So I was sitting on a rocking horsey at a party recently, sipping on a Miller High Life. I can’t say this line of thinking was a result of the aforementioned scenario, because I do know it’s been on my mind for a little while now. I was people watching, and thinking about just how fascinating some people really can be, but also thinking that I don’t know any of these people. How would I get to know these people?
Obviously, I’m not exactly the most socially graceful person on the planet, and I lack the charisma to be able to inject myself into others’ conversations and interactions without being completely paranoid that I’m coming off as a creep-o or feeling unwelcome. So most of the times, I don’t make an effort at all, and probably give off the impression that I’m anti-social or ambivalent to others.
To get to the point, lately I’m feeling like my line of work is kind of socially inhibiting. I look around at the people I know, and so many of them work for cool places, or at least, places where they can potentially meet like-minded people, relatable people, and people who might have even the potential to be cool and worth knowing aside from an at-work relationship.
Me on the other hand, I work for the state, I’m 30 years old and still the youngest person in the office. Since I’ve been at my office for approaching two years, I’ve witnessed five individuals cash in their lucrative, state-earned retirement plans and actually retired. There are two people who have had old-people surgeries and limp around the office regularly, one person who retired due to failing old person health conditions, and two people who limp around on rehabilitation boots. Putting all this into text, I could give the impression that I work in a senior citizens’ home as opposed to a state office.
Needless to say, there is nobody at my office remotely close to being more than at-work chums with. My closest co-workers are all late-30s+, parents, and have little concerns in their lives other than the well-being of their families. And I can understand that. But for someone at my aging age, personality, and social standing, I sometimes feel that I work at a pretty lame place.
I took the job because it is definitely secure, it’s government, it has government benefits, including all of its holidays (including Confederate Memorial Day), and its lucrative retirement plan. The nature of my work is feast or famine, but when it hits its moments of famine, I have incredible amounts of downtime to pursue other creative outlets, meaning I can brog and write about baseball or restaurant reviews to my heart’s content, or just fuck around on the internet for hours a day.
But mostly, I took the job because I had been a freelancer for seven years prior, and I was frankly getting sick and tired of it. I was tired of contracts expiring, not knowing if I would be getting paid next month, or next week, and the general overall uncertainty of my future, when I was bouncing around from job to job, all around the city. When I wasn’t working, I wasn’t getting paid, and really, I just wanted some stability in my life as I entered my 30s.
Now that I have the job, I’m for the most part more satisfied. I have some comfort in knowing that I have a fairly predictable schedule and routine by default; I can go to the gym, I can plan my eating habits, I know just how much I’m driving around the city on a regular basis, and so forth. My office is located in a pretty central and convenient part of the city, and isn’t a terribly horrendous commute; made even better that Jen and I carpool for most of the weeks.
Without any question, I have a very good job, and I am definitely thankful that I have a very good job.
But why am I so heavily pondering the idea of stretching out my wings and possibly looking around? Ultimately, it’s one of those grass-is-greener scenarios, where I’m thinking that I could possibly get my foot in the door with somewhere with a generally cooler atmosphere, with younger, more interesting people than what I work with on a daily basis now.
When I was a freelancer, I did have the benefit of essentially sampling many of the varying agencies, offices and environments throughout Atlanta. There was some excitement in knowing I was trying and seeing new places on an irregular basis. Often, I compared which places, which locations, which offices had the coolest environments, most interesting people, best looking women, convenient locations, etc, etc. Many times, it was on a Fight Club-like single-serving basis, but there were always interesting people closer to my age at many of these places, and even my dating life was more active during this time, in the few instances where I met some appealing women whom I’ve apparently chased off in my wake by now.
And I look around at my friends now, and see that they’ve made more friends and acquaintances through work alone, that I can’t say that I’ve been able to do myself, due to my daily mundane government office environment, filled with people all older than me, and at vastly different stages of life than me. As I firmly believe, we live in a more introverted, closed-off society than ever these days, and if it’s not the internet, apparently it’s work and places we’re forced to be, like work and school, where apparently people tend to sow and cultivate most interpersonal relationships these days.
Despite the fact that I have legitimately pondered in my head leaving my job and going elsewhere in pursuit of upgrading my social life, I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t. My job right now is very secure, very beneficial, and as I mentioned, very good. My talents are well respected, and let’s face it, the job market is still putrid, and I’d frankly be retarded to try and jump ship, just because I want more friends, interesting people, and girls in my pond.
But it doesn’t mean that I can’ t at least think about it. It really is one of those weighing-the-options scenarios for me, because frankly, where I’m at now is definitely solid, beneficial and good, but damn if it isn’t mundane, unexciting, and just plain socially stagnating.
