Tag: trolls

Why I like Fast Five so much

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I have a rather tall friend whose parents happen to be from Brazil.  He is a kind and gentle giant of a friend, and I rather enjoy having his friendship.  His sister once inadvertently, unknowingly prevented me from getting pulled over a long time ago, by setting the mother of all automotive picks on the road, allowing me the time necessary to duck into a small neighborhood until I ditched the star.  Anyway, he, his parents, as well as his sister gave me good faith that Brazilians were good persons.

Well, I take that all back, and recognize my eight-foot tall friend and his family as clearly exceptions to the rule, or products of having lived in America for so long.  Because after playing League of Legends for as long as I’ve been playing now, I’ve come to the interim conclusion that Brazilians are the most insufferable, obnoxious and griefing people on the face of the planet.

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Seen in Atlanta: Pull my finger

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

There’s something to be said about the culture of tagging in the world, but sometimes it’s funny to just see something kind of out of left field to get the mind wondering.  Here in Atlanta, the popular tags are a head in a ski-mask, Pac-Man ghosts smiling broadly, the word “DOSE,” and a bunch of indecipherable marks that pockmark bridges, billboards, walls, and other public or private property that are illegally being desecrated.  That being said, I can give some genuine appreciation to PULL MY FINGER, because there’s really no explanation needed.  Most everyone knows what the joke is, and it’s kind of refreshing to see something that requires no explanation being used as vandalism over the esoteric, kind of bullshit tags that are scattered around the rest of the city.  I mean, I like the Pac-Man ghosts as much as the next nerd does, but I have no fucking idea what the point of it is.

At least with pull my finger, there’s a modicum of sense being made, since it relates to fecal matter, and so many here in this fair city are full of shit, so there’s a connection there.

Roll. Tard.

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Living where I do, it is neigh impossible to avoid the phenomenon that is college football.  Namely Southeastern Conference (SEC) football, the most blindly passionate, dedicated, and die-hard subdivision of college football in the country, with fanbases twice as aforementioned, with a heaping addition of completely retarded to finish the ensemble.  And Atlanta is literally the crossroads of ALL SEC schools, as it’s the center point for Georgia, South Carolina, Florida, Tennessee, LSU, Ole Miss, Auburn, Kentucky, and of course, my favorites, the Alabama Crimson Tide last but not and least.  Whose name describes a big wave of water, but mascot is an elephant, and all their supports always say “Roll. Tide” as a school saying?  … yeah

SEC fans are borderline mentally crippled when it pertains to the fortunes of their respective football teams.  Hazing, harassment, and light graffiti are some things seen in college rivalries, but the destruction of property, flagrant vandalism, kidnapping of animal mascots, burnings, violence, extinguishing of life, and sheer unadulterated hate is more the MO of SEC fans.  Lets not get into the legions of horribly designed novelty t-shirts, made to incite allegiance, talk smack, and celebrate results of individual games.  Recently, distraught over the anguish brought on by ultimate rival Auburn, winning the National Championship or beating Alabama at some point, an Alabama supporter (he didn’t actually attend) marched onto Auburn territory and poisoned the shit out of two iconic giant oak trees that were well over a hundred years old at a popular Auburn hangout spot.  … yeah, because that’s justified retribution for the school you don’t like having some success.

But anyway, I’m deviating from the point here, but the idea has been touched on that Alabama does not like Auburn, and vice versa, and it’s no secret that out of all SEC schools, I think Alabama has the biggest nutjobs and wacked out mental supporters.  But the picture above is a t-shirt I saw at a crappy mall – it’s a “memorabilia” shirt, boasting University of Auburn, National Football Champions.  Okay . . . what’s the point?

Auburn’s school colors are navy blue and orange.

This particular shirt is in nothing but crimson.

Crimson is the color of the University of Alabama.

Clearly this shirt was made by an Alabama supporter who thought it would so insultingly awesome to make a congraturatory Auburn National Champions shirt in, wait for it … kekeke … CRIMSON!

Sigh.

Roll.  Tard.

Creepiest guy ever at trivia

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Assist goes to Miss Emma, firstly.  But seriously, this guy was the creeper of all creeps.  Hitting on a 4/10 Japanese girl at the bar, head all tilted weird and contorted.  Drinking Yuengling out of a fucking goblet, and eating cheese fries like a six-year old eating spaghetti, allowing it to hang out of his mouth before sloppily snaring it in.  But mostly the tilted head, and the “I’m so hot and I know you want to do me” attitude that might not be conveyed as well through photograph.  Sadly, because of the quality that he’s so engrossing himself with, he may actually get lucky, but otherwise, the hipster hoodie, ironic t-shirt, messy hair, jew nose, and beady drunk eyes simply anoint this young man, as the creepiest guy ever at trivia.

SkyNet really does exist

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

But it’s not like in Terminator, where they want to end all of humanity.  Instead, SkyNet is content to just make the lives of humankind as miserable and annoyance-filled as possible.  The thing is, nobody knows this, but they don’t really go by the name of “SkyNet.”  They go by “traffic lights,” and their goal in their artificial lives is to piss off humanity as much as they can.  They’re sadistic like that, and it really is much quite worse.  Killing humans at least puts them out of their misery; stopping them at each and every fucking intersection known to man is a much more aggravating and painstaking endeavor.

Suffice to say, nothing sours my mood faster than driving on a country-back road/parkway, that actually has lighted intersections.  Even more so, when the SkyNets at all of them are programmed to be as beneficial as possible to opposing traffic, and as misery-inducing and pain in the ass for major traffic.  I got stopped at eleven out of twelve SkyNets on my way home from running errands.  After a while, I began dreading seeing friendly SkyNets, because that just meant they were going to turn heel on me as I approached.  At least the evil SkyNets, I knew were already on their upswing of turning good again.  Hence, the motivation to vent my frustrations on the internets where nobody is bound to see them.

Seriously though, just having gotten nice, fresh-new tires, and got my brakes all smoothed out and working great again, nothing is more rage producing than having to be on roads that let you get to the vehicul’s top speed, only for you to approach an intersection coming at 55-65 mph, for the light to turn yellow at the precise distance where you know you won’t be able to beat it without triggering any cameras, or command the attention of any police that happen to be present, so you’re left with no alternative but to really work out your brakes and come to a stressful halt, while a single Chevy Lumina chugs through the intersection, with their drivers so oblivious to how much I want them to veer off into a ditch and die for being on the road at the precise moment of least convenience for my ever-so important life.

I know it’s such a trivial, inconsequential thing to get pissed off over, let alone gain the motivation and momentum to segue into a brog post, but that’s what make us humans, we have irrational pet peeves.  Fuck you SkyNet.  May John Connors from all time lines be your eternal downfall.