The Ft. Lauderdale airport shooter looks like Brandon Belt

Inappropriate, given the tragic loss of multiple lives at the Ft. Lauderdale airport, but when I saw the mugshot of the gunman, I couldn’t help but notice the striking resemblance to San Francisco Giants first baseman, Brandon Belt.

Sure, he’s the player I identify as the guy I dislike the most on the team I dislike more than any other in Major League Baseball, which I almost want to say that he’s the guy I dislike more than anyone else in MLB, which isn’t entirely accurate, because that dubious honor goes to Melky Cabrera, but even I have to feel kind of bad for Brandon Belt that he’s such a dead ringer for a guy whose face has been, and will probably be flashing all over the news for at least another week, as a guy identified as a mentally ill, PTSD-addled example of the shortcomings of veteran care and mental health knowledge.

Seriously, when I first saw the mugshot, I immediately thought that Brandon Belt had done something illegal and gotten arrested or something. 

I hope one day when Brandon Belt is inevitably exposed as being the overrated hack he is and is designated for assignment, and has to take his talents to Asia in order to keep his career going, Asian fans will make signs using the Ft. Lauderdale shooter’s mugshot with Brandon Belt’s name.  Like when Taiwanese fans used a photo of Johnny Cueto on a sign for Manny Ramirez, because All Look Same.

Ohhhhhh-ohhh-oh-oh-owwwnnneeeeddd

If you don’t know what the Tomahawk Chop is, take a few seconds to educate yourself on what it sounds like.  Now imagine changing the last part of the chant to a drawn out “owned” instead of an “ohhhhh.”

Because that’s what it sounds like when the Atlanta Braves organization gets owned.

At long last, the national nightmare of ambivalent taxpayers getting fleeced to build expensive, egregious and unnecessary stadiums, complexes and training fields for the Atlanta Braves has run into some resistance, for a change.  The Collier County board of commissioners unanimously voted 5-0 in favor of NO to the Atlanta Braves’ want to build a new spring training facility in the Naples area; naturally, at the expense of local taxpayers, and not out of their own deep, deep pockets.

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The Atlanta Braves are basically Kurt Angle

What other shitty things can they do: Cobb County to evict and demolish anywhere from 15~30 existing homes in order to create a four-lane road to help alleviate traffic, namely that will be caused by the arrival of the Atlanta Braves

In the late 90s, Kurt Angle arrived in the WWF.  Back then, nobody really knew what was going to happen when he showed up on television, and it was clear that creative had a general idea, but they had to see how the fans would react before they could really move forward.  So Angle came out, started winning his matches, celebrating a little on the excessive side, and started cutting promos about his “three I’s.”  As hoped, the fans soured on his character, and Kurt Angle headed down the path of becoming an insufferable heel.

However, in spite of the fact that he had successfully drawn the ire of the fans, and was on the heel end of the spectrum, his character was obnoxiously square, acting like he was the best guy on the planet, and insisted that he was a respectable, admirable, wholesome wrestler that everyone’s kids should look up to.

That’s basically what the Atlanta Braves are now, with the help of the greedy bureaucrats that run Cobb County acting like Creative, to help churn this heel of an organization along, while they act like they’ve done nothing wrong.  They’re Kurt Angle.

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Simply amazing

The Chicago Cubs are not my team, but they don’t need to be my team for me to understand and recognize the significance of them winning the World Series for the first time in 108 years.  Last night’s game was about as epic as a baseball game could possibly get, and make no mistake, it most certainly was a battle worthy of the two deserving best teams in Major League Baseball in 2016; seven games, rain delays, scoring on both teams’ supposed untouchable relievers, and extra innings to decide a winner, it was practically a microcosm of an entire season in a single game.

Last night’s game amazing to me in so many ways.  So rarely does an odds-on favorite prior to the start of a season actually end up going all the way, often times falling prey to the hype, injuries, the rise of an upstart, the hot September team, or the San Francisco Giants.  Not only were the Cubs the proverbial hype machine all the way back in February before Spring Training even began, they marched through the season with dominance, almost winning in defiance of the monumental hype outlets like ESPN heaped upon them on practically a daily basis, winning 100+ games and marching into the playoffs with little doubt that they belonged.

Where they ended the obnoxious curse of the San Francisco Giants and the even-numbered year, to which at this point I was just grateful for that, and rooted for the Cubs out of gratitude and the fact that I was meh on the idea of the Cleveland Indians or Toronto Blue Jays winning a World Series alternatively.

It’s like I know a little bit about baseball or something, when just about every single concern I previously expressed about Joe Maddon’s pitching management came to haunt the Cubs last night, and there’s little I like more than being right about things.  But in spite of Maddon’s over-managing and over-meddling with pitching changes that almost sunk the Cubs in tragic fashion, his players simply wanted it more, and in an amazing display of genuine curse-breaking, overcame an unexpected choke job when momentum was clearly on the side of the Indians.

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In Joe we trust, but I don’t like it

Game 6 of the World Series couldn’t have been a more perfect scenario for the Chicago Cubs; the Cubs get a big lead, and the need for key relievers goes down.  Aroldis Chapman can get an extra day’s rest a day after throwing 2 1/3 innings and prepare for the winner-take-all Game 7 the following night.

Or at least that would have been the script of just about every baseball manager, regardless of if they’re old school or new school.  Simply, there’s no reason to tax key pitchers in scenarios where they really don’t need to be used.

Instead, despite the fact that the Cubs were up 7-2 in the 7th inning, we saw Aroldis Chapman warming up in the bullpen; at first, I figured it was just a routine bullpen session, just to keep loose.  But then two Indians hitters were on base, and Maddon was walking out to the mound, tapping his left arm, signaling for the unleashing of the All-Star closer.  Chapman only needed two pitches to get the third out of the inning, but not before he stepped awkwardly on first base and came off the field with a noticeable limp.

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Well, that was obvious

Like finding out water is wet: Affidavit states “strong odor of alcohol” emanating from Jose Fernandez and his friends’ bodies at the scene of the incident that took all three lives

Edit: confirmed to be legally drunk.  Also, cocaine. 

Honestly, I’m more surprised that this news didn’t come out like a week or so after the World Series.  With the Cubs and Indians being the two participants, the media has no shortage of rhetoric and fluff about curses, streaks and baseball tragedies to talk about to fill any and all baseball coverage.  More coverage about Jose Fernandez would’ve been great filler to bridge the gap between the World Series and the start off free agency as well as awards season.

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When will I learn

That my time is occasionally more important than many things?  Like an ill-informed opportunity to meet Ron Swanson.

Earlier in the week, I saw plug on a local website for An Evening With Nick Offerman, I guess a touring appearance circuit in order to push Nick Offerman’s newest woodworking book Good Clean Fun: Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop.  I thought to myself, this is something that intrigues me, getting to see and meet Ron Swanson.  I hadn’t learned about this event until after it had passed, like most other cool occurrences throughout the city, and being held at Georgia Tech, it wasn’t in an inconvenient location. 

However, I have a lot of things that I need to do, and some things actually have a short window in which I need to complete them.  But as a diehard Parks and Rec fan, especially of Ron Swanson, it seemed like an opportunity that I shouldn’t let pass.

I decided to go.

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