Tag: basketball

Grant Hill probably wants to kill Jason Kidd

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

No seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised that behind that cool, calm and collected demeanor that Grant Hill always displays to the public, that there is a demon inside of him.  And that’s not a reference to his fancy white-collar Duke education and that he was also a Blue Devil back in those days, but more of a metaphorical devil of jealousy or resentment – towards the existence of Jason Kidd.

From the day they broke into the NBA in the same year, to just weeks ago when both had declared their retirement after 18 seasons, so often was the case was whenever Grant Hill’s name was mentioned, it wasn’t long afterward that Jason Kidd was brought up.  It’s fun for me to theorize by claiming it, and it’s most certainly realistically not deliberate, but as far as I see it, Jason Kidd has spent his entire career essentially, ruining Grant Hill’s career.

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Why I hope the Spurs win it all

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Not that I pay a tremendous amount of attention to the NBA, but it’s almost impossible to ignore when some awful four-lettered “sports channel” is on just about everywhere from the gym to various restaurants.  That being said, I was astutely aware that as of right now, half of the NBA Finals is set, with the San Antonio Spurs securing their spot in the finals.  Meanwhile the Heat and Pacers are duking it out in the east, to see who will oppose them for the championship.

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An attempt to put into words how much I hate ESPN

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s not that want anyone to keel over and die, but if Stephen A. Smith were to keel over and die, I’m pretty sure that not only would I not give a shit, there would be a part of me that would be glad.  Yes, that’s a horrible thing to put into writing, but I can’t really say that it would be an inaccurate statement.

Whenever Stephen A. Smith is on television, which is unfortunately way more than he should be, because the retards at my gym have the locker room televisions set to ESPN, and there’s no known way to change the channels without a remote, and First Take seems to be on for eleventy-billion hour blocks at a time, I want to shower and dress out and get out of the locker room as quickly as humanly possible.

Stephen A. Smith makes me want to get away from a screen faster than a snuff film, or any one of those ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLaughlin music in the background.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #010

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Synopsis: in a game between the Heat and the Thunder, Kevin Durant is slashing through the lane, and is thinking about throwing down a boomshakalaka. Amidst his drive, Dwyane Wade breaks off his cover to challenge Durant, and when Durant takes off, he is met with a Mutombo-like rejection at the rim. Instantaneously, Kevin Durant snaps awake because IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM.

But the dream was real enough to inspire Kevin Durant to embark on a Gatorade-sponsored training montage, where he does every single lift and exercise he possibly can do, while pounding Gatorade products in between.

Eventually, an actual Heat/Thunder game is taking place, and there’s two minutes left, and the Heat are up by two. Kevin Durant has the ball and is bringing it up the court, and is thinking about rectifying a dreamed reality. He cuts and slashes into the lane, and is thinking boomshakalaka. Dwyane Wade sees what’s going on, and breaks off his man, and goes to challenge Durant. Both men go up, but this time, all the Gatorade-sponsored training has paid off, and Kevin Durant takes Dwyane Wade to poster city.

But then Dwyane Wade snaps awake because THAT WAS JUST A DREAM TOO.

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The importance of storming the court

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So while I watching the latest upset of Duke the other night, as the seconds and minutes ticked down, and Duke hadn’t made a barrage of three pointers and Mason Plumlee dunks to cut the gap and overtake the lead, all I could think of was if UVA was going to storm the court when they won. Considering the fact that NC State, Miami and Maryland had all stormed court after beating Duke, and that UVA hadn’t beaten Duke in like forever, so the answer was pretty obvious. Naturally when the final horn sounded, UVA stormed the court as everyone and their mother relished at the sight of Coach K and Duke walking off the court in failure and disappointment.

Seldom is there a Duke loss on the road that doesn’t involve the home fans storming the court. According to the WSJ, an astounding 80% of the home team fans have stormed the court following an upset over Duke over the span of the last ten years. In fact, the article is a little dated and doesn’t factor in the wins of Miami, Maryland and Virginia into the equation so it’s now a little bit more. Obviously, my favorite one is the one shown above, but it really doesn’t matter who it is in the end; everyone on the planet that did not go to Duke loves to see Duke’s men’s basketball team lose on the road and seeing their opponents’ fans storming the court in celebration. I’m pretty sure people would be okay if Duke lost to the Soviets in 1972 and Soviet fans stormed the court, to be perfectly honest.

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Imagine eSports playing sports games

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, I know I take a lot of time and use a lot of words to criticize professional gaming, but really it is very silly to me, and I have a hard time grasping that it’s become so big.  It’s watching people, playing video games; sure it takes talent, but I could watch people playing video games in lots of places.  And based on the frequency in which I see ads for “whatever regional world championship tournament” when I’m playing LoL, it’s hard to imagine that any one particular title has any meaning.

But the funniest thing for me is when I see pictures of the tournaments, and they’ve got these pretty grandiose graphic treatments, and they try to present the matches as if they were like an actual sport.  Out of all of the live graphics that they use, none of them stands out more to me than when a LoL tournament goes to the effort to present a startling lineup card, much like it would be in an NBA or an NCAA game, since it’s five starters.

And then it got me thinking about how LoL positions would compare to basketball positions.  I would use the analogies as such:

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Why can’t NBA players make free throws?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I watched an NBA game while I was eating lunch the other day, because for whatever reason, Moloch Day seemed like an appropriate time to have afternoon specials of NBA basketball. Either way, it was the fourth quarter of a fairly close game between the Pacers and the Grizzlies, where anywhere every single field goal seemed essential. That being said, there was about a four minute stretch where neither team scored.

It had nothing to do with guys getting any bad luck with open shots, or layups rimming out unluckily, it was just a bunch of overpaid primadonnas throwing up brick after brick, with teammates open, while being defended, or opting for ill-advised fadeaways. But the best part about this four minute stretch was that during this time, five free throws were attempted between the two team with the Pacers shooting two, and the Grizzlies shooting two, and one technical shot being taken by the Pacers. All five of the free throws were misses, including the completely uncontested technical.

This seemingly endless slope of degrading free throw shooting throughout the course of the NBA never fails to baffle me how something so easy is so difficult to do, for the supposed greatest basketball players on the planet. I mean, free throws are completely uncontested shots; no defender trying to bump you, reaching up to block the ball, or even put a hand in your face. It’s just the player, 15 feet away from the hoop, with ten seconds to concentrate and shoot a completely unopposed shot; the fact that it’s called a free throw indicates to just how easy it really should be.

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