Tag: owned

ABS is the gift that keeps on giving MLB

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Larry Brown Sports: seven ancient-tenured MLB umpires accept buyouts from the league to retire early, including notoriously oft-questioned umpire, CB Bucknor

Make absolutely no mistake, this story is probably 95% on account of the fact that the automated ball and strike system has nuclear-power kicked open the door of exposing umpire ineptitude, with the other 5% being that there’s an extremely high chance that the entire league is going on strike after the 2026 season and that there will be no or a shortened 2027 season on the near horizon, and Beaner wanted to give their old boys club a chance to get out ahead of time.

But really, this has almost entirely to do with the fact that the ABS system has wreaked havoc on the umpire fraternity, and this seems like the safest way to get many of the most exposed umpires out the door with the most minimal amount of further humiliation at how bad they are at their jobs.

I know it’s been a divisive topic among baseball fans, with lots of old school old heads not liking the advancement of change, and that old school part of me can understand it, but I’ve been a sports fan long enough to know the frustration and aggravation of missed officiating ruining and tarnishing games, so even if it means that there’s a chance that it goes against the outcoming I’m hoping for, I’m generally accepting of the fact that this newer system of accountability is in place, in the event it helps the probabilities that I’m hoping for.

Let’s not sugar coat it, baseball umpiring has been among the worst when it comes to league oversight.  No other major American sport, do fans know the names and faces of officiating crews more than they do in baseball, primarily for reasons of disdain, dislike and hatred.  It didn’t take me long at all to learn who Tim McClelland, Joe West and Angel Hernandez were in the past of notorious umpires, and it took me no time at all to understand the significance of CB Bucknor headlining the latest list of umpires getting pushed out the door.

And not to go unnoticed is Laz Diaz, whom despite not being the headlining name, was very clearly listed second in the list of umpires sent packing.  Whether it was intentional or not, smart of him to sneak in underneath CB, so that some of his heat is mitigated by a worse umpire.  But make no mistake, I’m about as pleased to see Laz getting the boot as much as Bucknor is, because he too, fucking blows.

I digress though, when change this large crashes over, it sometimes turns into those scenarios where we might not like the devil we don’t know that’s looming ahead of us, versus the devils we just sent out to pasture.  I still believe that there’s an extremely low chance that there’s even a baseball season in 2027, given the MLB Owners basically speed-running the inevitability of a work stoppage, with their list of demands that the players will more than likely absolutely not agree to, but regardless of what happens when baseball is back on the field after the 2026 season, as far as the umpiring goes, it’s probably going to be, one of baseball’s favorite cliches, a brave new world.

But at least it will be one where umpire culture is getting something of a hard-reset and hoping that we the fans (and those like me who pretend to be them) won’t ironically know and react to the names of every umpire that is slated for the games we want to watch.

White people know no bounds when it comes to wanting to be mad

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was at the airport when I saw the yellow official Peachtree Road Race shirt for 2026.  I thought to myself, whoa cool, it’s yellow, seeing as how since Adidas took over the production of the shirts in like 2022, they’ve been peach, blue and red, so there really hasn’t been any hard rule on what color they were supposed to be.  And seeing as how I tend to favor the color yellow, mostly for ironic reasons, I looked forward to when I would get mine, since I’ve since been a mere virtual runner the last six years because no iota of my being wants to get up at 3:30 am to go wait at the Lenox mall parking lot to run the Peachtree in person anymore, when I can do it at my own leisure.

However, over the span of the last 24 hours, I’ve seen at least 5-6 posts fed to me from algorithm, of people I have no idea who they are, as well as local news outlets, all, for lack of a better term, talking or debating the yellow PTRR shirt.  Almost entirely fueled by hatred, by, unsurprisingly, white people who are completely bent out of shape over the fact that the shirt is yellow and not red, white and/or blue, primarily, in honor of the fact that this is the vaunted 250th anniversary of the United States of ‘Murica. 

The news outlets are obviously cleverly feeding off of this reaction, and are simply querying the masses, fully knowing that the negative engagement is still engagement all the same, and the comments sections that I can’t resist looking at, are almost entirely echo chambers of salty white people all saying the same nonsense about how it should be red, white or blue because 250, and a whole lot of people corroborating this opinion because most people with brains know better than to jump into these lions dens of poorly veiled racism and orange fuck supporters.

However, it’s to the point where I can’t just simply chalk it up as white people being salty and actively looking for reasons to be pissed off, but more that the reactions and opinions and choices of words seem to be so uniform, so echoed and so similar that I can’t help but wonder if these are all the actions of bots and AI, deployed by the types of farms that are designed and meant to incite and provoke, knowing that even negative engagement is still engagement, and engagement equals profit somewhere down a line.

All the same, if it really is that all these reactions and posts are genuine human beings, all consistently and collectively being mad over the fact that a run’s shirt is yellow, it goes back to the title of this post that white people truly know no boundaries when it comes to the innate desire to be mad about, anything at all.

It’s funny to me that this reaction did not happen when in 2023 the shirt was said to be peach, but is this weird sickly orange-y color that borderlines pink, but as long as it was called peach, it could be justified, seeing as how the name of the fucking race is called, The Peachtree.  But yellow probably makes the right white immediately think about the evil Chinese since yellow is the negatively connoted color associated to Asian people, despite the fact that yellow variations of popular ‘Murican muscle cars are oft-coveted, but it doesn’t matter because yellow = wrong.

All the same, I dig the yellow shirt, and I look forward to when I get mine.  The Adidas versions of the PTRR shirts over the last few years are all great, because they’re no longer cheap, Gildan-like cotton t-shirts that I wouldn’t really ever wear, but are mesh, workout-caliber shirts, that immediately go into my rotation of workout apparel, and get regularly worn.  The fact that simply wearing them on my own walks and runs is going to incite white people, will only be a cherry on top, aside from just liking the color and design in the first place.

Stay mad, white people, I look forward to observing what pisses y’all off next.

Bobby Bonilla Day presents the 2026 MLB All-Deferred Money Team

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

This year, I actually learned that there was a Bobby Bonilla in history before Bobby Bonilla took the Bobby Bonilla deal that turned every July 1st into Bobby Bonilla Day.

And it was actually a player for the Atlanta Braves, which is astounding seeing as how as a, for lack of a better term, Braves fan, I did not know about this, as well as the fact that the Braves are among the cheapest teams in the galaxy these days, so it’s doubly amazing to see how they were once wrapped up in a Bobby Bonilla-like arrangement, ever.

But in 1984, the Braves signed reliever Bruce Sutter to a six-year, $9.6M contract, with $4.8M of that deferred, at an interest rate of 13%.  And between the years of 1992 and 2022, the Braves paid him $1.12M a year, and I don’t know how and when the interest compounded through the life of repayment, but he was paid $9.1M in 2022, the final installment of the pact; and I don’t know the specific date of the payment, but it should be noted that he also died that same year, and I think it would be ironically funny if the narrative were that he stayed alive long enough to ensure that the cheap-ass Braves paid him his money before he could rest.

Also impressive to me is that within the duration of the repayment plan, the Braves’ ownership had transferred from the free-spending Ted Turner regime, into the stuffy corporate penny-pinching Liberty Media ownership company that as choked the team into this mid-market team, crying poor all the time, caring more about fiscal responsibility to shareholders versus trying to remotely operating a baseball club to victory.

I’m sure Sutter’s contract was an excruciating blight for the Liberty Media bean counters to inherit, and they probably were counting the days of the last 12-13 years of the deal, and probably remains a large part of why the Braves will never play in such deferral tactics, regardless of how effective it is proving to be capable of.

Needless to say, I’m not sure how accurate the math is, since deferred monies have a tendency to be invisible in online payroll records, but Sutter managed to parlay $4.8M into at least $41.58M through a Bobby Bonilla-like payment plan, and seeing as how there was a twelve-year overlap between when Sutter’s payments and the Bonilla’s started, I’m surprised the whole thing didn’t meme out to be Bruce Sutter Day instead.

That’s the strength of the whole LOL Mets meme, I suppose.

Anyway, it’s July 1st, so that obviously means it’s that time of the year again, where a 63-year old Bobby Bonilla receives a $1,193,248 paycheck from the New York Mets because they didn’t want to pay him $5M in 2000 after 141 horrible plate appearances in 1999, and decided that it was more preferable to pay him nearly $36M over 30 years starting a decade later.

And in honor of Bobby Bonilla Day, I take my yearly deep dive into the state of the MLB to try and construct a hypothetical roster of players receiving deferred money, share some stats about them, as well as share all sorts of shade about the practice, the cheapness of the Braves, and other opinionated takes.

Continue reading “Bobby Bonilla Day presents the 2026 MLB All-Deferred Money Team” →

The Knicks winning is my 12-year old self’s dream come true

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I knew that I was vested in the Knicks when I stopped watching or following the games, because that’s what I do when I want a team to win.  I don’t watch, because my presence will obviously cause whatever team I want to win, to lose.

I was on an airplane, en route to Seattle for a night before getting on a longer flight to Seoul, when mythical wife turned on game 5 on the in-flight live television. We had just watched two World Cup matches of wildly different skill levels, and we still had an hour before we landed, and despite her being aware of my superstitious beliefs, turned it on anyway, because I like to believe that as a former New Yorker, she felt some modicum of support to the Knicks and wanted them to win as I did.

There was 1:26 left and then Knicks held a slim lead, and I’ve been in this position enough times to know that me tuning in would be akin to the kiss of death, that the Spurs, probably Victor Wembanyama was going to hit some crazy impossible three-pointer to take the lead, survive game 5, and propel them to overcoming the 3-1 series lead and win the NBA Finals.

But such did not happen.  As has been the case since really, the last two years or so, this Jalen Brunson-led squad bent a little bit, but did not break.  Defenses did their job, rebounds were corralled, and they’d get to the free throw line, and convert just enough to keep them mathematically out of the realm of a game-losing shot.

The last 29 seconds of the game predictably lasted about 29 minutes as both teams leveraged their remaining time outs, and strategized their foul usage to attempt to manipulate the win probability charts as best as they could.

But the New York Knicks held, they did not yield and break, and for the first time in 53 years, won the NBA championship.  Bringing ultimate basketball glory to a franchise and city that has been starving for one for a literal lifetime.

This championship is for the city of New York, which I normally don’t hold a tremendous amount of regard for, but can understand decades and generations of basketball fans who have been hoping to see a Knicks championship, same as I did for a period of my time.

True story and not just because it’s convenient to rehash this narrative because they just won the ship: when I was a kid, I was a gigantic New York Knicks fan. I’m not entirely sure how it even started, perhaps it was the contrarian in me that really wanted to see Michael Jordan lose in the 93 playoffs, and was ignited by John Starks’ The Dunk on Horace Grant and MJ, but for better or worse, I can earnestly say that my first favorite basketball team was the Knicks.

Tough choice of when to declare my fandom, seeing as how the Knicks would squander their 2-0 lead against the Bulls, but such would kind of set the tone for my journey with them.

Continue reading “The Knicks winning is my 12-year old self’s dream come true” →

Running it back to #TRYHARDSZN

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

WSB: Henry County teenager accepted into 264 colleges, amassing allegedly over $17M in scholarship dollars

I’ll be the first to admit that I kind of shot myself in the foot when I decided to chronicle what I would coin as #TRYHARDSZN, where high school students from across the world but somehow mostly from Georgia and not just because I live here and they’re the news that’s spoon-fed to me the most, embark on this ridiculous rat race of applying to as many colleges as possible, and then silently competing against one another with how many acceptances, scholarship dollars, Ivies, or whatever cherry-picked convenient criteria they all want to flex in order to, well flex.

Because sure, going to college is a goal, but it’s become pretty apparent that it’s not the goal, when it comes all the kids that embark on this journey, and for jaded skeptics like me, it doesn’t so much impress or inspire me, so much as it rolls my eyes, raises questions, and wonder if anyone else sees just how misguided and missing the point the pursuit of college is, beyond trying to outdo one another at how much insufferable humblebragging they’ve earned the right to do.

The main question that usually comes top of mind to me is, what about the application fees? to which seems pretty obvious that all these #TRYHARDS are more than likely not paying any, because if any of them had to pay the $75-100 per I had to pay in 1999, which would probably be twice that today with inflation and white man greed, then they wouldn’t be applying to 270 schools.

But then I came across this story, about a #TRYHARD that wasn’t just the average run of the mill overachiever that applied to 75, got into 50, and amassed a respectable $3M and settled on an HBCU willing to give a completely free and clear ride.  No, this is a #TRYHARD that saw the bar, wanted to beat the bar, and embarked on a mission to do it, and then succeeded.

The article makes it pretty clear that the pursuit of college wasn’t so much the objective as much as it was to surpass the previous national record of college acceptances of 231, naturally set by a fellow Georgian, based on all the quips and observations made about this legendary-tier #TRYHARD, who applied to 270, and got accepted into 264 of them, amassing allegedly over $17M in scholarships.

Now I don’t know where $17M ranks in cumulative scholarship dollars, but 264 acceptances is quoted as being a national record, breaking the previous mark of 231 acceptances set by a girl from Georgia in 2024.  And it was a mark that this #TRYHARD was aware of:

(Their) initial goal was to reach 100 college acceptances. However, after reading about [previous #TRYHARD], a 2024 graduate of Liberty County High School who was believed to hold a national record of 231 college acceptances, [current #TRYHARD] decided to break the record.

So this kid decided to apply to nearly 200 more schools, all with the objective of breaking a meaningless record, probably unaware of the fact that the time in which they were accepted at a school and not making a decision so they can parade around humblebragging about their acceptances, kids that are waitlisted have to sit there with their dicks in their hands, waiting, while some insufferable asshole boasts about how many other schools they were accepted into alternatively.

Frankly, I’m curious about the six schools that this #TRYHARD didn’t get into.  My knee-jerk reaction is that they must have been Ivy League schools, because they’re still for lack of a better term, considered the cream of the crop as far as collegiate learning is concerned, but the fact that they are left unmentioned leaves a lot of room to assume that they could be any other school from MIT, William and Mary to University of Idaho or University of American-Samoa.

And considering their “overwhelming” academic credentials of 3.8 GPA and a 1200 SAT, I’m inclined to believe it’s more likely the latter.  Don’t get me wrong, I had a 3.8 GPA and a 1310 SAT, but I didn’t run track or do any internships, and everyone knows Asian folks get the hard-mode handicap that probably turned my credentials into like 2.9 GPA and 990 SAT and that I got into Virginia Tech because it was still pre-Michael Vick putting the school into the national spotlight.

What’s interesting but unsurprising is the fact that in the end, despite the fact that their herculean scores would have qualified them for basically a free ride at Georgia, or any other public college or university, #TRYHARD has decided to attend Knox College and actually pay money:

a private liberal arts college in Galesburg, Illinois. He has received a scholarship package worth about $260,000, meaning he owes about $5000 per term.

This typically deviates from the usual #TRYHARD journeys of people really phishing for where they could get the most free education as possible, but perhaps this one is just really eager to get the fuck out of the state.  In some regard, I can relate.

But Galesburg??  I do know of Galesburg, because it’s the home of one of the best social game restaurants I’ve seen in the past decade, as well as where Chelsea and Yamir from 90 Day Fiancé live(d?), but the reality is that it doesn’t change the fact that it seems like a shitty suburb close enough to Chicago for residents to try and claim being from there, but far enough where Metro Chicago snobs want nothing to do with Galesburg.

Whatever though.  This kind of #TRYHARDing was #TRYHARD enough to get me to actually feel the compulsion to address it, in spite of my general exhaustion of writing about them from last #SZN.  And unless anyone comes out of the woodwork this late in the #SZN, hopefully I won’t have to touch on this hashtag ever again for the rest of the year.

I’m sorry, but this was one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a long time

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Source: kid in China gets spinning helicopter kicked in the lower abdomen region by robot performing a martial arts demonstration

I know it’s in poor taste to laugh at the painful expense of another person, much less a child, but I can’t help it.  This is legit one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a long time, and I can’t stop myself from busting out laughing every time I see it. 

I know my tune would do a 630 if the victim in question were one of my kids, but I like to think that even in time, I would see the humor in it and eventually find it funny, because it really is that entertaining to me.

Straight up Homer Simpson cracking up at Hans Moleman’s football in the nuts video vibes here.

But it’s just so entertaining, to the point where when you’re watching it for the 10th and 20th times, you begin to dissect everything about it, from the ridiculous blue afro wig that the robot is wearing, to the fact that in spite of a child getting hurt, everyone is laughing about it, and pretty much nobody is seen giving one iota of effort to check in on the child, who is doubled over, and falls out of the crowd in discomfort.  I’m hoping that in the seconds after the video is cut off, the robot, which has returned to its starting point, bowed to the audience.

And because it’s in China, you know almost nobody will help the kid, because it’s expected that parents take care of their own, but in a lot of Little Emperor culture, lots of kids are borderline feral at the lack of hands-on parenting they receive, to where they end up in scenarios like this, unsupervised and in potential danger.

I mean, you can kind of see the imaginary border that onlookers were adhering to, in order to give the martial arts robot some space to operate.  And the kid that got decked, was well past the border, and kind of got what he deserved for being in the line of fire.  In fact, the boy behind the victim was probably relieved that pink shirt got the boot, because he definitely would have caught it otherwise, because robots are clearly as shitty martial artists that McDojo-trained kids are, and was nowhere close to a full rotation before swinging that kick out.

Needless to say, let this be a painful lesson to this little emperor for neglecting to stay out of the way and prioritizing his desire to see something stupid over his own physical safety.  He will undoubtedly become scarred by this incident, and hopefully become an opponent over the excessively aggressive advancement of AI and robotics.

It would be funny if in 24 years, we learn of some activist in China who is spearheading some group or organization that is generally in opposition to robots and AI, and explains that it all started with a sunny afternoon in Xinjiang, where he got helicopter kicked by a ill-programmed robot.

Pro Tip: how to never get any red lights while driving

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Are you sick of how many red lights you encounter on your commute to work?  If so, this is the advice that will change your life for the better!

And it’s actually really quite simple.

Right before you get into your car, send out a few text messages to a friend(s), respond to a group chat, or fire off some good memes to some bros.  And before you can get sucked into the vortex of your phone, get in your car, start the engine, and begin your drive.

If you’ve got quality companions on the other ends, they will respond or react in some fashion that will ping your phone back, and tempt you to want to look at your phone.

For the record, I am not endorsing texting while driving, or egregious looking at your phone while driving.  I’d be lying if I said I never ever ever have done either in my life, but especially since I have kids, I do try to be better at practicing what I preach, which is to remain as distraction-free while driving, especially when the girls are in the car.

However, not that it’s really that much better, I do have a tendency to check my phone when I’m at red lights, that I’m familiar with and I know I can get away with 20-30 seconds to look; yes, I know that in the State of Georgia, such could be construed as illegal, but I’m also human, easily distracted by my phone, and like I said, only when I know I have like a good 20-30 seconds.

All the same, the point of this method is that by engaging a bunch of friends or groups before you get in the car, you invite the possibility of responses or reactions, and in classic Murphy’s Law, the pings and notifications will inevitably tempt you want to check, but slightly more responsible drivers will resist, and tell themselves, at the next red light.

But brothers, let me tell you, once you tell yourself that, you will more than likely not get a single red light for the remainder of your drive.  And the longer you have to wait, and if you’re apt to get that anxiety that not responding quickly enough will derail the momentum of a potentially entertaining conversation, the more likely you will get all the green lights, and somehow to never get snagged at any red light, and have the opportunity to check your phone.

If you think I’m lying or full of shit, try it out for yourselves.  At least in my personal experience, the more people engage me via phone, and I’m actively in the midst of driving, the success rate of getting every single green light and never getting a chance to satiate my curiosity skyrockets.  And it’s only when I’m bored and unstimulated by anyone else, will the droll cadence of red lights get back to normal, because there’s no eagerness to engage tempting the fate of the street lights out there in play.

Try it out though, I would suspect that I’m not the only one who can manipulate this real-world RNG to work to their benefit, and I bet it’s likely to work for many others besides myself.