Reason #786 why it’s stupid to have a season of any sport in the middle of a pandemic: Denver Broncos lose all eligible quarterbacks due to coronavirus prior to game against the Saints
I’m not just saying this just because the Braves didn’t win the World Series, but because it really is stupid and foolish to have professional sports seasons in the middle of a pandemic that’s claimed over a quarter million American lives. And this past weekend was just more reminders of just how stupid everything sports really are, and how wholly unnecessary they really are in the grand spectrum of trying to live in ‘Murica.
On Saturday alone, regardless of the fact that I don’t really watch much college football much less television in general, I still am curious to see who’s winning and who’s losing on any given day because I’m fascinated with how a ranking system even happens and Ohio State is somehow ranked #4 in the nation despite playing in like, four games total, because of coronavirus and all the cancelled games. And then in the top-25 filter alone, I see that five games are cancelled/postponed due to coronavirus issues, and I’m left wondering how there’s any sort of credibility at all this season, when just about every team has played an uneven number of games, so I have no earthly idea how there can be any sort of ranking system that doesn’t have more holes in it than Swiss cheese?
I guess it doesn’t really matter though, because when the day is over, it’s still going to be Alabama and Clemson in the playoffs, along with whatever always-runner-ups like Ohio State and Notre Dame to job to Alabama and Notre Dame, setting up yet another Alabama vs. Clemson National Championship.
But then I see this interesting article (above) about how the Denver Broncos have inexplicably lost all three of their main roster quarterbacks due to coronavirus exposure, and my interest is immediately piqued by the idea of wondering what the fuck an actual NFL team would do in the event there were no available QBs.
Obviously, the team would call up whatever scrub they had taking snaps on the practice squad, but I really do feel like the No Fun League really let the Broncos and all sports fans down by shooting down all other potential ideas that were floated around out there, like letting an assistant coach start the game at QB, or my favorite idea of them all, letting linebacker VON “ELWAY” MILLER start the game as QB.
I mean really, between a practice squad jobber who played at Wake Forest, or a hulk like Von Miller start, what would really be worse? Miller at least sees first string snaps and game action and probably would be way better at QB than people would assume him to be, not to mention the guy is built like Luke Cage and would probably be about as difficult to bring down, which always makes me wonder why more teams don’t employ tanks as QBs for that specific reason.
The point is, in a season that’s mostly a wash for all athletes, college or professional, as far as athletic success and ambitions go, why the fuck shouldn’t more teams allow for some radical thinking and ideas to come to fruition? The Broncos are already dwelling the bottom, and what’s the harm in letting them try some wacky shit in a season that already makes no sense?
There’s no way Von Miller would’ve been remotely worse than the guy that started. I mean, the Broncos ultimately lost 31-3, and I have hard time believing Von Miller would’ve been any worse than 3 fucking points. If anything at all, Miller could’ve Tebowed the whole game, and just rushed forward on every single snap and because he’s a 250 lb. truck of a human being, he probably would’ve smashed his way to at least two touchdowns.
Ultimately, in spite of all the lame jokes, when the day is over, it’s sad that neutered versions of sports are being forced to be trotted out when the smart thing really is that everyone, including professional and collegiate athletes should be hunkering down and quarantining, instead of being forced to take the field for a bunch of spoiled ‘Muricans who can’t find something better to do with their time.
As much as I’d have loved to have heard of a game where Blake Bortles got a redemption story, or even Von Miller actually starting at quarterback, I’d rather see a weekend of sports where there are fans in the stands, every top-25 college team gets to play, and no NFL team has guys missing games because of an easily avoidable plague.
But it wouldn’t be ‘Murica if everyone were collectively using their brains, would it?
