Too easy

Readers formerly known as my six readers might know that I have this strange fascination with trucks full of food stuffs crashing on the highway.  And throughout the years, especially in Georgia, we’ve seen quite a smorgasbord of food overturned onto the roads, from hams, beer, potato chips, more beer and turkeys spilled in magnificent messes, due to mostly the negligence of the drivers of these delectable consumables.

And throughout it all, I’ve always had something to say about each such incident, mostly overly sarcastic remarks about how the food spilled onto Georgia highways could amount to one massive banquet had the food not been declared inedible on account of it spilling onto asphalt.

But this incident, with a truck full of watermelons spilling onto the I-85/I-985 split up in Suwanee?  I got nothing.  Sometimes, there are some things that just write themselves, or the pictures do all the talking, and when a truck full of watermelons dumps its entire load onto the highways, resulting a temporary but complete closure of the road so that GDOT crews can basically sweep red sticky sweet slush and rinds off of the road, there’s really not much to add, without the humor going very inappropriate in the process.

What a visual though.  It’s absolutely everything that you’d expect to see upon hearing a watermelon spill.  I’d imagine that if I were trying to leave the city northbound, and then came to a complete standstill for reasons unknown, I’d probably eventually become livid.  But upon the even the eventual crawl through of ground zero, and seeing wet roads, red slush and rinds all over the shoulders, I’d probably end up laughing maniacally at the ironic reveal.

Whatever though, add it to the list!  Watermelons.  Might make a decent dessert option in the never ending buffet of food lost to the Georgia highway system.

I’m on PayPal’s side

I never really noticed it, because I’m a human being that has a functional brain and knows how to read things before I press buttons, but apparently, there are actually people out there who get tripped up by the similarities between the PayPal logo and the Pandora logo, and now PayPal is suing Pandora for trademark infringement.

Consumerist accuses PayPal of going a little too far in dragging Pandora’s reputation onto the ground, to which they’re not entirely wrong, but I think you also kind of have to think of if you were PayPal; another well-known entity out there has basically lifted your identity and colors, and dumb people are confusing someone else with you.  That’d piss me off too, and make me say some unpleasant things publicly, if it helps expedite a resolution.

Ultimately, PayPal’s redesign came first, so in my opinion, they have the high ground in this debate.  And I think they do have some ground to stand on, because sure, Pandora is only one P versus two, but it also doesn’t help that the blue gradient within the Pandora P is basically mixed out of the two solid blue swatches that make up both of PayPal’s P’s.

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OH GOOD WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

In case the passing of Campus Carry didn’t make it clear enough, the AJC wants people to know that guns will be allowed at tailgating events in Georgia.

Look at the picture above: after July, a tailgate in Athens will still look like that, except that concealed behind strategically placed articles of clothing will be shitloads of guns.  What could possibly go wrong when oceans of alcohol are introduced, and when audacious opposing fans on the premises trigger instant animosity?

I can’t shake my head enough at the stupidity of Campus Carry.  It is something I can’t get over, and I feel extremely fortunate and safe that I am not in college anymore, much less in Georgia, and that I do not really know anyone who is still in college anymore these days.

This is not a matter of if, as I’ve probably already said before.  It is most certainly a query of when, the first shooting incident and/or fatality is recorded because guns are allowed on campuses throughout the state of Georgia.  Provided there is no gun-related incidents prior to the start of the college football season, I’m looking at two dates in particular as high-risk for shootings: October 28, when Florida rolls into Athens and November 25, at the annual Georgia vs. Georgia Tech game, which will be played at Tech, in Downtown Atlanta.  I will not be the least bit surprised if an incident(s) of gun violence breaks out at one or both of these events.

The outcomes are fixed, but the moves are still real

And highly dangerous in the hands of untrained Missouri rednecks.  There’s an amount of jokes I’d want to say in light of the context of this story, but considering a two-year old little girl was killed because a man was a stupid piece of shit, I will try to be a little selective with my choice of words.

I’d be lying if I didn’t demonstrate my adult strength over a child before, but the difference is that I’m not actually throwing my nephew or the kids of my friends in any manner that can cause anything other than delirious laughter and want for repeat performances.  But that’s the difference between adults with brains, and those without.

Considering the perpetrator in question here was actively abusing his teenaged girlfriend’s kid to begin with, it’s almost another level of sadism that he was performing wrestling moves with the likely intent that wrestlers portray on television, but with no training from either party, resulted in actual pain and damage.

I’m actually surprised that the article actually names any specific moves, citing that among the numerous physical traumas inflicted on the kid, one of them was a Batista Bomb, which those in the know, know is a sit-down power bomb.  Honestly, I’m actually perplexed on how this actually worked considering the difference in sizes between a 24-year old idiot and a 2-year old toddler; like dropping into a sitting position would physically make it impossible for the kid to hit simultaneously, but why am I even bothering pondering this, when the lack of training probably made things worse, in a lethal way.

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I find this offensive

Who is the ultimate Warrior?  Between Stephen Curry and Kevin Durant?

How about fucking neither?? 

How about having some god damn respect for the most polarizing man in the history of the professional wrestling, and not comparing him to an industry full of bitches and is somehow more fake?

Look, I get that ESPN is all buddy-buddy with the WWE these days, and I know Stephen A. Shit is pretty much the worst talks-about-sports guy in history, but jesus christ it’s never a low they’ll sink to in order to have a clever quip or graphic to put onto screen.

Neither is an ultimate warrior, but if you had to answer who was the best between the two, the answer is obviously Stephen Curry.  The guy won without Durant, and then Durant being the lazy gravy-training leech, jumped ship from a great team onto the best team, hoping to coast his way to his own ring.  I mean, never in my life did I ever think that anyone would be clawing to join the Golden State Warriors, but I’ve also seen the Cubs win the World Series too.

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lol Rito, let’s try this again

The actual reason that the public won’t see: after SK Telecom trampled the competition, Riot Games is kind of tired of Korea owning the League scene, so they come up with alternate international events that mitigate the amount of domination that can be exhibited.

Introducing Rift Rivals: A League of Legends international event where Korea only gets to dominate (collectively) one other region, instead of all of them.

If anyone remembers, Riot tried a No Homers Club before in 2013, when the did the Battle of the Atlantic,* which pitted solely teams from North America versus teams from Europe.  Obviously, this was arranged in a manner in which the two regions could compete against each other, without getting shit on by the superior level of competition from Korea, Taiwan and China but mostly Korea, and ultimately it was a fairly lackluster event, with a convoluted and lazy format that Europe ultimately won because their 3-4-5th place teams defeated NA’s 3-4-5, despite the fact that NA’s 1-2 defeated their 1-2.

*a stupid fucking name if I might add, because despite the fact that the Atlantic Ocean is indeed what separates North America from Europe, games would be held in Los Angeles . . . y’know, along the Pacific Ocean.

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The Gwinnett Barves

A little bit of backstory: the Atlanta Braves are one of the few organizations in baseball that owns the majority of their minor league affiliates.  It’s why all the teams they own are called “Braves;” the Danville Braves, Rome Braves, Mississippi Braves and Gwinnett Braves.  At one point, they stressed the importance of naming all their teams Braves, so that they could really reinforce brand awareness and strengthen their identity to all parts of the Southeast in which they resided in.

This was a stark difference to the vast majority of the rest of Minor League Baseball, who had team names that were often more whimsical and often identifiable to their specific towns/regions, like the Montgomery Biscuits, Modesto Nuts, Las Vegas 51s, Buffalo Bisons and Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp just to name a few.  It was almost a rite of passage for young players to work their way up the ranks, through teams with less than prestigious names, before they had the chances to hope to play for one of the 30 Major League Baseball franchises.

Personally, I’ve always felt the Braves were an organization of squares, to name all their minor league franchises Braves, in such a calculated and serious-business manner.  Like their 18-year old rookies in Danville might be able to close their eyes and imagine that they’re in a 35,000 attendance ballpark in Atlanta and suddenly translate playing like a major leaguer in their rinky-dink park that maybe 35 people are actually at.  Or that their fans will automatically love the Atlanta Braves solely because their favorite players in Jackson, Mississippi were ultimately traded to the White Sox or Diamondbacks.

Anyway, what prompted this post was this news that I saw that the Gwinnett Braves are taking suggestions for new names for them to use in starting in 2018.  The Atlanta Braves are finally opening up to the idea of naming one of their Jesus affiliates something other than “the Braves.”

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