The craziest part about all these distractions

A little while ago as I was doomscrolling, I saw this one meme.  At this point, I can’t remember what it was about, whether it was Iran getting bombed, the rise of shitty gas prices (again), a bunch of dumb white guy CEOs biting into hamburgers, or whatever, but it went like, The craziest part about X is that [orange fuckface in the white house] is named in the Epstein Files over 3,000 times.

For whatever reason, this stuck with me, and I really began to actually think about recognize about all the shit going on in the country and across the world, that really are just a whole bunch of distractions to the fact that the sitting president of the United States has been named countless times in the Epstein Files.  And of course, not a single fucking soul is doing anything about it, and as much as I want to love my country of birth, I just end up hating it a little bit more each time I think about it and am reminded of such.

A few years ago, I felt like I had one of those life’s revelations that in spite of the constitutional right to have information, the media really does go out of their way to steer people away from thinking about bigger issues, and at the time, there was a big hullabaloo about the Washington Redskins finally agreeing to change their name, conveniently at a time where the country was in turmoil over coronavirus, Black Lives Matter demonstrations, and just the ‘usual’ state of civil unrest.

That was probably the first time I really noticed and recognized a scenario of mass distraction like that, and despite the fact that I was like 40 years old, it felt like one of those naïve moments of realizing that the world isn’t quite as innocent and altruistic as we might want to believe it is. 

We are truly never too old to learn and realize new things.

Either way, that’s kind of where I’m at these days, feeling frustrated, disappointed, and generally mad at my country for being so simple-minded and easily distracted to bigger things.  Obviously, I knew nothing major was really going to come out of the initial release of Epstein Files, because Washington is a spineless and gutless swamp full of people with all the cards who would absolutely not narc on each other, and would sooner eat their young than to act in a manner that positions themselves contrary to the mutation of whatever direction-wing that the right has transformed into these days.

It’s almost flabbergasting the lengths that the current administration has gone to in order to get people not talking about the Epstein Files, and that the actual president of the country is named literal thousands of times in it, which is absolutely not a good thing, considering the context of just about everything else in them.  Like, the United States basically started a war, with Iran, in order to get people to avert their eyes somewhere else.  And then predictably, war-like conditions always result in a spike of gas prices, and for the people lucky enough to remain blind to World War 3, they definitely wouldn’t miss the escalation of gas prices on the homefront, and then they’re busy being miserable about that.

But honestly, it’s the fucking noise about the McDonald’s CEO and the wimpy bite he did, and the ensuing chatter and bullshit that has emerged from that, that has me feeling the most enraged.  Because there’s literally an unearthed horrific global pedophilia ring that was just revealed, but people would rather expend their energy debating and analyzing some rich asshole taking a bite out of a hamburger.

As much as I loathe all of the fucks in Washington that are keeping our entire country as the cesspool it’s been downgraded to, I have just as much vitriol and disdain for all the people in the country that fall for such elementary distraction tactics.

I digress though.  This is a topic that I really didn’t want to expend any energy on, because politics are all shit and I hate them, but it’s like when I’m on social media, and I see things that I want to comment on, where I can utilize the template of “the craziest thing about X is that [orange fuckface] is in the Epstein Files,” but I don’t want to deal with the rebuttals and responses of anyone who does live on that side of the fence, because their stupidity would undoubtedly be detrimental to my general state of mental health.

So to my safe little brog that nobody reads, where I can pop off about whatever topic I want, without there being any real chance for any recourse, even ones as inflammatory as politics are.

I highly doubt Buc-ee’s cares what the BBB thinks

USA Today: The Better Business Bureau gives Buc-ee’s an F rating, primarily due to their lack of response from customer feedback

When I first saw the headline of the BBB giving Buc-ee’s an F, my knee-jerk reaction was something along the lines of, what inane bullshit reason can there be for the BBB to give Buc-ee’s an F?

And when I saw that it had almost entirely to do with the fact that customers were complaining, I knew right away that the rating meant pretty much nothing, and that people at Buc-ee’s probably could not give any fewer shits than what the BBB thinks of them.

A part of me figured some anonymous BBB plants were sent to various Buc-ee’s throughout the country, to rate on some standardized criteria, and that they were probably a bunch of white collar city hipster dorks who wouldn’t understand the Buc-ee’s brand and mentality, and that they collectively gave it an F rating.  But when I learned that such was not the case, and that the rating was based on the assessments of random pleebs, then this F rating became even more meaningless than what IL0veCorgis and Xx_BigDickP3RKIN5_xX thinks about local public transportation on their local ABC network affiliate’s comments section.

Of course Buc-ee’s doesn’t give a shit about the complaints about them people make to the BBB, much less expend any time in order to try and resolve them.  People only go to the BBB when they’re upset about things in the first place, and for the things that people are complaining about, they can threaten that they’ll never go to a Buc-ee’s again, because the honeymoon period with a lot of these joints is so never-ending that one big mad customer vowing to never go there again means nothing when their grand openings require entire police departments to control the crowds.

Like, personally, I haven’t gone inside a Buc-ee’s in a long time, and it’s not solely because I haven’t passed one.  The last few road trips to Florida, my household has chosen to not go to them, mostly because we don’t want to deal with the crowds and the masses of humanity that go there.  I still love the brand, I love the products and food, but while their popularity is still nuclear, I’d rather not deal with the crowds.  But if I were in a situation where I could hit them slightly off-peak, I’m going in in two seconds.

My guess is that the people who complained to the BBB did not take such concessions, and went into the lion’s den at peak times, and were upset by things that happened because most Buc-ee’s outside the state of Texas are massive clusterfucks of humanity that shit easily slips through cracks at.  Frankly, it’s their fault for choosing to do so; you can’t be mad at Target employees on Black Friday for them succumbing to chaos, because to anyone who’s ever been to a Buc-ee’s can probably attest that it was like a mini-Black Friday to them as well.

Needless to say, the Better Business Bureau acting on the reactions of idiot customers makes them come off looking like jealous fatties for rating a successful operation like Buc-ee’s with an F.  It’s not a great example comparison because I’m actually on Buc-ee’s side on this one, but it’s like Buc-ee’s is the asshole CDO Manager from The Big Short who was played by the guy who played Ryu in the Van Damme Street Fighter, and the BBB is Mark Baum, but their debate concludes with Buc-ee’s arrogantly offering to compare bank accounts, and see who the world favors.

Buc-ee’s is out there printing money, minding their own business, and sure, they’re not a perfect company, but neither are their customers.  The BBB can fuck right on out of here, coming at Buc-ee’s like this, but I guess there’s little other way to try and be relevant than going at businesses more successful than they are.

The James Gunn Superman: Not bad, DCU

Perhaps it was the sporadic clips of the film I’d catch occasionally on theFacebook algorithm, but I finally broke down and decided to actually watch the James Gunn variant of Superman.  And I have to say that the general takeaway from the experience was that it wasn’t a DC comics flim that left me wondering why DC even bothers trying to compete in the comic book film space in the first place.

Considering how low the bar is for DCU films, I do have to admit that JG Superman was pretty decent.  For starters, they jump right into the film without any sort of lore-building for Superman, because at this point in existence, it’s a safe bet that anyone who is taking the time to watch this film more than likely already knows the general nuts and bolts about the character without needing to expend 30 minutes of build-up.

That being said, that’s one of the endearing things about the film, is the fact that they don’t really treat the viewer like they’re idiots.  That, and occasionally injecting some moments of levity and humor, like the MCU had been doing over the last few decades was a good touch to help give brief reprieves and passive reminders that this was still a comic movie and comics are supposed to be entertaining and sometimes humorous.

Mr. Terrific was probably my favorite character in the film, and I’ll be honest I have no idea who he was prior to this, but after watching the film, I’m more inclined to Google him and learn more about him, and potentially be excited to see him again if he ever pops up in a future DCU production in the future.

But I think what made the film better than most other Superman films in the past, is the fact that this was a very vulnerable and generally nerfed edition of Superman.  As the comics have demonstrated throughout history, when Superman is too overpowered, he gets old, really, really quickly.  Like it’s no fun at all if every adversary is a finger flick away from defeat, and there are all sorts of plot holes that can emerge from an over-reliance on Kryptonite in order to create any modicum of adversity to ‘ol Kal-el.

However, JG Superman starts off the flick by getting his ass beat, and throughout the duration of the film, without giving too much away, Supes definitely gets his ass beat up quite a few times, and actually faces hardship and difficulty throughout the film, and although we the viewers all know he’ll prevail in the end, at least we might actually feel like he’s earning it, instead of just spamming his god-like power minutely and winning decisively.

That’s really all this post is about, the JG Superman was a DCU film that didn’t suck.  I don’t feel compelled to blurt out hater-iffic bullshit like, stick to animation, why does DCU even try, and things that thousands of other nerds on the internet have probably already said before.  Sure, it is mostly on account of it following a lot of MCU tropes, but if something works and you’re not utilizing it, that’s on you.

It will be interesting to see if the DCU can actually parlay this variant of Superman into an actually decent overarching DCU universe, much like Marvel did, and if they can built up a streak of positive equity, or if it will crash and burn like a lot of their previous attempts to world-build.

The Substance was one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time

In one hand, I don’t throw this claim around lightly – I think that I can be picky about the things that I really like, and I’ve been told a bunch of times in my life that I’m a difficult person to impress, where it’s not necessarily intended to be that complimentary as much as it is an accusation of being excessively picky.

However, in the other hand, I don’t watch a tremendous amount of movies to where I’m remotely close to some wizened film expert whose opinion should be taken beyond a grain of salt, and I’d be the first person to disclaim such when explaining why I liked this movie, or any film that anyone wishes to discuss with me.

Anyway, The Substance: I do believe that it was one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time, and it was one of those situations where I’m ¾ through the film and I’m just thinking about how interesting and enjoyable of a watching experience the whole thing had been, and coming to the conclusion that this really has been one of the better films I’ve seen in a long time.

It’s interesting too, because I recall this movie came out quite some time ago (2024), long enough to where I remember it being talked about on The Howard Stern Show, when I still had a SiriusXM preview active,  since there’s a tremendous amount of skin shown in the film.  But for people like me, if it’s not available on a streaming service, it might as well not exist, and just recently did it makes its way onto HBO Go Max Max, thus coming into official existence as far as I was concerned, and mythical wife went ahead and started up when we were at one of those weird crossroads where we didn’t want to start another show, and just wanted something singular and hopefully entertaining to be a pallet cleanser in between shows, and for me it was one of those welp, it’s started, time to watch it, experiences.

From start to finish, I found the film to be cinematographically wonderful, with lots of colorful and aesthetically stimulating shots and scenes, the art direction was inspiring and I loved the whole branding mission The Substance parent company embarked on with their dedication to branding everything they produced as far as packaging and messaging went.  The score was catchy and I enjoyed the rhythmic techno beat that seemed to permeate throughout the whole film.

The word I’d use to best describe The Substance is “visceral” because man, do they not shy away from close-in macro shooting of anything from slovenly scarfing down shrimp cocktails, administering stitches, to all sorts of gruesome, gory, taboo acts that make people like me cringe and/or whip out my phone and try to look away instead of watching more.

And of course, the story was thought-provoking and poignant and if it makes me think about life, and what I’d do in such circumstances, then I think it’s a case of upper echelon storytelling.

The ending section of the film goes so off the rails and bonkers, that I have to imagine that it was probably a wildly entertaining sequence to have been present in a theater full of people when it occurred.  And when it concludes, I was left having felt entertained, satisfied and in an overall good headspace because I had been entertained and inspired, and eager to sing the praises of the film for succeeding at all of the above.

I told mythical wife after we were done watching it, that I thought that this was probably the best movie I’d seen the whole year, and in the grand spectrum of things, it really was one of the better films that I’ve seen in a long time.  I still think about it, and one of the biggest compliments I could give a film is that if I were to walk into a room and it were on, I’d watch it again without much complaint about needing to better utilize my limited free time and watch things that I hadn’t seen before.

I think I’m entering that stage of life

Actually, there’s no thinking that I’m entering it, the reality is that I’ve already entered it, it’s just that there’s a part of me that has been kind of in denial about it, and the reality is that we’re like at, phase 2 or 3 of it now instead of just entering it.

I’m talking about the point in our lives where a parent(s) begin to lose their independence, and for lack of a better term, we’re entering the end game phase of life.  It’s been going on with my dad for the better part of the last two years, with an increase of health ailments and incidents, loss of balance and falls, and an increase of medications, doctor appointments as well as just general concern for well-being from my sister and I.

My dad is getting up there in age, and it’s a tough pill to swallow that with every single medical incident, he’s getting closer and closer to the exit, than rebounding back to the independent and capable hard-working dad that’s been in my life.

Naturally, this is nothing out of the ordinary for most kids who care about their parents, and I’ve bore witness already to many close confidants in my life to have gone through this stage of life themselves.  I’ve been to more funerals over the years than I care to admit, but at the same time, such seems to be one of those rites of passage that simply exists on the passage of time, and if we’re being honest here, it’s probably only going to increase as time progresses.

However, it’s different in the sense that it’s now in progress with my own parent now, seeing him gradually deteriorating from the effects of Father Time, he who is undefeated and undefeatable.  It’s not just a sense of sadness and melancholy at it being my turn, as much it’s a whole lot of increasing stress at working with my sister to make sure that he’s not being preyed upon by predatory service providers, from home repairs, realtors, to any crook  out there hoping to take advantage of vulnerable seniors.

It’s frustrating, because my sister and I are constantly skating around this line where my dad is struggling with losing his independence and facing his own mortality and making a lot of questionable decisions independently, but then there are times in which the man won’t make a decision to save his life, and is waiting on my sister or I to make them for him, before he inevitably doesn’t like it and then protests it.  It’s like dealing with my 4-year old sometimes.

In his perfect world, he’s able to tie up all loose ends, sell his home and seamlessly transition into some sort of senior/assisted living to where he can live out the remainder of his life comfortably.  Obviously, seldom is life that accommodating, so in my perfect world, my sister and I are able to get him out of his house where he’s one really bad slip trip or fall from dying discreetly, into a good senior/assisted living facility, and then we can close up shop on our own, retroactively.  It’s just that we’re dealing with his abrupt changes of mind and quick trigger when it comes to deviating from any sort of plans that have already put into motion, mostly on account of his all-too Korean tendency to listen to friends and peers above his own children.

Honestly, I’m trying to get my dad down to Georgia, to get a clean slate and live out the remainder of his life down here closer to me.  I have a place in mind that I think would be very ideal, and unlike the money-driven cesspool that Northern Virginia is, rent is not asset-based flexible (read: flexes based on how much liquidity you have), and my dad would probably be able to comfortably sustain his living conditions on his SSI and retirement income without bleeding out financially.

But the clock is definitely ticking, in that we have to move expediently to get him out of isolated living, and into a facility where he can at least get daily wellness checks to make sure that he doesn’t fall and there’s nobody remotely close to help out with.

All the same though, I feel as if I’m in end game, and I hope to make the best of the time that I do have left with my dad, and bringing him down to Georgia would be a very positive initial step.

Happy Trails, Roy Hobbs

AP: Actor and activist, Robert Redford dies at the age of 89

Throughout the long history of the brog, I’ve been saddened by the passing of many notable figures and shared my words and thoughts for those whom have meant the most to my general existence.  I’ve stated numerous names, of individuals who really had massive imprints on my general state of life, those whom help mold, shape or have a permanent residence at the forefront of my brain.

Guys like Sonny Chiba, Dikembe Mutombo, Kevin Conroy emerge quickly, as people for whatever reason or contributions to the shit I’ve seen in my life, always maintained permanent resident status in my head, and even to this day, guys whom I’ll make references to or think about when it comes to the countless analogies and metaphors and comparisons that I make when thinking about things around the world.

Well, Robert Redford is up there on that echelon of individuals in the world that left an indelible mark in my life, and I’m feeling melancholy about hearing about his passing.  I can’t really say that I’m so much sad about it considering he was 89 years old and had clearly lived a full and prosperous life, but for those that will miss him the most, my heart goes out to.

However, I should be more specific, that my general fandom and appreciation for Robert Redford stems from a role he played in a film, based on a book that also left an indelible impression in my life, which is The Natural by Bernard Malamud.  After falling in love with the book, the movie was enjoyable, which really opened my eyes to who Robert Redford was, as he was portraying the intrepid Roy Hobbs, the former pitcher turned old rookie wunderkind, crushing home runs all over the place with this homemade baseball bat.

And although the film didn’t portray it like the book did, Roy Hobbs was a human vacuum cleaner of a legendary eater, prompting one of my oldest friend groups and I to use his name as inspiration for whenever we wanted to destroy buffets all across Northern Virginia and eat like Roy Hobbs was trying to fill the void left in his heart from the early baseball career he never had.

Furthermore, Roy Hobbs became something of a pseudonym for me through a variety of online endeavors, like the pen name I wrote through on Talking Chop and a variety of other Vox websites, and was usually my go-to when it came to utilizing an online handle on gaming platforms like Xbox Live or League of Legends.

Regardless, through Roy Hobbs I learned Robert Redford, and although Roy Hobbs was but just a single role played in a legendary career, whenever the thought of Roy Hobbs emerges in my brain, it’s Robert Redford that I see, and for that alone, made me a fan of Robert Redford.

It’s funny, because as learned of his existence was I made aware of just how much work he’s done in Hollywood, for Hollywood, and the film industry in general, but it wasn’t until really reading several obituaries and tributes to the man did I realize just how much more he did, as far as his support for independents beyond just Sundance, as well as his activism, trying to make the world a lesser pile of shit than it is on the regular.

Robert Redford was truly an extraordinary human being, and it’s like I discovered him in a reverse order sort of fashion; gravitating towards him on account of a singular role, but then learning more about him after the fact, as opposed to the other way around.

It’s a sad day in Hollywood, film and even literature to hear about the passing of Robert Redford, but at least as far as I’m concerned, he’ll always be relevant and worth mentioning, if for anything at all, being the guy who was Roy Hobbs.

Karate Kid: Legends – nobody asked for this

While coming home from a trip, I negligently forgot to bring my iPad which serves as absolutely nothing but a glorified Kindle, and I didn’t want to burn out my phone’s battery utilizing the shitty plane wifi.  However, I did remember that I had a set of wired headphones in my backpack, so I decided to actually capitalize on the in-flight entertainment and watch a movie to help chew up the flight time.

I ultimately landed on Karate Kid: Legends, because it aligned pretty well with my flight time, and this was the perfect class of film that is best seen on an airplane where I’m a captive audience, and I wouldn’t really want to watch this on my own time at home.  Despite the fact that I’m a big fan of the Karate Kid franchise in general, just about everything about this film gave me a feeling that it probably wasn’t going to be great, and as an airplane flick seemed like the most fitting place to watch it.

And almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the film was pretty much everything I thought it would be, this really mediocre ball of mediocrity that just barely did the absolute bare minimum of keeping my attention while feebly re-telling the tale of the Karate Kid for the umpteenth time to try and cater to another generation in spite of the fact that older iterations of the story do it just fine as long as modern viewers can get over their biases of things that appear older than them.

Like, the title of this post was exactly what I felt after watching Legends.  Nobody asked for this film to be made, and if anything at all, this does a massive disservice to the Karate Kid franchise as a whole, especially after Cobra Kai had built up so much equity after it’s wildly popular run.

I get that following Cobra Kai is an extremely unenviable position to be in, but there was always the option to just not make anything at all, at least for a little while, so that the mood of success and victory from CK could hang around for a little bit, before releasing something to re-ignite the fanbase.  But not only was Legends made completely unnecessarily, it was dropped in a manner of time that was frankly more detrimental to the KK universe than it would be beneficial.

Worst of all, it was just a severely mediocre story, even if it was mostly just a regurgitation of the original concept.  The general linear path of a KK re-telling was entirely there; protagonist moves to a new place, meets girl, gets beat up by local martial arts practitioner, trains up, topples adversary in a tournament, gains respect.  But the side quest of Joshua Jackson’s character being the former boxer who runs a pizza joint who borrowed money from the wrong people seemed wholly unnecessary and seemingly could have been completely cut without it really impacting the story was weird to me. 

And then of course when Jackie Chan comes to America to guide his former pupil, it was a bit cringeworthy to how forced and obvious it would be that shocker, he just so happened to know Mr. Miyagi too and naturally they were of course friends in a life long ago, which then loops in Daniel LaRusso, thus tying together the original series to Jackie Chan’s Kung Fu Kid, in the lowest of low efforts of connecting the series all together.

All while leveraging the set that was obviously put together on Netflix’s dime for Cobra Kai, which is probably the only justifiable reason to have released this as soon as they did, so that they could utilize existing sets instead of having to rebuild any shit, years later.

Worst of all, for a film called “Karate Kid” the action in the flick was pretty disappointing.  The main kid was a competent kung fu practitioner, but one bad scuffle and he basically abandons it for shitty Miyagi-Do style karate, before hitting paydirt when he blends the two styles together.  But fight sequences were pretty minimal, and for those who want to actually see some martial arts action, it’s massively underwhelming, with the tournament being 3-4 randos in weird alleyways, basketball courts and renovated bodegas before getting to his last boss which is on a rooftop like the last boss of the original Twisted Metal.

The point remains, this was a film that didn’t need to ever exist, but still happened anyway, which to me is the ultimate sign of a cash grab.  And fewer things seem to support that accusation than the absolutely lackluster performances from all performers in the film, from Jackie, to Macchio, even to Joshua Jackson and even Ming-Na Wen, whom seems to be the actress with the golden touch at how she’s somehow always able to get her finger into every notable franchise throughout her entire career.

This is where I say I’m glad that I watched this on an airplane, because I’d be really disappointed if I had seen this out in the real world, where I might have had a thousand other better things that I could’ve done with those 90 minutes.  But frankly, I still think I pulled the trigger on picking this one a little too preemptively, without at least seeing what other things I could’ve watched on Delta in-flight alternatively, but at least I got a little inspiration to make a post about it.