Typically, I tend to leave most sports talk out of my brog, because frankly I know that the majority of the 12 people that actually read my swill aren’t necessarily sports fans, or even care to read about sports related things. Typically, I also never really felt the necessity to use my brog as an outlet for sports talk, because I’ve always had an outlet for talking about sports; and by sports, I mean baseball, because other athletic contests are second fiddle anyway.
Over the span of the last four years, I wrote for a Braves blog, Talking Chop. I went under a pseudonym over these years because I’m skeptical like that and wished to keep my identity somewhat separated from the rest of my life, but it’s not like anyone paying attention didn’t discover my real name at some point. Writing for TC was an enjoyable experience as I was able to interact with baseball fans all over the place, and share thoughts and ideas, as well as expand my horizons as it came to baseball statistics, analysis and the minor leagues.
I’m leaving Talking Chop. This coming Saturday is my last scheduled post, and I’m leaving on my own fruition. I know most of my brog readers probably couldn’t give two shits about this, but to me, having done this consistently over the span of the last four years, leaves me with this melancholy feeling of change; separation from a long and consistent routine. I’m glad to be freed up from the occasional feelings of obligation to write about baseball, but at the same time, I now really have no true outlet to ramble on about baseball if I ever felt like it.
It might sound lame, but the decision to leave was a lot harder than I thought it would be. But the guy who ran the place decided that he was leaving, and it suddenly put things into perspective for me, and I began to think “If he can leave, why couldn’t I?” And once the idea was planted, it began growing like a magic warp zone vine from Super Mario Bros. And even though I almost talked myself out of it twice while writing up my resignation, it all boiled down to the fact that I guess I just didn’t feel like doing it anymore.
But it doesn’t change the fact that I feel the necessity to talk it out, and since there’s really nobody I can do that with, to the brog it goes.
Over a span of four years, lots of things change. People change. Baseball changes. The site changed. Since I’d been a member of TC, I’d witnessed two overhauls and two site/network-wide restructurings. The world of business and traffic-generated revenue began to become more prevalent in communities where people wanted to talk about baseball games and all the minutiae that went along with them. Along the path, the site began to feel like it was losing its path, and the community itself began to dilute, disperse and divide. Those who didn’t like it, simply moved on.
And throughout these last four years, my own take on baseball itself began to change. It’s not like I don’t enjoy baseball any less than I did four, five or six years ago, it’s just not nearly as important to me as it once was. I don’t feel any innate desire to go to Braves games by myself, which results in me going to almost none at all these days, despite the fact that I live fairly close to the park and know all the odds and ends on how to do it economically. Fortunately, traveling for baseball still has its appeal for me, but mostly because I’m an adventurous person and I love having the perfect excuse to go to new places and try new foods and see new sights. And then there are bobbleheads, which pretty much control all of my baseball-related travels these days, since for reasons that I can’t even comprehend, I’m obsessed with the little motherfuckers and always want more.
The more ambivalent I grew about baseball, the more of an obligation it felt like to write about it. Like I said, it’s not like I didn’t enjoy the game any less, but writing about it just wasn’t as appealing as it once was. It didn’t help that the community was turning over into one that was overly obsessive about baseball statistics, analysis, and the nerdy side of the game. And then there are trolls, who literally want to do nothing but start fights or grief the rest of the community, and seemingly relish in doing such. But the worst are the combination of the two, the trolls with some semblance of intelligence, but use their capabilities to do nothing but grief others. They never really bothered me personally, but it certainly made me not want to participate in the community, in combination with the notion that engaging people meant that I would have some degree of obligation of having to respond at some point, and I just didn’t feel like doing that, either. It got to a point where I pretty much stopped engaging people outright, and only went forward with my own postings.
But I think the aspect of this whole situation that eats at me the most is that by leaving TC, I’m forfeiting any future incentive opportunities that I once had while I was a writer there. Granted, they’ve been fewer and further since I last had them, but the site did have some credibility amongst the Braves community, and I got to do things and get exposure that I never thought I’d get at any point, ordinarily. I’ve had articles published in a few publications, I’ve gotten mentions and credits from Sports Illustrated, I’d been interviewed and quoted by the AJC (lol) before, and I’ve written guest posts and editorials for various sites, about the Braves. But most importantly, I’ve actually been paid to write before, something that I never really thought would happen for me. It was never anything substantial by any stretch of the imagination, but it was nice to actually receive some sort of compensation for me doing what I enjoy doing.
Anyway, I think that’s really all there was to it in the end. I have no regrets with leaving TC, and as I said, it’ll be nice to have absolved myself of that feeling of obligation that I had to write about baseball on a weekly basis. I still enjoy discussing baseball with my few friends that are also baseball fans, but when the day is over, I don’t think I’m going to miss out on a ton by walking away. Most of the emotional feelings behind it is simply due to the fact that it’s a change in the routine, and a change just in general, and I guess I’m one of those types of people that always thinks too hard whenever there’s a change at all.
The funny thing about all of these words is that usually when I try to talk something through, I don’t necessarily feel like I go anywhere with it. In this case, I actually do feel like I worked something out. Hm, color me impressed with rational thinking.
It was fun while it lasted, it was great in its heydays. But it’s best if I walk away and leave a spot on that site for someone who actually wants to be doing it.
