One of the best parts about the largely mid Bad Blood PPV PLE was when Triple H came out to make an announcement, which turned out to be about one of the Saudi Arabia shows that pretty much nobody in the Western Hemisphere gives two shits about let alone recognizes as being remotely canonical in the WWE storyline ecosystem, and there were noticeable boos coming from the crowd.
Atlanta, it’s times like these in which I am proud to be one of us.
Seriously though, to top it all off, they unveiled a brand new blet, dubbed the Crown Jewel Championship, that would be awarded to the winners of the respective champion vs. champion matches between the men’s champions and the inferior gender Arabs hate but pretend to tolerate and give rights to in order to futilely gain acceptance from the rest of the world women’s champions.
And of course, I fucking hate them, as much as I fucking hate the Saudi Arabian shows that the WWE continuously forces down the throats of its viewers like they have the ability to single-handedly erase centuries of primitive cultural behavior. Notice that unveiled was only a men’s variant of the Crown Jewel blet, contrary to the week prior where they unveiled a men’s and women’s rebranded NXT championships.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if there were no actual women’s Crown Jewel blet created, but Hunter going on live television and proclaiming that there would be one, forces the Royal Family to shell out a small mint to create a women’s variant of it, lest the almighty accusations of false advertising and poor optics ding their already-fragile reputation to places outside of the Middle East.
On paper, Cody Rhodes vs. Gunther should be a pretty good match, but as is often the case at these Saudi shows, it’s like the talent knows they don’t have to push the gas all the way down, not to mention that they’ll probably be in like Jeddah or Riyadh where it’ll be 104F outside, so they’ll err on the side of caution, and the match will feel neutered and nowhere near as good as people know it could be, if it were at like Wrestlemania or SummerSlam.
But Liv Morgan vs. Nia Jax for the women’s Crown Jewel blet? I enjoy Liv, appreciate her love for the business not to mention the snack she is to eyes like mine, but there’s no way she’s going to defeat Nia Jax, without a tremendous amount of monkey business from maybe the recently returned Raquel Rodriguez. Even if Tiffany Stratton cashes in and steals the title away from Nia before the event, Liv vs. Tiffy doesn’t sound as good to me either, because as high as I am on Stratton, she’s still green and I’d rather her first championship reign come when she’s a little bit more ready for it than I think she is now.
So once again, Nia will probably come out on top at a Saudi show, but in a different perspective, I guess it’s good that the E utilizes Crown Jewel to be the place to burn a stinker of a program, so that it doesn’t have to be run in a place that might actually appreciate it.
I’d really love to see both Liv and Nia come out in boring, sterile putty patrol-gray outfits with no personalities, as sort of a protest for the gross second-rate Sharia law bullshit they have to adhere to. And also, after Nia defeats Liv, she gets blind-sided by Raquel and then Tiffy comes out, cashes in, and basically walks out with two blets, with the Women’s championship as well as the bullshit Crown Jewel blet.
No matter though, I don’t really care who wins what at this bullshit show, because I’m long past over the E tryna make Saudi Arabia a thing. There’s no way in hell I’ll be able to watch it live, even if I wanted to, in my dad schedule, and if I’m not watching something live, I’m inevitably going to skip through 80% of the show when I watch the replay later, because ain’t nobody got time to watch every single minute when the finishes are just a few clicks away.
Also, what does this new blet mean for Braun Strowman’s ugly-ass Saudi blet he won at the “Greatest” Royal Rumble? Does this replace it? Is it a separate title? Does it matter? Does anyone actually care? Nah.
