Comics and character assassinations

When I was growing up and was really getting into comic books, like many of my time, the X-Men were the cream of the crop.  My favorite character was Gambit, and as a young romantic at heart that tried to hide behind a tough adolescent man exterior, I was all aboard the Remy x Rogue ship when reading comic books on my own. 

I would say that the peak of that comic book fandom was probably about 3-4 solid years, between grades 5 through 9, where somewhere in the middle, anime came into the picture and that fandom ramped up, while American comics phased out.  Amidst that period of time however, I enjoyed a lot of major storylines and arcs that really got me entrenched in X-fandom as well as Marvel by proximity.  X-Cutioner’s Song and Fatal Attractions were probably my favorite arcs, but I was all about large-scale crossover events like Infinity War, as well as one of the last things I really remember following, Onslaught.

Throughout all this time, I had lots of solid opinions and my mind waffling around lots of feelings about particular characters, and when it comes to one my life’s beliefs that life is way more relatable to professional wrestling than normies want to admit to, comics and wrestling overlap tremendously more than what comic fans probably want to admit to as well.

However, there was one opinion that did not waver at all, once it came to fruition: Cyclops was a pussy.

It didn’t matter if it were when he was being Cyclops, leader of the X-Men, or when he was just plain Scott Summers, the (in my opinion) unworthy main character level tier white guy with red sunglasses who seemed to always be at the center of attention when it came to a lot of my favorite storylines.

He was a big white guy dork with lame powers who shot lasers from his eyes, Gambit and Wolverine were clearly presented as better fighters, and yet all the hunnies wanted him, having all sorts of complicated romance/lust relationships with sexy telepaths from Jean Grey, Psylocke to even Emma Frost.  Mr. Sinister was obsessed with him, Apocalypse and Stryfe basically made him the center of attention in X-Cutioner’s Song, and for whatever reason, despite being the lamest X-Man of them all, Cyclops was always in the thick of things.

The cartoon didn’t do him any favors, giving him the whitest man’s voice, and presenting him as nothing but this tactical cheeser who just stood from afar using his optic blasts to fight with.  And later on when Capcom got a hold of a partnership with Marvel and Cyclops started appearing in their fighting games, I always raised an eyebrow against Cyclops and took enjoyment in beating him up, regardless if it were a human or an AI opponent.

This was all before I learned and understood what character assassinating was, but once I did, it became apparent that it seemed like few in comic book lore had dealt with such severe character assassinating as much as Cyclops has.

Bring us to present day, and a litany of writers, creators and artists have done yeoman’s work over the last decade or so, repairing a generation’s worth of character assassinating on Scott Summers.  He’s still kind of a square, but they’ve done a pretty impressive job of tightening up his general lore, clarified the specificity of his powers, shown him capable of actual combat beyond spamming optic blasts, and the kicker being that at the time I’m writing this, he’s broken kind of bad, very much coming into his own thoughts and belief systems, instead of just clinging to the dreams and ideologies of Professor X.

If there’s one consistent throughout storytelling, the most compelling antagonist-type characters, are the ones who believe what they’re doing is right, and live in a gray space, instead of just being flagrantly bad for the sake of doing supervillain shit.  I feel that that’s where Cyclops has ended up in current character development, no longer restrained to always let everyone live and save everyone, and isn’t afraid to ramp up the aggression to get shit done.

And it’s pretty great.  I don’t think the appreciation for where Cyclops is ending up today really could happen the way it is happening, if he hadn’t been dragged through the metaphorical mud for decades, and presented as the ultimate boy scout, before turning him heel.

He’s basically the Marvel Comics equivalent of Hulk Hogan turning to the dark side, and in a way, his current iteration of mutants under his charge carrying the X-Men name are kind of like the original nWo, in terms of pecking order.

However, with the rise from the ashes of one character, the scales have to be balanced somewhere, where someone has to be knocked down, and that brings us to Professor Charles Xavier, who seems to be having his character assassinated, both in actual canonical storylines, as well as general fan perception of him from the various mediums he’s portrayed in.

Like in the comics, sure, he basically destroyed the minds of a lot of his opponents, mainly Magneto, and he always does it in the name of saving the world to some capacity, but as time passes, his visions of the world inevitably fail to come to fruition because humankind is a hateful species and resent peace and unity until their dying breaths, people end up growing resentful, impatient and nihilistic when it comes to the hopes for peace by Professor X.

Characters like Cyclops begin to come to their own judgments that Xavier’s visions and hopes are pipe dreams, and after eons after eons of failures, retcons and a sheer lack of progress, eventually they evolve and move on in directions that might yield better proof than constantly being passive and playing defensively throughout life.

Also, the whole Professor X was in love with Jean Grey in spite of their controversial age difference storyline seems like a silver bullet to the heart as far as trying to assassinate his character goes, beyond any of the mind fucking and failure to progress previously mentioned.

The rebooted X-Men ’97 didn’t do him any favors, reminding everyone that he faked his own death to go live in the stars with the Shi’ar Empire, get jiggy with Lilandra and basically hand the keys to mutantkind to his greatest frenemy Magneto, and when he was busted and came back to earth to summon “my X-Men” before Bastion and his Sentinels fuck over the planet, but of course he goes and fucks Magneto in the head again, and on a long enough timeline, I can get why people begin to favor Magneto over Professor X.

The memes are pretty great, like fans pointing out how many times Xavier basically mentally makes Magneto re-live the Holocaust throughout the series, as his go-to move to neutralize Erik, and asking who really is the villain in this situation.  Also pointing out how many other guys he does the same thing, in making them re-live their biggest traumas on the spot as his most effective way of putting an opponent down, and it does seem kind of fucked up as opposed to just beating them up in physical combat, in spite of his handicap.

And kind of unrelated, I was thinking in the car, of just how ironic it is that Professor X has been rendered incapable of walking throughout the entire history of comic books, despite the fact that the Marvel Universe has probably 5-6 actively viable solutions to solve his inability to walk, from like Tony Stark making some sort of robotic replacement legs, to Dr. Strange and the mythical, maybe using Dormammu magic to give him his legs back, to when he had remnants of the Legacy Virus in his system which somehow temporarily gave him the ability to walk.

I get that Professor X is also symbolic of representation in comics, of having an extremely powerful person with a handicap to inspire readers that handicap ≠ incapable, but I don’t know why I didn’t think about it until recently that choosing to not capitalize in a universe where solutions are numerous, just kind of makes him a whiney martyr, just adding to the whole Professor X is actually an asshole narrative.

What it all really boils down to is that in today’s Marvel Comics environment, Cyclops is somehow kind of cool now, and Professor X is basically the biggest villain in the entire universe.  He released Onslaught after mind-fucking Magneto for the fifth time, nearly wiping out the Marvel Universe, and it’s taken several retcons and reboots for the jaded writers of today to run with the whole, maybe Professor X really isn’t that great of a guy narrative, and here we are today.

Funny how on a long enough timeline, the Harvey Dent line of ‘you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain’ is so applicable to the evolution of many comics out there, with the X-Men being no exception.

Nothing says ‘I still got it’ than pub-stomping some high school girls

MLB: 52-year old Ichiro Suzuki twirls a 127-pitch complete game shutout against an all-star team of Japanese high school girls in an exhibition game, striking out 17.  Also collected two hits as a batter, in a 7-0 win

When I saw this news start to pop up on my feeds, I thought that this was an instance of old news coming back to the surface, and was ready to get on the internet offensive and accuse some pleebs of old news, get with the times dork.  But it turns out that this game of mostly old and retired Japanese pro players versus the best girls high school players in the country exhibition actually did happen again, and apparently this is a thing that occurs every two years, and has been the case for a while.

If it’s been going on prior to 2019, I don’t have the slightest clue nor do I care enough to check, but it’s news as of then, solely because of the fact that Ichiro has been participating in these matches since then.  And for the fourth time out of five appearances, Ichiro has thrown a complete game shutout, and nothing is probably more validating to his aging masculinity than taking the pitcher’s mound and suffocating a bunch of teenage girls for a the better part of a decade.

In one hand, it can be said that Ichiro is showing these girls the utmost honor and respect by not pulling any punches and going out and tryharding as much as he and most Japanese workaholics often are capable of doing.  But in the other hand, he may be retired and inactive in Major League Baseball, but Ichiro is still one of the greatest of all time, and probably the greatest of all time to come out of Japan (for the time being), and aging will do way less to his ability to play baseball than it would be like some fat undisciplined flash in the pan like say Prince Fielder, post-career, and even though he’s 52 as of 2026, he’s undoubtedly still better at the game than the best girl high school players in the nation.

Although I highly doubt the overly polite and respectful Japanese would possibly think Ichiro and all the other former MLB/NPB pros stomping high school girls is a dick move, my American brain tends to think that there’s a modicum of dickishness to a bunch of former professionals going out and dropping hammers onto a bunch of girls vastly their juniors.

Unsurprising, Ichiro dominated the living piss out of the high school girls, again, and the funniest-not-entirely-funniest thing about Ichiro’s participation in this game is that this is now is fifth game where he’s appeared in, all of them as the only pitcher, and he’s now pitched a total of 45 innings, 5 complete games, 4 shutouts, and has an ERA of just 0.06.  He has at least 43 strikeouts, because I can’t find the strikeout totals from 2019 and 2023, but even if he had zero in those two games, his K/9 rate would be close to 10 as it is, which is considered elite.

In one regard, this is probably the honor of a lifetime for all the high school girls, getting to play ball with some of the greatest to ever play for the country, but at the same time, it’s meant to be an exhibition, not taken so seriously, and where they’re getting 9-17 runs hung on them.  Like, if you’re trying to inspire confidence in the youth of tomorrow, clobbering them for 10+ runs in a meaningless game isn’t really going to help.

But in the end, I suppose if eating the lunch of a bunch of high school girls is what Ichiro needs to do in order to remain active in the game, then so be it.  I still maintain that when the day comes when he’s no longer able to be involved in baseball, he’s going to go on a murderous rampage, so anything that keeps him in the stratosphere of the sport, means safety for humanity.  I mean, look at his face from this year’s game when he came to the realization that one girl had collected three hits off of him; when the day comes where Ichiro can’t play anymore, and his murderous intent comes out, the name Rin Fukuda will probably be high on his list of targets, for embarrassing his honor by collecting three hits, and a steal.

Looking forward to the 2028 edition of this game, where a then-54 year old Ichiro will probably still be ready to pitch another complete game shutout, and I can only hope by then, there’ll be some cocky female slugger who’s salivating at the thought of facing Ichiro and is ready to clobber a dinger into the Tokyo Dome rafters, just so we can all see what Ichiro’s reaction is going to be.