Hardly news: East Cobb mom busted for smuggling in alcohol through her kid’s sippy cup and getting blackout drunk during a matinee
A long time ago when I lived on the south end of town, I remember having lunch at a Chili’s in Peachtree City. While there, the adjacent table was occupied by a mom and like three kids, all of which were different ages, ranging from like 1-4 years old, and naturally, they were loud and rambunctious, with mom having pretty much no control over them whatsoever.
There was a great feeling of relief when they got up and left, because finally there would be some peace and calm to eat to; but not even a full five minutes after they had left, did mom come rushing frantically back into the restaurant, and to the table. The way she was scanning the table made me wonder if she had perhaps dropped her keys or cell phone or something of any actual value based on the urgency plastered on her face.
But then she grabbed one of the plastic kid’s cups that was still on the table, emptied its contents into a nearby water glass, and then promptly grabbed what was left of her margarita and poured the remnants of it into the kid’s cup, replaced the lid and walked out the restaurant as cool as the cucumber in the back of the crisper closest to the refrigeration coil.
It was a true veteran maneuver I’d witnessed, because the savvy in which she pulled this off, there’s no mistaking that this was something that she’s done numerous times.
But that was in Peachtree City, which is like 40 miles south of Atlanta. Seeing this story of a mom in East Cobb, which is like 25 miles north of Atlanta, doing basically the same thing but cranked to 17 because prescription drugs were allegedly involved, is ironically amusing to me because it reminds me of when Manu Ginobili came to America and introduced the Euro-step to the NBA (despite the fact that he was from Argentina and not Italy in spite of what all ignorant racists thought), and then anyone who thought they were a good ball handler started copying and trying to integrate it into their own repotoires, and now it’s pretty much everywhere.
But the reality is that in spite of the fact that this is a news story now, I’d wager actual money that booze in the sippy cup is a soccer mom tactic that’s probably existed since the dawn of, sippy cups. Their cheap plastic exteriors, often with chintzy goofy cartoons on them, and their super-utilitarian lids, make them perfect discreet containers of debauchery. Just because Ginobili had been one of the first guys to Euro-step in America doesn’t mean that a bunch of dudes in leagues outside the NBA haven’t been Euro-stepping for decades, much like just because some mom got shitfaced in East Cobb doesn’t mean that moms all across America haven’t been getting smashed from sippy cups for generations.
