Tag: cars

About as big of a surprise as Clay Aiken revealing he’s gay

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, I know I dog on the Chinese a lot, but to some degree I can’t help it because I’m Korean, and all us Chinks rag on each other all the time.  Not that it’s really anything that’s really acceptable in the first place, so let’s chalk this up on animosity towards the Taiwanese baseball team for trying to cheat by illegally scouting the Korean team.  All the same.  Now it’s war, motherfuckers.

Anyway, there was recently a story about how the Fung Wah bus company, which provides dirt cheap bus service between the New York City and Boston Chinatowns, facing scrutiny under allegations that 75% of their buses are under code and fail all sorts of safety standards.  Cracked frames, busted steering columns, not to mention Chinese drivers who don’t speak a lick of English, and probably are illegals to begin with, but apparently it’s just now that Fung Wah is facing some scrunity, after almost a decade of debacles.

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Why do so many people in the hood drive like this?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Just about everyone has probably seen it.  Yet ironically, no appropriate images of it as an example really exist anywhere on the internet that I can find.  The above image is the closest thing I can find that comes remotely near representing it.  But not a day goes by where I don’t see someone driving their car in this seemingly pose that I’m wagering that anyone who looks around would also see on a very regular basis.

The pose is almost always a male; right hand at the 10 o’clock position on the steering wheel.  Their left arm is resting on either their left thigh or the arm rest of the driver’s side door, elbow bent, with their hand floating inches from their nose/mouth, but not actually touching it.  Fingers are curled.  And almost always, the seat is reclined back beyond a typical angle, and it almost looks like the only thing keeping the driver upright is the fact that their right arm is gripping the steering wheel at an unorthodox angle.

If you can visualize this description, this is where it sinks in that you may or may not have noticed seeing people driving like this before, or like me, regularly.

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The most obvious of “I give up on life” cars

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s funny whenever I think about cars that belong in the I give up on life category, Saturns never really crossed my mind.  But in a way, it’s fittingly appropriate in several ways; one, because Saturns are the most forgettable car manufacturer in history, and two, Saturn as a car company is dead, and has been dead for going on three years now.  Unfortunately, three years isn’t enough time to wipe them from existence as their turds on wheels are still being capably driven on roads across America as we speak.

Saturn was essentially a joint venture between General Motors and Rubbermaid (not actually true) that put out mediocre plastic (mostly) cars that were cheap to buy, cheaper to maintain, and supposedly cheap to repair when necessary (often, being a GM), in exchange for your dignity (factually accurate).  But after twenty years of sucking souls, Liu Kang and the automotive industry had enough of Saturn Tsung’s soul-sucking tendencies and putting an end to the Saturn brand, hopefully for good.

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The importance of rear spoilers

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I was sitting at a red light this morning, I saw this car pull into the left turn lane. “Nice blue color there, I didn’t know the Hyundai Accent came in that color,” I thought. And then my eyes noticed that it wasn’t wearing a Hyundai badge, but a Subaru badge. My eyebrows furrowed upon noticing this, and then I was thinking “what the hell car is this?” Upon scanning the rest of the vehicle, I saw the badge that I didn’t think was possible to be on such an unimpressive, mundane looking vehicle: WRX.

I’m aware that I’ve been talking about cars a lot lately, or at least making car-related analogies, but that’s how the brog works, I write about the things that trigger the impulse to write, and seeing this piece of shit this morning made me feel like writing about how pathetic and sad the Subaru Impreza WRX has become.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #004

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The first thought that crossed through my head after I saw this commercial was: “Divorce papers. With a red ribbon around them.”

Not only is this commercial indeed stupid, I actually hate it. Man goes through hoops to discreetly purchase a Smart car for his wife for Christmas, only for her to become instantaneously and ungratefully smitten with a piece of shit Buick cruising down the street.

In short, man gives gift, wife is ungrateful bitch.

Although the message is very much fictitious, and I honestly will foolishly give benefit of the doubt that there really are that many people who would be so ungratefully crass to rebuff an expensive and clearly high-effort gift literally three seconds after receiving it, I just really, really hate the message in general.

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Golf drivers kind of ruin Golfs

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I like the Volkswagen Golf.  I’ve liked just about every iteration of it, even when it was called the VW Rabbit.  Ultimately, it was the reason why I ended up liking hatchbacks in the first place, and it’s that bias that led me to driving the 5-door hatchback I have now.  I would most definitely would own or would have had a Golf at some point by now, except for the fact that its price point has always eluded me by putting itself into a range that I just simply couldn’t justify for a means to an end like a car.

But it doesn’t mean that I can’t still be an admirer of the car still.  I like its fairly modest appearance, while having a good deal of performance as well as the practicality of spaciousness and storage that most hatchbacks afford.  During the riceboy days, most VW Golfs could compete or best most of their Japanese competition out of the box, provided the levels of trim were appropriately compared.  And the aftermarket part culture was just as favorable and customizable to Golfs as they were anything made by Honda or Nissan.

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Adobe software is a lot like cars

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When Adobe released the CS6 Suite, maybe one entire year after they had just released CS5, I didn’t have high expectations for it, the moment I saw that they had redesigned the software down from the splash graphics to the software’s workspaces.

Recently, I ran into a problem in InDesign CS6, where I couldn’t get a particular file to print, or export to PDF.  Upon attempting to initiate either task, the program would crash.  It was related to a problem in the file itself, as troubleshooting with blank new documents or other projects did not replicate the problem.  After about 20 minutes of frustrating unsuccessful troubleshooting, I realized that I had still not uninstalled CS5.  I saved my problematic file out as an IDML legacy file, and opened it up in InDesign CS5.

It printed without any complications.
It PDF’d without any hesitation.

In conclusion, it didn’t work in CS6, because CS6 is fucking retarded.  I thought about it for a second and chastised myself, because honestly, this was, and shouldn’t ever have been, much of a surprise.

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