Surprising nobody: the Gwinnett Braves announce finalists for the team renaming contest and they all suck:
- Gwinnett Buttons
- Gwinnett Big Mouths
- Gwinnett Gobblers
- Gwinnett Hush Puppies
- Gwinnett Lambchops
- Gwinnett Sweet Teas
I mean, it was a forgone conclusion that the new name was going to be a PC-friendly, vanilla, uncreative and probably determined regardless of votes, but c’mon, these are pretty particularly poor as far as options go. Sure, passive-aggressive griefing options like Tax Burdens and classic no-brainers like the G-Spots weren’t going to get through, but surely some way better options must have fallen by the wayside in this shitty contest.
Even the AJC themselves have harsh criticism for something that they reported on, and they’re pretty much spot on: the Gwinnett Buttons is probably going to win, and they’ve deliberately surrounded it with shitty options to make it seem like the best choice.
Personally, given the options given, I’d go with Gobblers. Solely for the trolling rationale that I could call them the Cockgobblers, which was one of the numerous insults derived from the Harold & Kumar series. Also, the initials being GG, it would open the door to all sorts of passive-aggressive mockery involving the same letters used to facetiously state at the end of your League of Legends games, regardless of the outcome.
Whatever though, much like the rest of the Braves organization, this too falls flat and fails to understand the importance of actual fan interaction. They try so hard to fake being organic that it’s so obvious that they’re trying too hard and it just ruins everything. Braves fans can’t be expected to be excited about something as mundane as buttons, and miss the mark on the importance of cheesy minor league identities, like the Montgomery Biscuits or Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, and instead, baseball fans will be given a vanilla and mundane identity that will have a hard time moving merchandise and put the team even more behind the curve in minor league popularity.
