I saw this meme from Black Twitter about how now that glass-enclosed front porches are becoming a thing, it’s only a matter of time before black people start tinting their front porches. It was one of those things that I thought was kind of funny because of the stereotypes that were being implied by such an observations, but really my mind went to being fascinated that glass-enclosed front porches were actually a thing.
The examples I’d been seeing since being curious don’t really sell me on their benefit, other than the fact that they’re a hard-shell that stands as one more layer to protect the front door of a home from the devastating effects of prolonged rain exposure.
But otherwise, they make the homes that choose to go in that route look like, a vestibule to an office building. And frankly, I don’t even understand what the point of vestibules are in the first place; Google is telling me that they’re:
for the purpose of waiting, withholding the larger space from view, reducing heat loss, providing storage space for outdoor clothing, etc
The thing is, most everywhere I’ve been, offices, hotels, airports, or any place that might have vestibules, the only rationale that really makes any sense is the prevention of loss of a desired air temperature; cold in the summer, heat in the winter, and anything in between. I guess they could be used as something of mudrooms for a patch of space where people can reduce the amount of dirt and mud they track into the larger part of the structure.
But to basically turn homes into having a glorified vestibule once a front segment of a home is enclosed in glass? Yeah, seems counterproductive in my opinion.
Not only does it look aesthetically ridiculous, it’s an invitation to greenhouse effect your front stoop/porch, and microwave the inside of it during a sunny and/or hot day. Short of having some logical ventilation in there, I have to imagine that moisture gets trapped in these things and now you’ve also now got a sauna, pressing and permeating moisture onto one of the exterior walls and doors to your home, and if there’s one thing that I’ve ever learned about homeownership is that moisture is definitely not a good thing in most cases.
Provided on whether they’re locked or unlocked, these doors just create an extra layer for packages to be dropped off at; like Amazon will just plop the boxes outside the vestibule instead of next to your actual front door, and the risk of package theft goes up. Or in a true nightmare scenario, a place for bums and squatters wandering by to meander to the door and give a tug, to see if they can get a free place to sleep overnight, or drop a deuce in the corner.
And of course, even if they’re not making up of straight up actual glass, plexi, acrylic and other forms of transparent surfaces still shatter and shard into sharp, dangerous pieces, and all it takes is one local vandal, an errant baseball, golf ball or football being struck or thrown, or a drive-by destruction of property in order to trash one of these glass boxes, and now you’ve got one more fragile thing that can break and cause a lot of harm and trauma.
I’m going to make an assumption here and assume that it was white people who came up with this silly idea, of glass-enclosed front porches because this definitely sounds like something white people would really come up with. Have the pleasure of feeling like you’re outside enjoying a picturesque day, except not have to be influenced (as much) by summer heat or winter cold; and that’s provided that these are built to be remotely temperature controlled. But completely not take into considerations of building little glass boxes that live outside, and all the consequences of creating such silly things.
But for real though, it will be entertaining if when the first time I actually see one of these out in the wild, it’s tinted.
