Tag: baseball

Go G-Gobblers!

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Surprising nobody: the Gwinnett Braves announce finalists for the team renaming contest and they all suck:

  • Gwinnett Buttons
  • Gwinnett Big Mouths
  • Gwinnett Gobblers
  • Gwinnett Hush Puppies
  • Gwinnett Lambchops
  • Gwinnett Sweet Teas

I mean, it was a forgone conclusion that the new name was going to be a PC-friendly, vanilla, uncreative and probably determined regardless of votes, but c’mon, these are pretty particularly poor as far as options go.  Sure, passive-aggressive griefing options like Tax Burdens and classic no-brainers like the G-Spots weren’t going to get through, but surely some way better options must have fallen by the wayside in this shitty contest.

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What happens when people look for things to be offended about

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

A little bit of research goes a long way: girl looking for something to bitch about on Twitter is triggered by seeing the strikeout counter at a Braves game on television reading “KKK”, immediately voices her outrage in 140 characters or less and is ridiculed for not knowing a standard ballpark tradition

See, this is exactly what happens when people actively seek out things to pretend like they’re offended by, so they can sound like social justice avengers on the internet.  And what happens when you don’t double-check your words or do a little cursory research to see if maybe, somewhere on the internet, the answer to your outrage, might actually exist.

I love the text delivery of

Definitely NOT ok.

With the all-caps NOT and the stern looking period after ok.  I know it’s hard to interpret emotion out of text, but I can only imagine the artificial and determined offense taken by this twerp who had admit to being bored and basically decided to let herself get triggered to help pass the time.

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As if there were any reason to like Clayton Kershaw more

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I like Clayton Kershaw.  Dare I’d say, I’m a fan of Clayton Kershaw. He holds a little bit of history for me as a baseball fan; in 2008, when I really embarked on going gung-ho about visiting ballparks, and my friend and I hit up Southern California to hit up the Dodgers, Angels and Padres, the first park on the trip was Dodger Stadium. 

We had little idea of what to really expect, since neither of us were Dodgers or Cardinals fans.  We knew we’d see Albert Pujols, and I knew that I wasn’t going to see the Dodgers iteration of Andruw Jones, because he was already out on the disabled list.  We didn’t even know who was starting for either team, so on my Samsung A920 flip phone, I looked up to see Todd Wellemeyer for the Cards, versus some guy we’d never heard of named Clayton Kershaw.  Who?

Another cursory glance showed this Kershaw kid from the minor leagues who had like a 9.7 strikeouts-per-nine rate (which is extremely good) who was making his Major League debut.  Pretty cool, we thought, getting to see some hotshot prospect’s debut.

And he didn’t disappoint, either, as this Clayton Kershaw guy went six innings and struck out seven.  He didn’t get a decision, but the Dodgers went onto win the game in extra innings.  But we knew we had just seen the start of potentially a really good pitcher’s career.

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I should go tryout for the Braves

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Don’t be deceived by the Braves’ second third place in the standings – they’re in the division that refuses to have anyone other than the Nationals at over .500 in record, and if the Braves were in almost any other division in the majors, they’d be the last place team they deserve to be.  Which speaks volumes to how much the Phillies and Marlins are sucking, when they’re somehow worse than the Braves and the Mets.

Needless to say, despite “not” being a “last place” team, the Braves are smart enough to continuously be putting feelers out in the world, and looking for diamonds in the rough.  Which is to say, the Braves are a notoriously cheap team that is always hoping to find diamonds in the rough that they can pay the absolute minimal amount of salary and hope to get the absolute maximum amount of output for.

With that being said, the Braves are one of the few teams in baseball left that still holds open tryouts, with 2017 being no exception.  Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like, where the Atlanta Braves conduct baseball tryouts, to the public, to see if there’s any diamonds in any rough, that are worth taking a flyer out on, and offer the slightest sliver of chance at earning the chance to get paid (peanuts) to play baseball, professionally.

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SSDPSTBUS

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Same Shit, Different Public Swindling Tax Burdening Unnecessary Stadium. 

Obvious, wasn’t it?

The irony is that it might sound like my exclusively sour grapes at my disagreement to the existence of ScumTrust Park, but such an egregiously overblown acronym can seamlessly be utilized by any one of the many sports venues constructed within the last 15 years that were constructed under similar shady circumstances.

But anyway, surprising nobody at all, the Braves are performing at the level they are expected to, regardless of the fact that they are somehow in second place in the absolutely dreadful NL East.  It’s not their fault that there are a litany of other teams that are somehow miraculously worse than the Braves, and it makes me feel like I have to do math and show my work to prove that there are enough teams with good of records as there are as many teams with abysmal, worse-than-the-Braves records out there.

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The Gwinnett Barves

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

A little bit of backstory: the Atlanta Braves are one of the few organizations in baseball that owns the majority of their minor league affiliates.  It’s why all the teams they own are called “Braves;” the Danville Braves, Rome Braves, Mississippi Braves and Gwinnett Braves.  At one point, they stressed the importance of naming all their teams Braves, so that they could really reinforce brand awareness and strengthen their identity to all parts of the Southeast in which they resided in.

This was a stark difference to the vast majority of the rest of Minor League Baseball, who had team names that were often more whimsical and often identifiable to their specific towns/regions, like the Montgomery Biscuits, Modesto Nuts, Las Vegas 51s, Buffalo Bisons and Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp just to name a few.  It was almost a rite of passage for young players to work their way up the ranks, through teams with less than prestigious names, before they had the chances to hope to play for one of the 30 Major League Baseball franchises.

Personally, I’ve always felt the Braves were an organization of squares, to name all their minor league franchises Braves, in such a calculated and serious-business manner.  Like their 18-year old rookies in Danville might be able to close their eyes and imagine that they’re in a 35,000 attendance ballpark in Atlanta and suddenly translate playing like a major leaguer in their rinky-dink park that maybe 35 people are actually at.  Or that their fans will automatically love the Atlanta Braves solely because their favorite players in Jackson, Mississippi were ultimately traded to the White Sox or Diamondbacks.

Anyway, what prompted this post was this news that I saw that the Gwinnett Braves are taking suggestions for new names for them to use in starting in 2018.  The Atlanta Braves are finally opening up to the idea of naming one of their Jesus affiliates something other than “the Braves.”

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When inspiration hits like a baseball to the nuts

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

No, seriously: Tim Tebow accidentally hits a fan in the balls with an errant throw that only Tim Tebow could be capable of making

All through the day, I couldn’t really find anything I wanted to write about.  Perusing through usual local and national outlets, looking for anything that seemed interesting to write about, scanning through sports sites and pop-culture sites to see if anything sparked any inspiration, no dice.  As much as I hate to do so, it looked like it would be a day in which I wouldn’t have something to write about, as the goings in my life aren’t particularly fascinating currently and there’s little there to write about either.

And then a story about Tim Tebow accidentally nailing a guy in the nuts with a bad throw shows up, I make the not bad face and now I’ve got something to write about.  The internet giveth.

Honestly, the story itself is nothing home to write about, despite the layers of irony there is about Tim Tebow making a bad throw, despite it being in baseball and not football.  To nobody’s surprise, Tebow personally dissuaded the situation, by checking in on the guy whose nuts he rang, signed some stuff, probably said some prayers and bowed their heads, and everyone went home all smiles and happy.  Story over.  But that’s what Tim Tebow does with people, personally, engages them, is friendly to them, and everyone walks away better for the encounter.

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