Real fast, what does Atlanta need? Improved mass transit? Actual infrastructure? Less-corrupt politicians? Another taco restaurant? Pssh, that’s all trivial shit.
But if you said “Atlanta needs a new stadium,” then you’ve got the clairvoyance of Professor X and you’d be 100% correct!
Not just any stadium though . . . but a CRICKET stadium!!!
I mean shit, how naïve of me to think that the Atlanta Stadium-Palooza would have come to an end now that the Falcons have a new stadium, the Braves have a new stadium, and the Hawks have secured a couple of hundred of million dollars to renovate their existing stadium to a slightly newer state. I mean, NFL, MLB and NBA, covering the big three sports entities would have been enough right?
Of course not! If MLS can get a brand-new training facility, and the NBA D-League can get themselves a new stadium, who am I to say that I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear that of all the sports in the world, cricket would be the next to descend on the Atlanta area and out of nowhere begin demanding a stadium for themselves.
Because sure, I know how globally popular cricket is in the world outside of the United States, but why wouldn’t Atlanta need a cricket stadium?? It’s not like whatever land they ultimately select to build something brand new (because Atlanta doesn’t believe in repurposing) could have been better used building stuff like, homes, or necessities, or conveniences…
Whatever though. When it comes to stadium developments, I’m going to have to say that nothing will surprise me anymore, because they’re proving that no sport is too obscure or unpopular in America enough for the Metro Atlanta area to not want to build a colossal monstrosity of wasted tax dollars and crooked financial numbers in order to satiate the greedy pockets of the shitheads that actually think they’re fooling people into thinking stadiums actually equate to financial benefit.
I’m going to predict that the Atlanta cricket stadium is going to be plopped down in Smyrna, because there’s an Indian population as concentrated as Mumbai there, and cricket is massively huge in India. I can’t wait to see when it opens up, the parking lot and South Cobb Parkway will be flooded with gray Honda Accords all piling into the same parking lot to watch a game where the final scores look like Calvinball scores, and players wear more armor than Medieval Times.
And then when the World Bullfighting Association chooses Atlanta for the one of the homes of their North American federation, they can build a new stadium up in like Chamblee. And then when Pro Badminton picks up enough steam, they’ll lobby for an arena down near like Grant Park, where the gentrification from the Beltline may have accomplished enough of its job of pushing black people out of the city, making it safe for the construction of a badminton stadium.
Because who needs silly shit like transit and infrastructure, when there are giant monuments to corporate greed and greed, meant to house seasonal sport activities, need to be made?
