On May 14, 2014, something tragic happened: the Starbucks near my office that I went to on a daily basis closed down. For renovations, but the point remains that my daily coffee ritual was derailed completely by this development.
Since then, it’s been a daily challenge in trying to find a suitable replacement to my need for caffeine, and I gone from energy drinks, K-cups, to other places’ coffees. The Starbucks is tentatively scheduled to be open again in July, although I’m not going to hold my breath.
The following was my daily chronicling of what I drank each day instead of Starbucks, and in a few rare instances, I got some reprieve:
May 14, 2014 – MONSTER Zero Ultra
By the time I acquired and drank this concoction of nuclear Shrek piss, it was kind of already too late. I had gone too long without caffeine; my head hurt, I was feeling apathetic and sluggish and I hated the world. Drinking this did help alleviate some of the symptoms, as it did wake me up a little bit and reduced the headache, however. The flavor was surprisingly decent too, as it tasted slightly like a Gatorade lemon-lime, but with sharper flavors, probably on account of the nuclear Shrek piss in it.
May 15, 2014 – MONSTER Absolutely Zero
I had this can sitting in my refrigerator for a month or so, having gotten it after the Georgia Warrior Dash, and I decided that this would be the best day to try it, since it would alleviate me of the need to go out and seek caffeine while at work. The taste was back to the kind of medicine-y swill that I associate with MONSTER in the first place, but it was tolerable. The results were fairly positive, as I was feeling the wake-up and alertness that comes with the settling in of morning coffee. However, I did feel more energetic and a little bit of a rush while at the gym, so there’s clearly something different to be said about drinking this as opposed to coffee.
May 16, 2014 – MONSTER Zero Ultra (2)
I decided to give this another shot, but under the same conditions as if it were the direct substitute for morning coffee, as opposed to drinking it past the point of no return like I had days prior. Results were similar to Absolutely Zero, and I can kind of feel like it’s making my heart beat faster than it probably should be. I’m also learning that it does not have a very pleasant after taste, probably on account of whatever artificial sweetners they’re using, that are probably likely nuclear. Also, this stuff made me pee a lot.
May 19, 2014 – Waffle House coffee (large)
The warmth of coffee is always a welcome sensation, but something about it feels not quite the same. WH coffee is always somewhat decent in my opinion, in spite of everyone’s perceptions of their actual food, but something about it seems vastly more, well, mellow. This stuff is great for relaxing weekends, the morning after too much drinking, or actual winter holidays; I’m not quite sure if this is what I’m looking for when it comes to needing awakening for the arduous days of work for the next two months. Or maybe, I’ve just grown too accustomed to the radioactive swill that is the standard Starbucks blonde roast, and this is what should become my bread and butter. Subsequently, the caffeine boost doesn’t feel like it lasts as long as Starbucks’ does.
I do find it somewhat of a nuisance that I have to pop open numerous half ‘n half cups to cream up my coffee, but that’s just me being cranky and picky.
May 20, 2014 – MONSTER Zero Ultra (3)
Third time going this route. Maybe if I drink it slower, it’ll reduce the feeling of racing heart throughout the day. Either way, this is so far the favored alternative to Starbucks, because in spite of the 360mg of sodium, it tastes okay, and ironically is comparable to the cost of a cup of Starbucks, when they’re on sale at Publix.
However, I think I need to consider ditching this route. After finishing the 16 oz. can in the span of 2.5 hrs, I felt my heart racing, and it has an unpleasant aftertaste, generally. Something about it makes my body feel like it was on edge, which I’m not particularly too keen on.
May 21, 2014 – Waffle House coffee (regular)
Waffle House’s coffee is pretty much good, but it is still a minor nuisance that I have to go through the trouble of tearing open and pouring a teaspoon of half and half into my coffee 3-4 times in order to cream it to the amount that I find tolerable.
Furthermore, in spite of the fact that their food itself pretty much costs peanuts in the grand spectrum of eating out, their coffee isn’t cheaper than Starbucks. I guess this is a 12 oz. cup that I got today, but it rings up to $0.14 cents more than it would have cost at Starbucks. I find that to be an unpleasant surprise considering I was leaning towards them to be a viable substitute.
May 22, 2014 – QT Colombian Supreme (large)
Due to some errands I had to run, I was not relegated to the options surrounding the office. So I went to QT, which is no Wawa or Sheetz, but at least for the pursuit of coffee it’s adequate. That being said, I thought about getting one of their machine mixes that I actually do like, but for the sake of logging my coffee quest, I decided to stick with regular coffee.
To no surprise, it’s decent coffee that’s not too overly bitter or intense, and it’s doing the job quite well. Honestly, if there were a QT within walking distance to the office, it would be my go-to. The best part about it is, that it’s dirt cheap too, cheaper than any of the previously tried alternatives. $1.49 for 20 oz. of decent coffee is the gold standard, and I’d guess will remain that way throughout the next few weeks.
May 23, 2014 – Starbucks Hazelnut Macchiato (venti, three shots espresso)
It’s Friday on the eve of a holiday weekend, and it’s not terribly hot and nearly as pain in the ass of a walk as it would be in about a week, so I decided to actually walk the four blocks each way and actually go get some damn Starbucks. I have a few free drink rewards accumulated on my card where one was nearing expiration, so today seemed like as good of day as any as to redeem it, so that it’s not wasted.
I could spooge over how great it is to have some Starbucks again, but those would be wasted words. Instead, I’ll bring up the fact that the loss of the usual Starbucks has impacted vastly more people than just me. This is no more evident than the camaraderie developed between building tenants over the loss of the usual Starbucks, and the fact that in spite of how anti-social everyone is, we all now have one common thing to bring us together: grief.
In the elevator with a complete stranger, a business man exclaims to me “Aw man, Starbucks! Where did you get that, they’re closed!” When I responded that I hoofed it four blocks, he simply responded with the “You’re killing me!” before exiting the elevator, with an amused look on his face.
Say what you want about the evil empire, but it brings those that are cogs in the machine, closer together.
May 27, 2014 – Subway
Since Subway has joined the breakfast foray, they’ve often advertised that they server Seattle’s Best brand coffee. Most coffee snobs are aware of the fact that Starbucks owns Seattle’s Best, but in spite of the corporate unity, they’re still very much different quality. Almost like a WWE owning WCW situation, regardless of the fact that they’re under the same umbrella, WWE would never let WCW outshine them.
That being said, I found it a little strange that my local Subway had no signage or messaging advertising that they served Seattle’s Best. Don’t get me wrong, I’m frankly glad they served coffee at all, but I guess in the hunt for coffee, I’d have seen a little bit of recognition for a familiar brand.
At $1.74 for like a 16 oz. cup, the price is good, and its proximity to the office is second to none. However, this swill is brewed god knows how much in advance, and it’s no more evident than the fact that it’s nowhere near piping hot when served. The flavor of the coffee black is adequate, but I like my coffee with a little bit of cream and Splenda. That being said, I’m actually growing really tired of the flavor of pre-cupped packets of creamer, and I think I need to invest in my own to leave in the company fridge, where it’s at endless risk of being usurped by the stereotypical office mooch.
May 28, 2014 – Subway
Prior to going to Subway, I swung by the store, and picked up a bottle of creamer to keep in the office fridge. Naturally, I’ve put my name all over it, but honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone(s) in the office sees a bottle of creamer and assumes it to be communal. Either way, I was getting tired of the bitter flavor that pre-packaged cups of creamer was lingering on everything I was drinking, so it was overdue that I got my own.
It helped. The knock on Subway’s coffee is that since it’s pre-brewed, the temperature is kind of tepid in comparison to a nice hot cup of coffee, but the flavor of it isn’t bad. Combined with a decent creamer, it’s alright.
May 29, 2014 – Starbucks blonde (venti)
Since I had the luxury of carpooling today, the hustle and bustle rush to get to work on time wasn’t really the case this morning, so I decided to swing by the other Starbucks on my way into the office. After dealing with weeks of mediocre coffees in comparison, I saw a golden opportunity to get something I’ve been pining for, for a while.
There’s not much more to say about it; it’s the coffee I’ve missed for the better part of the last month, and everything about this morning feels just right as a result.
June 2, 2014 – Subway
For all intents and purposes, this appears to be the clear-cut winner of the possible substitutes until Starbucks re-opens. It’s closer to the building than Starbucks was, and pretty much the most cost efficient at $1.73 for what appears to be a 16 oz. cup. I have to use my own additives to make it to my liking, but it’s safe to say that until Starbucks re-opens, this is the go-to place.
And with that, I think I’m going to end the chronicles right here.
**
So there we have the three-week long trek to discover that the only suitable replacement for Starbucks coffee in the morning is Subway’s coffee, which in this case, I’m not even sure if it’s Seattle’s Best or not. All I know is that it’s even closer to the office than Starbucks is, and I’m technically getting a larger size at a cheaper price; and in this case, the strength of the coffee, or lack-of, is compensated for by sheer amount of it.
I still can’t wait for Starbucks to come back though.
