Impetus: MARTA introduces hi-tech “public bathroom of the future” at Lindbergh Center station. It is allegedly vandalism-proof, loiter-proof, digitally monitored in a variety of manners, and basically gives users pretty much nothing to do but do their business and leave. Hopes are that it becomes successful, and sets the standard for public restrooms to be implemented in transit stations all across the world.
Bahahahahahahahaha. MARTA.
Bahahahahaha.
Okay, now that that’s out of the way; it’s like I could switch my brog to feature absolutely nothing but stories about MARTA, and I could probably make like three posts a day for the next year or so.
But yeah, MARTA. Not only just opening up a public restroom at a train station, they’re opening up a public restroom that has cost an absurd amount of money:
Both (president of company that designed the bathroom) and MARTA put the installation cost at about $100,000.
$100,000 for a bathroom? I still owe close to $100,000 on my mortgage. For my house. That has three bathrooms in it.
I guess we can see where MARTA funds go towards, instead of, y’know, expand service, hire more employees, security or things that might be mistaken as being “useful.”
Regardless, the intention is of course one of high hopes and positivity, but there’s a very major reason why train stations all across not just the entire country, but the entire world, are often times locked, not operated, and unavailable:
vandalism, loitering, and illicit transactions (such as drug-use or prostitution)
Not mentioned is the simple fact that stations frankly don’t want to have to pay for a custodian to maintain these bathrooms, which is a shitty (no pun intended) job in itself, because let’s face it, in spite of how civilized people (at least men) are in their own private residential restrooms, they become less functional with their bodily functions than a newborn baby when they’re within a public restroom.
Compound all that with the convenience that an asshole can shit all over the walls, leave the bathroom looking like a murder scene, and then hop onto a train and be whisked away from the scene of the crime, and it’s the perfect recipe for why public restrooms are almost non-existent in the transit world.
Here’s a list of things the supposed restroom of the future is capable of, and what could, and probably will, if it already hasn’t, go wrong.
-
Patrons are buzzed in upon request by a “virtual attendant.” Cameras monitor who goes in and who comes out. If it’s not already knocked out, the camera will be sabotaged in some manner, rendering it incapable of actually recording video. The locks on the doors will somehow be sabotaged as well, rendering the door always open.
-
Sensors are in charge of everything within the bathroom itself, whether it’s monitoring movement to make sure people are in there, attempting to enforce a 10-minute limit to restroom use with hopes of reducing loitering, water usage, flushing, and even toilet paper consumption. If they haven’t already been destroyed/disabled, they’re going to be. Whether one of Atlanta’s My 600 Pound Life imitators breaks a toilet, or one of the countless vandals brings a hammer into the restroom and smashes them into incapacitation, the sensors will fail, and become an expensive failure in the process.
-
Walls are lined with a graffiti-resistant coating that turns them into essentially easy-to-wipe white board surfaces. Have you ever seen someone accidentally write on a white board with a Sharpie? I have. It’s not permanent, but it’s also not something that can simply be wiped off. Furthermore, this is just a challenge that vandals will relish in defeating. Rustoleum markets spray paints that stick to any surface, and when in doubt, tenacious vandals will simply bring their own steel wool or sandpaper, and effectively rub this coating off, so that they can be tagged. If they already haven’t.
The bottom line is that in spite of good intentions, I think that MARTA is looking at a very costly mistake waiting to happen, by opening up this expensive high-tech bathroom. I give it two days before the bathroom ends up looking like the bathroom from the Chappelle Show Popcopy skit. One day for degenerates to survey what they’re up against, and then one more day, for them to execute the, well, execute the whole restroom.
If it already hasn’t happened.
