Long story short: Porsche is preparing to open their new North American headquarters in Atlanta.
However, it’s actually in Hapeville, a sub-city known for high crime and with the reputation of being somewhat “urban,” which is the politically correct code word for “it’s a ghetto.”
I get why they say it’s in Atlanta, and in all fairness, Hapeville falls into that umbrella that would be “Metro Atlanta.” Technically, I don’t live within Atlanta proper, and my home mailing address does not say Atlanta, but I’m also still a part of the Metro Atlanta region. After all, whenever I get jury duty every three fucking months, I have to report into the city of Atlanta. This is obviously a common practice, because Atlanta is a fairly well known city, and for the sake of simplicity, people and businesses slap that nametag association because it’s just easier, than having to explain where places like Chamblee, Forest Park, Union City and Doraville are.
But really, they’re not Atlanta, and neither is Hapeville. It’s not that Porsche’s utilization of the proximity rule is anything out of the ordinary, it’s the fact that the reality of their location is actually kind of concerning. If they said “Atlanta,” but really meant a place like Snellville, Peachtree City, Roswell, or like in the case of another famous manufacturer, Lotus, actually in Atlanta, it’s a different story. The aforementioned places aren’t necessarily perceived as sketchy places, and aren’t always mentioned in the same breath as daily criminal activity or police blotter mentions.
Google “Hapeville” and “crime,” and from heat maps to various graphs and infographics, there’s plenty of data that backs up the notion that Hapeville is statistically an unsafe region. Yet, in spite of that, an auto manufacturer with the reputation of Porsche decides to declare the place their North American headquarters? Did the Germans who agreed to this actually learn about Hapeville before making this decision, or were they simply duped into believing that it was all a part of Atlanta proper?
Regardless, it’s good for the general region in that some jobs will be created, and the city of Atlanta will be quick to usurp any stories of success as their own, instead of giving credit to Hapeville. But if the inevitable happens, and Porsches end up being stolen left and right, and their supposed test track is broken into on a nightly basis due to corrupt employees granting access for under-the-table profit, then expect Hapeville’s name to be put on the chopping block without hesitation, with clear distinction that Hapeville is outside of Atlanta.
