Tag: movies

Thoughts about the supposed Goonies 2

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t these days, and what’s declared to be real actually remaining real after a little bit of time, but for better or worse, at the time I’m writing this, it sounds like a 40-years later The Goonies sequel is really going to be happening.

My knee-jerk reaction is basically oh god please no whyyyyyy because I really wish Hollywood could leave things that are dead and resting, dead and resting, but seeing as how it seems like allowing The Goonies to have that privilege is coming off the table, might as well allow the ball to continue to roll and brog about it, since it’s evident that this has been on my mind over the last few days while I’ve been waiting for the smoke to clear on whether it’s legit or not, as well as trying to carve time out to write.

Needless to say, I’m not that thrilled with one of my legitimate all-time favorite stories of my childhood being drug out of the 80s just to capitalize on the low-hanging fruit of nostalgia, but what can I say, money is what makes the world go round.  And as Cobra Kai has proven, not every instance of a nostalgia-driven encore is entirely turrible, and although the likelihood isn’t high, I can only hope for the best as far as it concerns The Goonies.

Frankly, if this was ever going to happen, I feel like they’re 10-15 years too late, especially considering the fact that the intention seemed to always have been to bring back as much of the original cast as possible.  All of the OG cast at this point are all too fucking old to be parents to the next generation of Goonies, and they’re at this weird transitional age where they’re too old to be parents to kids but rather teens that are probably older than the original crew, but also a little too young to convincingly be grandparents to the next generation.

But push comes to shove, I’m going to have to assume that the children’s cast of this supposed sequel are probably all going to be the grandchildren of the original Goonies; Josh Brolin is 56 and Sean Astin is 53, and neither are going to convince anyone that they’re any younger than that, so as much as television and film likes to try to convince us that 30 year olds can portray teenagers with attitude, I think it’s probably best to age them up and make them grandparents instead.

Which would probably help to make more plausible the inevitable casting of minorities in the next generation of Goonies, because in the DEI world we live in now, it goes without saying that the next generation is guaranteed to not be a white boys + Data group, and is definitely going to be a little more colorfully diverse by the time this film comes supposedly drops in 2026 or so.

That being said, let’s hypothesize the next generation of The Goonies, apples to apples, because I think it’s obvious that it’s got to be the descendants of the original crew that will comprise the kids’ cast.

  • Mikey will be represented by his granddaughter to be the leader of The New Goonies™; naïve and adventurous, and willing to believe in the remnants of One Eyed Willy’s treasure in the caves.
  • Brand will have married a black woman after Andi dumps him after high school, and their biracial daughter will then have married a black man, and therefore can cast a black male actor to be the descendant of Brand. He will naturally be the muscle and the big brother of the crew.
  • Chunk’s (despite the fact that Jeff Cohen lost all his chunk and is rather fit these days) grandson will be the most likely original Chunk, as in be a chubby Jewish boy who will somehow end up in a Hawaiian shirt and plaid pants, and act as the primary comic relief because it’s funny because he’s fat.
  • Mouth’s grandson will probably be ambiguously biracial, and I foresee someone looking like the next generation’s Mario Lopez will be playing this role. He will undoubtedly be as snarky and blabbermouthed as his grandfather.
  • Data being pretty traditionally Chinese despite the fact that Ke Huy Quan is from Vietnam, will have a granddaughter representing his role, and although she won’t have the trench coat or the backpack full of gadgets and crowd-control inventions, will still be the techie brains of the crew who will probably be good at MacGuyvering shit for the team when they need it.
  • And because the white quotient is starting to get outnumbered, Andi will have a cute granddaughter that probably will look like Sabrina Carpenter taking her place in the next generation, so that Brand can have a potential romantic interest, as well as giving the next generation of young boys something to be confused about through their own respective adolescences.
  • Which brings us to Stef, whom Martha Plimpton has accepted with grace as being the “last” one, will undoubtedly have had an adopted son/grandson, probably white, so that white people still have a slim majority in representation because that’s how Hollywood be, will resume Stef’s legacy of being the tail end of the team, and to provide as much contribution as his grandmother.

As for the actual plot of this film, who really knows what it’s going to be about.  If Chris Columbus and Richard Donner couldn’t figure something out throughout the last 30 years of Donner’s life, I don’t have much faith that anyone else is going to have any better ideas, but it really doesn’t matter. 

If this is going to work, it’s going to have to take place in Astoria, it’s going to have to involve the remains of One Eyed Willy’s treasure, because everyone knows at the end of the OG, the Inferno sails away into the Pacific Northwest, so I’m going to guess that there’s still caches of treasures in the remains of the caves, or perhaps additional ships that The New Goonies can go search for, but as long as the spirit of the film doesn’t stray too far from the original, it stands to believe that this might be able to be as popular with the next generation of kids as the original was to my own childhood.

What kind of irks me though is that I legitimately had plans on saying fuck it, and going to Astoria for my next birthday, by myself, because it’s something that I’ve always wanted to do in my life, and I’m no longer going to expect or even attempt to bring anyone along for the ride, because of people I know, nobody really wants to do this except for me.  Hopefully news of moar Goonies in the future doesn’t re-ignite other OG fans to want to make the same pilgrimage, and ruin my original fandom spurred on by news of a supposed sequel in the works.  Or worse off, by the time I get there, filming has started and I get monstrously cockblocked at seeing all of the original stuff that I had always wanted to see and walk in my own nostalgic life.

Only time will tell, and if any of this shit impacts my future travels, it’s only a question of just how pissed and disappointed it’ll make me.

Let’s talk about Avengers: Doomsday

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So over the weekend, it was unveiled that part of phase 57 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe would be the release of an eventual film, Avengers: Doomsday, where the MCU would be introducing Doctor Doom, presumably to be the next big bad in the series.  But the biggest bombshell to come out of the announcement would be that Doctor Doom would be played by none other than, Robert Downey, Jr.

Now I didn’t see any of the internet outcrying or rage to have come from this, as I don’t pay an iota of attention to anything that isn’t fed to me these days, but I did notice people talking about what people are talking about, so I suppose that in segments of the world, there are people who are salty and disappointed with the notion of RDJ returning to the MCU after publicly declaring his departure from it after Avengers: Endgame.

I mean, I couldn’t care any less about RDJ picking up a second role in the MCU, so many people are quick to forget that Chris Evans was Johnny Storm before he became Captain America, and I’m sure there are several other lesser knowns who have picked up second roles at some point during the 27 years of Marvel movies in existence.  And with the MCU having already established the existence of the Multiverse, Pandora’s Box is wide open for whatever recasting, retconning and changes on the fly as they want.  Earth 6XX is just a digit change away from being able to re-write whatever the fuck Marvel Studios wants to write that will keep the money printer operating.

I’m sure that RDJ will portray Doom with justice, even though Doom is all about dignity and his own code of honor, while RDJ is best when he’s playing kind of an asshole, like Tony Stark was, but I’m still confident that he’ll knock it out of the park when all is said and done, and all the keyboard warriors who are complaining now will be surreptitiously STFU’d and cautiously singing his praises, while worrying about tryhards who keep screen grabs and e-receipts of dumb shit they might be saying now.

However, this isn’t to say that I don’t reaction to the announcement of Avengers: Doomsday without any trepidation myself.  In fact, I actually had to stop and think for a few seconds when I saw the name of the film, because when I hear the phrase “Doomsday,” in the context of comic books, my mind immediately goes to the big ass gray Kryptonian gorilla that killed Superman, which is a DC Comics IP and not Marvel.

Dr. Doom isn’t that far behind at this point, but the fact of the matter is that whenever I think about Dr. Doom in the context of Marvel Comics, to me, he’s a villain that I associate first and foremost with the Fantastic Four, and not the Avengers.  This isn’t to say that there’s not numerous instances in comic history where Doom has scrapped with the Avengers, but comic enthusiasts like me tend to forever mark a guy with whatever property they appeared first in, which in the case of Dr. Doom was Fantastic Four #5 in 1962.

But at least to me, it’s never going to not feel like Dr. Doom is being forced into the Avengers, because to me, he’s not an Avengers villain.  He is, and always will be a Fantastic Four big bad, and for that reason alone, it will permanently temper my ceiling of how good Doomsday can possibly be.

Although I’m sure the writers at the MCU will spin up a storyline that makes it feel organic and will be portrayed, acted and executed marvelously, I just don’t think of Dr. Doom as an Avengers adversary.  He’s the yang to Reed Richards’ yin, but an intellectual equal all the same.  Although he does some pretty extreme things that often results in death and destruction, Doom still has a strong sense of justice and integrity, and has more than once throughout history flipped sides for the greater good, and is one of those bad guys with honor, like Magneto, or even the Joker whenever anyone tries to hurt Batman that isn’t him.

That being said, I personally think that we’re approaching a crossroads for the MCU with Avengers: Doomsday, because ever since Endgame wrapped up phase whatever #5, the MCU has been stretching itself thinner and thinner and risking dilution, overexposure and burning out fans with the rapid releasing of so many spinoffs and trying to produce television and films all while trying to keep them somewhat tangenally connected for the sake of creating the next Infinity War.

Some may disagree and think we’ve already passed this point long ago, and some might think I’m nuts and there’s nothing wrong with the amount of exploding comic media still to come, but speaking for myself, I’m at a point where I’m becoming increasingly unable to keep up with every Marvel production released, and of the things that I have been able to see, not everything has really felt like it’s been worth the time investment.

Moon Knight sucked, Ms. Marvel, She-Hulk  and surprisingly Hawkeye were pretty decent.  I haven’t seen Echo, nor have I finished What If?  I haven’t seen The Marvels or The Eternals, but I’ve heard little but negative about them, and Black Widow was still a film that I didn’t think even needed to exist, save for the end credits scene. 

Tom Holland’s Spider-Man films are still quality, as are the animated Spider-Verse films, but they’re obviously still Sony’s properties first, no matter how badly the MCU wishes they weren’t.  But it’s evident that the MCU is really stretching thin with properties that aren’t X-Men and the reality that contains mutants in them, because we all know they’re sitting on this for phase-616 where they can try to reignite the comics movie craze all over again in the future.

The point of this recollecting of more recent MCU productions is to illustrate the picture that the MCU is kind of treading water in quality since Endgame, and I feel like the journey to Doomsday is going to be a critical one that will either cement the MCU as one of the greatest collaborative collections of media in history, or having fans be wishing for a merciful end to all this fucking comics-based media.

The return of RDJ might be seen as a panic move, or maybe the man just wanted to take a break from comics and go enjoy his Oscar for Oppenheimer, or perhaps this was all part of the plan.  I’m not going to assume that this journey to Doomsday will be bad, and will remain optimistic that RDJ and the MCU A-team can carry the torch back to an entertaining high road again, but at the same time, I wouldn’t be surprise if it doesn’t come with a lot more speed bumps, hiccups and some rougher patches than it did in the earlier phases.

Kid-free weekend musings

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Despite the fact that I haven’t had to wake up before the sun rises to prepare and have breakfast ready for when my kids awake, I’ve still been getting up early.  The first morning, I had forgotten to disable my alarms that ensure that I’m up for the morning routine, and the second morning, the dog whined and woke me up because I had disabled my alarms but that meant she was stuck in the bedroom at the time in which her feeder would go off.

All the same, the idea of going back to sleep didn’t really cross my mind because I’m a neurotic doer who unfortunately often times sees sleep as a means to an end, and as much as I’d like to get more sleep in my life, as long as I feel like there’s an endless queue of things that need to be done instead, those will often times keep me out of bed despite knowing what pleasure sleeping without an alarm clock can bring.

So instead of sleeping more, or preparing a breakfast for the kids, I’ve actually had some calm mornings where I could actually feel a little bit like an old iteration of me for a little bit.  I went on a leisurely morning walk, alternatively to the virtual Peachtree Road Race I ran the morning prior.  I came back drenched in sweat because it’s humid as balls, but then I came home, changed clothes, logged into work, and unsurprisingly had a very slow remote day, where I was able to accomplish all sorts of side quests throughout the day.

Like hanging some picture frames that needed the 22 ft. ladder that I never get a chance to do when the kids are around, got an emissions test on my third car, went to the DMV to renew the tags and got out in two minutes because I used the self-serve kiosk that nobody else uses which left me feeling really good.  I did some kid laundry which felt good to not have to try to do it in a window in which they’re not sleeping so the noises don’t distract them, and I even got a new shelf for my garage to tidy up the shoe tornado that living in a home with nothing but females often results in.

Needless to say, I had a productive day which always puts me in a positive frame of mind, and I decided to reward myself by finally watching Fast X; a completely dumb movie which is about as surprising as white people liking Rivians, but also unsurprisingly enjoyable for me, even if I didn’t know that it was going to be a two-parter.

I won’t give anything away, but I have to say that casting Jason Momoa for the role he’s in seems like a whiff of colossal proportions.  I feel like the number one priority for the role was “look like he could be South American” but they didn’t take into account any of the character’s mannerisms, personality traits or general perceived look.  And as hunky as Momoa is, the reality is that he’s not a very talented actor, and it really says something when a Fast & Furious installment has pushed his acting chops beyond his capabilities.

All the same, can’t wait for the next one, which I feel like has to be the actual finale to the series.  Vin Diesel’s not getting any younger and it’s looking as such, the character development is heading in a direction that I’d say should be irreversible, but they seem to throw caution to the wind when it comes to those kind of rules, and the only thing I will give away is that Paul Walker’s character is still fucking alive despite the fact that the actor has been dead since Fast 7; they just can’t keep this ruse up forever!

Anyway, this morning, after the dog woke me up at 7:26am which might as well be 10am for me, I thought about possibly going back to sleep after taking her out to pee; but after we came back inside, the bowl was empty, because the feeder was empty because the dog eats like a horse, but then the tub of extra food was empty, which meant that I had to open up the new 40 lb. bag of dog food to fill the tub and feeder and bowl, and at that point I was just like fuck it, I’m staying up.

So, I got back on the horse and went for a run.  I’ve been coming to the grips that at this juncture in my life, my running speed isn’t what it used to be, and short of making some actual adjustments to my way of life, I don’t think it will get back there.  I’d been struggling to keep my pace under the 10 minute/mile as of late, and I chalked it up to poor diet, habits and complacency, and I was able to get it back down under ten, but that also was the result of several consecutive days of running while I was at my sister’s place in Richmond without having to be a parent.

My Virtual Peachtree was completed in 1:04:36, which I’m pretty sure the slowest timed 10K I’ve done since I started doing organized runs back in 2007 which was a little disappointing, but as I said, unless I really make some changes to a lot of things in my life, like taking stat points away from weight lifting and eating and putting them into running, things aren’t going to get any better as I age.

It’s a little inevitable since Father Time is undefeated, and the sooner I accept it, the less angst I’ll have about running as a whole.

So, I ran while trying to keep that mindset in place, and ran in a manner which didn’t have me gasping for air when I inevitably failed to complete a sub-30 minute 5K, which was the case, and just took solace in the fact that I was up and doing something, and when it comes to exercising, I’m fortunate to have always had the mindset that it is always a good use of time.

I’m not the fastest runner or strongest lifter, but I can confidently say that I’m probably the most consistent and dedicated exerciser that I know.  It’s never been a fad, it’s never been something I’ve done to attain a physical goal.  I made the choice to start hitting the gym and exercising back in 2006, and short of a few exceptions like coronavirus lockdowns, have I ever taken an extended period of time off from it.

No matter how down on life I might feel, how envious of the lives, accomplishments and lifestyles of other people, I feel like I always have exercise to fall back onto.  It is never a waste of time, and often times it helps get my head in a better place than which it started, or at least get my brain chugging along, which is what brought us to this point where I’ve been able to blather on so seamlessly this morning, after the run.

If there were a gun to my head to relax, I’m as good as dead

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The kids were shipped off to the grandparents this weekend, and it’s not only a kid-free weekend back home, it’s a long kid-free weekend, since it was parlayed into July 4th.

I recall the immediate feeling of pressure being released after dropping the kids off and driving home, but a lot of it more had to do with the fact that I was driving to a destination with a predetermined time with goal, and the fact that it was an obnoxious trek up I-85 given the usual array of crap drivers on the road.  The drive back down to Atlanta was certainly less occupied, leading to an easier drive, but the mental weight of not facing a clock being off the table felt palpable.

However, there was also another feeling that I was feeling after handing the kids off to grandma; I already miss my children.  That feeling actually started pretty immediately, watching grandma’s car pull away with the girls in tow, and it’s funny because as much as my kids drive me bonkers on some days, and as much as I complain and bemoan the lack of support I feel, and wish there were times where I didn’t have to be a parent, whenever those instances actually come to fruition, there’s nothing more I feel than how much I miss my kids and how much I love them.

That being said, when I got back home, I basically went through the rest of my day like a lost ghost, unable to figure out what to do, paralyzed by indecision, and completely incapable of relaxation.  Like the title of this post states, if a gun were put to my head and I was told to relax, there might as well be a clock over my head to count down when the trigger would be pulled to put me out of my misery.  I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this pathetic condition, but it’s also not often that I’ve ever in the circumstances of being completely kid-free at home where I don’t actually have to be a parent for a few days so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m regurgitating a trite topic.

I tried to decompress and wind down and watch some television, but that didn’t last long.  I watched the last episode of season 1 of Succession, which was a show that I thought I would like more than I did, but it’s just been a little too slow of a burn for me, and I have doubts on if I’m going to keep watching more of it, or deciding to punt.  I tried to follow it up with a layup of something I thought I’d like in watching the latest episode of The Boys (S4E6), but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling distracted, and dicked around on my phone through more of it than it deserved.

Ultimately, I ended up tidying up both of the girls’ rooms, tidying up my bedroom a little bit, and tidying up the bathroom where the girls have wrecked shop.  I made a list of other menial tasks that I could try to tackle while the home remained kid-free, but the point of the matter is that I spent very little bit of all this free time, actually being free and relaxed.

As I’ve said many times before, the ability to relax is a genuine skill and it’s a skill that I simply do not have.  At the same time, I am not envious of those who do have this skill, because deep in the recesses of my mind, I’m probably judging everyone who is relaxing too much and thinking that they’re lazy and not doing a laundry list of things that I think they could be doing instead of relaxing.  I think what trumps my self-pity at being incapable of relaxation is the sense of satisfaction and accomplishment I feel when I am alternatively being productive.

All the same though, if Sunday afternoon comes, when I’m feeling the clock again at trying to be somewhere on time in order to pick up the kids, and I haven’t taken even just the smallest sliver of time for myself, then I’m going to go straight back to feeling like I’ve squandered all this free time, and be salty and full of piss and vinegar about it.

I really wonder if this conflict in my head could be considered somewhat of a disorder, or if I’m just simply too wound-up of a personality that needs to learn to fucking relax.

Prior to this, during one of the occasions where we watched some television as a family, we were watching some of the newer episodes of Bluey, which I’m convinced is pretty much the greatest show in existence for this generation, the episode titled Relax was basically speaking directly to me.  I know I feel like Bandit a lot for the obvious reason that he’s the Dad of the family with two daughters, but in this particular episode, I 1,000% was Chilli, as the parent who is entirely incapable of relaxation.

It’s astounding just how many episodes of Bluey are just so sniper accurate at detailing what parenting feels like in this day and age, at least to me, and as the episode was unfolding, I knew where it was going, but I still was unable to avert my eyes at the obvious conflict that was going to arise as Chilli wanted to get everything in order, wrangle the kids and just get down to the god damn beach.  And the feeling of getting some time, but not knowing how to actually turn off and relax hit harder than a baseball bat.

So, all I can do instead of anything sedentary and mindless, is brog about it.  These last 20-30 minutes could’ve been used relaxing and finishing the last book I started and haven’t finished yet, or watching an episode of a show on my list 74 titles deep.

I wonder if one day, I will be able to acquire this skill to relax, or if I’ll always be plagued by the need to always be doing something productive.  If I’m a betting man, I think I’ll have to bet on the latter. 😩

#TRYHARDSZN2024: No better way to celebrate Ivy Day success with McD’s

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

McSauce: Connecticut teenager accepted into three Ivy League schools, among “other prestigious colleges”

Honestly, the most astounding thing about this story is that this is the first #TRYHARD that I’ve come across that isn’t just white, but is also a white female.  This isn’t meant to be a sexist remark, but for whatever reason, there doesn’t seem to be many stories come TRYHARDSZN that involve white people in general, much less white females.

I guess considering the demographics of the majority of TRYHARDs, we’re hitting a saturation point where suddenly white people are becoming the minority, especially when it comes to acceptances into Ivy League schools.

It’s no more prevalent than when the article tries to extol all the qualifications of why the TRYHARD deserves to get into an egregious amount of schools, there’s practically nothing.  Vague on extracurriculars, no dropping names of activities she’s done, no SAT scores, no GPA listed, and the only tangible thing mentioned are the 11 AP classes she took, which honestly is nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to any high schooler wanting to go to college these days.

When it comes the deluge of college applications Ivy League schools receive every applicationSZN, they’re probably all minorities; mostly Asians, no less.  I bet they have people combing through all the applications and looking for obvious Hispanic and black applicants to meet their quotas, and at some point they realize just how few white applicants they’re getting, and start filtering for them in a panic, so they can be true to their claim for having diverse student bodies and populations.

Regardless, I like how this TRYHARD was waiting to get food at McDonald’s when she found out she had been accepted into Harvard, Yale and Columbia.  In various places in America are some really salty Asian parents whose kids with 1500+ SATs, 4.5 GPAs and Honda Odysseys full of extracurriculars and electives whose kids won’t be getting into Harvard or Yale.

I wonder if she proceeded to get her more than likely 10 pc. McBoots and fries after finding out she was accepted into these schools, or if the excitement of acceptance made her forget about her appetite?  If the former, her digestive system probably thanks her, but if not, she and her sister were undoubtedly celebrating her good news with a healthy game of Battle Shits; I hear it’s a popular game amongst white girls at Ivy League schools.

TIL  that the Hound was also Lurch

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I don’t know why, but for whatever reason, I’m getting a tremendous amount of Game of Thrones clips being fed to me on social feeds.  Perhaps it’s because of the announcement of House of the Dragon’s second season is coming in the summer, I don’t know.  I definitely fall into the category of fans that were largely unimpressed with how the television series came to an end, but seeing a cavalcade of GoT clips from seasons before the ending, did remind of just how brilliant the show was prior to its conclusion.

It almost makes me want to marathon the entire series all over again, but after watching eleven seasons of Shameless in short order, I’m definitely not wanting to commit a ton of television time on something that I’ve already watched before, especially since my queue of things to watch is already about three year’s worth of content long, so I’ve been fairly content to just scroll and imbibe on short clips for the time being.

I would say that throughout the show, I tended to favor a lot of the side characters over the core cast.  I’m basically pegged as House Stark until I die, but really, my interest and enjoyment of the show always revolved around the happenings of characters that weren’t necessarily from one of the great houses, like Bronn, Brienne, and Sandor Clegane.

And speaking of the latter, one of my many favorite scenes from the show would be the part where Sandor and Arya go into a tavern, and come across several shithead Kingsguard soldiers, and the Hound basically goes on a diatribe about eating chickens and it culminates with him, and Arya killing all of the soldiers, with Arya getting her sword, Needle back from the one that captured her and murdered one of her friends.

But it was in this clip that I did notice a comment from another viewer that posted a screen grab of Lurch from Hot Fuzz, and making some remark that made the connection that the Hound was Lurch.  No fucking way was my knee-jerk reaction, but it’s also something that I never thought about before, and staring at the picture of the dim-witted heater of the Sandford Neighborhood Watch, I begin to really see that there’s a possibility.

Of course, next game Googling Rory McCann’s film and television history, and sure as shit, confirmation that Game of Throne’s Sandor Clegane was definitely the same guy who played Lurch from Hot Fuzz.

Color me amused; the same guy who was Lurch, just so happened to be one of the sneakiest, underrated and complexly most developed character in the entire Game of Thrones television series

Yarp indeed.

CHIDI FOR KANG

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’ve finally gotten around to starting to catch up to the legion of Marvel films and shows after around the time of like, Ms. Marvel or She Hulk.  Over the last few days, I’ve managed to get through Thor: Love & Thunder, Black Panther 2, and one that I’d earmarked as a source for a future brog post, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. 

With Secret Invasion out, I didn’t want to fall further behind, to the point where I’d abandon ship and not watch any of these things for a few years, and then fall completely out of the loop for when some of the more interesting Marvel properties start releasing, and I’ll have missed out on some backstory from required prerequisite viewing.  Sometimes I hate the feeling of obligation to have to watch some things, but at the same time, I am a Marvel fan, and I often times take enjoyment out of watching all these shows and movies in spite of the general sense of superhero media fatigue the internet likes to claim there is.

But as I alluded to, Quantumania was one that I had specifically earmarked, because one, I like Paul Rudd, his portrayal of Ant-Man, and I thought the movie would be entertaining, regardless of how much the internet seemed to shit all over it not long after it had released.  I take internet reviews with not even the metaphorical grain of salt, and they simply hold zero weight at all when it comes to judging most things, and Ant-Man 3 would be no exception.

But two, also not long after the film had released, it was revealed that the guy playing Kang the Conqueror, Jonathan Majors, had some dirty laundry aired out, with the revelation that he was basically an abuser of women.  And in this day and age, as well as Marvel/Disney always trying to maintain their image, it’s safe to assume that we’ve probably seen the last of Jonathan Majors in the MCU.

The problem is, Majors’ role as Kang is quite large, as he’s basically the next Thanos when it comes to being the big bad that all of the current phase(s) of Marvel film and television are building up towards.  So despite it being the correct and appropriate call to 86 the guy for being an abusive asshole, it’s still egg on Marvel/Disney’s face that they have to figure out what to do to replace him in the future.

Really, it shouldn’t be that difficult, because in the era of the Multiverse where just about anything and everything can be retconned and reimagined at a moment’s notice, replacing a character probably isn’t the most difficult thing to accomplish, and I’m sure that by the time the Kang Dynasty storyline begins wrapping up, most people will have forgotten that Jonathan Majors was even the guy first introduced as the character.

However, and to the point of this whole post, I proposed a much more blunt and easier option: just fucking flat out recast the role.  Just like when Terrence Howard was replaced by Don Cheadle for the role of James Rhodes, nobody said shit, there were no sneaky clever jokes, Iron Man 2 just picked right up with Cheadle playing War Machine like he was there the entire time, and not a single soul sold it at all.  Do the same thing with Kang, and despite the fact that he’s already appeared in Loki, and his face was plastered all over Quantumania, just straight up replace the guy and don’t bother with any re-writes or try to reinvent the wheel at this point.

Continue reading “CHIDI FOR KANG” →