Like many across the regions of the world in which the game has been released, I’ve been playing Pokemon Go. Or as I like to refer to it as, The Pikachu Game.
I wish I could say that I was amongst the game’s elite already, but let’s be real here, I simply don’t have as much free time to play as much as I’d like to. In fact, I can barely get the game to run for more than like 20 minutes at a time, because I keep crashing whenever I catch a pidgey or a zubat or whatever the things not actually Pikachu are.
Either way, I’m finding enjoyment from the game, and it’s actually a little fascinating, a little amusing, and a little bit cool that so many people are into it, and for once, I’m actually a part of the crowd, instead of being the contrarian hipster I can sometimes become, when it comes to something so mainstream.
One of the things that I have been enjoying since I downloaded the game, has been the mammoth rash of interesting stories that have been popping up since the general Mac OS release last weekend. Frankly, I know that there are a ton of dannyhongs out there that bemoan the popularity and seemingly global hysteria behind the Pikachu Game, but from my spectator’s view, I’m actually finding amusement in a lot of the more intriguing storylines to have come out of the game’s involvement.
For what it’s worth, I felt like it was a good idea to start collecting links to The Pikachu Game stories, and link to them, in case there are people out there who haven’t seen them already. Ironically, given the nature of the server being down for an indeterminate amount of time still, there’s a very high chance that some of these links might be dead by the time this actually makes it up onto the internets for public viewing. QQ
Anyway without further ado, unique The Pikachu Game stories out of the week of July 8 through July 15:
7/9: Wyoming teenager comes across dead body while playing The Pikachu Game
This is pretty much the story that captured my attention from the onset, and what caused me to decide to start chronicling these stories. But yeah, it was bound to happen, with people actually getting up and going outdoors, that the chances of coming across a corpse would have to increase.
7/11: Missouri thugs use in-game lures to lure actual people to location and robbed them
To no surprise, there’s always bad people out there looking to capitalize on hot properties. Some young thugs set up a Pikachu lure, which drew actual players to the location with hopes of catching more Pikachus, but instead were met with thugs with a handgun that robbed them.
7/12: Arizona woman rescues boy from bullies because she was out playing The Pikachu Game
This wasn’t an ordinary run-of-the-mill bullying session that was deterred by this The Pikachu Game playing grandmother. Once the bullies were chased off, it turns out the kid had to be hospitalized for heat stroke, because he was being physically challenged a little too far.
7/12: Two Fullerton, California Marines help apprehend attempted murder suspect
If there’s any reason to debunk the whole “The Pikachu Game is for nerds” argument, it’s these two Marines who just so happened to be wandering around playing The Pikachu Game, when they happened to witness some creep attempting to basically molest some kids in public. They detained the guy until police arrived, where it turns out that he was wanted for attempted murder.
7/12: Illinois Walmart employee catches thief while playing The Pikachu Game
Imagine having some stuffy corporate rules about not playing The Pikachu Game on company property. So employee steps outside to the lawn and garden section of the store to sneak in some Pikachu time; lo and behold, there’s some asshole trying to steal merchandise by pushing it underneath a fence? From slacker to asset protection hero, thanks to The Pikachu Game.
7/12: New York girl offers herself to play The Pikachu Game for you
Although her business model has already crashed and burned, this 20-year old was offering people to basically gold-farm you’re the Pikachu Game account for you, while you did other things, but could still reap the bragging rights of having a high level account with like 75 Pikachus. For just $20 an hour!
7/13: Detroit Red Wings Twitter writer clearly has The Pikachu Game on the brain
While attempting to announce that the Detroit Red Wings had re-signed Finnish hockey player Teemu Pulkkinen, the Red Wings Twitter lord inadvertently typed in “Teemu Pokemon.” Auto-correct my ass, someone clearly has The Pikachu Game on the brain.
7/13: Indiana animal shelter encourages people to walk dogs while they hunt Pikachus
I mean, people are already going outside more often to hunt for Pikachus. Why not take some of man’s best friends with them for these excursions? It’s a great example of productive multi-tasking, and some good dogs can enjoy the enjoyment of The Pikachu Game as well.
7/13: Northern California men robbed and carjacked while playing The Pikachu Game
Hm, this makes me wonder if I should reconsider the next time I play the game in lazy mode, AKA from the air-conditioned comfort of my car, driving around to locations where it’s convenient to pull off and register PikaStops.
7/13: Athens, Georgia man claims he was sexually assaulted while playing The Pikachu Game
Not that it makes it the least bit okay, but the guy was wandering around in parking lots in the middle of the night, playing The Pikachu Game. But come on “sexual assault” is a little bit of a stretch considering he was merely lightly molested by means of a touch on the thigh.
7/13: Oregon man stabbed while playing The Pikachu Game, continues playing before seeking medical attention
Again, another incident that might’ve been avoided in broad daylight, but wandering around at 1 a.m. looking for Pikachus, when the crazies are known to be out, just might not be a great idea. But the wound must not have been so bad, considering he kept playing for an undisclosed amount of time before actually seeking medical attention.
7/13: Anaheim man stabbed while playing The Pikachu Game, not as lucky
Yet again, another incident that might not have happened at 12:30 p.m., but did at 12:30 a.m. Multiple stab wounds, non-lethal, but the guy wasn’t as lucky as the kid from Oregon.
7/13: Florida news anchor walks right through televised weather report
I’m willing to bet that this was staged, but damn if it’s still not funny to think about if it were true and legit.
7/13: Brooklyn man falls into a pond while playing The Pikachu Game
I know it’s the middle of summer and it’s hot outside, but I have to wonder just how many incidents like this would be avoided by people not being outside in the middle of the night playing The Pikachu Game?
7/14: California men (plural) fall off cliff while playing The Pikachu Game
To no surprise, they did cross a fence meant to keep them safe, so they were trespassing on dangerous ground, but it appears that both, despite being hospitalized, survived their long ocean bluff falls.
7/14: Ohio couple arrested for breaking into zoo to catch Pikachus
It never fails to amaze me the lack of good judgment when it comes to a craze. The best part about it, is no matter what kind of alibi or excuse the couple might have made when they were being booked, the fact that the woman in question basically posted “I am not above breaking and entering for a Pokemon” on social media.
7/14: Planned Parenthood won The Pikachu Game reference on Twitter
It doesn’t matter what clever word play or sneaky smart The Pikachu Game puns anyone else can come up with, nobody else can first claim to making a condom-themed Pokemon with a reference that “when you don’t want to catch ‘em all.”
7/14: Houston The Pikachu Game players come across abandoned hamsters, get them to safety
I have a particularly strong dislike for people who abandon animals in the first place, and I also have a particular fondness for Russian Dwarf hamsters, which were the hamsters in question that were callously and cowardly left in the middle of a park in the heat of summer. And if not for these two The Pikachu Game players to wander by, they probably would have died. Fuck whomever left them behind.
7/14: New Hampshire man also locates dead body while playing The Pikachu Game
Oh, there was no way that there was only going to be one body found by The Pikachu Game players. Gruesome as it sounds, I’m going to be amused by how many times people are going to come across corpses, because they’re wandering to corners of the country thought to be secluded and untouched, because of The Pikachu Game.
