Tag: basketball

We all know the NBA is racist, but come on

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I admit, I hardly pay any attention to the NBA these days, save for a few days in June, if the Spurs are knocking on the door of championship. But it doesn’t really take more than a casual basketball observer to see what’s going on in this situation, when apparently all of the NBA teams’ general managers got together and conducted a little survey about their respective league and its players, and happened to have one particular query called:

Which player makes the most of limited natural ability?

With an overwhelming majority of 24% of the vote, Kevin Love was voted the guy who made the most of “limited natural ability.” Think about that phrase for a second; it’s almost like saying the “fastest paraplegic runner with no legs” or “most capable clinically dead person.” Okay, so maybe those are some exaggerated examples, but there’s no denying the fact that it’s a very backhanded compliment of an “achievement” for NBA general managers to slap onto a guy.

The thing is, I know who Kevin Love is, because in spite of his apparent ability to maximize his limited natural abilities, he’s actually a pretty popular basketball player. Partially due to his propensity to hit some buzzer beaters from time to time and that he’s a pretty good rebounder, but mostly because the obvious fact that Kevin Love is white. He’s a white guy in the NBA, and has a pretty colorful personality to boot, as humorously evident in his candor in blurting out the very obvious as it pertains to his “win” as the guy to best utilize his limited natural abilities.

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Grant Hill probably wants to kill Jason Kidd

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

No seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised that behind that cool, calm and collected demeanor that Grant Hill always displays to the public, that there is a demon inside of him.  And that’s not a reference to his fancy white-collar Duke education and that he was also a Blue Devil back in those days, but more of a metaphorical devil of jealousy or resentment – towards the existence of Jason Kidd.

From the day they broke into the NBA in the same year, to just weeks ago when both had declared their retirement after 18 seasons, so often was the case was whenever Grant Hill’s name was mentioned, it wasn’t long afterward that Jason Kidd was brought up.  It’s fun for me to theorize by claiming it, and it’s most certainly realistically not deliberate, but as far as I see it, Jason Kidd has spent his entire career essentially, ruining Grant Hill’s career.

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Why I hope the Spurs win it all

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Not that I pay a tremendous amount of attention to the NBA, but it’s almost impossible to ignore when some awful four-lettered “sports channel” is on just about everywhere from the gym to various restaurants.  That being said, I was astutely aware that as of right now, half of the NBA Finals is set, with the San Antonio Spurs securing their spot in the finals.  Meanwhile the Heat and Pacers are duking it out in the east, to see who will oppose them for the championship.

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An attempt to put into words how much I hate ESPN

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s not that want anyone to keel over and die, but if Stephen A. Smith were to keel over and die, I’m pretty sure that not only would I not give a shit, there would be a part of me that would be glad.  Yes, that’s a horrible thing to put into writing, but I can’t really say that it would be an inaccurate statement.

Whenever Stephen A. Smith is on television, which is unfortunately way more than he should be, because the retards at my gym have the locker room televisions set to ESPN, and there’s no known way to change the channels without a remote, and First Take seems to be on for eleventy-billion hour blocks at a time, I want to shower and dress out and get out of the locker room as quickly as humanly possible.

Stephen A. Smith makes me want to get away from a screen faster than a snuff film, or any one of those ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLaughlin music in the background.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #010

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Synopsis: in a game between the Heat and the Thunder, Kevin Durant is slashing through the lane, and is thinking about throwing down a boomshakalaka. Amidst his drive, Dwyane Wade breaks off his cover to challenge Durant, and when Durant takes off, he is met with a Mutombo-like rejection at the rim. Instantaneously, Kevin Durant snaps awake because IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM.

But the dream was real enough to inspire Kevin Durant to embark on a Gatorade-sponsored training montage, where he does every single lift and exercise he possibly can do, while pounding Gatorade products in between.

Eventually, an actual Heat/Thunder game is taking place, and there’s two minutes left, and the Heat are up by two. Kevin Durant has the ball and is bringing it up the court, and is thinking about rectifying a dreamed reality. He cuts and slashes into the lane, and is thinking boomshakalaka. Dwyane Wade sees what’s going on, and breaks off his man, and goes to challenge Durant. Both men go up, but this time, all the Gatorade-sponsored training has paid off, and Kevin Durant takes Dwyane Wade to poster city.

But then Dwyane Wade snaps awake because THAT WAS JUST A DREAM TOO.

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The importance of storming the court

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So while I watching the latest upset of Duke the other night, as the seconds and minutes ticked down, and Duke hadn’t made a barrage of three pointers and Mason Plumlee dunks to cut the gap and overtake the lead, all I could think of was if UVA was going to storm the court when they won. Considering the fact that NC State, Miami and Maryland had all stormed court after beating Duke, and that UVA hadn’t beaten Duke in like forever, so the answer was pretty obvious. Naturally when the final horn sounded, UVA stormed the court as everyone and their mother relished at the sight of Coach K and Duke walking off the court in failure and disappointment.

Seldom is there a Duke loss on the road that doesn’t involve the home fans storming the court. According to the WSJ, an astounding 80% of the home team fans have stormed the court following an upset over Duke over the span of the last ten years. In fact, the article is a little dated and doesn’t factor in the wins of Miami, Maryland and Virginia into the equation so it’s now a little bit more. Obviously, my favorite one is the one shown above, but it really doesn’t matter who it is in the end; everyone on the planet that did not go to Duke loves to see Duke’s men’s basketball team lose on the road and seeing their opponents’ fans storming the court in celebration. I’m pretty sure people would be okay if Duke lost to the Soviets in 1972 and Soviet fans stormed the court, to be perfectly honest.

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Imagine eSports playing sports games

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, I know I take a lot of time and use a lot of words to criticize professional gaming, but really it is very silly to me, and I have a hard time grasping that it’s become so big.  It’s watching people, playing video games; sure it takes talent, but I could watch people playing video games in lots of places.  And based on the frequency in which I see ads for “whatever regional world championship tournament” when I’m playing LoL, it’s hard to imagine that any one particular title has any meaning.

But the funniest thing for me is when I see pictures of the tournaments, and they’ve got these pretty grandiose graphic treatments, and they try to present the matches as if they were like an actual sport.  Out of all of the live graphics that they use, none of them stands out more to me than when a LoL tournament goes to the effort to present a startling lineup card, much like it would be in an NBA or an NCAA game, since it’s five starters.

And then it got me thinking about how LoL positions would compare to basketball positions.  I would use the analogies as such:

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