I know that I was disappointed that the Atlanta Dream lost in the WNBA Finals, but I came across this observation recently, and it was like the layup of topics that got the ‘ol dad brain firing and wanting to get some words out onto doc, and here we are.

I was tangentially aware of the existence of Kaitlyn Chen, as a fellow Asian, these kinds of things are typically spoon-fed to us via The Algorithm, and it’s cool to see any sort of Asian representation, even in an oft-criticized league such as the WNBA.  I didn’t know of her history, where she went to college(s), but I saw a pretty tall girl who was playing on a WNBA team, and wasn’t just like some Yuki Kawamura-like Asian mascot meant to move merchandise in Asian communities, but a more actual contributor for the Golden State Valkyries.

The thought of her didn’t cross my mind again until more recently when I saw her name in headlines when the Valkyries took game 4 or game 5 of the WNBA Finals, from some Asian community wanting to talk about how an Asian person was on a team vying for a championship, and I was all like ohhh yeah, that chick is on the Golden State team.

But after the Valkyries had won the championship, I saw this (above) fascinating factoid about the history of Kaitlyn Chen, proclaiming her to be the “Perfect Asian Daughter” and the gears immediately began churning, and the jokes began to write themselves unconsciously, because if you’re going to proclaim something like perfect Asian daughter, you better believe that there’s going to be a tremendous amount of return fire.

It’s best if you can imagine all of these quips being spoken in the angry, aggressive broken Engrish that of a stereotypical overbearing Asian parent:

• Princeton? Why not Harvard, or Yale?
• Why no Olympic gold medal?
• Did you start game? (no)
• Now you have basketball success, time to go be doctor or lawyer
• Still wish you were more like Jonny Kim

And then there’s some observational humor that is no less entertaining:

• Her parents are now only sort of disappointed that she didn’t end up as doctor or lawyer
• RIP to Kaitlyn Chen’s cousins who will have this bar to always be compared to

And of course, there’s the unfortunate old-world take of Asian parents who don’t take nearly as seriously the success and accolades of daughters as they would sons.

I would never follow in that pattern, but the point remains that such is the reality for those super ingrained in the culture.

All the same though, as entertaining as the whole train of thought was, undoubtedly the joke about Kaitlyn Chen being the perfect Asian daughter couldn’t possibly have been imagined up by an actual Asian person, because Asian daughters get the raw end of the deal most of the time and no really Asian parents would consider their kids much less daughters, anything remotely close to perfect.  Even Jonny Kim’s parents probably have a laundry list of wishes and failures that they wish upon him in spite of all his life’s achievements.