they need to both get with the times and learn to be more decisive in figuring out what they want to eat before they even put their shoes on and walk out the door.

Otherwise, I will continue to relish in skipping lines everywhere I go, to grab my pre-ordered, pre-paid shit, and be out the door while they’re stuck waiting, and getting owned.