Tag: cars

Obvious answers to obvious questions

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

CBS46 Atlanta asks: How will MARTA ridership change with I-85 open? In spite of Keith Parker’s diabolical efforts to destroy roads, induce sinkholes, and cause agonizing gridlock throughout Atlanta roads to boost MARTA ridership, the answer to the question is about as obvious as finding out Cobb taxpayers will be on the hook for some Braves-related expenses despite countless promises that they wouldn’t.

Errbody ‘gon get their asses back in their cars and back on the streets and in no time, clog up I-85 and sit in traffic rather than ride MARTA.

I mean, the proof is already in the pudding, as it’s not even been one full day, and MARTA stations are reporting a wealth of available parking spaces, despite the fact that just weeks ago, ridership was up massively and warranted the need for additional parking.  In that regard, I actually kind of feel bad for MARTA, because they seemed to go all-in with trying to improve service and become the commuting savior the city needed, even if they probably were the ones behind it in the first place.

But $3.1 million reasons existed why the I-85 repairs were going to get done ahead of schedule, and I have to imagine a guy like Keith Parker is incensed with the notion that such a generous bonus came into play to get people to actually do their jobs in an expedient manner.  He did so much, destroying roads, causing gridlock as well as improving MARTA ridership, and now the whole plan kind of goes to pot now that I-85 was repaired as fast as it was.  It wasn’t even adequate time for riders to reinforce and get used to MARTA being the norm, and their asses are already back in cars, preferring to slog through traffic and have the freedom that cars bring, rather than ride MARTA.

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This is probably going to be a thing

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Do you know what professional athletes like aside from money?  Attention.

Sure, there’s a correlation between attention and earning money, but when the day is over, professional athletes still love to gain attention, whether it is good or bad.  It’s why you hear of former pros doing random things when their playing careers are over, presumably just to see their names get published somewhere for some reason.

One of the easiest ways to gain attention for professional athletes is to do things that other professional athletes don’t do.  And when professional athletes left and right are flaunting their wealth, and boasting their ridiculous homes, expensive accessories and overpriced cars, it’s easy to get noticed when you go against such a common grain.

So when top QB draft pick Mitchell Trubisky, rolled into the Chicago Bears minicamp in an old 1997 Toyota Camry, people did notice.  That tends to happen when a guy makes it into the NFL and is expected to immediately cash in their signing bonuses and get themselves a six-figure vehicle, because let’s be real here, like 99%* of top-10 draft picks tend to do that.

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Who knew how loudly money spoke?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Shocker of the year: I-85 announced to be opening Monday morning, tremendously ahead of schedule

Funny how predictable things become once money is introduced into the equation.  Back when the bridge originally collapsed, there were rumblings about how it would take until Thanksgiving to repair.  Eventually people realized that cities can’t necessarily operate efficiently with a massive chasm in the road, so the timeline to repair was suddenly bumped to early June. 

And then the Georgia Department of Transportation put a big fat $3.1 million dollar incentive reward in play if the contractors responsible for the bridge repair could finish before Memorial Day weekend, May 26-29.

A surprise to nobody at all, the bridge repairs are not only going to beat the Memorial Day reward deadline, they’re going to beat it by nearly two full weeks.  How interesting that a potential reward has sufficiently motivated people to do their jobs.

Whatever though, regardless of the pathetic display of greed exhibited by this whole debacle, I’m just glad that I-85 is going to be repaired sooner rather than later.  I know other people have had it way worse than I have, but it’s definitely made some trips way more tedious and time-consuming than they should be if GDOT weren’t such irresponsible slugs leaving their flammable shit underneath bridges with the crackheads.

I would like a Grand Vitara now pls

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

One of the better things I’ve seen in my life recently: Proud owner of a 1996 Suzuki Grand Vitara makes the most epic commercial for the sale of his car in the history of mankind

Among the things in our lives that my brother and I still reference to our very old ages is the phrase “standard;” used ironically to describe things that aren’t impressive but we try to make it sound such anyway.  It all derived from this parody of a Dodge Aries commercial we saw back in like, 1999, that we still chuckle about today.

Figure that back in 1999, they were spoofing a car back from 1988, and we come to present day, and now there’s an epic commercial for a car that is apparently from, 1996.  Obviously, technology has changed a good deal since then, and no such capabilities are left out of this amazing digital love letter to the Suzuki Grand Vitara.

The amazing thing about the video is that it starts off modestly, and much like the Aries commercial, the overinflation of the basic features, presented ironically as if they were spaceship technologies.  But throughout the escalation of epicness, I felt that it never really peaks and simply continues to get better without ever declining.

Seriously, from running away from T-Rex, chasing the War Rig, to somehow ending up on the surface of the moon, it just gets more and more outrageously funny, before it doubles me over with the Back to the Future reappearance in the end before the unfortunate end to such a grand masterpiece.

Regardless, as a whole, this video is one of the better things I’ve seen lately.  It’s ironic, it’s well made and above all, it’s hilarious.  Kudos to the guy who made it, and I imagine anyone who watches this would want a 20-year old Grand Vitara themselves now as well.  I certainly do.

It looks like Darth Maul had sex with a stormtrooper

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Debuting in America twenty years too late: Introducing for the first time in America, the Honda Civic . . . TYPE-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I almost said ten years when I really meant to say that I would’ve been really excited about this news twenty years ago, but honestly, I’d probably have been more excited when I was 25 too.  God damn I’m fucking old now.

But regardless of my age, for all intents and purposes, the Civic Type-R is finally coming to America.  17-22-year old me would be ecstatic about this news, and swear to somehow manage to save enough money to be able to get one but ultimately fail miserably when other life priorities emerge.  25-year old me might consider this as a hard want, but eventually deduce that it would be a fiscally irresponsible decision and stick with their completely paid-off car until it eventually died.

And 35-year old me simply brogs about it, injecting wit, snark and saracasm that I think appeals to way more people than it probably actually does.  All six of them.  Well, zero, considering my site’s been down for over a year now.  Whatever, I’ve never stopped writing, even to a non-audience.

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Their URL says it all

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

ITSMARTA(.com)!!!!!!

You heard it here first.  MARTA is behind all of this shit.  The collapse of I-85.  The chemical spill that crippled the Connector.  The seismic buckling of I-20.  It’s MARTA!

Coincidentally, MARTA riders would avoid the entirety of the chemical spill, as well as the smoldering remains of I-85.  Coincidentally anyone traveling westbound of I-20 would avoid the giant fisting the road decided to give motorists, if they rode MARTA from Indian Creek station into the city instead of driving. 

It just seems a little too coincidental that all these highway maladies are occurring in areas where MARTA would make too much of a logical alternative.

Keith Parker is a diabolical son of a bitch, but this guy right here is one step ahead of you at seeing through your transparent guerilla methods of trying to force increased ridership.  Apps, slogans and “riding with respect” only got so much faith back into MARTA, but once he hit the wall, he’s been forced to bring out the big guns.  Literally, by destroying strategic parts of the Metro Atlanta highway system, and then conveniently waiting in the wings to provide this alternative means of transportation, behind his friendly demeanor and sharply dressed image.

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This is what we call a disaster waiting to happen

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Incentives to rush usually equals incentives for shit work: Georgia Department of Transportation offers up to a $3.1 million dollar bonus to the company responsible for repairing I-85, if they can finish everything up before Memorial Day

Look, I’m all about getting I-85 up and running as quickly as possible.  And my bad on the part of previously saying that it wasn’t going to be done until Thanksgiving, because clearly I tuned out for a little bit and missed where they thought they would get it done by June 15th instead.  Whatever though, it’s not the weekend like the sinkhole was fixed in Japan, so it’s still taking way too fucking long to fix something that should really be fixed even faster than a target date of Memorial Day weekend.

And it’s obvious why Georgia wants I-85 fixed before May 25th, because that’s Memorial Day weekend, one of the heaviest loads of expected traffic all across the nation.  Surely, the loss of I-85 is going to be extremely taxing to I-285 on both sides as people would be forced to use those roads instead of the straight shot through the city itself, which then has a trickle effect on I-20, as well as I-75.  Ironically, those actually in the city of Atlanta itself would probably benefit the most, from prepared drivers not utilizing city proper streets.

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